My Boyfriend thinks I'm Fat

:drinker: :smokin:

Lol get rid of his sorry butt before he feeds you more BS that you will get stuck in your mind and think about constantly.

Seems like a real loser if you ask me. Guys really say these things to their girlfriends?!


So glad I'm dating a real man.

I had the same exact situation when I was in my early 20s. Same heights, same weights, same boyfriend preception. Here's the thing: I looked great at all of those weights. At 135, I was starting to look a little angular. At 145, more on the luscious side My favorite photo of myself ever was at 145. It was actually from the night I met that boyfriend. Somehow, I was thin enough the night we met, but 6 months in, he thought I should lose weight. It was kind of bizarre.

We went to couples therapy briefly after he cheated on me. In a one-on-one session, I shared with the counselor that my boyfriend thought I was fat. She walked over, took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said "You are NOT fat." I needed that so much - I had started to believe him, which was ridiculous. it was doing terrible things to my self esteem. (Well, that and the infidelity, you know

I am not saying that your bf is the same as my ex (if he is, DTMFA). I AM saying that he should eff off about your weight. You are FINE.

It kind of depends if he is bringing it up a lot, or if he is being honest with you when you ask him about your weight. If he is making a big deal about it, that is a problem. My husband thinks I'm sexy at whatever weight (up to a point, I'm sure), but I know he likes me a lot better at my current weight, and he would be honest if I asked him if I needed to lose weight.

Try harder. Troll posts are supposed to be believable enough to get people hooked. I am not hooked ergo this troll attempt sucks.

I think my husband is old. I mean, he's 45.

lol... 45 is old? wow.

I'm 41. I married him when he was a hot 31 year old.

LOL....hate to tell ya, then you're old too.

I think my husband is old. I mean, he's 45.

lol... 45 is old? wow.

I'm 41. I married him when he was a hot 31 year old.

LOL....hate to tell ya, then you're old too.

Are you kidding? I'm four years YOUNGER than him.

Also, my kids are three and one, so they're not old enough yet to tell me how out-of-it I am. I have at least three more years of grace.

hes a bad guy.......this isnt going to end well even if you do lose the weight for him
something else must be wrong with him too

So does mine! I am about 147 and 5 ft 4. I have to admit I am a bit wobbly. Wish I was two or at least one stone lighter so I joined this.

I think my husband is old. I mean, he's 45.

lol... 45 is old? wow.

I'm 41. I married him when he was a hot 31 year old.

LOL....hate to tell ya, then you're old too.

Are you kidding? I'm four years YOUNGER than him.

Also, my kids are three and one, so they're not old enough yet to tell me how out-of-it I am. I have at least three more years of grace.

So you honestly think that because you are a measly 4 years younger then him, that he is old yet you are not?
My husband is 46. I am 39. My husband is far from old. If you feel your husband is old at 45, I hate to say it, you need to add yourself to that bracket as well.

What, does he weigh you each morning? Most guys have no idea what their girlfriend/wife/OH weighs and are smart enough not to ask. Any guy that comments on you about 5 pounds is clearly a controlling jerk best left at the kerb. Losing weight within healthy boundaries for yourself or for your health is one thing, losing five pounds for a guy is pointless as he will then find something else to change about you.

You deserve to have someone that supports and respects you and your choices.

Here's your litmus test. If you want to test this to we are correct, just tell him -- confidently, like the amazing chick you are -- that you don't appreciate being called fat and that you find it disrespectful being compared to other women and you would appreciate being spoken to with respect for your body.

If he:
-Laughs at you/makes fun of you "Are you serious?"
-Tries to minimize the situation or invalidate you "You're too sensitive" "It's not a big deal"
-Gets angry or defensive "Where is this coming from?" "You just want to make excuses for yourself" "Am I not allowed to look at other women?"
-Turns it around on you/tries to shame you "YOU say this and it makes me feel bad" "YOU just want to blame me" "I'm sorry YOU have no self-esteem and have to compare yourself to other girls" "Right, like YOU don't look at other men"

then he's abusive, or at the very least not mature, kind and stable enough for a big boy relationship and will only hurt you. The ONLY -- and I mean ONLY -- acceptable response to that kind of confrontation is, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so hurtful. Your health is important to me but your happiness moreso." Those comments need to stop and I don't believe they will -- he'll sneak in his disapproval other ways.

Trust me girl -- been there, done that. Do not drag this out. "You're fat" and "I'm attracted to this type of girl more than I am you" is abusive. Even if he pads it with "I'm just concerned for your health." Do you ever look at the kind of girl he tells you he is attracted to and feel jealous? Sad? Hurt? less-than? Comparing yourself? Congratulations, his abuse is working. It's a power play. Get out, get out, get out!

troll post

Smells like it.

I'm the same height as you, and weigh about 153 - at my heaviest earlier this year I was closer to 165.

My boyfriend not ONCE called me fat - actually, anytime I started going off about how fat I was, he would just end up squeezing me and telling me how beautiful I am, and I love him a lot for that.

I was probably close to your current weight when we started dating, and even though I did gain weight through the first year and a half of our relationship, he never told me I'm out of shape. Maybe it's because he didn't want to hurt my feelings, and because he knew that I knew I am out of shape and need to do something to be happier about my appearance. Maybe it's because he loves my curves and doesn't want me to be a stick in any way :laugh:

Anyway, I think that's a little rude or perhaps picky about your boyfriend calling you fat because of a 5 pound difference :huh: Maybe he was not meaning it to be said in such a way, but is concerned that you will keep gaining more weight until you are at an unhealthy weight. Either way, I wouldn't be afraid to tell him how it honestly makes you feel, and if he can't take it, then he doesn't really seem to be worth your time, in my humble opinion. Wanting your significant other to be in good shape for health reasons is one thing, but wanting your significant other to alter their appearance because you're a shallow is another.

5'6" 140 pounds is not fat at all. That is ridiculous. He is a jerk. Find a new boyfriend who loves you for you and won't lust after a bunch of skinny girls. Trust me, this one is no good.