GF issues w/ the gym/ fitness
Replies
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its obviously some underlining insecurities0
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You are holding up a shiny mirror and it is reflecting back all the negative things other people don't want to see.
People try to destroy what is beautiful if they feel they are not beautiful.
It looks like vast amounts of insecurity, and from her family's reaction, it looks like she got it from there.
If you want to salvage the relationship, I suggest helping to build her self-esteem. She may feel like she is playing out of her league by dating you, and is unconsciously sabotaging it. If so, her issue is not with they gym and fitness, it is you rising ever farther out of her reach (perceived or otherwise). This is a rather frequent issue for women who went through an "ugly-duckling" phase, and haven't figured out that they are pretty. Society has a really big hangup on women's physical beauty, and it causes crippling insecurities.
Best wishes to you both.0 -
totally agree with everything you said. i am a chick I work out religiously EVERY SINGLE DAY. I have a plan.
i LOVE my man to work out with me. I dont have to convince him or force him.
Its SO nice to be with someone supportive....0 -
Not a fan of the broad generalizations. Nobody talks me out of going to the gym. Take it or leave it. I'm with Casey on this one. I don't think i could be with someone that doesn't have similar goals as me because they just don't understand how important it is to me.
^^ this. i am just recently out of a 6 year relationship and learning this. i love the gym and could be there forever. i have been eating much healthier, etc. however he was into drinking, partying and eating whatever he wanted to (granted he never gained a pound and was already small). you both have to be somewhat on the same page or it will not work out (in my experience).0 -
If it were someone that truly cared about you she would love all things about you regardless.
If only they made more like you
There are lots of good girls out there like this, but not all of us look like a supermodel. And unfortunately a lot of guys out there would rather deal with crazy personalities but be banging said supermodel chick than get to know an awesome average looking girl.0 -
That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
QFT
it *was* my girl too though, not with the gym, I wasn't looking after myself then, but with everything, she was a controlling freak.
Sounds like you bagged one yaself mate, it will only end one way, get out sooner rather than later to save yourself some pain and hassle.
P.S. I just noticed your ticker:
GOOD WORK SIR, but i encourage you to surround yoursef with positivity, not nagging whiney controlling *****es.
This! I'd get out as fast as you can and find someone you're compatible with
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It doesn't have to be that way. I've been on my journey to weight loss for a few months now. I work early (I am not working out at 3:30am man) and therefore workout after work. My naturally slim husband (of 6yrs, together 8) who does not workout has never once complained. In fact, the opposite. I get asked, "Hey babe, want me to do anything while you're out, start dinner or something?"
This from a man who works full time and goes to school several nights a week.
Life is so sweet when you are with the right person, don't settle. :flowerforyou:0 -
The only people who have an issue with people who don't drink are those with drinking problems.
I stopped drunking over 30 years ago. That I don't drink has never been a problem for my wife. My wife is very sensitive to alcohol and so doesn't drink much at all.
This GF of yours sounds like a bit of a control freak, probably a little more than a dose of OCD. :bigsmile:0 -
To quote Ozzy:
Paranoia will destroy ya.
She is insecure, but it goes beyond that to paranoid and controlling. If you don't live together and she's giving you grief for eating 2 chicken breasts instead of 1, and she's getting snarky at the gym at 5:30 am routine, then she isn't the one for you.
I won't venture a guess as to what she's thinking or feeling, or why, but it is bringing you down. It's better to find out now than to have to divorce over it later. If she's controlling about things that don't impact her whatsoever, just imagine how it will be when you're under the same roof.
ALSO THIS0 -
If the last three women you've dated have been like this, I would look at what the common denominator may be bringing to the situation.
P.S. that's you."What’s up with you girls and not liking...."
Stop dating the same type of girl. Because girls are not one unit controlled by one set of likes and dislikes, same goes for men.
If you find yourself dating girls who seem controlling and critical of your hobbies - ask yourself, why are you drawn to this type of person?
Both of those. I'm kinda concerned at how you blame your gf for nitpicking, but you're kinda nitpicky yourself. I don't understand why her surprise at you eating two pieces of chicken is worth getting bothered over or even mentioning. Some of the stuff just sounds like a good old fashioned personality mismatch. Also, you gotta know that most people DO NOT have a firm grip on how addiction works. They've never gone into the psychology of it, so they don't know why someone would try and prevent themselves from becoming an alcoholic (for example) if they've never had a problem with drinking before.
Enough people have told you to stop generalizing that I don't need to mention it. You are clearly either picking a similar type of girl to date over and over again or you are creating your own problems. Figure out which it is.0 -
If you want to salvage the relationship, I suggest helping to build her self-esteem. She may feel like she is playing out of her league by dating you, and is unconsciously sabotaging it. If so, her issue is not with they gym and fitness, it is you rising ever farther out of her reach (perceived or otherwise). This is a rather frequent issue for women who went through an "ugly-duckling" phase, and haven't figured out that they are pretty. Society has a really big hangup on women's physical beauty, and it causes crippling insecurities.
Having a poor self-image is not an excuse to mistreat people.0 -
Sorry, I stopped reading after "you girls".... Not a fan of generalizations.0
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I have a membership that includes a guest. I was offering to take my wife (because I spend a lot of time there -- and that way we would at least be together). I finally got told "Are you trying to tell me that I need to go to the gym?" Noooooooo. But she doesnt mind either when I go.0
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My girlfriend was the same, HATES hearing about me talking about gym and the fact I gym most of the week etc... I told her I'm never going to stop, nothing will make me stop. It's what keeps me sane and gives me 'ME' time.
What else I have done is stopped mentioning gym, diet and fitness around her so much.. She probably just has no interest in it, but each to their own, I still love her, just keep gym etc to yourself maybe and she'll lay off 0 -
There are lots of good girls out there like this, but not all of us look like a supermodel. And unfortunately a lot of guys out there would rather deal with crazy personalities but be banging said supermodel chick than get to know an awesome average looking girl.
I'd love to see some example of these guy/supermodel couples. I've never even met supermodel, let alone banged one.
Where are they all???
They must be hiding from me. I don't blame them.0 -
If it were someone that truly cared about you she would love all things about you regardless.
This......
My husband works out 6 days a week..... When I know he is at the gym I txt him "kill it today baby" She obviously has insecurity issues and thinks by you taking care of yourself and looking good, you may not want to be with her....... There are men like this too. If she really cared, she would support you no matter what........
This is not all girls at all..... your girl however sounds like a different story.......
I say break up and KILL IT AT THE GYM!!! *fist bump***0 -
There are lots of good girls out there like this, but not all of us look like a supermodel. And unfortunately a lot of guys out there would rather deal with crazy personalities but be banging said supermodel chick than get to know an awesome average looking girl.
I'd love to see some example of these guy/supermodel couples. I've never even met supermodel, let alone banged one.
Where are they all???
They must be hiding from me. I don't blame them.
LMAO you made me lol dude.
I agree though, I want me a supermodel to "bang" lol0 -
She sounds awesome.0
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My husband works out 6 days a week..... When I know he is at the gym I txt him "kill it today baby" She obviously has insecurity issues and thinks by you taking care of yourself and looking good, you may not want to be with her....... There are men like this too. If she really cared, she would support you no matter what........
This is not all girls at all..... your girl however sounds like a different story.......
I say break up and KILL IT AT THE GYM!!! *fist bump***
Now THAT is the kind of woman you want OP!0 -
Why did you say, "You guys," when you are clearly talking about people not in this community?0
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That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
I totally agree. That is not a normal girls outlook but just your girlfriends. Maybe she is self-conscious and since she is not that big into working out she is mad that you have the motivation to go and she doesn't.0 -
Dump her and start "working out" with one of the smart women at the gym.0
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That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
I've got to admit I'm in this camp too. Sorry dude.
My husband doesn't work out nearly as much as I do, but he eats kind of the same and isn't bothered when we eat/do different things. If you're starting out this far apart on something like this, it's unlikely you'll grow closer on it. So you just have to decide if you can put up with it. Honestly, it may not be worth bothering. You did call her your "current girlfriend", no? Pick a new one.0 -
That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
^^ this0 -
Possibly see's it as a threat. That you might meet someone else etc..0
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There is a reason she is the GF....0
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If I were to speculate, I would guess that she feels guilty and ashamed of her own behavior, which is why she discourages yours.
I believe that most people know that they SHOULD go to the gym and workout, but they have a million excuses why they can't. When others prove all their excuses wrong by actually finding the time, motivation and discipline to go to the gym on a regular basis, it invalidates their excuses and makes them feel bad about themselves. Instead of finding those qualities in themselves, it's easier for them to discourage the person who is making them feel uncomfortable by demonstrating healthy behavior.
This is also true for couples who used to eat a lot of unhealthy food together -- when one starts eating healthy, the unhealthy partner is left to feel guilty and ashamed all alone. Misery loves company, and if someone else is doing "it" (whatever it may be), it makes it less shameful and more enjoyable.
I don't think this girl is 'the one" for you. It doesn't sound like she values your lifestyle choices. If you choose to stay with her, you'll constantly face her derision, or worse, she'll slowly erode all the progress you've made and you'll end up back where you were when you started -- unhealthy and miserable, but with a happier girlfriend. Keep looking until you find someone who supports the things that are important to you.0 -
Some people in general have issues when you dedicate your time and energy to a healthy lifestyle. From what you said it does not impact her time with you. I would be curious as to what she says when she gets upset with you. Here is a link to a blog on the way other people can negatively affect you... and how to disarm them.
http://muffin-topless.com/2013/06/20/howtodealwithnegativepeople/
Take Care and don't stop striving to be healthy.0 -
You need to find a girl that fits you macros :glasses:0
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That's not girls... That's your girl.
Just break up.
/thread.
Yep.0
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