My Boyfriend thinks I'm Fat

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Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Once upon a time I was 5'5" and 125 pounds. I wore a size 2-4. I was with a guy who said things that made me feel I was unattractive and made me feel all kinds of awful things about myself. And guess what? He was wrong. Don't believe it just because your boyfriend says it; in fact, someone would would tell you that in those terms is most likely wrong about a lot of things.

    If you want to get into your ideal shape, dump him and do it for you.

    All of this.

    My ex-boyfriend used to get on me about watching my weight if was more than 115 pounds at 5'5. Notice he's an EX-boyfriend. The only weight I had to lose was about 140 pounds of crappy boyfriend.
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
    My boyfriend thinks I am out of shape and chubby. I am 5'6" and weigh 140 pounds. At 145, he thinks I'm fat, and he can deal with it when I'm 135. Oh the things we do for love...

    Is this ok? I'm not sure whether to be upset about or agree with him. Its true i'm not at my most idea weight, but I eat healthy, do yoga all the time, and do the best I can with exercise for having a job that requires me to be sitting 9 hours a day.

    I used to be good with how I looked, but he really likes skinny girls and makes me feel like "I look good" is not as adequate as "I look like a sport's illustrated model."
    O

    NO.

    Not OK. NEVER EVER settle for someone like this. If he is making you feel like this now, as time goes on - won't be any better. TRUTH. KICK him to the curb. Move on. Life is too short to spend any time or energy on *kitten*.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    Don't feed the trolls
  • feelingreat90
    feelingreat90 Posts: 5
    He is really skinny...lucky duck inherited his mother's ridiculous metabolism plus is on his feet about 10 hours a day for his job. When we started dating 2 1/2 years ago we weighed the same at 145 and he is 6'2".
  • Event_Horizon975
    Event_Horizon975 Posts: 226 Member
    I have probably 1000 things to say about this but most noteworthy:

    1. Lose a huge amount of dead weight by dumping him
    2. Work on your self respect and priorities so you realize that 1xxlbs ain't nuttin & you're more than just a number
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,256 Member
    ....... he really likes skinny girls and makes me feel like "I look good" is not as adequate as "I look like a sport's illustrated model."

    Even Sports Illustrated swimsuit models don't really look like that. But if that's what he wants, tell him to buy a subscription and dream on.

    Personally, I would LOVE to be 140 pounds. However, if YOU feel the need to lose more weight, do it for YOU.... not that guy you are dating that is living in a fantasy world. JMO. :)
  • kesciamuhammad
    kesciamuhammad Posts: 27 Member
    I think my husband is old. I mean, he's 45.

    lol... 45 is old? wow.

    I'm 41. I married him when he was a hot 31 year old.

    LOL....hate to tell ya, then you're old too.

    Are you kidding? I'm four years YOUNGER than him.

    Also, my kids are three and one, so they're not old enough yet to tell me how out-of-it I am. I have at least three more years of grace.

    So you honestly think that because you are a measly 4 years younger then him, that he is old yet you are not?
    My husband is 46. I am 39. My husband is far from old. If you feel your husband is old at 45, I hate to say it, you need to add yourself to that bracket as well.
  • wool_gathering
    wool_gathering Posts: 8 Member
    Yeah...not cool. It's possible for a boyfriend to positively motivate you to be healthier and more fit without being disrespectful! In any case, it sounds like you're a perfectly reasonable weight!
  • katekross
    katekross Posts: 463 Member
    I didn't even read the OP and think you should dump the son of a *****. Any guy who mentions your weight is worthless. Get that **** off your shoes and MOVE ON.
  • kesciamuhammad
    kesciamuhammad Posts: 27 Member
    I think my husband is old. I mean, he's 45.

    lol... 45 is old? wow.

    I'm 41. I married him when he was a hot 31 year old.

    LOL....hate to tell ya, then you're old too.

    Are you kidding? I'm four years YOUNGER than him.

    Also, my kids are three and one, so they're not old enough yet to tell me how out-of-it I am. I have at least three more years of grace.

    So you honestly think that because you are a measly 4 years younger then him, that he is old yet you are not?
    My husband is 46. I am 39. My husband is far from old. If you feel your husband is old at 45, I hate to say it, you need to add yourself to that bracket as well.

    I'm pretty sure she's joking. It's called sarcasm.
  • CookNLift
    CookNLift Posts: 3,660 Member
    honestly? he's a piece of garbage.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    DTMFA
  • CountryGirl8542
    CountryGirl8542 Posts: 449 Member
    Unhealthy relationships lead to weight gain! Dump his *kitten*... you deserve way more!
  • LBNOakland
    LBNOakland Posts: 379 Member
    Bump for the troll answers!

    What is a troll?

    Are trolls real people?

    Why would anyone want to troll a thread?

    What is hijacking a thread?

    Inquiring minds want to know!!
  • ebgbjo
    ebgbjo Posts: 821 Member
    Best way to lose over 100+lbs fast is to dump the jerk. What is it with the guys lately being posted on this forum who have no respect for the women they are with???
  • Ghomerzgirl
    Ghomerzgirl Posts: 67 Member
    Get rid of him! If he doesn't like what you look like then why is he with you? Love means loving the person whether they are super skinny or 600 pounds. My current boyfriend and I dated in high school, we were each other's first gf/bf but we broke up because his parents had a problem with our age. I was a freshman and he was a senior. The girls he dated after me where larger than I am, and he found that he does like women who are in his words more curvey. I am 30 pounds underweight. Yes he tells me that I am too skinny and need to gain weight, but not because he wants me bigger for looks, but for health reasons. I have many medical conditions that attribute to me being underweight and he knows that if i could gain the weight I would feel better about myself. That's what you need, someone who is supportive of you, not putting you down for ANY reason! From the sound of it, you are quite healthy, you eat healthy, you exercise, and that's not easy to do with a job like that, i've been there. I may not know you but am proud of you for making time in your busy life to eat healthy and exercise!

    Jenn
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    You are a little overweight. But that's a different issue than your boyfriend.

    My sister dated a guy in college who wouldn't date her until she lost weight (she started out about where you are - I never though of her as fat). She did - and looked fantastic. She also wound up with bulimia (not the fault of her sensible weight loss program, but true nonetheless.) He controller her eating. She worried if she gained weight she'd lose him. He could be obnoxious. My mom saw him walk across the room and take food out of her hand.

    We all worried that anyone who would only love you if you were thin was not a person you would want to be with for better or worse. This seemed shallow to all of us.

    They got married. It's been 30 years. She did gain weight eventually. He's good with that. I still don't like the controlling thing. I wouldn't have married him, but I didn't have to. She did.

    How do you like to be treated?
  • jkoenig1980
    jkoenig1980 Posts: 31 Member
    Conversation probably went like this.

    Girl: Do you think im over weight?
    BF: You got a few pounds to lose.
    Girl: You think im fat. I will go tell the world how big of a jerk you are.

    If he thought you were disgusting and fat he would leave you for a smaller girl.
  • Melissa_mojo
    Melissa_mojo Posts: 156 Member
    He's a POS dump him plenty of others out there your nuts if you stay with him!
  • deborahr59
    deborahr59 Posts: 11
    do you really want to stay with someone who thinks your fat at that weight! he must think im obese at 175!! no time for idiots like that you deserve better x:angry:
  • KarmaKills
    KarmaKills Posts: 99 Member
    No offense, but your boyfriend sounds like a complete jerk and something tells me you'll never be good enough for him. Dump him and find a man that loves you for who you are.
  • Mikej77
    Mikej77 Posts: 112
    As a guy, with a wife that I love, I cant imagine ever telling my wife that she is anything but perfect. If she says anything negative about herself I reply with, if you feel that way then do something about it. If someone friend, boyfriend, spouse, or what ever, tells you that you are out of shape in a derogatory way then I would suggest ignore them. People have zero right to judge and I do not see what makes them think they can. We should all support one another in a positive way. If someone feels good about how they look then that is thier God given right to feel that way. So my advice is to drop him, if he does not respect you for who you are. If you feel you could do more to better yourself then do it without him!
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
    My boyfriend thinks I am out of shape and chubby. I am 5'6" and weigh 140 pounds. At 145, he thinks I'm fat, and he can deal with it when I'm 135. Oh the things we do for love...

    Is this ok? I'm not sure whether to be upset about or agree with him. Its true i'm not at my most idea weight, but I eat healthy, do yoga all the time, and do the best I can with exercise for having a job that requires me to be sitting 9 hours a day.

    I used to be good with how I looked, but he really likes skinny girls and makes me feel like "I look good" is not as adequate as "I look like a sport's illustrated model."

    You can easily lose about 200 lbs by dumping his sorry butt. Don't ever let a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever tell you what you should weigh. That's between you, your doctor, and again, you. If he loves you, he'll accept you as you are, which at 5'6 and 145 is perfectly within normal ranges.
  • supermysza
    supermysza Posts: 167 Member
    If he's not making your life better then he's not worth being part of it. You deserve someone who will accept you for the way you like yourself. If you feel you should lose weight for your health (or any other reason that YOU want) that's a different story but don't let a guy change you!
  • amluvstld
    amluvstld Posts: 212
    Your boyfriend is an a-hole. It's his job to tell you you are beautiful, not tear you down. :noway:
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    Don't feed the trolls
    It's like T-ball. T it up and let the man bashing begin! It's obvious.
  • soupreem27
    soupreem27 Posts: 41 Member
    You're 5'6" and weigh 140lbs. That's a great weight for your height. Anyone that tells you that you're fat and they know that you're not fat, is only doing it to lower your self esteem. You should NEVER lose weight for anyone but yourself. You said "oh the things we do for love", but that's not love. Please get out of this relationship...it's not gonna get any better.
  • feelingreat90
    feelingreat90 Posts: 5
    Conversation probably went like this.

    Girl: Do you think im over weight?
    BF: You got a few pounds to lose.
    Girl: You think im fat. I will go tell the world how big of a jerk you are.

    If he thought you were disgusting and fat he would leave you for a smaller girl.

    I wish this was how it went because it would make this much easier to deal with if I was just being overly sensitive. Also, I don't think he is a jerk and am actually surprised by how many people jumped to that conclusion. I posted because I have been struggling to make him happy with my weight for 2 1/2 years. At one point I lost 15 lbs for him and he still just kept saying things like, "you could look really good, you have the frame for it."

    I am posting now because I used this website to lose the weight the first time, came back to it again because he has made so many comments lately about how I should be trying harder, and I am sad because i genuinely enjoy running, swimming, working out, but none of it is good enough. I am just getting to a low point and thought I would try to reach out for advice in a different way than I have before.
  • zipnguyen
    zipnguyen Posts: 990 Member
    My boyfriend thinks I am out of shape and chubby. I am 5'6" and weigh 140 pounds. At 145, he thinks I'm fat, and he can deal with it when I'm 135. Oh the things we do for love...

    Is this ok? I'm not sure whether to be upset about or agree with him. Its true i'm not at my most idea weight, but I eat healthy, do yoga all the time, and do the best I can with exercise for having a job that requires me to be sitting 9 hours a day.

    I used to be good with how I looked, but he really likes skinny girls and makes me feel like "I look good" is not as adequate as "I look like a sport's illustrated model."

    might want to tell him to "please go"
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Really? Because 145lbs for a 5'6" woman is considered in the healthy weight range. In fact up to 154lbs for a 5'6" woman is considered healthy. If you are healthy, he shouldn't have an issue if it's you that he loves. My hubby told me "as long as you are healthy, that's all that matters" and he's still all over me :tongue: . I am in the healthy range now, but, I am losing a little more weight for ME. No one else, because the acceptance of others isn't what matters to me.

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