Why is this girl doing this to me? (Girll help)

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3X173
3X173 Posts: 40 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hello,
I really am confused at what is doing on. And I need some girls advice on what to do? Should I just ignore her or continue maintaining friendship with her?

5 months ago, I moved in a new place with a girl roommate. We really hit it off. The first day we met, we talked for 10 hours straight and we spent everyday together for 2 months. The landlord would hate us because we would sometimes talk until 4am. She told me countless times how we connect so well. When she didn't have a job, she would wait for me in the balcony.

After 2 months, she had some problems with money and no job. I loaned her money, I got her a job at my workplace, I provided her food, I picked and dropped her off to work and I cooked for her, while she never cooked for me. I also paid for everything whenever we went out. And anything that she asked me to do, I never denied any of her requests. Obviously, I fell for this girl hard as I never had a girlfriend and we connected so well.

Finally, I told her how I felt. She just laughed and said "No, I am sorry". She said maybe in another life (she believes in reincarnation) but not in this lifetime. She told me that she won't get into a relationship until she's in her 30s. I wasn't that hurt because I thought that things would continue the way it was. She also said that I am like a brother to her.

Next week, she gets a boyfriend and totally cuts me off; no talking, no texting, nothing. She met him at my workplace. I was really hurt, I didn't sleep for two days, and totally lost my appetite and lost 10 lbs throughout the ordeal. And honestly, as it hurts me to say this, it hurt me more than my dad's passing away. I know that he was at peace now and that's just part of life but this thing was a shocker. Still hurts seeing them together daily at work.

Just randomly, she starts texting me again and starting calling me at her break-time. I came back like a whimpering dog. Among other stuff, she talks about how amazing her boyfriend is and he's doing this or that for her. Sending me pics of them together and complaining how condoms are expensive. She also calls me up to take her places as her bf doesn't have a car and I of course do it for her. She is also nice as she tries to help me to get another girl and I can tell that she cares for me. We currently text each other everyday for at least an hour.

I still really care for her but she really hurt me a lot and I kinda feel being used. She talks to me more than her bf, I think.
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Replies

  • Mobilemuscle
    Mobilemuscle Posts: 945 Member
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    heartbreaker brother

    sorry u r goin through it
  • MarK95x
    MarK95x Posts: 31
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    Looks like you got friendzoned hard, next time don't whiteknight sloots and give them money.

    She obviously used you to get money etc etc, sloots gon sloot brah just move on and forget her just learn from your mistakes.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    You are being used. Is she still living with you? You probably need to ask her to move out and find a new roommate. Then block her number from your cell and avoid her a work as much as possible.
  • ShapenerFiterrati
    ShapenerFiterrati Posts: 111 Member
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    Don't let her take advantage of you. Make it clear that u have boundaries she can't cross. You're not responsible for her, and trust me.... at the end? No one's worth the pain.
  • Artaxia
    Artaxia Posts: 185
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    You're being used by this girl. Break it off and find someone worth your time. The fact that she said she wasn't going to get into a relationship and then jumped into one the next week means she's a liar. I find these people to be terrible people, those whom I do not speak with.

    Again, break it off. Find someone else. You deserve to be happy. Let the tramp live without a car. She can walk to work! >;o grrr
  • 3X173
    3X173 Posts: 40 Member
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    Looks like you got friendzoned hard, next time don't whiteknight sloots and give them money.

    She obviously used you to get money etc etc, sloots gon sloot brah just move on and forget her just learn from your mistakes.
    I told her three times to stop talking to me. It always comes back to her texting me and I just caving in. I mean, when something is going on in your life, and she is the first one to ask you how it went, it's hard to ignore that.

    She also knows EVERYTHING about me. It feels like she and I have known each other for a long time. She says because we used to know each other in the previous life.
  • 3X173
    3X173 Posts: 40 Member
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    You are being used. Is she still living with you? You probably need to ask her to move out and find a new roommate. Then block her number from your cell and avoid her a work as much as possible.
    She still lives in the same house but I don't see her daily. We still text and call daily though.

    I want to block her but she still has my money. Out of $350, $100 is still left.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
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    She's using you. I'm sorry to say it, but a true friend would be sensitive to your feelings for them and NOT rub it in your face about how "expensive condoms are". That's just b1tchy, cruel, and unnecessary. It seems she knows exactly what to say to make you think that you guys have some sort of "deep connection" but I honestly call BS. You need to cut her out of your life, take this as a learning experience and move on.

    Best of luck to you.
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    to answer your question,"Why is she doing this to me?" It's because your letting her sweetie. Forget that you like her & think she's hot,if this were a guy would you take this treatment??? I don't think so. Never settle for less than what you deserve. Know your worth.
  • 3X173
    3X173 Posts: 40 Member
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    Don't let her take advantage of you. Make it clear that u have boundaries she can't cross. You're not responsible for her, and trust me.... at the end? No one's worth the pain.
    Yea, I realized that but I just can't say no to this girl. I've tried and already think that I will say no but when the time comes, yes comes out, lol.
  • eileen0515
    eileen0515 Posts: 408 Member
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    Truth time, she is a nutcase.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    You are being used. Is she still living with you? You probably need to ask her to move out and find a new roommate. Then block her number from your cell and avoid her a work as much as possible.
    She still lives in the same house but I don't see her daily. We still text and call daily though.

    I want to block her but she still has my money. Out of $350, $100 is still left.

    Cut your losses and block her. If she won't move out, you need to. The biggest rule is never to lend more than you can afford to lose. She's crazy, she used you, she's still using you, and it's time to stop caving every time she decides she wants your attention. She's either crazy or a sociopath, because I can't fathom that she's a good person when she laughs and tells you "Maybe in another life" and then tells you how many condoms she's using.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    Uh nut job?! Trust me your better off. I fell hard for a girl that was a bit um flip floppy. I would do anything for her. She snapped my heart in half. BUT it opened me up for much better things. Moral of the story there are people out there that will appreciate you.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Don't let her take advantage of you. Make it clear that u have boundaries she can't cross. You're not responsible for her, and trust me.... at the end? No one's worth the pain.
    Yea, I realized that but I just can't say no to this girl. I've tried and already think that I will say no but when the time comes, yes comes out, lol.

    You can say no. You just don't want to.
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
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    Someone can only do to you... What you allow them to do... Cut her communications to you off immediately. Say NO and walk away from her and the $100. You are being played for a fool.
  • 3X173
    3X173 Posts: 40 Member
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    You're being used by this girl. Break it off and find someone worth your time. The fact that she said she wasn't going to get into a relationship and then jumped into one the next week means she's a liar. I find these people to be terrible people, those whom I do not speak with.

    Again, break it off. Find someone else. You deserve to be happy. Let the tramp live without a car. She can walk to work! >;o grrr
    Yea, I actually confronted her about that. She just said that she didn't want it, but life gave it to her or some bs. I also asked her why did she say no to me. She basically that I had no attitude. Although she said that she has more fun time talking to me, and he's grumpy, that she would prefer him over me.

    I was just pissed off at women in general for screwing with us men with this garbage.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
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    Walk away!!!! Cut off all contact and move on. You also deserve to be happy.
  • gina_nz_
    gina_nz_ Posts: 74 Member
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    Walk away!!!! Cut off all contact and move on. You also deserve to be happy.

    this

    kick her out. block her number. Cut your losses about the money, you won't get it back.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    she sounds like an emotional vampire and a user...youre not the go to guy to pick up pieces and then get left in the gutter when things improve. Friendship is a two way street.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    She IZ using you and you know it. And you're letting her and she don't respect you.... same as when a dude uses a chick.

    The messed up thing is you got her a job! I would never work with someone I hooked up with (assuming you all hooked up).

    She enjoys antagonizing you, clearly. Cut her off. Let her be dead to you. You can hook up on your own and dont need her help.

    Eta: everyone here agrees on you being used. Commented without reading comments, so sorry if it was repetitive. You're too nice!!! She don't deserve your attention! Hope karma gets her. Don't even know you and I wanna kick her *kitten*.

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