Quite Frankly I'm Stumped...

Ugh. My boyfriend is the same way. He doesn't even workout everyday! Damn that man for taking me out to nice dinners and introducing me to the best ice cream in Denver. (insert eyeroll here)

I make my own decisions. I have gained a few pounds since we've been together but that is ALL MY FAULT. He is fully aware of my goals and I have every opportunity to make wise decisions. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. It's not his problem. He is who he is and I do not expect him to change because I have goals. He's a good man and I would never sacrifice our relationship because I am obsessed about my fitness.

It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

At my house there is a gal of ice cream, 2 boxes of cookies, Reece's minis in the fridge and BBQ chips at any given moment. I do the grocery shopping so yes I am the one buying them but they are in the house for my DH and 2 boys.

It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

I do indulge when I want to but I do so within my cals. I do not blame my DH for enjoying snacks or my kind for not wanting to eat carrots and apples all the time. They are healthy.

It is your choice what you put in your mouth.

Sometimes you have no choice.

I actually have a pretty similar situation, I started dating my fiancee 3 years ago and I put on 40 lbs since we have been together. He eats crap and likes it that way but I decided about 2 years ago I want to be healther. He manages to still stay a decent weight despite his eating habits, there are lots of reasons why so not really the point I am heading towards. He has always been really supportive of me though, so he is supportive of this since it is what I want. We just kind of have an agreement that I want to eat a certain way and he does not, so I take care of myself and he takes care of himself. Sometimes that means I cook dinner for me and he goes and get something from a restaurant (he is too picky to eat pretty much anything I do anymore). I am lucky since he will exercise and that is something we can do together so that is not a struggle like food is.

The bottum line of dieting I think is that you have to do it for you, so if thats what you want you need to decide to stick to it for yourself and hopefully he will support you, but its also not fair to expect him to follow suit if thats not what he wants for himself. Most couples have parts of their life where they just have to agree to disagree and figure out a way to handle it, sounds like this is yalls area.

Some strategies that work for us:
1. plan out menue options before you go out to eat, restaurants are getting better too at having a diet friendly menue so just tell yourself that the only one you get to look at, if you really need to steal a bite of two of his yummy stuff, its still better than eating the whole thing
2. I tell my fiancee all the time, dinner is at xyz time and I am cooking whatever, he will show up and either eat what I cook or have a carryout bag, either way we get to have dinner together but each eat what we want
3. Make sure you eat really healthy when he is not around to distract you - I assume you eat breakfast and lunch on your own at work or whatever, then slip ups later are on a better foundation for the day
4. Tell him to keep his bad stuff in his own space, my guy keeps his bad stuff in his office in our house where I don't see it and wont grab it for a snack

If he likes taking you out maybe suggest other places to take you than for meals out? The theatre, cinema, bowling, art galleries, museums, concerts, comedy nights etc - maybe if you socialised together away from food it would help. Ultimately though there is always going to be temptation and you just have to be strong, it's fine to have an indulgence every now and then but not if it's costing you your health.

The part of this that's interesting is how we as a culture have become more comfortable putting expectations on girlfriends and boyfriends as if they are husbands and wives.

They aren't.

The whole point of not getting married is to lower the commitment and expectation level.

All I gotta say is you're an adult. He's an adult. You both can eat whatever you want. YOU make decisions to eat or not eat certain things. You decide for yourself at the restaurant. So if you want to lose weight and you want to eat like that, then you'll start working out a lot more or you'll make healthier choices. But when you want it enough you'll do it. It really is that simple.

It's your decision.

They can make their own nachos and cheese. Why are you the one being made to do these things? If he wants it, let him get it. If you want to be healthy you will be. You need to remove yourself from the bad things. You just have to mentally prepare yourself with the willpower to avoid temptation. It's hard. But if you want it bad enough, then, and only then, will this work for you. Otherwise, you're not ready. My boyfriend weighs less than I do. He can eat whatever he wants and not gain weight. He's athletic. I have to watch it. When you are watching what you are eating, allow yourself *little* cheats here and there, but stay on course. It gets easier as you go.