Do you leash your kid?

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Replies

  • babyblues4
    babyblues4 Posts: 241 Member
    I had to harness only one of my children. He was a runner regardless of what you said or did, as soon has his feet hit the pavement he was running. I had 3 children at the time all under the age of 4, my youngest was 3mths old. We were at an Island theme park standing on the waters edge feeding the ducks.. Out of the blue my 2yr ran off ... with me chasing him with an infant in my arms. Anytime I reached out to grab him he swerved in a different direction until finally he ended up running straight into the water. I was able to grab onto the waist of his shorts, but he was V shaped with head and feet in the water. WIth an 3 mth old in my arms I couldn't jump in and I didn't have the balance or strength to pull him out .... You don't know fear until your childs life is balanced in your hands.... Anyway, some complete stranger jumped in and pulled him out. So ya, after that he wore a wrist harness everywhere we went. That day, his life, his 4 yr old brother (that was left standing alone by the water) were put in jeopardy and never again would I put my children in that situation. Once he got older he stopped running off and we didn't use the harness anymore.

    So, no, I don't judge parents for knowing what each of their childs disposition is like and doing what they can to keep them safe.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    We call them reins in England and quite a lot of people use them. I guess we walk more generally over here anyway! Call me fat and lazy all you like.....
  • hopefaithlove24
    hopefaithlove24 Posts: 454 Member
    I was leashed when I was younger, I always wanted to run away and go to the water to feed the ducks so I'm very thankful to my parents for leashing me or I'd prob have drowned!
  • Beckboo0912
    Beckboo0912 Posts: 447 Member
    I think to each their own, some people feel it's needed and I agree but others don't think it is...you can't judge someone on their parenting skills to a point. I didn't use one for my son (although I"ve thought about it.) everytime I think about it I always picture in my mind my uncle who was leashed when he was little getting down on all fours and acting like a dog, including peeing with one leg up, and realize this would be my son. So I don't because he is also pretty good at listening.
  • SweetJoanne
    SweetJoanne Posts: 106 Member
    growing up in England it was a natural thing to put young children on reigns, only if you were out somewhere, it really worked they stayed by your side and were kept safe. I saw nothing wrong in this, nowadays there are so many crazy people out there better to be safe than sorry
  • Spaghetti_Bender
    Spaghetti_Bender Posts: 509 Member
    When my kids were toddlers she mentioned getting a leash..........and i said NO WAY! But that's me....
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  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    Working in the ER, I wish some parents had leashed their kids. They can slip away for just a moment, a blink of an eye, and tragedy can strike. Dont judge.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    :yawn:

    I don't judge other parents. At least ones that I do not know. I'd rather trust that they know their children well enough to understand how to keep them safe.
  • jeffd247
    jeffd247 Posts: 319 Member
    I don't agree with putting children on a leash.

    If the environment is such that it is appropriate and safe for the child to wander a little bit and explore (i.e. a park), then let the child do that and be prepared to chase them around a little bit.

    If the environment is such that it is not appropriate or safe for the child to wander (i.e. a parking lot), then they need to learn that they should stick close to you.

    I remember times in a parking lot, or on the sidewalk of a busy street when it was not safe for my children to walk alone. If they refused to hold my hand, I held their wrist. If they tried to wriggle out, I picked them up. If they fought me on it, they got disciplined.

    I try to set boundaries for my children.

    In my opinion, putting a child on a leash removes those boundaries. It allows a child too much space and/or freedom when it is clearly not appropriate or safe for them to move around freely. I think it is healthy and responsible to raise my children with defined boundaries and clear expectations for behavior. Those boundaries and expectations will increase as they age and move into society.
  • alliemarie77
    alliemarie77 Posts: 378 Member
    I don't care what other people do. To each their own. I however never leashed my kids. They either held my hand, or the tail of my shirt. I taught them about not running away, and not to go with strangers.
    I did good considering I never lost them, and they are still alive today...lol they are 18, 16, & 14. (-;
  • verdemujer
    verdemujer Posts: 1,397 Member
    When you have two hands to hold onto at the same time, you damn well bet I leashed them (twins). I mostly leashed them in places like the airport or the zoo or a carnvel; someplace where it was easy to have one slip away in the crowd and disappear. This stopped as they grew older. The last time I leashed one of my girls, she was 4 and pissed off to be leashed. But I told her that if she didn't obey the rules of staying with us and coming when called, then leashing was my option for her safety. My single son, I leashed him maybe twice because it was much easier to keep track of a single kid. But still, the leash was used when it was a situation where I felt his safety was way more important then the dirty looks I got from other adults. By the way, the girls' dad hated the leashes until he traveled with them by himself. He wasn't in the airport five minutes with one going one way and the other going the opposite and his hands were full of all their and his junk. If they hadn't been leashed to him, they would have been gone in three minutes flat.

    My mom leashed me in 1965 - a true dog leash since there wasn't anything else to use. She had no choice. I was super strong as a toddler and loved to run off and hide. They shut down an entire department store once. They found me after 30 minutes playing inside the clothes racks. I had no concept of stranger danger and would have gone with any man out there when I was way little. She only had to do it once. I was mortified and never ran again.
  • Nancy_AZ60
    Nancy_AZ60 Posts: 99 Member
    Well I am not going to lie, I got my grandson a little monkey backpack that had a lead on it. I loved it, he could roam around without holding my hand. The lead is NOT to control the kiddo, just to give them some space. They get tired of being carried and having you hold their hands. Plus he kept his toys, pullups and such in the pack.
  • Quieau
    Quieau Posts: 428 Member
    We held hands on the street or sidewalks when my daughter was young, but I did use a leash when we went into the forest. I wanted her to be able to explore more freely than she could holding my hand, but as we lived in the mountains, she could fall off the side of the trail and the leash kept her from falling too far and injuring herself, as well as being hard to reach in that emergency. So the leash gave me security to let her explore the surroundings and bend over and look at things that she wanted ... it was a transition with a backup plan. I still kept an eagle eye on her but let her get maybe 2-3 feet away from me. Kids can be lightning quick, I didn't want to chance it.

    I never question folks who are seeking safety for their children. As long as the child is physically and psychologically comfortable, there's nothing wrong with a backup plan. Too many sad stories to think otherwise.
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
    I do sometimes.

    My 3 year old is undergoing a diagnosis of autism and has sensory issues. One thing she hates is too do is hold hands and as she often wont walk far I have to take a pushchair and also walk her across busy roads. She is also a runner and has no sense of danger and it is very difficult to have her 'under' control. We are currently getting extra support from the autism team in how to try and cope with her as she is a risk when out and about.

    I'll be honest and sya that I've never had a comments when we are out and if I'm getting mucky looks i'm to busy trying to deal with her and the other children to even notice let alone time to care.
  • Broderick50
    Broderick50 Posts: 842 Member
    My exgirlfriend made it clear she was a fan of this. I most definetly am not and everytime I see a kid on a leash I laugh my *kitten* off and take a picture and send it to all of my friends with some type of caption.
  • KelARita7
    KelARita7 Posts: 2,694 Member
    I bought one, to be honest. But I could never bring myself to actually use it. I just always, always used a stroller or cart wherever we went. My daughter was 5 when she started walking on her own outside of a cart or stroller and my son is 4 now and SOMETIMES we let him. He has a tendoncy to wander and I could see how in crowds if you wanted to walk it would be a nice security blanket. I don't judge people who I see do it tho. Most of the ones I've seen look like loving attentive parents. I am a crazy paranoid person when it comes to something happening to my kids, so I see nothing wrong with it.
  • jeffd247
    jeffd247 Posts: 319 Member
    When you have two hands to hold onto at the same time, you damn well bet I leashed them (twins).

    I have two children.. and two hands. I've never leashed my children and we have spent plenty of times in airports, zoos and even foreign countries.

    Rather than leashing them I taught them when they needed to stay close, and disciplined them when they didn't.
  • jeffd247
    jeffd247 Posts: 319 Member
    My 3 year old is undergoing a diagnosis of autism and has sensory issues.

    This is the one exception that I would agree with. I can't see any other reason (besides a behavioral or mental disorder) that would cause a parent to need to leas their child.
  • NinjadURbacon
    NinjadURbacon Posts: 395 Member
    My best friend is the parent of twin toddlers. She uses a leash and I think it is a great idea. She lets them walk around on the leashes and when they are tired they go in the double stroller. They are 2ish range. I see absolutely no problem with it. And if it makes a parent feel safer in crowded areas that your kid can not taken and ran off with, then great.
  • Debbie_Ferr
    Debbie_Ferr Posts: 582 Member
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    Leash.jpg

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  • mayaocean
    mayaocean Posts: 355 Member
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  • (a) My father, who was a surgeon, got tired of doing shoulder surgeries on toddlers so he recommended leashes up to school age; (b) Took a friend with a toddler to the Grand Canyon. More than one Ranger came up to us and THANKED her for using a leash there. Safety first!
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    While I do not own one personally, my oldest runs and has always been a runner. We give him his freedom in parks, but if we were to ever travel with him again, he would be the perfect face for one of those monkey backpack/harnesses. He has dyspraxia which also goes along with ADHD (undiagnosed, but they are monitoring him for this) and he CRAVES movement constantly. He would not be safe in an airport when two parents are carrying luggage and have two other kids as well.

    So yes, these things have their place! Busy streets, shopping centers, traveling -- all places where safety trumps any sort of stigma attached to having your kiddo on a "leash".
  • perfect_storm
    perfect_storm Posts: 326 Member
    My kids absolutely hated the stroller they would go stiff as a board when trying to buckle them in and once they could undo the buckle it was another story. My kids were very curious and I did harness them to stop the stroller trauma and to allow them to discover on their own while I watched carefully. They are now 16 and 17 on the honor roll, active in sports, have a bunch of friends, have no social difficulties, get involved in community events and enjoy their family. I guess the harness did not scar them. I got looks but I was happy knowing they were not trying to get out of the stroller and darting out to see something.

    Oh and to add, I only used these in amusement parks and crowded fairs.
  • PBsMommy
    PBsMommy Posts: 1,166 Member
    Being the oldest child of 4 siblings and many, many cousins, I saw a lot of children grow up as I grew up.

    Because I saw them grow up, I thought I knew everything what it took to be a parent and I developed a lot of "IFs" and didn't understand why parents would do such things and even thought a few were bad moms/dads.

    Then I had my own...

    From that moment on, I stopped judging other mothers/fathers.

    1. I grew up and realized, it's not my place to judge. Live and let live.

    2. I am the mother to my child, not everyone else's child. I do what I think is best for my daughter and I make the choices I believe would benefit her more. I believe 95% of all the other parents I come in contact with are doing the same thing. I may have different views and opinions than a lot of them, but I in no way think that automatically makes them a bad, weird, crazy, psychotic, or what ever other else you would want to call them. I do not care what some random person thinks I should do with my child. They don't know my child, I do.

    If my daughter was a runner and I feared that she could be in danger of stepping out in front of a moving vehicle, you bet your sweet *kitten* I would put a leash/rein on her. I would rather random people I don't give two snots about judge and ridicule me then watch one of the most precious things in my life be harmed.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I bought one, to be honest. But I could never bring myself to actually use it. I just always, always used a stroller or cart wherever we went. My daughter was 5 when she started walking on her own outside of a cart or stroller and my son is 4 now and SOMETIMES we let him. He has a tendoncy to wander and I could see how in crowds if you wanted to walk it would be a nice security blanket. I don't judge people who I see do it tho. Most of the ones I've seen look like loving attentive parents. I am a crazy paranoid person when it comes to something happening to my kids, so I see nothing wrong with it.

    You wouldn't put reins on your child, yet they had to go in a stroller until they were FIVE? And yet you judge people who use reins! My son walked without reins or a stroller at 2.5! He used reins from 18 months until age 2.5.
  • kjimmie4848
    kjimmie4848 Posts: 123 Member
    I leashed my 3 yo girl after my son was born. Mostly in wide open places, like the mall. Not so much because she could run off, but if someone snatched her and ran off, I would have to chase after pushing newborn in a stroller.

    Now she is a very independent, self confident, almost 12 yr old. No harm, no foul, right?
  • No we never went in for that. And at 25 and 18 now they would probably complain!
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    I will be honest -- I have raised all three the same and it comes down to personality. Our daughter NEVER ran off and has always stayed right by my side. She would never need to be harnessed and I remember thinking (even when she was a baby), "what is wrong with this kid?" because she was so easy-going. She still is at 3.5 and I can take her and the youngest one (2) shopping. But the oldest (6) alone? Never! He still runs at age 6. STILL. He craves that constant movement and we either just avoid taking him to stores altogether, or find ways for him to exert energy (run some laps at the park) before going to a store; often we will take turns staying in the car and let one of us adults dash in and get what we need while the other parent stays in the car with the kids. SOMEDAY it will get easier.... LOL