GF issues w/ the gym/ fitness
Replies
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I've had two guys dump me because of my fitness goals and the fact that I'm training with my horse to ride in eventing and that I have to take care of my horse daily.
You need to decide what are deal breakers for you and stick with it. At the same time, although it doesn't sound like this, you also have to negotiate what's acceptable and not acceptable.
Some one telling me to not see my horse everyday or go workout, excepts for special occassions, is unacceptable to me. I will rearrange my schedule for dates, what not, but I will not drop the two things in the world that I look forward to most.
As for the drinking, my father is an alcoholic. She should be understanding of that and happy that you are trying to break the cycle.0 -
What's funny about this is that my boyfriend is VERY active and it only inspires me to want to enjoy active things with him more. If she has no interest in your hobby, or gets upset or has resentment for you doing this to better yourself.. then you don't need her. That's what it comes down to. It seems she has issues with insignificant things.0
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I don't have any issue with people who enjoy the gym or who eat properly.
What's with all the guys who look down on girls who don't go to the gym and don't eat 100% clean?
...
... see how that mentality can be turned around?0 -
She is uncomfortable with herself so she wants to bring you down.0
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I'm a dancer.
I'm a dedicated dancer who trains to dance.
NOTHING comes before dancing. NOTHING. Including my BF. I do not live with him- or even near him. But when he is here- if I have dance that day- too damn bad.
And he is surviving just fine with the quality time I DO make for him.
You're GF is wack- it's time to have a serious conversation about it. ESPECIALLY since you aren't even cutting in on "her time" I suspect it has more to do with the fact- as noted- she thinks you're either trolling the gym for more tail- or that you'll find someone better than her (odds are strong that you will since she's clearly an idiot and selfish)
I would get out now- if you think this is bad- wait till you are around each other 24/7- it doesn't go UP hill with marriage. Things that are issues only get worse as they compound. You never solve things long term like that.0 -
Not all girls- YOUR girl.
I love it when my husband comes home after a work out, all sweaty.
I like the fact he takes the time to do it-
1. It shows he cares about his health
2. It shows he takes pride in how he looks
3. It means he'll be around to put with me and my antics more
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My $.02: Forget women, acquire aesthetics. If she doesn't lift, she isn't girlfriend material. Find a hottie that lifts, ask her out. If it works, great. If she shoots you down, wait until you find another hottie that lifts to ask out. In the mean time, get shredded.0
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That's not girls... That's your girl.
This0 -
Start dating women instead of girls....0
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So I need advice / opinions, I figured why not post something here since I don’t know anyone on this thing in real life so here we go.
What’s up with you girls and not liking the fact that people who enjoy working out spend allot of time in the gym. Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately. You guys seem to love the results however you have an issue with the gym.
My current gf has “huge” issues with me working out….. realize I go to the gym in the morning (up around 4:30am arrive at 5:30-6:00am)so it does not affect our personal life or time together as we don’t even live together .I also don’t ever say “I have to go to bed have the gym in the morning”, I just go with lack of sleep instead. IE today I got 2 hours of sleep maybe 2.5hrs
My “weird eating habits”…. her and I are both have gluten allergies….Why is it weird that I eat 2 chicken breasts instead of 1?? I don’t get it…. Her whole family has this hang up and I don’t know where the heck it came from, I’m sure it has something to do with her saying something about gluten, but she has the same problem… idk.
The fact that I don’t drink alcohol even though I explained I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family(Fathers side) and that is my reasoning to never drinking. Like it makes sense, I don’t smoke crack either … maybe I should have some of that if it becomes socially acceptable ? I don’t care when or if she drinks … I could understand it if I made comments but I don’t give a ****. All my friends drink, I go to bars with them all the time … what’s the issue you get a free cab every weekend cause I don’t drink. . .
So yeah if you got around to reading all of that, I look forward to some opinions of some men who’ve been in the same situation and some woman who have an issue with this and why. To be clear I have asked her what her issue is with me being into fitness, nutrition and the human anatomy and she just says “I don’t know”, I’ve never preached it once to her or anyone. I actually hate the attention I get because of my weight loss, one day you’ll get there when for the 100000000 time someone asks you what “diet” are you on, when you just eat healthy.
Oh and make note… I don’t talk about what I do at the gym with her at all, it’s “did you go to the gym today?” Me: Yup…. Conversation changed to something else. I did not know her before when I was bigger, however she is aware of my weight loss, she has also lost 90lbs however she just changed eating habits and did a bit of spinning.
Thanks for reading,
Brad
Hahah. You're confused my friend. "You guys" should rightfully imply men and women. Seems you're dealing with a jealous girl. My bf has been going to the gym 7+ yrs, almost daily. I am completely okay with it. Instead of whining, why not become proactive:
Break it off
Gain her interest in joining you...she'll feel better about herself
And I'm sure you know, but you need to work on getting sleep. Mine goes to bed at 9 pm b/c he gets up just as early as you...if not earlier. She can't deal, why do you want to make yourself miserable?
Everybody, and I emphasize 'everybody' has tendencies to act ignorantly when they're confused/inexperienced/uneducated about any topic in life. Myself included.0 -
Sounds like you have a nitpicky one there, if she feels the need to comment on everything you do that she doesn't like, that tells me she would like to change you. And while compromise is a must to a certain degree, I'm thinking maybe you would be happier with someone a little less restrictive.0
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Just go gay and workout with you new bf.0
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Unfortunately, girls sometimes think that men who spend so much time in the gmy ( no matter what time you're there ) they some times think you are there to check out/hit on other girls and/or you're going to the gym to better yourself to the point where you'd leave her for someone "better' or "hotter"
These are the only few reason that I could come up with. She just sounds insecure and her answer of "I dont know" when you ask her why she disagrees with you going/eating better just reassures me that she's got her own hang ups.
I wish the best for you. No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship.0 -
That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
YUP!
My bf (we've been together almost 7 years) started going to the gym solo; I actually bought the membership for him! Eventually I signed up after I saw his progress. He actually motivated me to get in there and do some bench presses! If your woman isn't supporting you and you don't even want to SHARE some of your day with her tells me your relationship is a realtion****.
Talk it out, work it out, or move on.0 -
"What’s up with you girls and not liking...."
Stop dating the same type of girl. Because girls are not one unit controlled by one set of likes and dislikes, same goes for men.
If you find yourself dating girls who seem controlling and critical of your hobbies - ask yourself, why are you drawn to this type of person?0 -
she sounds totally insecure. you look amazing. good on you for taking such good care of yourself!! you should be damn proud.0
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Instead of asking MFP.....ask your girlfriend. In a non-accusatory way, have a discussion with her. There's always more to a story. And if she doesn't give you a reason, and continues to do it after you've come to an understanding.....find a new girlfriend.
And generalizing is a NO GO. I would kill for a man who liked to exercise, and better yet, exercise with me. Like other posters have said.....that's your girlfriend's issue, not the issue of all women.0 -
3) stop blaming "you girls" for the crap YOUR girl pulls
Word.
Wait, do people even use that anymore? Either, #3 speaks the truth0 -
Time to trade in. There are some nice 2014 models coming out.0
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Unfortunately, girls sometimes think that men who spend so much time in the gmy ( no matter what time you're there ) they some times think you are there to check out/hit on other girls and/or you're going to the gym to better yourself to the point where you'd leave her for someone "better' or "hotter"
These are the only few reason that I could come up with. She just sounds insecure and her answer of "I dont know" when you ask her why she disagrees with you going/eating better just reassures me that she's got her own hang ups.
I wish the best for you. No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship.
Actually, last girl I dated admitted this. She didn't want me to loose weight and get in shape because she had guys before that left her afterwards. But screw that, I was doing it for me. She didn't last. Not because of the gym, but because she bacame mormon and I am not going to date a chick in a cult. But I have a feeling the gym issue would have ended it anyway.0 -
Sounds like you just don't have anything in common and she's one of those people who thinks if it doesn't interest her, it's not worth anyone's time.
I don't know anything else about your relationship, but not all women are that way and I suspect most aren't.0 -
^That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
QFT
Yep. Except, maybe not the break up part. That's up to you.
But, seriously, men don't have the monopoly on fitness. I'm up every day at 5am to go kill it at CrossFit. And sometimes I run at night too. Generalizations are bad things...0 -
"You girls"? This is just YOUR girl.0
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Funny enough, my bf is the same way. He gives me crap about not eating enough and only wants me to work out with him (which is dumb because his form is off and he wants me to run 2 miles with a heart condition). But my mom was life your gf when my dad would go work out. I think my mom was jealous that my dad was getting healthy and my mom didn't have the willpower to help herself. Or maybe they have an issue with the meathead stereotype and think that the more you focus on health, the dumber you are. idk. I hope things work out for you.
Also, i get mad when my bf eats too much chicken, but that's because we can't afford to buy more and he doesn't care.0 -
So I need advice / opinions, I figured why not post something here since I don’t know anyone on this thing in real life so here we go.
What’s up with you girls and not liking the fact that people who enjoy working out spend allot of time in the gym. Like this is common amongst every girl I have seen lately. You guys seem to love the results however you have an issue with the gym.
My current gf has “huge” issues with me working out….. realize I go to the gym in the morning (up around 4:30am arrive at 5:30-6:00am)so it does not affect our personal life or time together as we don’t even live together .I also don’t ever say “I have to go to bed have the gym in the morning”, I just go with lack of sleep instead. IE today I got 2 hours of sleep maybe 2.5hrs
My “weird eating habits”…. her and I are both have gluten allergies….Why is it weird that I eat 2 chicken breasts instead of 1?? I don’t get it…. Her whole family has this hang up and I don’t know where the heck it came from, I’m sure it has something to do with her saying something about gluten, but she has the same problem… idk.
The fact that I don’t drink alcohol even though I explained I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family(Fathers side) and that is my reasoning to never drinking. Like it makes sense, I don’t smoke crack either … maybe I should have some of that if it becomes socially acceptable ? I don’t care when or if she drinks … I could understand it if I made comments but I don’t give a ****. All my friends drink, I go to bars with them all the time … what’s the issue you get a free cab every weekend cause I don’t drink. . .
So yeah if you got around to reading all of that, I look forward to some opinions of some men who’ve been in the same situation and some woman who have an issue with this and why. To be clear I have asked her what her issue is with me being into fitness, nutrition and the human anatomy and she just says “I don’t know”, I’ve never preached it once to her or anyone. I actually hate the attention I get because of my weight loss, one day you’ll get there when for the 100000000 time someone asks you what “diet” are you on, when you just eat healthy.
Oh and make note… I don’t talk about what I do at the gym with her at all, it’s “did you go to the gym today?” Me: Yup…. Conversation changed to something else. I did not know her before when I was bigger, however she is aware of my weight loss, she has also lost 90lbs however she just changed eating habits and did a bit of spinning.
Thanks for reading,
Brad
I've had these issues. The diet and the gym, save for the alcohol consumption. Including her family getting in on the comments. A blank stare that embodies the tone of the threat of stabbing them in the eye with the fork in your hand eliminates the comments from the family pretty quickly. You don't even have to say a word. With me it was even more frustrating considering her father has type II diabetes. So the thought of me taking an active approach to a healthy lifestyle and avoiding issues like high blood pressure, cholesterol, and diabetes should save me from receiving comments from the peanut gallery.
As for the girlfriend, I think she needs to accept your passion and devotion to your fitness. Otherwise, GTFO. I'm not sure how committed you are to her, but the relationship WILL NOT survive if she doesn't accept. In time she will grow to resent it and it will become a thorn on both your sides.
You: "Honey, I'm going to the gym."
Her through gritting teeth, "Oh yea, have fun...."
You saying to yourself: "Next time I'll keep it to myself..."
And through her resentment of the gym, it will metastasize to her resenting you!0 -
Seriously I can not believe out of everything that I just said, people are extrapolating a generalization.... and choosing to comment on that. Like wow give me a break already having a hard enough time as it is I don't need the negativity or trolling right now.
We aren't pointing out the generalization just to be d*cks. We're pointing it out because it's relevant to your situation. You act like you have no choice but to put up with someone who brings you down. That's BS. If she isn't supporting you in what you want to do, then kick her to the curb. Bye. If I know my bf is going to the gym in the morning, or work, or to play soccer, or whatever... I don't expect him to stay up late every night with me and then go on only 2 hours of sleep. That's ridiculous. I sure as heck wouldn't stay up for him all the time just to appease him. But, hey, I guess mutual respect isn't expected in all relationships...? :noway:0 -
To quote Ozzy:
Paranoia will destroy ya.
She is insecure, but it goes beyond that to paranoid and controlling. If you don't live together and she's giving you grief for eating 2 chicken breasts instead of 1, and she's getting snarky at the gym at 5:30 am routine, then she isn't the one for you.
I won't venture a guess as to what she's thinking or feeling, or why, but it is bringing you down. It's better to find out now than to have to divorce over it later. If she's controlling about things that don't impact her whatsoever, just imagine how it will be when you're under the same roof.0 -
In...
...for another round of inevitably solid relationship advice of the MFP forums.0 -
It sounds like she has BPD issues. If you don't know what that is look it up and keep your eyes open! If she does RUN!
No it doesn't sound like BPD issues. What criteria are your basing your hypothesized diagnosis on? Her jealousy? In that case, most girls have BPD.
OP: You said your girl lost 90 pounds. My bet is that she has "former fat girl" jealousy problems. Or, maybe she thinks that since she lost weight just by spinning and eating less that you shouldn't have to visit the gym every morning. She may not understand that men eat more than women- especially if they are weight lifters.
My advice is to just talk to her. Let her know that you love her and only go to the gym to get your workout- not to visit with the gym ladies. Let her know that her behavior bothers you.
The key to a lasting relationship is COMMUNICATION.
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If it were someone that truly cared about you she would love all things about you regardless.
If only they made more like you 0
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