My Boyfriend thinks I'm Fat

1…457910

Replies

  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    I'm thinking you need a new boyfriend, seriously.
  • serenere
    serenere Posts: 70 Member
    dump him! seriously. And not because of the weight, but because of the comment. I would never be with someone that makes me feel bad about myself, doesn't matter if you are out of shape or not. If he thought you were he could have been helpful and suggest you two do some sort of sport together, not just making bad comments.
  • gr8xpectationz
    gr8xpectationz Posts: 161 Member
    Here's the thing... Is this really a man who will stick with you through the ups and downs of life? What about when he finds you unattractive because you're pregnant? What about when he finds you unattractive because your hair falls out when you're going through chemo. What about when he finds you unattractive because your skin wrinkles as you age.

    Seriously, do NOT be this guy's trophy, because if your relationship is conditioned on his whimsical opinion of your attractiveness, then he has a ready-made excuse not to stick with you through life's unattractive times.
  • brittanynicole_86
    brittanynicole_86 Posts: 10 Member
    Oh my god what an *kitten*! Seriously...ditch him. When I met my boyfriend I was 5'7.5" and 145, now I'm 100 pounds more than that and never has a word like that crossed his lips! People like that cause beautiful healthy people like you to have eating disorders. You deserve better!
  • grentea
    grentea Posts: 96 Member
    So basically, what he is saying is, " You would be perfect, if only you conform to what I think is "good enough". I love you so much, I want you to leave your self esteem at the door." Maybe you are better off without that in your life.
  • MissBenes
    MissBenes Posts: 18
    I think it's ok if he's honest. But you know, it's ok only if "you're chubby" is followed by "I like you that way too."
  • MercuryBlue
    MercuryBlue Posts: 886 Member
    I've been with my husband for a decade now, and he's seen me at my heaviest and my lightest. The lowest I ever got was when I was about 115- and I looked too thin, in my opinion. The highest I ever got was just before I gave birth, and I was 199- I remember that clear as day, because it was so close to that 200 mark.

    Never, not in ten years, has my husband ever commented on my weight. At all sizes, he's complimented me and told me he found me sexy. The closest thing to "criticism" I've ever received about my figure was when he knew I was struggling with weight loss and he said, "I don't care what you weigh. I care that you're not happy right now, you don't feel good about yourself, that you're feeling depressed. If losing weight is going to make you feel happier, then I agree it's what you should do, because that's all that matters." And with those words of support, I went on to lose about fifty pounds or so. I've since gained a bit again because of health issues, still got a bit of roundness to me. I'm 5'6.5", 155 pounds, and JUST on the verge of being overweight for my height (though not there yet). 140, at your height, is really not fat. It's not too bad at all!

    Honestly, if your boyfriend were concerned about your health or thought you were at risk, that's one thing. But to remark on your weight at this point, that's just douchey and gross.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    He sounds like my first husband. I put up with that $%!# for five years, and looking back, that was five years too many. Don't waste your time trying to change him; he's unlikely to change. The only person you can change is yourself and how you deal with his attitude.
  • ciaokk
    ciaokk Posts: 19 Member
    seriously? He's not very respectful of you, he only looks at you for your body, not your mind. Not someone who is worth staying around for....
  • kasimarie29
    kasimarie29 Posts: 128 Member
    My boyfriend thinks I am out of shape and chubby. I am 5'6" and weigh 140 pounds. At 145, he thinks I'm fat, and he can deal with it when I'm 135. Oh the things we do for love...

    Is this ok? I'm not sure whether to be upset about or agree with him. Its true i'm not at my most idea weight, but I eat healthy, do yoga all the time, and do the best I can with exercise for having a job that requires me to be sitting 9 hours a day.

    I used to be good with how I looked, but he really likes skinny girls and makes me feel like "I look good" is not as adequate as "I look like a sport's illustrated model."


    I'm five foot two and i would KILL to weight 140! I'm sure you look fine the way you are. Don't let men change you. I learned that the hard way.
  • candifeola
    candifeola Posts: 305 Member
    Time to get a new boyfriend girlie.
  • Tigermum9
    Tigermum9 Posts: 546 Member
    get shut
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    This sounds like my abusive ex. He is an EX for a reason. Don't let anybody make you feel small, especially the one person who is supposed to make you feel amazing.

    Kick his *kitten*, or send him to me and I'll kick it for you.
  • PilotX
    PilotX Posts: 233 Member
    troll post



    indeed
  • Turtlesallthewaydown
    Turtlesallthewaydown Posts: 64 Member
    And what is he willing to do in return? Relationships are about give and take and I'm sure he isn't a physical ideal of perfection. So if you have to meet his ideal for the female form what is he willing to do to keep things equal?
  • OperationXmas
    OperationXmas Posts: 2
    He's got to go.
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    tumblr_lw3u42TcMx1r3ovdbo1_400.gif
  • KathyPerry70
    KathyPerry70 Posts: 40 Member
    Sounds like it's time for you to find someone who likes you the way you are now, not 5 or 10lbs from now. If he wants a S.I. model, let him try to find one. I feel really irritated by this because I'm 5'6.5" and 145lbs is my target weight! The question shouldn't be should you lose weight because he things so. How do YOU feel about you? You need someone who'll encourage you to be the person you want to be, not what they want you to be. Argh!
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Your boyfriend thinks you're fat? Well, I ain't down with that.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    He is an *kitten*. Lose him.
  • LAnne16
    LAnne16 Posts: 272 Member
    Ridiculous!
    There is no way to get over this if you have an adult conversation with him and tell him straight up how it's affecting you.

    If my boyfriend thought I was getting fatter... I'd want him to tell me. ... But I wouldn't want him to be an *kitten* about it! There's a level of honesty allowed in relationships but he shouldn't be making you feel like this.

    If he's unwilling to change, then you need to make a real decision about him.
  • Pampiress
    Pampiress Posts: 1
    If he can't love you for you, then get rid of him! you are 5'6" and only weigh 140! I wish I weighed that! Get you a man that loves you for you, not if you look like a swimsuit model.
  • arvernegirl
    arvernegirl Posts: 2 Member
    You need to find a guy who appreciates you. This guy sounds like he is making you feel insecure, and I would wonder why he needs to do this.
    If he truly likes thinner women he should find one and stop picking on you.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    I think my husband is old. I mean, he's 45.

    lol... 45 is old? wow.

    I'm 41. I married him when he was a hot 31 year old.

    LOL....hate to tell ya, then you're old too.

    Are you kidding? I'm four years YOUNGER than him.

    Also, my kids are three and one, so they're not old enough yet to tell me how out-of-it I am. I have at least three more years of grace.

    So you honestly think that because you are a measly 4 years younger then him, that he is old yet you are not?
    My husband is 46. I am 39. My husband is far from old. If you feel your husband is old at 45, I hate to say it, you need to add yourself to that bracket as well.

    Google "irony".
  • brendadale1
    brendadale1 Posts: 90 Member
    My opinion this is a type of emotional and mental abuse...No human needs that, in the world in which we live.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    All, thank you for the support. I am starting to realize after reading these comments that I need to stand up for myself way more when it comes to him commenting on my weight.

    He does not literally look at me and call me "fat", but he does say things like, "you are out of shape" or "you have the potential to look amazing." He has a complex about his father, who is terribly obese and he is terrified I will somehow end up the same way if I don't always look skinny. I know that he shouldn't be taking this insecurity out on me, but at least there is a reason for it.

    Also, this is literally the first time I have posted anything anywhere other than facebook, so can someone please tell me what a "troll post" is...and possibly avoid using crazy acronyms becuase I don't know what they mean.

    DTMFA is from Dan Savage. It means "Dump the Mother F**ker Already."
  • olphvarox
    olphvarox Posts: 3
    Sounds like you should not be with this guy. 5'6" and 145 lbs is healthy.

    If you feel like you need to lose weight then do it for you. Don't do it cos of what someone else thinks of you. It's hard sometimes because we care about what others think, but the most important opinion is your own.
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    Wow...and some of these responses....
    Look at the person you fell in love with, you're still the same people.
    Ask him what you guys are going to do when you're 75-80 and a bag of wrinkles, and he is too!

    Dig deeper society.
    Smh. -_-
  • MelMelMiller
    MelMelMiller Posts: 54
    I agree that you should do stuff for yourself. It you're comfortable with your body, than he should also be comfortable with it. And if not, I'm sure somebody else will love and appreciate you, just the way you are. =)
  • blt0087
    blt0087 Posts: 115
    Your boyfriend thinks you're fat? Well, I ain't down with that.

    :laugh:

Categories