Total jerk.

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Replies

  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
    Now I stare at the person next to them and calmly and quietly ask 'do you know how stupid he makes you look?'

    OMG That's a good one. I'm sticking that in my arsenal for the next time I have to deal with idiotic group of chavs.
  • GymPoet
    GymPoet Posts: 107 Member
    Everyone around him realized that comment flaunted his own immaturity.
  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
    He probably has a small d#$% and feels he needs to bring everyone else down so he won't feel so bad about his own lack of confidence. Keep your chin up. Best thing you can do is to keep going and show him that he's dead wrong. And remember, your journey to health is about you....but doesn't mean you cant use his comments as some extra motivation!
  • horrorstory
    horrorstory Posts: 125 Member
    The question I'd be asking is why my boyfriend wasn't defending me against this guy?

    The first time the guy made those comments my boyfriend didnt say anything. He just ignored the comment and said goodnight to everyone else. He was extremely mad and when we left he explained why he didnt say anything. His reasons were all legit and it didnt cause an issue between us. He said if comments like that were ever made again he would do something about it.

    The second comment my boyfriend wasnt there to hear it. I didnt tell him it happened.

    We both hate this guy for more reasons that just the comments he has made.
    I didnt want to add fuel to a fire.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    poop on the hood of his car.

    Or in his shoes.

    Edit: Obviously, don't really do this. The guy is good enough at making himself look bad that all you need to do is nothing.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Just punch him in the face. It helps.

    And then carry on losing weight.

    ^^^This!

    For real though, he is nobody to you! Just focus on how you feel about yourself. You can't change what others say. It just goes to show you who they are. So let it go, because you know who you are, that guy doesn't.
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
    My hubby would have either choked the dude out or beat his face in.

    This douche is the typical bully, making others feel bad about themselves in order to redirect negative attention from themselves. He's trying to compensate for something that has happened to him or a trait of his he doesn't want people to notice.

    I'd kill him with kindness. "Oh *insert name* how've you been? It's been awhile since I've heard anything about you! I hope everything is going awesome." And walk away. He'll be stunned and probably feel like a ****.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Leave it alone, ignore it, and recognize that you could be 6 feet tall, blonde, 105 pounds and have a contract with Victoria's Secret and he would still say something derogatory toward you. His playmate would rather play with you and he's pouting.

    And your boyfriend should ignore it as well. He's not going to get any kudos from society for protecting your honor. Fighting with a teammate could get him kicked off the team, or even worse, taken out at the knees. Let him deal with it in his own fashion, which is probably to ignore it.
  • horrorstory
    horrorstory Posts: 125 Member
    Also, I forgot to add that my boyfriend isnt friends with this guy.
    They play on the same football team and that team practices 6 days a week plus game days.
    So I didnt want to create a conflict between them.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    How do you guys deal with jerks like that? I just feel so defeated.

    Most women I know end up marrying them and making their life hell for 20 - 30 years. That will teach them to be jerks won't it?
  • MelissaBoydston82
    MelissaBoydston82 Posts: 47
    if anyone ever disrespected me like that, I wouldn't have time to ponder over it or wonder what this guy's problem was....b/c my husband would beat the **** out of him. At the very least, your boyfriend should be setting him straight by telling him to stfu. what does your boyfriend have to say about this?
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    Now I stare at the person next to them and calmly and quietly ask 'do you know how stupid he makes you look?'

    Normally gives them a bit of a pause for thought, during which I walk away.

    I LOVE this response. And although I know how you feel, because random comments have knocked me flat on my *kitten* before, I also know that logically there's nothing you can really do to prevent jerks from being jerks. You have to remind yourself that they are only speaking for themselves and nobody else agrees with them. Put them in the same category as people who think we never landed on the moon or people who fall for the Nigerian prince scam- in other words, WRONG. And no reflection on you.

    Which is easier said than done, I understand. But try.
  • adnamalegna
    adnamalegna Posts: 203 Member
    I'm from East Texas- and I like using that so-sweet-that- sugar-wouldn't-melt-in-your-mouth approach. Kill 'em with kindness. Call me a B? "why thank you, darling, same to you. have a nice day now, you hear?" Or just say what you want in the nicest way possible followed by "bless your heart" EX: "Why aren't you just a jealous little man with a small penis? Bless your heart."
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,656 Member
    So my boyfriend plays on a football team, and last year there was an awards ceremony that was held a 9 hour drive away from the city we live in. My boyfriend decided that he didnt want to go out and party with the guys after because we had a long ride home and he was tired. This one guy on his team started saying that he wasnt going out because of me. (not true at all, im not that kind of person) The guy then went on to say that my boyfriend should come out and he will find him a "new one"and "a waaaay better one" (in reference to me) and tons of other rude comments. After a long night of being upset, having a total breakdown and arguing with my boyfriend - even though it wasnt his fault - girl logic..... I forgot about the comment and moved on.

    A few days ago, I was going to a practice and the guy was there and saif to his friend loud enough for me to hear...."Wow. I cant believe he is still with that fat b*#$h".

    BAM. Right in the confidence. I never get this upset about stupid comments and Im really a strong confident person but this guy....totally knocked me down and now i cant forget his comments.

    How do you guys deal with jerks like that? I just feel so defeated.

    Give as good as you get. People like that are arsewipes, no matter, he will learn in the end don't you worry and it will come at a time he will least expect.

    That was his intention by the way, to chip away your confidence, are you going to let him succeed at that too? He said it loud enough for you to hear, that says it all, he is a no-mark, one day he will see that too.

    As I said, give as good as you get and if he doesn't like it, that's his problem, not yours.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    How do you guys deal with jerks like that? I just feel so defeated.

    Most women I know end up marrying them and making their life hell for 20 - 30 years. That will teach them to be jerks won't it?

    Damn, you know some sad, sad women. Nobody I know does this.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    The question I'd be asking is why my boyfriend wasn't defending me against this guy?

    The first time the guy made those comments my boyfriend didnt say anything. He just ignored the comment and said goodnight to everyone else. He was extremely mad and when we left he explained why he didnt say anything. His reasons were all legit and it didnt cause an issue between us. He said if comments like that were ever made again he would do something about it.

    The second comment my boyfriend wasnt there to hear it. I didnt tell him it happened.

    We both hate this guy for more reasons that just the comments he has made.
    I didnt want to add fuel to a fire.

    Unfortunately, there are circumstances that do require tact.....even when you just want to throw punches. It's good that you understand and that your boyfriend IS willing to do something about it if need be.

    But I think it is totally awesome that you decided to handle this on your own versus running to him to try to fix it.

    My advice? Ignore him. Yeah, I know...easier said then done. But just keep reminding yourself that it only hurts/bothers you if YOU let it. Aside from physical pain, no one can make you feel anything. It's you who lets them do that.

    And honestly, if you play it cool and ignore him...in the long run all the other teammates will notice how you are handling it and probably respect the hell out of you for not causing drama. So much so that they may end up telling the guy "Enough already." Or he'll just find someone else to bother when he realizes he can't get to you. In rare cases, I've also found that guys do that to test to see if you'll actually be able to "deal with the team" in the long run.
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
    Ignore the jerk.

    And remember- that with even having some jerk friends that he's still with YOU.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    Oh man. Thank you so much guys. Next time he makes a comment, Im going to punch him in the face, quote waynes world and walk away looking fabulous. Haha.

    Get it girl!!

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  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    Pee in his cleats.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    Football players tend to be ignorant, viscious neanderthals with a tendency to lash out at others, particularly the weak or insecure, when they have a problem with themselves. I say this as someone who spent 9 years as a starting offensive lineman, so I got a front row seat to a lot of the cruelty. I take it as a badge of pride that most of the team didn't like me (the few exceptions were generally the only people worht getting to know). The only thing brutes like that understand is violence and insults, but it isn't worth it. I let things get to me more than once, and it only resulted in retaliation later with no resolution of the issue. Try to let it go. It might help to realize that most of them are headed nowhere in their lives. I went to my high school reunion recently, and none of the meatheads had amounted to anything or were at all happy with their lives. It seems that being viscious and small-minded is not conducive to career sucess.

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