my husband isn't supportive...

You don't need him to know you are determined. You need him to know that you don't like being talked down to, and that you will not tolerate it. I'm *not* saying "break up," and I'm not saying the relationship isn't a two way street; we know very little about it except what you said in this post. Let him know you don't appreciate being put down. If you are putting him down or being negative to him too, stop it and ask him if the two of you can work on that together.

Do it for yourself, by yourself. Maybe he'll be more supportive once he sees you stick with it, maybe it'll get worse. But if you're doing it for you, it won't matter. Your body, your choice.

My husband has been supportive but he's also become a little bit insecure. I've had several friends lose a lot of weight & leave their husbands for other guys. He flat told me I better not leave him....well I got him like I was.....you fill in the blanks. BUT he's never talked down to me, loves me the way I am. Could insecurity be part of the issue? And make some friends on here. The support here is phenomenal! :flowerforyou:

Unfortunately you are going to come across people who aren't as supportive as they can be. And his attitude really is horrible but it does seem to stem from his own insecurities and fears and is really a reflection on him.

In all honesty, to do this and succeed and keep it off you're going to need to rise above the nonsense from anyone you come across and just do it for you and focus on that. There will always be haters. But it is you that will have the last laugh when you succeed despite their efforts to derail you.

You CAN do this. You came here because you want it. Take baby steps. Take it a day or week at a time....educate yourself on food and metabolism,etc. Stop thinking about the bigger picture so much and focus on small, healthy losses. They will add up fast. And most of all, know that you can develop the confidence you need to never doubt yourself again, no matter what others say and do.

:flowerforyou:

So, I just started working out and eating better 4 days ago.. any time I talk about it to my husband he says "why are you trying me this? You're not going to lose any weight..." or says he gives it knew week... or I won't go back after my rest day... or that we're wastefully spending our money on the gym.. just a bunch of mean ****..

It's hard being motivated when he acts this way. How do I get him to realize I'm determined?

This really hurts my feelings more than anything.. I'm a pretty girl.. I just want the body to complete it.. I don't like being put down this way.

Sorry.. just venting.

The charitable view would be that he's trying to instigate anger, not depression - and is hoping to inspire (ignite) you into proving him wrong.

the uncharitable view would be that you married a total c**nt and it's time to stop letting your emotions be dragged around by the rotten stuff that comes out of his mouth. That's HIS soul he's showing you, not yours.

the even more uncharitable view would be that you've done this many times before and he's jaded.

Either way the answer is the same.

1. don't tell him about it. Don't talk to him about it, don't discuss it. I would never tell a man I was dieting anyway. it never works.
2. carry on doing it.
3. prove him wrong.

Editing: your'e 23. That means he's probably around that age too. Don't take that stuff seriously. If he was forty and saying it that'd be a big deal, but men in their 20's talk all sorts of crap.

Just ignore it. do what you decide to do.

You don't need to force your new healthy lifestyle on him or talk to him about it at all. Just do what you have to do to see results and maybe he will come around?

That's abuse in my book. Use his negativity as fuel, and get your revenge by getting your body back! Don't let it hurt you, just prove to him that he's an *kitten*!!!

If I were you, I'd try to flip around my attitude toward his negativity and have it spur me on to success rather than tear me down. Just decide you're not going to let it get under your skin, don't react, and let the results speak for themselves. It sounds like he may be worried how you'll view him if you get into great shape.

Bingo!

Your profile says you've been married 5 years and have always been a big girl. Do you have a history of good intentions to lose weight that fall to the wayside after a while? If so, while his words aren't the most tactful, they are somewhat understandable.

I seriously cannot wrap my head around some people. I say show him this discussion then go about your kicking *kitten* and getting fit!

I would say that your husband needs to be reminded about how lucky he is to be married to you.

That is the problem with most guys. They are not smart enough to be able to appreciate the fact that they are married to a woman.

So, I just started working out and eating better 4 days ago.. any time I talk about it to my husband he says "why are you trying me this? You're not going to lose any weight..." or says he gives it knew week... or I won't go back after my rest day... or that we're wastefully spending our money on the gym.. just a bunch of mean ****..

It's hard being motivated when he acts this way. How do I get him to realize I'm determined?

This really hurts my feelings more than anything.. I'm a pretty girl.. I just want the body to complete it.. I don't like being put down this way.

Sorry.. just venting.

The charitable view would be that he's trying to instigate anger, not depression - and is hoping to inspire (ignite) you into proving him wrong.

the uncharitable view would be that you married a total c**nt and it's time to stop letting your emotions be dragged around by the rotten stuff that comes out of his mouth. That's HIS soul he's showing you, not yours.

the even more uncharitable view would be that you've done this many times before and he's jaded.

Either way the answer is the same.

1. don't tell him about it. Don't talk to him about it, don't discuss it. I would never tell a man I was dieting anyway. it never works.
2. carry on doing it.
3. prove him wrong.

Editing: your'e 23. That means he's probably around that age too. Don't take that stuff seriously. If he was forty and saying it that'd be a big deal, but men in their 20's talk all sorts of crap.

Just ignore it. do what you decide to do.

I can't say it better than this.

You can do this with or without his support. Stick with it and prove him wrong. Best wishes.

If I were you, I'd try to flip around my attitude toward his negativity and have it spur me on to success rather than tear me down. Just decide you're not going to let it get under your skin, don't react, and let the results speak for themselves. It sounds like he may be worried how you'll view him if you get into great shape.

Bingo!

Yep!

Stop talking to him about it, just do it. Take his words and turn the into determination to prove he is wrong. Once you've proven him wrong, let him apologize to you.

Your profile says you've been married 5 years and have always been a big girl. Do you have a history of good intentions to lose weight that fall to the wayside after a while? If so, while his words aren't the most tactful, they are somewhat understandable.

Are you serious? SMH.........Go get drunk and act dumb with her husband.

While I've not experienced this in my marriage I have had a close friend start every fad diet/pill out there. She never stuck with any of them. Would I say anything negative to her? No (well, the pills, yes). But I can see how close proximity with someone who repeats certain behaviors might let their incredulity get the better of them and say something unkind. That is why I asked for clarification. To equate that with abuse is overboard, IMO.

But super sweet, well thought out response on your part. :drinker:

It has been 4 days. Maybe you have done this before and not followed through? If you stick to it, he will realise that you're serious.

Careful. That kind of mildly worded logical response instead of an emotional jump to abuse/*kitten* will have people jumping all over you. :laugh: