Do not eat sandwiches

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  • FizikallyFit
    FizikallyFit Posts: 180 Member
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    5314975_1.jpg?v=8C7876609D6CC90

    look at that oh so innocent advertising, surely these sandwiches are not so bad.....
  • hannahpistolas
    hannahpistolas Posts: 290 Member
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    IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE GOV'MENT SHUTDOWN.
  • hannahpistolas
    hannahpistolas Posts: 290 Member
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    5314975_1.jpg?v=8C7876609D6CC90

    look at that oh so innocent advertising, surely these sandwiches are not so bad.....

    Judging by the handwriting on the box, I'mma just go out on a limb and say their "steak" is probably filet of feline.

    ANOTHER TRICK.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    5314975_1.jpg?v=8C7876609D6CC90

    look at that oh so innocent advertising, surely these sandwiches are not so bad.....

    IT IS A CLOWN PUSHING SANDWICHES!!! WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN! *hyperventilates*
  • Pikey13A
    Pikey13A Posts: 49
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    Today at a meeting of the Sandwich Industry Council of Knowledge, the council president the Earl of Sandwich made the ludicrous claim that there was no scientifically accepted link between the consumption of sandwiches and progeria.

    Bro-Scientists have shown in study after study that any food not consumed as an admixture in water from a shaker cup causes illness.

    The Earl's claims are as ludicrous as the Lard Council's attempts to show that eating whale blubber did not contribute to obesity amongst the Makah tribe of Washington State.

    How many times will misdirection, obfuscation and butter smeared blather be used by these bodies to defend their corporate sandwich interests.

    A. Hippy
  • NetmanNH
    NetmanNH Posts: 39
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    Not sure if the author of this post is a troll or just dumb. :noway:

    Theoretically, if you couldn't tell, the intellectual failure might lie elsewhere.

    hehe so true :-)
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    5314975_1.jpg?v=8C7876609D6CC90

    look at that oh so innocent advertising, surely these sandwiches are not so bad.....

    IT IS A CLOWN PUSHING SANDWICHES!!! WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN! *hyperventilates*

    The madness must stop. Educate children now about the dangers of sandwich use. They will be under a lot of peer pressure to try sandwiches. You must be vigilant
  • kmorales_4
    kmorales_4 Posts: 208 Member
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    Can I just clarify please?

    You are talking about SANDWICHES? Yes?

    So ... sarnies and sammiges are OK?

    :wink: :flowerforyou: :drinker:

    Love your humor. LOL
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Today at a meeting of the Sandwich Industry Council of Knowledge, the council president the Earl of Sandwich made the ludicrous claim that there was no scientifically accepted link between the consumption of sandwiches and progeria.

    Bro-Scientists have shown in study after study that any food not consumed as an admixture in water from a shaker cup causes illness.

    The Earl's claims are as ludicrous as the Lard Council's attempts to show that eating whale blubber did not contribute to obesity amongst the Makah tribe of Washington State.

    How many times will misdirection, obfuscation and butter smeared blather be used by these bodies to defend their corporate sandwich interests.

    A. Hippy

    It is heartening to know that there are still branches of the media interested in TRUTH. Thank you A. Hippy for your journalistic integrity!
  • carmenmiranda1
    carmenmiranda1 Posts: 21 Member
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    Wake UP Amerikkka! There is NOTHING OK about sandwiches! In Leviticus, it clearly stated that mixing bread and meats was an abomination, and that meat should not be unequally yoked together with grains.

    Mixing meat and bread with the occasional addition of salad, cheeses, and condiments is the single greatest contributor to the breakdown of the traditional family and traditional family values.

    Why, the other day, I saw a CHILD no older than SEVEN being given a sandwich like it was the most natural thing in the world!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Wake UP Amerikkka! There is NOTHING OK about sandwiches! In Leviticus, it clearly stated that mixing bread and meats was an abomination, and that meat should not be unequally yoked together with grains.

    Mixing meat and bread with the occasional addition of salad, cheeses, and condiments is the single greatest contributor to the breakdown of the traditional family and traditional family values.

    Why, the other day, I saw a CHILD no older than SEVEN being given a sandwich like it was the most natural thing in the world!

    Heresy!!

    Mutant 2:11- 'and bread shall not lie with other bread, and a filling shalt not lie betwixt them'
  • Pikey13A
    Pikey13A Posts: 49
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    Further investigation of the president of SICK the Earl of Sandwich has brought to light the following shocking information:

    1. The Earl claims to have invented the sandwich (what wholesome food requires invention);

    2. The Earl indicated that his so called invention enabled him to remain at table whilst playing cards (sandwich industry intimately linked to gambling industry); and

    3. Sandwich Corp, under the control of the Earl as majority share-holder has been patent-trolling. Based on this claim of invention Sandwich Corp has launched suit after against any and all foods containing bread or that are routinely used as sandwich ingredients (can you afford a license fee to eat delicious bacon?).

    As the Earl's scandolous behaviour is exposed to clean non-iradiating flourescent light, how long can the authorities ignore this super-villain.

    A. Hippy
  • Pikey13A
    Pikey13A Posts: 49
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    Wake UP Amerikkka! There is NOTHING OK about sandwiches! In Leviticus, it clearly stated that mixing bread and meats was an abomination, and that meat should not be unequally yoked together with grains.

    Mixing meat and bread with the occasional addition of salad, cheeses, and condiments is the single greatest contributor to the breakdown of the traditional family and traditional family values.

    Why, the other day, I saw a CHILD no older than SEVEN being given a sandwich like it was the most natural thing in the world!


    Mint Flavoured Gold dust :)
  • kell2116
    kell2116 Posts: 77 Member
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    Can I just clarify please?

    You are talking about SANDWICHES? Yes?

    So ... sarnies and sammiges are OK?

    :wink: :flowerforyou: :drinker:

    Mmmmm I love me a sammich yes I do
  • Timothy1962
    Timothy1962 Posts: 161
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    Holy tofu insanity, Batman!!!! We have to stop this Earl of Sandwich before the Sandwich Industry Council of Knowledge pollutes the world with their insane agenda to take over Gotham City and the world!!!!!!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    I think I have a plan.

    Lets all glue ourselves together and form a single giant human transformer. Then we storm SandwichCorp!
  • Pikey13A
    Pikey13A Posts: 49
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    Holy tofu insanity, Batman!!!! We have to stop this Earl of Sandwich before the Sandwich Industry Council of Knowledge pollutes the world with their insane agenda to take over Gotham City and the world!!!!!!


    Kapow: you are entirely correct. Soon this mad-man will be consuming even bats between two slices of whole-grain poison.
  • Pikey13A
    Pikey13A Posts: 49
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    I think I have a plan.

    Lets all glue ourselves together and form a single giant human transformer. Then we storm SandwichCorp!


    Can it be Voltron?
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    Ok I bet I will get hate for this from people who are willing to put any old junk in their bodies but its important to get the word out there.

    DO NOT EAT SANDWICHES!

    Sandwiches are NOT natural. They do not occur naturally! Why would you eat something put together in a 'food lab' by a 'gastronomer'? Why would you put something that has been cobbled together in sterile conditions like some sort of Frankenstein's monster?

    Not to mention some of the individual components of sandwiches. Do you even know what 'Creme Fraiche' or 'Fluer de Sel' means in English? If you don't recognise it your body won't either!

    Many of the things these 'gastronomical scientists' add products to sandwiches that have been treated with Dihydrogen Monoxide during their creation process. Tomatoes, for example are created by being surrounded by large amounts of nitrogen, boron, chlorine, molybdenum, magnesium and more chemicals! Then they are routinely sprayed with large amounts of Dihydrogen Monoxide and nourished with carbon dioxide and RADIATION!

    Adding to that, many other components are treated with MORE Dihydrogen Monoxide! It's state is altered by the food scientist via a process called "washing" this is almost always done to lettuce!

    So PLEASE think about what you will put in your mouth! Did you know that eating sandwiches will even cause your body to profuse chemicals???? Once you eat a sandwich your body will start releasing things like Trypipsinogen and Carboxypeptidase? Do these sound safe to you? Do you want to walk around leaking chemicals like some sort of defunct nuclear reactor?!

    THINK BEFORE YOU EAT!

    Is there anything we can eat nowadays without people telling us it is bad for us.

    Going back to eating my salmon sandwiches or cheese sandwiches daily, like I have done for years. Why? because it is in my packed lunch.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    That depends entirely on Voltron Forces official position on sandwiches

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