Bridezilla, weight loss sabotage? Or common sense.

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Replies

  • khadijak17
    khadijak17 Posts: 393 Member
    Apart from choosing the colour of your dress and arranging the wedding she has no right to tell you when to lose weight and how to look for the wedding, what has the wedding got to do with your weight loss?
    Im really confused as to why your sisters acting like she is, why do you have to hold on to losing weight for your sisters wedding thats months away?
    NO NO NO do not give in and do not stop your weight loss for anything or anyone, it really doesnt make any sense!
  • Samthefrog
    Samthefrog Posts: 77 Member
    Congrats on your new-found courage. I think you have the right attitude. Do your duty, but move on. There will be so many other days in your lives that will be equally if not more important, and if she chooses to continue to be this way, she's going to be alone for those days. Sad, but true.

    I really want to see a picture of this dress. I wonder if it can beat the teal or silver-space-suit monstrosities I have in my closet!!

    By the way, she's totally jealous of your accomplishment! Some people just want you to stay fat because it makes them feel good. Trust me, I have people like that in my life!
  • Go4it1985
    Go4it1985 Posts: 169 Member
    In the end you are paying for the dress and it's a moot point if the rest of the bridal party is not there. That would mean the dress would be up to and your sister.

    I don't think you put a hold on losing weight because of the wedding :( Keep going and do your best to estimate your size for at the time of the wedding (being realistic) and pay for alterations closer to the date.

    It sounds like you need to have another discussion with your sister and lay out your reasons. At this point she's only concerned with how everything is impacting her so it sounds like you need to explain how this affecting you and work out some compromise (maybe you Both pick out a dress together).
  • Grace215lbs
    Grace215lbs Posts: 129 Member
    Soo for those of you who know my anniversary with BF ended with him proposing :) my sister said i can't wear my engagement ring because it's not my wedding and bridesmaids apparently traditionally don't wear any jewlery because it takes focus away from the bride. Sany of you know if this is true? my mother says shes puling it out her backside. I told her its fine as i'll tie some roe on my finger since thats not really jewlery. This standing up for myself is pretty fun. ;)

    My fiance sadly for me is no longer attending on account, in his words " I don't want to celebrate your sociopath sisters, i tricked a guy into marrying me so f**k all of you day". Haha he's a silly one, though now im facing this wedding hell alone, so wish me luck and lets hope she doesnt decide her weddingneeds a human sacrifice :/
  • themedalist
    themedalist Posts: 3,217 Member
    I'm really glad you posted your update. Congrats on your engagement! You'll be a gracious and thoughtful bride, something your sister doesn't seem capable of. I've never heard of the jewelry rule, I highly doubt it's legit.

    Your sister is the definition of Bridezilla.
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
    I'm not sure how many different ways you need to be told to tell her to suck your big fat hairy duck, but here's another for you.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    The jewelry thing is bogus. She's completely making that up. Congratulations on your engagement!! Don't take that ring off for anyone, least of all that psycho sister of yours.
  • Schonprinzessin
    Schonprinzessin Posts: 15 Member
    Im sorry this is outrageous. I hope she magically changes her point of view before the wedding is too close. She shouldn't be picking out dress sizes almost a year in advance, shouldn't tell you what to do with her body, she's being very selfish. I'd recommend having an unbiased person come in and mediate between everyone before the whole wedding is destroyed.

    Continue with your weightloss! You are going so well, don't let someone else's selfishness ruin it!
  • Samthefrog
    Samthefrog Posts: 77 Member
    Are you kidding me with the jewelry? I know brides who actually BUY the bridesmaids their jewelry for the wedding as a bridesmaids gift! So I know that's unadulterated bullshiz. The last wedding I was in, we didn't wear necklaces but we all wore earrings and all the married women wore their rings!!

    Get some gold or silver embroidery thread and braid or knot it and wear it as a ring! Please!!! Or better yet, wear a Ring Pop! That would be awesome!! If she asks, she didn't say you couldn't wear candy...

    What can I do to crash this wedding? This is going to be the most entertaining wedding of the year because unfortunately, your sister is GOING to go off on SOMEONE or SOMETHING. It'll just be a matter of who and what. You can start a bet pool for this!

    Sorry... i can't help myself..
    Sorry...
  • kramalicious
    kramalicious Posts: 143
    You poor thing! You've done right to just keep on working your plan and deal with the dress size issues as it gets closer to time for the wedding. Even in the BEST of wedding situations, it will be a bit tense, but I agree with others who think your poor sister has problems going beyond bridesmaid dresses. Probably a bit controlling before this all began?

    Just keep putting your health as the priority and deal with the dress when it gets closer to the date. I was prepared to cut your sister some slack but when she started dictating hair colors and lengths ,she lost me. It's a wedding, not a fashion show!

    Your poor sister sounds jealous of you or so insecure that she can't enjoy life. So sorry for you.
    Just remember that it's the marriage, not the wedding, that's important. And Congrats on your engagement!
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
    Soo for those of you who know my anniversary with BF ended with him proposing :) my sister said i can't wear my engagement ring because it's not my wedding and bridesmaids apparently traditionally don't wear any jewlery because it takes focus away from the bride. Sany of you know if this is true? my mother says shes puling it out her backside. I told her its fine as i'll tie some roe on my finger since thats not really jewlery. This standing up for myself is pretty fun. ;)

    My fiance sadly for me is no longer attending on account, in his words " I don't want to celebrate your sociopath sisters, i tricked a guy into marrying me so f**k all of you day". Haha he's a silly one, though now im facing this wedding hell alone, so wish me luck and lets hope she doesnt decide her weddingneeds a human sacrifice :/

    If my sister told me to take my engagement ring off, she could eat, spit, and die. The amount of cray that your sister has within her body is approaching infinity.
  • kramalicious
    kramalicious Posts: 143
    Your sister has you all cowed; honestly it sounds as if you, and your mother, are terrified of her. She has apparently trained you well. She sounds like a classic, toxic, narcissist. Narcissists are quite good at training those around them to do their every whim, whether you like it or not.

    I'm going to go against the grain a little bit here and ask you something: if this wasn't your sister, would you still be in the wedding? If it was a 'friend,' would you have bailed by now? I don't believe in the adage of "but its family," usually said in the same whiny tone as "but think of the children." Its bullsh!t. Family doesn't, or shouldn't, treat each other as your sister does you, nor should they be given special passes when they do *kitten* all over you, simply by way of shared DNA.

    You and your mother should learn the power of the word 'no.' It needs no follow up, and no explanation. 'No' is a full sentence. Personally, I would love to see the expression on your sister's face if someone actually managed to break her thrall and say it to her. Who cares if she freaks out? This is part of how she learned to control you. She freaked out over something, you (or mom, or someone else) gave her what she wanted to stop the freakout, rinse, lather, repeat, lesson learned.

    Why on earth would you stop doing something so important to you, losing weight for your health, simply because your toxic sister wants overweight bridesmaids? Its crazy talk, and you know it. Be firm, stand strong, and tell her to sit and spin. Otherwise, yes, I do think that you will be a doormat, and you know what we do with doormats...they're walked all over, as your sister is doing to you.

    This may all sound harsh, but you either need to do something about it/her, or just go along with the flow, be miserable, and stop complaining about it. Having said all that, I do wish you the best. Toxic family is hard to deal with, and your sister is toxic.

    This is a very reasonable analysis of the situation, I think. Some of us can't deal with a controlling person making unreasonable demands, some say just suck it up for your sister. Honestly I am surprised there will be any of her friends at the wedding. Or that there will be one, when groom 's friends and families tell HIM to take a hard look at what's going on. And a woman making her own good salary making her mother, who is on a fixed income, buy her wedding dress? You sister has been getting away with this horrible behavior for way too long. The best thing to do is to participate however much you feel comfortable doing so, wear what you want and what makes you feel good. The girl will control everything she can so draw the line. It' s not being mean to your sister, it's being realistic and knowing yourself. I went to a wedding once where the bride's father sheepishly admitted bride had made him get his teeth whitened before the wedding. I thought to myself, " Uh oh. A bit controlling..." But your sister is uber controlling and needs a dose of reality. Does groom bow down to her wishes like this? I see trouble ahead for them. Do your thing and don't let the sister ruin your life for you.
  • wertgirlfor
    wertgirlfor Posts: 161 Member
    I wouldn't stop losing weight. I wouldn't buy a dress until closer to the wedding, just so you know it will fit. Stand up for yourself and don't let her guilt you into doing anything unreasonable because it's "her day." If she has a problem with you losing weight or buying the dress 1 month before the wedding instead of 10 months, then she can get married without any bridesmaids. Just because it's your wedding does not mean you can control everyone involved.
  • kramalicious
    kramalicious Posts: 143
    Sounds like you are getting a wise man for your new husband! I like his take on the situation! Perhaps the two of you should find a nice place to vacation during this wedding from hell and then just enjoy the tapes of it later at your ieisure. Sister's crazy demands are just wrong, wrong,wrong. JMO. Good luck to you!
  • kramalicious
    kramalicious Posts: 143
    Are you kidding me with the jewelry? I know brides who actually BUY the bridesmaids their jewelry for the wedding as a bridesmaids gift! So I know that's unadulterated bullshiz. The last wedding I was in, we didn't wear necklaces but we all wore earrings and all the married women wore their rings!!

    Get some gold or silver embroidery thread and braid or knot it and wear it as a ring! Please!!! Or better yet, wear a Ring Pop! That would be awesome!! If she asks, she didn't say you couldn't wear candy...

    What can I do to crash this wedding? This is going to be the most entertaining wedding of the year because unfortunately, your sister is GOING to go off on SOMEONE or SOMETHING. It'll just be a matter of who and what. You can start a bet pool for this!

    Sorry... i can't help myself..

    Yes, everybody in the wedding party wears their own jewelry! My sister in law gave us all these lovely bracelets as a "thank you" for being in the wedding. What next -- No underwear allowed? Bodily functions regulated? Sisterzilla needs some therapy- premarital counseling session might be a good wedding gift...
    Sam , please film it all if you go, I'll buy a copy. It sounds like it is going to be something people will talk about for long time, but not in a good way...

    Sorry...
  • Atishi87
    Atishi87 Posts: 51 Member
    OP I really hope that you will not use your sister as a way to sabotage your own weight/health goal. Sometimes, people do that, coz they are scared of change. My best wishes are with you. Stay strong and carry own. Don't let anyone get in your way including your self.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    my sister said i can't wear my engagement ring because it's not my wedding and bridesmaids apparently traditionally don't wear any jewlery because it takes focus away from the bride. Sany of you know if this is true?

    Congratulations on your engagement.

    And, once again, your sister is full of ****. Wear your engagement ring - she can get stuffed.
  • RonnieLodge
    RonnieLodge Posts: 665 Member
    Soo for those of you who know my anniversary with BF ended with him proposing :) my sister said i can't wear my engagement ring because it's not my wedding and bridesmaids apparently traditionally don't wear any jewlery because it takes focus away from the bride. Sany of you know if this is true? my mother says shes puling it out her backside. I told her its fine as i'll tie some roe on my finger since thats not really jewlery. This standing up for myself is pretty fun. ;)

    My fiance sadly for me is no longer attending on account, in his words " I don't want to celebrate your sociopath sisters, i tricked a guy into marrying me so f**k all of you day". Haha he's a silly one, though now im facing this wedding hell alone, so wish me luck and lets hope she doesnt decide her weddingneeds a human sacrifice :/

    Wow, what a great update!

    Your mother is correct, your sister is talking out of her a*** re: bridesmaids wearing jewellery.

    Good luck!
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    I would schedule my wedding on the same day as hers, and tell all the guests that they can wear whatever the heck they want if they attend MY wedding. Also loots of free booze. Mwahahahahahahahaha!!

    Congrats.
  • wannabpiper
    wannabpiper Posts: 402 Member
    Stop discussing anything wedding-related with her; keep in mind that it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

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