Angry at husband for refusing to take care of his body

From experience-lead by example and keep your mouth shut. My husband's cholesterol numbers were high and he was on his way to being a diabetic. Having his doctor and employer tell him this didn't change anything, because he just wasn't ready.

Last fall I started losing weight because my own health was deteriorating. After a year of focusing on me, being positive about the whole thing (I never ever complained about 'dieting'), and being successful with losing the weight and now maintaining-a month ago out of the blue my husband told me he wanted to lose some weight. I had to scrape my jaw off the floor lol. I supported him in his decision, as he's done for me, but I let him take control and he chose a way that worked for him (which was different than how I approached weight loss). This morning he hit a new low and has lost a little over 10lbs. He's doing it on his own terms and out of a desire to do this for himself. My role is be supportive but not be pushy or become a nag. That won't work and will cause more problems. Being an example is the biggest thing you can do-they are watching us!

This all happened since September?

I just got married in September, and at 46, my husband is slightly overweight and is becoming very unhealthy. I just looked at his lab results from his recent check-up and he's pre-diabetic and has high cholesterol. I want to have at least 40 years with him, and I DON'T want him to become diabetic and lose limbs, have ED, have to inject himself with insulin, etc.

His sugar crashes are AWFUL when he goes too long without eating. He's grumpy, forgetful, etc. I have diabetics in my family and I've seen the terrible damage it does and how badly it brings down the quality of your life.

The thing is, he "talks" change, but does nothing. I get on the elliptical and he says he'll get on after I'm done, but then he gets busy doing something else and doesn't do it. He eats HUGE portions of food, especially carbs, and he's a chocolate junkie.

I could, since I'm really the only one who cooks, make only healthy meals that he won't be tempted to eat too much of, but I think he should just learn damn portion control. For example, tonight I'm making tuna and noodles and a vegetable. My kids love it, and I know how to eat only a small portion (like a cup) and fill up on vegetables. My husband, however, will eat a HUGE plate, and a tiny dollop of vegetables. Plus he'll drink a big glass of orange juice with it. I'll drink water or unsweetened tea. I don't think it's fair to have to make only "health foods" just so that he doesn't have to worry about trying to control himself.

Plus, I'm angry that he leaves it all to me. I don't want to have to tell him to work out or tell him to only eat so much of something or only make certain foods. He's a grown man, and should be able to self-monitor.

We are trying to have a baby, and I want him to be around well into old age to see that child grow up! I love him so much that it angers me that he cares so little about his own health.

Should I nag him? I remind him to work out but then don't get on his case if he doesn't, because I don't want to seem like a controlling bi#*ch. I don't say anything when he overeats, but I frequently remind him he should eat less carbs (because of the blood sugar issues) and more vegetables and protein. But I haven't come down on him hard, it's just been suggestions.

As a side note, I AM attracted to him, so I'm not doing this because I want a hotter husband. I do think it would improve my desire for him some though if he were a bit slimmer and more muscular. It's not that big of a deal though, more like a "wouldn't it be nice" type of wish than anything. I mostly want him to be healthy!

Please, any suggestions would be appreciated.

And also, I don't think that there's anything wrong with asking your spouse to change something that really bothers you. I know it's the current "politically correct" thing to say that people shouldn't try to change other people and to rant that "desperate" or "stupid" women are always marrying men and then trying to "fix" them. But come on, really? You are only hearing this one complaint that I have about my husband and some of you have decided that my marriage fits into the above-listed stereotype and that I probably shouldn't have married the guy.

That's ridiculous. It's okay, in my opinion, to ask your spouse to change something for you, especially if it's something self-destructive. And throwing someone aside instead of marrying them because of a single flaw when you love them tremendously and they are a good, kind person, is just stupid. So yes, I married him, and I will stay married to him.

And FYI, he also believes there is nothing wrong with asking your spouse to change something if it bothers you.