Parenthood is it worth it?

As a father of four sons (24, 23, 22, 13), I could write for days on this. Let me sum it all up with one quick story.

December 19, 2001. Around three months after 9/11. My sons were 11, 10, 9 and 2. My wife and I took them to the site of the World Trade Center (and a few days later, the Pentagon), because we felt like there were many lessons to be learned there. We stood outside an ancient church just two blocks from ground zero. On the sidewalk outside the church was an informal, impromptu memorial with blankets, pictures of dead and missing family members, prayer candles, and scrawled words of inspiration and hope. In the center was a broad brimmed hat filled with change, ones, fives, tens and twenties. Now, keep in mind this was New York City. No one was watching the money. No one took the money. My boys asked me why the money was on the ground in the hat. I explained that people donated the money to help the families whose mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, and sons and daughters, died in the 9/11 attack.

My son, Ben, is a Legomaniac. He always has been. When he heard that New York City had a Lego store, he asked for extra chores in the months before our trip so that he could buy something at the store with his own money. After weeks of picking up leaves, taking out trash, cleaning out cars, and such, he had enough to buy himself something at the Lego store.

Without asking our permission, or telling us what he was going to do, Ben dug into his jeans pocket, took out his precious little wad of bills, and laid it in the hat. He stood there staring at the hat for the longest time. My wife and I looked at each other with tears streaming down our faces. In that moment, Ben gave us proof that the values and empathy we worked to instill in our sons had taken hold.

Was it worth spending the past quarter century taking care of four souls and putting their needs and wants before ours? Yeah. It was worth it. And thensome.

As a father of four sons (24, 23, 22, 13), I could write for days on this. Let me sum it all up with one quick story.

December 19, 2001. Around three months after 9/11. My sons were 11, 10, and 2. My wife and I took them to the site of the World Trade Center (and a few days later, the Pentagon), because we felt like there were many lessons to be learned there. We stood outside an ancient church just two blocks from ground zero. On the sidewalk outside the church was an informal, impromptu memorial with blankets, pictures of dead and missing family members, prayer candles, and scrawled words of inspiration and hope. In the center was a broad brimmed hat filled with change, ones, fives, tens and twenties. Now, keep in mind this was New York City. No one was watching the money. No one took the money. My boys asked me why the money was on the ground in the hat. I explained that people donated the money to help the families whose mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, and sons and daughters, died in the 9/11 attack.

My son, Ben, is a Legomaniac. He always has been. When he heard that New York City had a Lego store, he asked for extra chores in the months before our trip so that he could buy something at the store with his own money. After weeks of picking up leaves, taking out trash, cleaning out cars, and such, he had enough to buy himself something at the Lego store.

Without asking our permission, or telling us what he was going to do, Ben dug into his jeans pocket, took out his precious little wad of bills, and laid it in the hat. He stood there staring at the hat for the longest time. My wife and I looked at each other with tears streaming down our faces. In that moment, Ben gave us proof that the values and empathy we worked to instill in our sons had taken hold.

Was it worth spending the past quarter century taking care of four souls and putting their needs and wants before ours? Yeah. It was worth it. And thensome.

You made me cry at my desk, thank a lot.

Seriously though, that is an incredible story and you obviously are fantastic parents.

Raise your hand if you wish your parents had chosen sleeping in or pets over having you? Yeah, that's what I thought...

Umm...so you're saying that everyone should breed uncontrollably, even if they don't want to, just because they themselves are alive? :noway:

"Breed uncontrollably"? I'm not sure where you pulled that from, certainly not from anything I posted.

Anyone who doesn't want to "breed" certainly shouldn't - I just find it funny that people who brag about how carefree and selfish they are by not having kids benefited from sacrifices from parents didn't feel the same way. (Excluding people who hate their parents - even so, I'd rather be alive with crappy parents than never to have existed - what fun would that have been?)

Why shouldn't we brag? The people in my life who have children brag about how life changing it is and how much I'm missing out. Um, no. People will brag about their children. People will brag about their lives without children. Who cares?

Raise your hand if you wish your parents had chosen sleeping in or pets over having you? Yeah, that's what I thought...

Umm...so you're saying that everyone should breed uncontrollably, even if they don't want to, just because they themselves are alive? :noway:

"Breed uncontrollably"? I'm not sure where you pulled that from, certainly not from anything I posted.

Anyone who doesn't want to "breed" certainly shouldn't - I just find it funny that people who brag about how carefree and selfish they are by not having kids benefited from sacrifices from parents didn't feel the same way. (Excluding people who hate their parents - even so, I'd rather be alive with crappy parents than never to have existed - what fun would that have been?)

Why shouldn't we brag? The people in my life who have children brag about how life changing it is and how much I'm missing out. Um, no. People will brag about their children. People will brag about their lives without children. Who cares?

Nothing people love more than bragging for the sake of bragging...

I never used to want children. Then, at 40, I had a son. Then, our daughter died at 26 weeks' gestation. Since we have had another boy and a girl. I am 46 years old with three living children and another one on the way. And they are...

worth.
every.
second.

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter and so happy you were blessed with another boy and girl. And yes, they are worth every second!

Thank you!

Coincidentally, someone just sent this to me. Seems like this would be a good place to leave it.

Some NSFW language
http://littlewhitelion.com/people-with-no-kids-dont-know-46781/

Haha, I really feel it is that bad for parents just watching the constant battles they have with their kids over the smallest things.

I found my shoes! :laugh:

I'm 28 and the only one of my friends left that hasn't had children. I, in some ways, feel like its too late to have kids for me. I don't want to be that gray haired lady that goes to parent teacher meetings and everyone thinking I am this child's grandparent... I love that I can do what I want when I want... I love working third shift and I love my freedom. I know it sounds selfish but I like the time I get to spend with my man and a kid would get in the way with that. I like to have my friends kids over and then give them back at the end of the day... after they are over for awhile I get over my baby fever fairly quickly. So, I think I will just stick with my 2 dogs and call it a day. lol

Caught the last train to motherhood, adopting a 3rd old at 46. Having had a tough start she's challenging but worth it. I knew it would be emotionally tough but I wasn't expecting having to exercise my brain, learning so much about attachment and development too.
For someone with little maternal instinct, it was only after my partners baby died at birth that we considered adopting. Couldn't imagine my life without the little one now, and am happy to abdicate prime position to her needs for as long as that's necessary. In return, she makes me laugh daily and we do new stuff all the time which stops the boring rut. Would advise against dealing the menopause at the same time as early parenting though, lack of sleep from hormones makes me murderous!

I'm 28 and the only one of my friends left that hasn't had children. I, in some ways, feel like its too late to have kids for me. I don't want to be that gray haired lady that goes to parent teacher meetings and everyone thinking I am this child's grandparent... I love that I can do what I want when I want... I love working third shift and I love my freedom. I know it sounds selfish but I like the time I get to spend with my man and a kid would get in the way with that. I like to have my friends kids over and then give them back at the end of the day... after they are over for awhile I get over my baby fever fairly quickly. So, I think I will just stick with my 2 dogs and call it a day. lol

I started working on my first at 38. My missus was 30.

I'm still going to be kicking *kitten* and taking names long into my 80's!

You are almost 40? You look younger!

My husband and I waited 11 years after we got married to have kids. We just didn't feel ready and we got to do a lot of things we wouldn't have been able to do if we had kids.
I was 34 and 36 when I had my boys. If I hadn't waited so long, I probably would have had more.
I don't feel like I have given up my freedom at all. I get to be a stay at home mom and spend lots of time playing, reading books and being a referee
When your kids develop their sense of humor, it is the BEST! Write down the hilarious things that they say. You think you'll remember them all, but you won't.
Enjoy every minute! Time flies :happy: