At what age should you fly the nest?

Went to Uni at 18, I went home for 3 months at summer, and since then have spent a maximum of a week there at any one time. Getting out of my house was one of the main reasons I went to Uni, and the booze. And the sex.

As others have said, it depends on individual circumstances and where you live. I'm 28 and still live at home and certainly did not expect that to be the case by this age but it works well in our circumstances.

I live in the UK and the plan for both my sister and I was to live at home when we went to University. My mum has severe health problems so has never been able to work, my dad works very hard but we're a working class family so we didn't have a lot of money to spare, so our parents wouldn't have been able to offer any financial assistance for accommodation/bills if we moved out to go to University and they felt that they wanted us to focus on our studies than juggling full time work and full time study. Both of us worked part-time and that was non-negotiable. My parents didn't take any rent off us while we were at University because we weren't really making enough to make a huge difference to the household and instead, let us use it for our own social lives etc. My sister was always less sensible than me and drunk her money away or spent it on clothes where I tended to save mine.

I was one of the unlucky ones to graduate from Uni just as the recession hit. Even though I had loads of work experience, lots of voluntary experience and a pretty much flawless academic record, I couldn't get work. I was literally applying to EVERYTHING. Eventually I was offered a job working as a carer. It was full-time but low pay so moving out at that point wasn't an option as I wouldn't have been able to afford my own place and I couldn't get a second job to top up my income as the job I was in required a lot of flexibility in working hours and they could ask me at the last moment to change my shift etc., so it would have been pretty difficult to find a 2nd job that could work around that. I paid rent to my parents while working full-time.

After 9 months in that job and struggling to find other jobs and getting nowhere, I decided to go back to Uni to do my PhD. I discussed this extensively with my parents because again, it would mean staying at home. They were very supportive and so I'm now at the end of my PhD.

My plan had always been to finish the PhD and travel for work wherever I needed to go, so I'd be moving out at that point. Circumstances, however, have dictated otherwise. My mum has been really ill recently and needs a lot of care. We also have a pup who is technically my dog but my mum adores, so I'd feel quite bad taking the dog away from her if I moved elsewhere. So now the plan is to look for work locally so between my dad and I we can hopefully work around each other with shifts etc. so that there will always be someone there to care for mum. I'll be paying rent again once I'm working full-time again.

As it happens, my parents and I get on fabulously and all three of us are the types of people who love having a chat. My dad works weird shifts and can be away a week at a time and my mum would be really lonely herself, even if it wasn't for her care needs. Similarly, if I lived myself, I think I'd be a bit lonely not coming home to have someone to talk to and my dad is the biggest chatterer of us all, so the bigger his audience, the happier he is!

The long term plan, I think, is for me to get settled in a job and then let dad retire and I'll pay the bills and return the favour for everything he's done for me. That means we'll still all be living together but with me the one bringing home the bacon instead of dad. Everyone seems to be happy with that set up. I do feel a bit socially judged sometimes for still living at home but I guess I get on with my parents and they get on with me and we all relish the opportunity to spend time together, so that's a positive thing for us in our situation but I can see how that wouldn't work for most people.

When your parents tell you to P off

If you are 18 or older, as soon as you are financially able to. There is no point in staying with your parents after that (unless you need to take care of them). You need to grow up.

Also, if you go to college, live on campus if possible. It is a good way to transition to living without parents.

I moved out when I was 16. Went to high school in the morning, worked in the afternoons, played sports late afternoon/early evenings and took some college courses in the evening or worked. I graduated from high school early playing 5 varsity sports. Had 0 social life, but that was MY choice.

When my children finished High school (early ages 15/16 and 17) they went on to college. Neither of them lived at home while in school, but did stay with us during the school breaks. They earned their way through school and needed little to no assistence. They are both now well employed and own their own houses.

Would I reccommend this to everyone NO. But I do not beleive that children (in the U.S.A.) should not be living with their parents if they are out of school. I have yet to see a news paper where the help wanted section was empty.

Just saying....

My son just turned 19...he graduated college with a great trade and can't find a job in his trade. I wont kick him out unless he becomes a jerk faced ***hole.

I hope he is out soonish tho because that means he has a job and is moving forward in his life..right now he seems to be stuck at that tween stage...wanting to be back in school because no stress and wanting to grow up and leave home but can't because no job...

What do you do...

I personally left at 19...joined the military to just get out...moved back when the aforementioned son was born for a bit but not for long....

If the kid does not go off to college after high school, they have one year. In that one year they should be able to gather enough finances to move out. Either way, one year and out. If they go off to higher education, then staying at home is not an issue. During that one year of course we dont charge rent or food. They are responsible to maintain a full time job and required to save 80% of their paycheck. Any big ticket purchase and they are out.

I'm 29 and live at home, I also work full time and go to school, and could give zero f*cks.

I work full time too and go to school AND raise a family. I dont think the "i'm working and going to school" excuse is valid. Most people are doing the same thing, while supporting themselves. I would say at almost 30, you are probably overstaying your welcome.

I most def am, but at the same time it's not an issue in my house. Do people judge me for it? yeah sure, but I have thick enough skin and other things to worry about in life that actually matter. Being in a relationship with someone who also lives at home because of their own financial difficulties gives me really no reason to move out at this point and time. Whats the point of paying 700 a month to live by myself. Until my current situation is unpleasant for both parties, or my girl is ready to make that move then why waste the money? I also have no urge in participating in other society norms as far as starting a family or getting married unless it's for health care reasons (a view she shares.) So, maybe my line of thinking is different then others.

I moved out when I was 18 and back in when I was 23 because of a divorce and incredible financial strain. I'm 26 now and my parents are not rushing me to move out. My sister just moved out and she's 28. I don't have as much financial strain right now, but I'm still not in a totally stable situation (the job market is super slow and competitive for my trade, but and I'm not sure whether or not I want to go on to get my MA), so I'm kind of just floating around until I finally snag a permanent job and / or my boyfriend and I start talking about living with each other. It was always a thing with my parents that they understand how hard it can be to keep yourself afloat, but I have my own goal of being moved out in the next year or two.