is this abuse? I think it is!

*** waits for message in my inbox with a warning ***

You can take a horse to water but you can't make the horse drink... and the opposite applies...

Or you'd be arguing that for all cases where people die of illnesses because they won't take their medicine because they don't like the tase/side effects...but itll make them better...

It is a very difficult situation to be in and obviously we don't know how we would behave in those circumstances. My own feeling is that yes he has made the choice and is responsible for his own death - he knew the consequences. I have not watched the programme so I dont' know who was getting the food for him, I don't think in those circumstances I would get the food for him - I would get what he would need for health and life but not the quantity and kind of food that was killing him. If he got it himself then there is nothing to be done about that. Let's hope - all of us that we never find ourselves in that situation either as the vastly overweight person or the relative that has to provide care and let's not be too hasty to pass judgement on those who are.

For the record...here's a link to a story about him and his TLC special.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2329291/900lbs-desperate-lose-weight-New-documentary-follows-morbidly-obese-man-race-life-saving-surgery.html

And here are just a few quotes from the article:

Mrs Naputi too is feeling some guilt as she prepares a chicken dish in the kitchen.

'I know for a fact I'm going to get scolded,' she says. 'No matter how much I try, I always tend to give in to my husband. It's really hard! My husband wears the pants in this relationship you know.'

I don't know about you...but that sounds like someone who tried NOT to enable. And there are a lot of relationships still where the man "wears the pants" and makes the decisions and the women don't have much of a say in the matter. Obviously that's not the way it should be...but why are we demonizing his wife?

Mr Naputi was already morbidly obese when he met his wife, Cheryl. The couple have now been together for a decade

Yet more evidence to it being HIS fault.

What really gets me when we start talking about UK programmes, is the amount of people who jump on ship to slate the programme, without actually having seen it. They jump to conclusions based on the title or some minute detail, and think they know the whole story. Watch the programme first!

I just did, and all the doctors were actually putting alot of the blame onto his Wife, the one who was doing all his shopping/cooking/feeding/caring/cleaning. This man couldn't do anything for himself, so yes actually alot of it was her fault, in my opinion.
Still, the circumstances in which he 'died' were all too fishy if you ask me.

Nobody made me fat, I made myself fat!! :noway: I put the food in my mouth, their was no gun pointed at my head to make me eat the food!! Got to love it, it's everybody's else fault attitude society!! :mad:

You are aware that you put the food into your mouth and you were obviously aware that you were eating too much food. Not saying that this applies to the man in the documentary but there are causes of over eating where you do not recognize that you are over eating and there are cases where helpers stock cupboards with food and hold the key to those cupboards and are always present when they are opened so they can control the daily food consumption.

Ok that is an extreme example but it does happen.

Whether you believe the family and friends were enablers/abusers or not, I suspect they may have felt like they were when he died.

But how do you force someone to diet or even get checked out medically if they don't want to. I wonder if they go into detail on the documentary about how much help he was actually offered and turned down?

Nobody made me fat, I made myself fat!! :noway: I put the food in my mouth, their was no gun pointed at my head to make me eat the food!! Got to love it, it's everybody's else fault attitude society!! :mad:

You are aware that you put the food into your mouth and you were obviously aware that you were eating too much food. Not saying that this applies to the man in the documentary but there are causes of over eating where you do not recognize that you are over eating and there are cases where helpers stock cupboards with food and hold the key to those cupboards and are always present when they are opened so they can control the daily food consumption.

Ok that is an extreme example but it does happen.

Whether you believe the family and friends were enablers/abusers or not, I suspect they may have felt like they were when he died.

But how do you force someone to diet or even get checked out medically if they don't want to. I wonder if they go into detail on the documentary about how much help he was actually offered and turned down?

I dont know the numbers on this, but just from my experience I see a lot of people with mental handicaps who are obese. Specifically with downs My experience has been they have a very strong food drive and in certain institutional or group settings steps have to be made to prevent them from over eating.

PS-no idea about the mental capacity of this guy.

This kind of thing is exactly what's wrong with society...

It's not his fault...blame his family!
It's not his fault...blame mcdonalds!
It's not their fault...blame marilyn manson!

People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

this one wins! and OP, as a former cutter, still very much a masochist, and a proud one. I was the one that decided to cut. my parents didn't hand me the blade and say go nuts. It was my free will. I chose to do it. I can't wear sleeveless shirts or dresses, but that's MY fault. Not the people that make the blades, not my family that knew about it, mine. They are my battle scars. I've been through terrible ****, and I survived.

I haven't seen this show so can't comment on it. But in Canada, there are shows about addicts, hoarders, and others with all kinds of issues. I would say these programs are exploiting these people at the very least, and those of us who watch them are voyeuristic.

I know people say "but it's helpful to others" and I dont' know if that is true or not. I kind of doubt it. I think we watch them because its entertaining, and it makes us feel better about ourselves and our own problems - they seem so minor in comparison. Who wouldn't feel better about being 30 lbs overweight when seeing this poor man?

So abusive? I don't know. What is the line between exploitation and abuse?

This is a bit off topic, but I do watch shows about hoarders, addictions, etc. I think that part of it is for the "shock" value but also watching to see how the counselors handle these people. I have been so impressed at the patience, especially with the hoarders. Ex. " Jim, is it okay if we donate this article of clothing?," when the whole house is full of trash. The counselors encourage the hoarder to talk about what the article means to them, have them take a couple of deep breaths and then know when it is too much anxiety for the hoarder and ask them to stop. I just watch in amazement!

ON topic, I feel sorry for that man. Yes, he did have enablers---had to have them! At 900 pounds, he was out of breath with any small amount of movement. He wasn't walking to the refrigerator, you know. Someone was bringing him food. At some point, someone should have encouraged him to seek counseling, maybe when he was 400 pounds? At 650 +, he was probably no longer a candidate for gastric bypass--there is a point when some life saving choices are taken away, because he was at the point of no return.