Honesty About How You Lost Your Weight

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Replies

  • VelvetMorning
    VelvetMorning Posts: 398 Member
    It'll bite her booty when she gets into a conversation with someone about it and can't hold her own.
    I so thought this said, "I'LL bite her booty..." :laugh: :laugh: :sad:

    Well, to be fair...I might. :P
  • shaynepoole
    shaynepoole Posts: 493 Member
    I think it is a personal decision. If she chooses not to disclose she had surgery to other people, that is totally up to her. If it bothers you, you should talk to your sister and explain why you are bothered. And then let it go

    I generally get the reverse where people assume that I had surgery when I didn't. I probably would have had the surgery but I had other medical conditions which made me ineligible. To me, losing the weight is the important thing, not really how you explain it to people. I just let them think whatever they want to think.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    I've seen on here over and over again folks saying they had, or would have surgery, and numerous replies saying they took "the easy way" or "cheated".

    Meh, if someone doesn't want to say they did the surgery? Fine by me.
    But to pretend what THEY are doing isn't hard is willful denial.

    When someone objects to that I figure it says more about them than the person they are complaining about.
  • rosiepott
    rosiepott Posts: 7
    Why does it bother YOU that she doesnt tell the truth? Sounds like an issue with yourself insted of her. I'm not trying to be mean. Whenever I have a strong reaction to someone elses actions, I always ask myself why, and in turn find more out about myself that I need to grow and learn. Just an observation. what you say about other people says more about you than it does about them.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.

    Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

    I totally agree. It is NONE of my business and I DO worry about me. We are Christians and setting others up for failure is what really bothers me. Her "lying" let's others believe that if they "cut their carbs" they too will have her success. SO not true. The real reason she lost weight and lost it so quickly is because she now only has 20% of her stomach left. Eating 300 calories a day or less is what got her to where she is. Yes, it's true that the surgery enabled her to eat so little. SO ... all of this being said, she should own what she did, be proud of herself but BE HONEST about how she did it. Don't set others up for failure because simply following a low carb diet won't make you lose over 100 pounds in 5 months. Enough said.

    Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your sister’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

    I think you know where THAT came from. :wink:
  • terriejones
    terriejones Posts: 518 Member
    I would have said, "and I'm losing mine without the help of surgery."
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    I would have said, "and I'm losing mine without the help of surgery."
    Wow. If you'd done something like that to me, you'd be out of my life.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    I would have said, "and I'm losing mine without the help of surgery."
    Wow. If you'd done something like that to me, you'd be out of my life.

    No kidding. That's pretty hateful.
  • Gardenwalla
    Gardenwalla Posts: 10 Member
    I think you should let it go. You are two different people on two different journeys. If you keep being entangled with her actions you will not be freed up to be successful for your own initiative.
  • VelvetMorning
    VelvetMorning Posts: 398 Member
    I would have said, "and I'm losing mine without the help of surgery."
    Wow. If you'd done something like that to me, you'd be out of my life.

    No kidding. That's pretty hateful.

    Sounds like some pretty intense jealously for absolutely no reason. What a spiteful, ignorant, rude, ****y thing to say.
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    I would be embarrassed to admit I needed surgery to lose weight too.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    Honesty is great, not everyone has the courage to be honest with themselves or others :( sad truth
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    I am struggling with lying issues when it comes to being truthful about how you lost your weight. My sister recently underwent a gastric sleeve surgery. In 5 months time she lost over a hundred pounds. Obviously people see the weight dropping off of her and wonder how she did it. I believe in being honest and would have said that I had gastric surgery. She simply smiles and says she lost it following a low carb diet. SO not true. What she should have said is that she had 80% of her stomach removed and because of this she ate 300 calories a day for months and THAT'S how she lost it.

    Just wondering what any of you would have done and your feelings about being dishonest in how you lost your weight. OK or not OK?


    Your sister is probably afraid of people's reactions or is ashamed of the surgery or she wants privacy. What she is doing shows psychological problems. It would also put you on the spot if somebody asks you about it. Edited to say I read the other comments and agree this was her decision, her life, and it is up to her whether to keep her privacy or not.
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
    Eh if my sis felt more comfortable not discussing the fact that she had a very personal, invasive surgery and told people that she followed a low-carb diet, which is probably true- she probably has been because she can't eat much- I would just let her. Her body, her deal.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    I think lying is wrong regardless of what it is about. If you are a liar, then what else deceitful are you going to do?
    So if you asked your significant other if you were overweight in their eyes and they say yes, you'd be absolutely cool with that? Just wondering.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    that's the best time to tell the truth, to someone who you have a vested interest in. especially if they ask, ever met someone who just couldn't lie? I LOVE those people because you shouldn't ask if you don't want the truth, truth helps you change/grow
  • LINIA
    LINIA Posts: 1,159 Member
    BEING HONEST

    My favorite answer " This. If you ask a question that's none of your business, you're not entitled to any answer, true or not. If somebody asks me how I lost weight, it's totally fair for me to say it was carried away by leprechauns."

    ***** i have found that each person has to allow other people to be themselves, your Sister had gastric bypass...she doesn't want to deal with all of the questions and responses so she doesn't tell casual acquaitenances she had surgery. The important people in her life " her family " all know the truth.
    Your Sister has no obligation to inform anyone of an elective surgery she had----please stop already with the judging!
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    If it makes her happier to say she followed a low carb diet - whatever. It's not like she's misleading people and saying, "Oh! I didn't do anything!" and you have a group of people stuffing themselves thinking they'll have her results. I know a woman who also lied about her surgery so I'd imagine that it's a common thing; perhaps embarrassment because it's regarded as a "fat people" surgery; or perhaps ashamed they couldn't do it the hard way. Either way, she has to live her life. It'll bite her booty when she gets into a conversation with someone about it and can't hold her own. Personally, I lie about how I lost weight (veganism) - simply because it's not worth the arguments and 10,000 redundant questions ("Where's your protein?", "You can't do that it's unhealthy", etc). I lost weight to make me happy, not to become a professor of veganism :P. Maybe they feel that saying they had that surgery would spur on more grief than its worth. When people ask me about weight loss, I give them VALID DIET ALTERNATIVES. "I cut back on calories", "I exercise more", "I cut out fried foods, white foods [potatos, bread, pasta, whatever], etc"

    Good points. I went vegan too and almost never say that for the reasons you mention. I don't want to be grilled with questions, get into an argument, or make friends uncomfortable in a restaurant. I do say I'm vegetarian in social situations where otherwise people would put a plate of chicken in front of me. If I'm really questioned I will let the person know what I eat and why. I stopped eating eggs and dairy for ethical reasons, researched everything I eat, get my B12 and my protein, etc. I love my friends and don't want to put them or myself on the spot, so I don't have the hang of gracefully being what I am yet.

    In the end it's good to have some compassion for other people and let them find their own way. Life is a complicated process. None of us are perfect.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    What about us people makes it okay to cheat & go get this surgery. What weight loss takes is a healthy day by day work your hardest effort. That fat lady that had this surgery & WHOOP-magically come off
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    Hmmm. There's more going on here. This is about your sister getting away with something and you wanting to tell the truth, to sort of make her come clean. I understand the feelings, but if you can detach yourself (easier said than done), maybe you'll be able to think about it without letting it push your buttons so much. I don't have much feeling one way or another about someone else's "lie," but I do know after dealing with someone else's problems (family member) for quite a long time, I realize their lies and behaviors are all on them. It's not my job to out them, or make them confess, or frankly, to worry about why they do what they do. It is exhausting to concern myself with it.
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    What about us people makes it okay to cheat & go get this surgery. What weight loss takes is a healthy day by day work your hardest effort. That fat lady that had this surgery & WHOOP-magically come off
    Cheat? I don't think that it's cheating. Now, lipo, that's cheating bc you're just getting the fat sucked out of you. But, I'm still even okay with that bc some ppl use lipo as a jump start for them to continue their weight loss the "natural" way. Doesn't these types of gastric bypass surgeries require a doctor's approval? I thought that your life had to be in danger or something. That's why I'm okay with it. If I was at such high risk of a heart attack bc of how fat I was, I wouldn't want to wait a year for the weight to fall off while spending each day wondering if that would be the day that I'd die. I'd want to get the surgery ASAP, and then start working out. I'm sure that these ppl have tried to lose weight, but can't for some reason.

    OP, add this person's comment to the list of reasons that your sister is probably "lying" about her surgery.

    Someone mentioned that her sister is lying. I don't consider it lying when someone is being nosy and asking you an intrusive question.
  • TheCredibleHuIk
    TheCredibleHuIk Posts: 26 Member
    I ate less.
  • Luv2Smile55
    Luv2Smile55 Posts: 133 Member
    I think you should let it go. You are two different people on two different journeys. If you keep being entangled with her actions you will not be freed up to be successful for your own initiative.

    This for sure. We are walking our owns paths in this life. I do need to let it go. I am a Christian and I know what I could truthfully do and what's she's doing isn't it. That being said I will do what my conscience allow and she will do her what hers allow and never the two shall meet.

    I thank all of you for your input. I don't necessarily agree with some of you but that's why I asked. I was looking for perspective and I got just that.

    So again ... Thanks!
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    What about us people makes it okay to cheat & go get this surgery. What weight loss takes is a healthy day by day work your hardest effort. That fat lady that had this surgery & WHOOP-magically come off
    You don't really know much about this topic do you? Your comment is pretty ignorant.
  • KnM0107
    KnM0107 Posts: 355 Member
    I think lying is wrong regardless of what it is about. If you are a liar, then what else deceitful are you going to do?
    So if you asked your significant other if you were overweight in their eyes and they say yes, you'd be absolutely cool with that? Just wondering.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I think this would depend on the relationship. My husband and I are brutally honest with each other. When I was obese, my husband didn't lie to me about it. He didn't call me fat or anything but he was concerned with my health and he did talk to me about it. He wasn't judgemental and he offered to help in any way he could. I wasn't mad. He was being honest and because of his honesty I finally started taking care of myself. I love him for being honest and I do feel that because we are completely honest we have a stronger relationship.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    This for sure. We are walking our owns paths in this life. I do need to let it go. I am a Christian and I know what I could truthfully do and what's she's doing isn't it. That being said I will do what my conscience allow and she will do her what hers allow and never the two shall meet.

    Another incredibly judgemental statement...

    I don't know why this issue is bothering you so much - but it for sure isn't about her "lying", so it might be worth having a heart to heart with yourself to figure it out.
  • mg_89
    mg_89 Posts: 189 Member
    ugh.. that's a real bummer. I would have a problem with that too. The principal at my child's former school did this.. everyone KNEW she did the surgery.. there's no shame in that.. why not just own it? Every time I see her I think.. she's just full of ****.

    I love reading how people did it and are doing it.. it gives hope and motivation to do the same. Thanks for sharing.
  • GBrady43068
    GBrady43068 Posts: 1,256 Member
    I look at it as being my chance to help someone who might realize they need to lose weight and are looking for info from someone who's "done it" so I would be honest. Depending on how close I am to the person, I might or might not volunteer that alarm over being "borderline" for diabetes triggered me to start making actual changes.
  • keltoi93
    keltoi93 Posts: 51 Member
    I've no problem saying how I've lost weight, I skip breakfast everyday, replaced all my liquids with water (expect going from coke to diet coke) and counted calories, it really is that simple.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    I'm working my *kitten* off, lifting, boxing, doing yoga, biking (I was running until my knee started acting up), and I'm proud of that. I have no issue telling people that, and how I started watching what I ate, but didn't starve myself... even allowed myself cookies, ice cream, wine, pancakes, bacon, etc.

    Those who are dishonest typically are insecure/ashamed of others' reaction. But it doesn't affect you in any way, shape, or form. She's an adult. She's made her bed. Worry about you.

    I totally agree. It is NONE of my business and I DO worry about me. We are Christians and setting others up for failure is what really bothers me. Her "lying" let's others believe that if they "cut their carbs" they too will have her success. SO not true. The real reason she lost weight and lost it so quickly is because she now only has 20% of her stomach left. Eating 300 calories a day or less is what got her to where she is. Yes, it's true that the surgery enabled her to eat so little. SO ... all of this being said, she should own what she did, be proud of herself but BE HONEST about how she did it. Don't set others up for failure because simply following a low carb diet won't make you lose over 100 pounds in 5 months. Enough said.

    So, you're saying that by this woman
    simply smiling and saying she lost it following a low carb diet.

    that she is
    setting others up for failure
    50px-Purple_question_mark.svg.png

    Because everyone is gonna run off and start following random low carb diets, because this one lady said that's how she lost a *kitten* ton of weight in a big ole hurry.

    That's like saying that everyone is gonna go out and buy a juicer and start juicing random fruits and vegetables 'cause they saw some rich guy on a documentary do it for 60 days.

    Oh wait.... that's what I did.... never mind.

    :blushing:
  • hannahpistolas
    hannahpistolas Posts: 290 Member
    Are you sure this isn't more of a jealousy issue? I'm only guessing because you're on a weight loss site, as well.

    While I agree that lying is aggravating, the fact of the matter is there's a stigma associated with weight loss surgeries. People instantly think that the person was moribldy obese; or, even worse, they think they were just too lazy to lose weight the regular way and/or that the person "cheated" their way to success.

    In the end, it's her story to share (or not share)-- not yours.

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