Fat-positive Feminism and Weight Loss

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Replies

  • SrJoben
    SrJoben Posts: 484 Member
    Hello all,

    I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

    Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    calvin-expectations.jpg
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?


    You know the answer. ;)
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    So loving your body as it is makes you a feminist eh?

    By this definition the bald, 500 lb men wearing a barely noticeable underwear at the beach are all feminist.

    No, no, you have it wrong. Only women can use being a feminist as an excuse to be fat.

    Those guys are just fat men.

    /feminist rhetoric

    Sorry I live in Saudi Arabia. Feminism here means getting equal rights as men. I didn't knew feminism was so advanced in the west that it means being a fatass!!
  • laele75
    laele75 Posts: 283 Member
    So loving your body as it is makes you a feminist eh?

    By this definition the bald, 500 lb men wearing a barely noticeable underwear at the beach are all feminist.

    No, no, you have it wrong. Only women can use being a feminist as an excuse to be fat.

    Those guys are just fat men.

    /feminist rhetoric

    Sorry I live in Saudi Arabia. Feminism here means getting equal rights as men. I didn't knew feminism was so advanced in the west that it means being a fatass!!

    LMAO

    Yeah, you'd think. But apparently, feminism means 'women can justify any behavior or opinion because telling them they're wrong makes you a mysogynist.'

    I'm a woman and I think that's BS. Unfortunately, too many 'feminists' seem to believe this. It's incredibly sad.
  • verymissk
    verymissk Posts: 262 Member
    I haven't read all of the replies - honestly I doubt I want to. Look, being a feminist doesn't have anything to do with the Fat Acceptance movement, so go ahead and separate those two ideas in your mind right now. And while we're at it, let's really talk about the whole Fat Acceptance movement and what that actually means. Does ANYONE here actually think it's okay to be overweight? Because it shouldn't EVER be okay to be obese or to be so heavy you're putting undue stress on your joints and bones. It's okay to accept the fact that you may not be perfect, and you may have a long road ahead of you, but don't hide behind some faux-feel-good social movement that lets you *pretend* you don't care that you're fat, and that nobody else should care either.


    I'm obese. I've been fatter, too. And I've always loved WHO I AM, but I've never allowed my weight to define me as a person. I don't practice fat acceptance, and I don't allow my beliefs on equality force me to adhere to some feminist ideal of what I should or should not be or think.

    I'm not a feminist, I am an independent woman who believes in reasonable equality between the sexes.
    I'm a fat person that doesn't want to be fat, and isn't okay with being fat.

    Lose weight if you want to take care of yourself and look your best. Fight for fairness and equality if you believe that women deserve it. Don't worry about how to label that or what any special interest group says you should think and do some thinking for yourself.
  • JewelsinBigD
    JewelsinBigD Posts: 661 Member
    To stay fat because society wants you to be thin is so silly. If you want to stay fat because you want to stay fat - fine, it is a choice and one that I have made at several times in my life. I would never criticize anyone for making a choice on their body shape as long as they could live with the consequences of their decision. But you are no hero for staying fat because "thin is in".
    On the other hand- there are limits to how thin some people can get. I don't know if I will ever reach the "healthy" range from a textbook perspective- but I will certainly try even though it will take years...but I am getting healthier everyday and that is about as much acceptance as I can give today.
  • lua_
    lua_ Posts: 258 Member
    Your life does not have to be a socio-political statement.

    Think of it this way: it won't matter how fat positive you are when you die of an obesity related disease.

    It's also difficult to fight the feminist cause when you're dead.

    This.
  • bowlofpeaches
    bowlofpeaches Posts: 59 Member
    my whole thing is it's not about being fat for society it's about loving yourself and showing society that fat doesn't mean ugly, you can be fat and fabulous and have self esteem at the same time, but you shouldn't let it justify it, it's always good to lose weight to feel more healthy, but it's so stupid how the media says you need to be skinny to look fab :P notice all the crappy clothes they have in regular stores for fat people. that's not cool. fat people are always looked at as we're supposed to feel bad about ourselves and low self esteem that's how they portray us to be, but we shouldn't!! Because there's a lot of fat people out there that look beautiful they could be healthier but they still look fab no matter what don't let the weight define beauty or your self worth.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Hello all,

    I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

    Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

    Thanks for your thoughts!
    I don't think that remaining in a state (overweight) that will inevitably lead to serious joint problems later in life -- even if you experience no other health problems, you will experience that -- is loving yourself. It's self-destructive and denial.

    I think it's perfectly fine and important to love yourself and separate the physical appearance from who you are as a person, the really important things. But if you had a hole in your head, would you just say, "Well, I should love myself as I am, so I'm just going to leave it"?
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
    Well, I'm a feminist, and I'm positive that I'm fat. Does that count?

    ^^:laugh:
  • So, I'm planning on losing weight very fast. I need to lose up to 60 pounds till October 10th. Tomorrow, I will start a "pineapple diet" which means that every morning I will eat a little bit of fresh pineapple, around 2 pm i will eat a side salad with some chicken and then at 6pm i will eat my last meal which would be a pineapple. I hope that by the end of this month I will be able to lose 20 pounds. Who's with me??!!
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    Well. That got unpleasant quickly enough.
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
    I'm not "fat-positive"; I'm "body-positive". If you have a body, and it functions in a healthy manner, you're awesome. The shape is irrelevant. Fat positive implies that I'd prefer fat, which isn't true. I don't prefer anything except health, hence "body-positive".

    Body acceptance comes when we let go of the negative connotations associated with any weight (i.e. "Real women have curves", "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels", and the stupid bull**** that relies on putting up one body type by smashing down another.

    All bodies are awesome, because they do awesome things. End of story.
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
    I agree we should not allow our value as a human being to be based on our physical appearance, but that has NOTHING to do with the fact that being overweight is unhealthy AND FEELS TERRIBLE. For the "healthy at any size" people...sorry that's BS. I had several serious health conditions literally disappear when I began living a healthier lifestyle that focused on weight loss. You don't care what people think of your appearance? Dress however you want and do cartwheels down the street. Don't pretend being fat is an expression of your individuality.

    I hated feeling judged for being 300 pounds. But that was nothing compared to my lack of energy, my depression, the rashes under the folds of skin, my backaches, my troubled knees, the out of control menstrual cycle, my difficulty walking from one end of the mall to the other, my general feeling that I was carrying an extra person around with me...and my feeling that I was completely out of control. Most people, like me, get fat due to some kind of uncontrolled disordered eating, not because they decide it's reasonable to eat at a caloric surplus on a regular basis. A disease? I don't know about that, but a disorder? Yup. Definitely.
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    I'm not "fat-positive"; I'm "body-positive". If you have a body, and it functions in a healthy manner, you're awesome. The shape is irrelevant. Fat positive implies that I'd prefer fat, which isn't true. I don't prefer anything except health, hence "body-positive".

    Body acceptance comes when we let go of the negative connotations associated with any weight (i.e. "Real women have curves", "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels", and the stupid bull**** that relies on putting up one body type by smashing down another.

    All bodies are awesome, because they do awesome things. End of story.

    Ah, this! Very well put. :D
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    So, I'm planning on losing weight very fast. I need to lose up to 60 pounds till October 10th. Tomorrow, I will start a "pineapple diet" which means that every morning I will eat a little bit of fresh pineapple, around 2 pm i will eat a side salad with some chicken and then at 6pm i will eat my last meal which would be a pineapple. I hope that by the end of this month I will be able to lose 20 pounds. Who's with me??!!

    Please don't do that to yourself!! That is an extremely unhealthy diet.... and as for fast weight loss, what do you want... to lose fat quickly, or to lose fat and stay lean for the rest of your life?

    to lose fat, say goodbye to it forever, and stay lean for the rest of your life, set your goal to lose 1lb a week, and eat a healthy balanced diet, including all your favourite foods in moderation, just stick to your calorie goal each day. Do some kind of exercise you enjoy, and will stick to in the long term. It may take longer to lose weight like this, but if you're actually going to say goodbye to the fat forever, and be fit and lean forever... does it matter that it took you longer to get there? Highly restrictive diets that are lacking in nutrition (like this pineapple diet is) are impossible to stick to in the long term, and extremely unhealthy... they set you up for failure and gaining back all the weight again plus extra. Please don't do this to yourself.... the slow and steady way is much easier and more sustainable. Focus on the long term, i.e. staying lean for life.... not on how long it takes you to get there!! Please!!
  • slimrubybird
    slimrubybird Posts: 16 Member
    Oh my gosh....I love everything you just said in your two posts, YoBecca!
  • mimi337
    mimi337 Posts: 107 Member
    Indsylk - I am a total feminist and get your internal squabble but I am going suggest two things here on MFP that I think will bring you out of the mental arguments you're having and provide some new perspectives. The first is the Eat More To Weigh Less group. Fascinating and full of right-on men and women who have thrown off the shackles of the diet industry and are serious about taking good care of their bodies without starving to death. The second is any of the women's groups dedicated to HEAVY LIFTING. You might not want to conform to society's limited ideal of feminine beauty but wow, to be a woman who can pump iron?! That's a solid F-U to the system. I hope you consider getting strong instead of getting thin. MFP is a wonderfully diverse community of people and you need to take your time taking it all in. Okay, last thought: start lifting heavy and treat us all with an update!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    So, I'm planning on losing weight very fast. I need to lose up to 60 pounds till October 10th. Tomorrow, I will start a "pineapple diet" which means that every morning I will eat a little bit of fresh pineapple, around 2 pm i will eat a side salad with some chicken and then at 6pm i will eat my last meal which would be a pineapple. I hope that by the end of this month I will be able to lose 20 pounds. Who's with me??!!
    Good luck with that.
  • sstillwell
    sstillwell Posts: 20 Member
    I consider myself feminist and body positive. I don't believe that anyone should have their value as a person judged based on their weight, appearance, or ability. I have people I love in my life of all different sizes, and I accept and love them where they're at. However, I don't think it is incompatible to love/accept/don't judge someone where they are at, and also endorse a healthier lifestyle.

    I think it's important to love yourself and your body - but loving it invokes taking care of it. I don't want to body-shame anyone, including myself, but no one does themselves any favors by remaining unhealthy, making choices that will, in the long run, affect mobility and even life span. It's hard for men to "get" how much emotional and societal baggage women have about weight and their bodies,and I appreciate a lot of the affirming parts of the "fat positive" movement - but I also think it enables women to not have to heal the relationships they have with food or their bodies. If you're "perfectly fine" the way you are then you never have to change anything or understand why you overeat or overcome your fears of working out, and you never get to be amazed by watching yourself rise to a physical challenge and meet it. It seems like a bandaid to cover/redefine the situation, not a solution. And I think it may do as much harm as it does good.

    So, for me, I am body positive. I don't talk *kitten* about my body or anyone else's, I try not to judge myself, I challenge body shaming, and I take myself and others where they're at. But I also owe it to myself and my kids to make the most out of this one life I have, and this one body I have. And that means confronting my own issues with food, getting myself to a healthy weight, and getting myself active and strong.

    Amazingly good post...well stated!
  • historicaldeaths-615.jpg

    Obesity is the #1 killer in America, 2nd to Cancer. So yes, it is probably the worst disease you can have. There is no pill for it.
  • ghhosstt
    ghhosstt Posts: 112
    Hello all,

    I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

    Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    hey, absolutely. I believe the underlying message is self-acceptance, which doesn't have to mean complacency when it comes to your health. It just means loving yourself and wanting to take care of yourself to the best of your abilities. There is room in that for diet and exercise if it makes you feel good and improves your quality of life.
  • lndsylck
    lndsylck Posts: 9 Member
    Hello all,

    I'm writing to see if there are any other people out there who consider themselves fat positive but are still trying to lose weight. I consider myself a feminist and part of that is accepting and loving my body as it is, at any given time, so I'm finding it difficult to reconcile my desire to lose weight and be healthy and remaining fat-positive. I'm feeling like a hypocrite and wondering how much of my desire to loss weight comes from societal pressure to conform to a thinner silhouette.

    Any other fat-positive feminists out there? How are you dealing with this?

    Thanks for your thoughts!

    hey, absolutely. I believe the underlying message is self-acceptance, which doesn't have to mean complacency when it comes to your health. It just means loving yourself and wanting to take care of yourself to the best of your abilities. There is room in that for diet and exercise if it makes you feel good and improves your quality of life.

    Thank you, that's exactly the sort of feedback I was looking for
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    Just like being 320 pounds didn't make any valuable as a person, being 160 pounds won't make me any less valuable as a feminist.

    :flowerforyou:
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    I am trying to fight my natural urge to roll my eyes at someone declaring themselves a feminist. I am a humanist, I believe in empowering all people.

    Feminists do believe in empowering all people, but they focus on women because women historically have been disempowered and ignored. Similarly, blacks, gays, and other oppressed groups have focused on the unique struggles of their groups.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    Your life does not have to be a socio-political statement.

    The personal is political, to coin a phrase. Individual concerns frequently have to be articulated at the group level for anything to change.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    Is fat positive the same as the fat acceptance movement?

    I don't know, but that was my assumption. Obesity is a disease. "Fat positive" is an oxymoron. Would you say you're "cancer positive"? "MS positive"?

    At some point in America an idea took hold that everyone has to feel good about about herself or himself all the time, to the point where one is not only supposed to tolerate obesity, but argue it's a good thing. It's not.

    I'm offended that you compare obesity to cancer and MS. Those are legitimate diseases. Obesity is how much one weighs. Not a disease.


    Actually the AMA just recently categorized it as a disease.

    Obesity IS A DISEASE. And it also CAUSES disease. It is the WORST disease you can get.

    Thank you, it is considered a disease. It's a disease of overaccumulation of fat cells in the body. It may not be caused by overeating in all cases, but be the result of the way the body processes (or has learned to process) food. It's bad for an individual's health and it can be reversible.

    If you have cancer, you can temporarily accept yourself as having it. That doesn't mean you don't want to beat it in the long-term. It's going to kill you and severely impair you life before it succeeds.
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
    You can love your self and want to lose weight.
    I love myself.I'm awesome. My fiance loves me. But I want to be healthier, and being healthier means eating better etc etc. If I was fat looking but healthy bodied I wouldn't care. Its whats going on inside that matters to me.
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
    Fat acceptance advocate, feminist, and body posi person here. c:

    It is perfectly okay to be body positive and still want to lose weight! One of the core principles of body positivity is that it's your body to do with what you choose. If you want to be thinner, fatter, tattooed, pierced, etc., then go for it! As long as what you're doing is something that you truly want and something that is coming from a place of self-love, you're right on track with what body positivity teaches. :]
  • Big thanks to everyone, all of these posts are extremely helpful :)

    To me, being fat positive is about knowing what it means to be fat (or big, or overweight, or curvy, or whatever other adjective does it for you), including the negative health effects, and choosing to be that way anyway. I've recently been conceptualizing choosing to be fat as a way to "fight the power" so to speak, to challenge societal standards of beauty and femininity. However, I really do want to be healthy, and to feel physically comfortable in my own skin.

    I think instead of struggling with whether or not to lose weight I'll choose health and comfort over obsession with body weight and dress size.

    Thanks again everyone!

    Okay, I'm sorry, but I'm really not seeing how this is changing society for the better. You say you are "fighting the power" and "challenging standards". I do not think that it is POSITIVE in any way to focus on weight whatsoever. If you truly want to "fight" societies standards, do so by proving that being HEALTHY (as opposed to weighing a set amount) is a better way to live. There are "fat" people who are healthy. There are "skinny" people who are healthy. Every person's body is different, and everyone has their own ideal weight. "Fat-positive" is probably the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard. I am a strong believer in feminism, and I completely disagree with you on this.

    Stop trying to be skinny or fat. Try to be healthy in YOUR body's way.