Is chivalry really dead? :(
Options
Replies
-
Only one of them. And she wasn't really a princess until Disney got ahold of her.
Most of the princesses in stories get locked away in towers, as I recall.I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess
Howeverm princesses were always (in the real world) forced to marry men they'd never met who were often much older in order to solidify political alliances.0 -
This is *just* my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it. Chivalry is mostly alive and well, and thank goodness for that. Women would be in a mess of trouble if it ever "went out of style".
Chivalry, at its core, is based on women being the weaker sex; and hate me if you want, but women *are* the (physically) weaker sex. If you've ever looked at the numbers put up by males and females in the same weight class at a powerlifting competition, there are HUGE disparities. There are exceptions to every rule, but genetically speaking, a man and a woman of equal weight are not equal in strength. Any woman that thinks she is equal in strength to her male counterpart is, statistically, incorrect.
Chivalry teaches men to be careful with women, to treat them with respect, gentleness and, above all else, to protect them and keep them from harm. Men should know that they are stronger than women, to discourage this and pretend it doesn't exist is to do both men and women a disservice.
I love that women are empowered, and they should be equal. Equality is defined as the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities. There is no reason that women should not be held equal in these areas because of a disparity in physical strength. But open your eyes. The ability to feel empowered is a result of society, and it is because of chivalry. Look at places where chivalry is not a concept and you will see women being treated as chattel, being bought and sold and traded as a commodity, being abused and treated as slaves - what you see is nature. Nature is beautiful, but also ugly - and the truth of nature is that the strong prey on the weak. In societies where it isn't ingrained in men that women are to be treated gently, protected, guarded, treated with immense respect and allowed to flourish and be equals, you see subservient women.
I would be horrified if I ever heard a woman snap at a man for opening a door for her or offering to help her carry something heavy. Yes, you can open your own door, and you are almost positively able to carry that package on your own, but every time a man offers, he is showing you that he's on board. That he's invested in protecting women, that he respects you, that he's there if you ever need him. Next time, it may not be a package or a door, next time it may be someone stronger than you trying to do you harm, and that chivalrous door-opener might be the only thing standing in the way of you and physical harm.
So to every man that's ever held the door open for me, offered to carry my books for me, pulled over to offer me assistance with changing a tire, or the hundreds of other times you've extended yourself to help me - Thank you. Thank you for letting me know that you respect me, that you see me, and that you're there for me. Thank you for watching over me. May you be blessed by whatever power you believe in.
People of either sex have gifts and strengths. No one is suggesting that we don't use our abilities to help others where we can. I still haven't really seen reason posted why "chivalrous" men feel that their behavior should extend only to women.
I wonder how men feel when a women opens a door for them. Or if another man holds the door for them?0 -
Regardless of the dictionary definition of chivalry, we all know what was being asked in this thread.
Personally I CAN open car doors, pump my gas, open doors to buildings and pay the check, but I always appreciate when a MAN is generous and polite and yes chivalrous.
My husband always opens doors for people and yes makes a special point for women, he will always pump the gas and let me out of the vehicle at the door so that I do not get wet from rain. He values my opinions treats me as an equal but prefers to be a gentleman. I feel bad for the men that get reprimanded for being chivalrous, to me I just feel that the person acting that way has something to prove and is taking it out on someone who is polite and well mannered.
When a man is chivalrous he is in know way implying that you are incapable, I like the protection and concern of a man, even though I can help myself.
Any men reading this please know there are women who appreciate your efforts. As for the women who get easily offended by an open door, I think you have bigger issues regarding your self worth. Personally I am worth the attention and deserve respect, I also respect others and show manners.0 -
Chivalry is dead towards the femnazis, other than that all is still alive and well.0
-
I live in the south, so I can honestly say that chivalry is NOT dead. It is alive and well where I live
0 -
I fail to see why "how you were raised" was a factor in this whole chivalry mess. My parents tried--really tried--to teach me these things, but it was always my nature to question the logical reasons for these behaviors. I could not find a logical reason for it, so I did not honor it.0
-
Chivalry = Respect. It's not dead but dying0
-
Once again I stick by my original comment, chivalry is dead and should be. Any special treatment towards women who demand to be our equals makes them exactly the opposite. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Once again, I need to point out however that all the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to all people all the time. In the modern society we call this "being polite" and this includes everything I have seen in this thread as to what chivalry is. Opening doors, being polite, standing when someone leaves the table, protecting the weaker ectectc but UNLIKE chivalry which bases this only towards the weaker sex that are too poor and helpless to defend themselves, poor things, this should be directed to everyone. We do not have roaming hoards of cut throats that we need to protect the poor helpless women folk from anymore, previous comments of them being physically weaker is equally meaningless as nothing in this day and age requires you to be strong to protect anything. We now have women in combat, women in office, women in police, women in well... everything.
tl:dr: Chivalry needs to be dead, it is offensive towards women. All the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to EVERYONE all the time by EVERYONE both sexes.0 -
Most of the princesses in stories get locked away in towers, as I recall.I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess
Perhaps I used "princess" in the wrong context...my bad. Looks like I will have to come up with a different word because I'm sure the first thing a person thinks about when they say princess is someone who's locked away in a tower. <<SMH>>0 -
Chivalry = Respect. It's not dead but dying
Therein lies one of the issues. People have different definitions of chivalry. For some, it's a series of behaviors such as opening doors for women, pulling out chairs for them, things like that. For others it's something else.
The behaviors themselves I have a personal issue with because I see them as being very hypocritical, especially in regards to how differently you treat women than other men based solely on the fact that they are women. It simply makes no sense to me.0 -
No. . . . most women dont even acknowledge it, thats all. Most are ungrateful. Well, in LA at least. But, I dont mind. I still open doors and what not. It's who I am0
-
SHHHH....if it is, please don't tell my husband! He still opens doors, lets me order first...all the things his parents taught him a man should do! Now, in turn I fix his meals....lots of popcorn, wash his clothes. We take good care of each other!0
-
Most of the princesses in stories get locked away in towers, as I recall.I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess
Perhaps I used "princess" in the wrong context...my bad. Looks like I will have to come up with a different word because I'm sure the first thing a person thinks about when they say princess is someone who's locked away in a tower. <<SMH>>
Honestly, "Princess" makes me think of a selfish woman with an entitlement complex.0 -
Chivalry isn't dead. I know this for a fact.
I think a true lady loves chivalry. I can take care of myself just fine, but someone opening the door for you or leading you into a room with their hand on your lower back are the gestures that make a woman love a man forever. It's all in the details.0 -
I don't believe its dead, my hubby still opens the door for me and always unlocks my door for the car first.. :}
Only a small example but so much this - same here and I appreciate it - I even lean over and open his door for him so he can get in! Not dead in my house and I am SO GLAD it isn't!0 -
Not dead, not yet. I see chivalry as being respectful of everyone around you. I still expect the person in front of me to hold the door, just as I will hold the door for the person behind me, regardless of gender, age, etc...
Examples:
When boarding an elevator, allow those ON the elevator to step off before boarding yourself.
Excuse yourself when you step in front of someone at the store.
Say thank you when someone holds a door open for you.
Speed up or move to another lane when cars need to get off the ramp.
I would rather be polite & respectful to someone, even if it's not returned. I work in a hospital, and we have a Code of Excellence we follow here. My manager told me something the other day that was fantastic: "Keep this in the back of your mind: People will always remember how you made them FEEL".0 -
This is *just* my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it. Chivalry is mostly alive and well, and thank goodness for that. Women would be in a mess of trouble if it ever "went out of style".
Chivalry, at its core, is based on women being the weaker sex; and hate me if you want, but women *are* the (physically) weaker sex. If you've ever looked at the numbers put up by males and females in the same weight class at a powerlifting competition, there are HUGE disparities. There are exceptions to every rule, but genetically speaking, a man and a woman of equal weight are not equal in strength. Any woman that thinks she is equal in strength to her male counterpart is, statistically, incorrect.
Chivalry teaches men to be careful with women, to treat them with respect, gentleness and, above all else, to protect them and keep them from harm. Men should know that they are stronger than women, to discourage this and pretend it doesn't exist is to do both men and women a disservice.
I love that women are empowered, and they should be equal. Equality is defined as the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities. There is no reason that women should not be held equal in these areas because of a disparity in physical strength. But open your eyes. The ability to feel empowered is a result of society, and it is because of chivalry. Look at places where chivalry is not a concept and you will see women being treated as chattel, being bought and sold and traded as a commodity, being abused and treated as slaves - what you see is nature. Nature is beautiful, but also ugly - and the truth of nature is that the strong prey on the weak. In societies where it isn't ingrained in men that women are to be treated gently, protected, guarded, treated with immense respect and allowed to flourish and be equals, you see subservient women.
I would be horrified if I ever heard a woman snap at a man for opening a door for her or offering to help her carry something heavy. Yes, you can open your own door, and you are almost positively able to carry that package on your own, but every time a man offers, he is showing you that he's on board. That he's invested in protecting women, that he respects you, that he's there if you ever need him. Next time, it may not be a package or a door, next time it may be someone stronger than you trying to do you harm, and that chivalrous door-opener might be the only thing standing in the way of you and physical harm.
So to every man that's ever held the door open for me, offered to carry my books for me, pulled over to offer me assistance with changing a tire, or the hundreds of other times you've extended yourself to help me - Thank you. Thank you for letting me know that you respect me, that you see me, and that you're there for me. Thank you for watching over me. May you be blessed by whatever power you believe in.
I absolutely agree with all of this.
Once again I stick by my original comment, chivalry is dead and should be. Any special treatment towards women who demand to be our equals makes them exactly the opposite. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Once again, I need to point out however that all the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to all people all the time. In the modern society we call this "being polite" and this includes everything I have seen in this thread as to what chivalry is. Opening doors, being polite, standing when someone leaves the table, protecting the weaker ectectc but UNLIKE chivalry which bases this only towards the weaker sex that are too poor and helpless to defend themselves, poor things, this should be directed to everyone. We do not have roaming hoards of cut throats that we need to protect the poor helpless women folk from anymore, previous comments of them being physically weaker is equally meaningless as nothing in this day and age requires you to be strong to protect anything. We now have women in combat, women in office, women in police, women in well... everything.
tl:dr: Chivalry needs to be dead, it is offensive towards women. All the qualities of chivalry should be practiced to EVERYONE all the time by EVERYONE both sexes.
Equality between men and women was and is fought for by women who want the same pay as men, the same career choices as men, the right to vote, etc. It was nothing about protesting against men holding doors open for women, or any other ‘special treatment’ you may consider chivalry to be. It often sounds to me that men that dislike chivalry because women fought for equality hold a grudge against that equality, but that’s just my opinion.
Them being physically weaker is not meaningless at all, read the comment that I quoted above yours. For example, my partner always takes any heavy shopping from me when we go out, not because I’m incapable of carrying it, but because it’s far easier for him than me. I certainly do not find chivalry offensive.
Having said that, I agree that it applies to both sexes. I would certainly never slam a door in a guys face just because he is a man.0 -
Once again respecting people and being polite to them is not chivalry, it's being polite and should be done to everyone regardless of sex. Chivalry is the offensive and sexist act of doing exceptional acts to women that you are not expected to do to men in the name of the weaker sex who can't do for themselves. Just like we no longer stone people who cheat on their mates, we also no longer need to "protect" the weaker sex who is no longer the "weaker" sex and fights right along side men in battle.
Time to drop the special attention for WOMEN only and start doing it for everyone by everyone. Let the sexism end.0 -
Being chivalrous means to treat others with courtesy and generosity - it is not meant only for men to be courteous to women. Having common courtesy might mean holding a door open for someone else - regardless of gender; saying "thank you" to others for a kindness directed toward you; helping someone in the grocery store to pick things up that they might have knocked over; etec, etc.
I try to be polite and respectful to others, regardless of gender, age, color, etc .... and in general, I see most other people act the same way. So .. to answer the question posed by the OP, NO, chivalry is not dead.0 -
Wow. Talk about a thread blowing up overnight. I wake up to 6 pages more stuff.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.5K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 391 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 925 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions