Is chivalry really dead? :(

Why do only women get to get put on a pedestal?

Good question, maybe because I'm a guy and not about to put another man on a pedestal. In actuality "pedestal" is probably the wrong word as it implies they're infallible or better. Neither of which is true. A better word might be acknowledgement, and yes it is acknowledgement in a gender specific role. You may not see the point in it. I enjoy the differences between men and women, I enjoy acknowledging women in a respectful way and I like to help those around me. Those are some of my reason for doing what I do.

And why do only women deserve your protection?

It certainly isn't only women that I would help or deserve it but we are talking specifically about women. I would do the same for anyone I thought needed help or protecting.

I guess Chivalry is something that not all men were raised with and they just can't get it, no matter how hard you try to explain. My heart is warmed by how many of the men in this thread *do* get it, though. I can tell by reading your posts that you are one of the men that gets it. Many thanks to you, keep being awesome

I was raised with it. I just questioned it, is all. The person I am has very little to do with how my parents *tried* to raise me and it bothers me that people talk about it's how you were "raised." It has simply always been my nature to question the logic behind things, even the things my parents tried to teach me, and even as a child. And if I could not see logic behind it, I didn't go along with it. Regardless of traditions, regardless of societal standards, it has always been my nature to seek logic in things before I adhere to them. And that included what my parents tried to teach me. What I'm curious about is why there aren't others who question these things as well.

For the record, I am this way with all traditions. If I see no logic behind it, no justification that goes beyond "well, it's just what people do" then I don't do it. No logic, no understanding.

That would make you undateable for me.
Just being honest.

See? It IS a good test.

Test for what? And questioning things for logic is undateable? Okay, if that's your thing, that's cool, but it doesn't matter to me whether or not it makes me undateable.

right. and that's okay. I wasn't saying it to be unkind to you. I was being perfectly honest.

While I do think questioning "authority" isn't a bad thing, it can be taken too far. This is one case (IMO)

What I meant is that it is useful as a test for compatibility.

I am sooo gonna get some back lash on this but I don't really care. It is my opinion. Not saying it is fact or should be everyone's opinion but it is what i believe to be true as a Christian woman. I believe a woman's place is in the home. I believe she should be taking care of the home and raising the children while the man works. I believe that things spiraled downward and children got out of hand when the mother's left to home to work. I don't believe a woman is equal to a man. I don't believe a woman can do anything a man can do nor do I believe they should be in a man's position. There were far less problems with society when women knew their place and did their job. Sorry if this offends any of these women on a power trip out there. I don't mean be let your man mistreat you but don't complain about Chivalry being dead when when it was the women that wanted to be treated equal to men. You all just ruined it for the ones that know our place as women.

dafuq?

Chivalry is benevolent sexism as academics refer to it. Some women feel entitled to this treatment from men, and some men are too myopic to see the big picture.

The benevolent sexism seems to extend to places such as family court, criminal courts and gender sentence disparities, and even the male only selective service system in the United States.

Chivalrous practitioners seem to look at things in a dichotomous way such as infantalizing women and denying their agency while overemphasizing men's responsibility and agency (attribution error).

Back in the real world, "courtly love" was a fancy justification for infidelity.

I am sooo gonna get some back lash on this but I don't really care. It is my opinion. Not saying it is fact or should be everyone's opinion but it is what i believe to be true as a Christian woman. I believe a woman's place is in the home. I believe she should be taking care of the home and raising the children while the man works. I believe that things spiraled downward and children got out of hand when the mother's left to home to work. I don't believe a woman is equal to a man. I don't believe a woman can do anything a man can do nor do I believe they should be in a man's position. There were far less problems with society when women knew their place and did their job. Sorry if this offends any of these women on a power trip out there. I don't mean be let your man mistreat you but don't complain about Chivalry being dead when when it was the women that wanted to be treated equal to men. You all just ruined it for the ones that know our place as women.

dafuq?

This is horribly offensive. I'm a man, I don't want to work.

I am sooo gonna get some back lash on this but I don't really care. It is my opinion. Not saying it is fact or should be everyone's opinion but it is what i believe to be true as a Christian woman. I believe a woman's place is in the home. I believe she should be taking care of the home and raising the children while the man works. I believe that things spiraled downward and children got out of hand when the mother's left to home to work. I don't believe a woman is equal to a man. I don't believe a woman can do anything a man can do nor do I believe they should be in a man's position. There were far less problems with society when women knew their place and did their job. Sorry if this offends any of these women on a power trip out there. I don't mean be let your man mistreat you but don't complain about Chivalry being dead when when it was the women that wanted to be treated equal to men. You all just ruined it for the ones that know our place as women.

dafuq?

This is horribly offensive. I'm a man, I don't want to work.

A lot of men don't want to work these days. They want to stay home and play video games or World of Warcraft while drinking their beer and popping their pills or smoking their pot while the women they mistreat and never appreciate work 2 or more jobs just trying to keep the bills paid and a roof over your head. By all means it is socially accepted to be a sorry piece of crap these days go right ahead and join in. Women went from raising kids and taking care of the home to raising kids the best she can while holding down a couple of full time job, keep the house clean and make sure the hubby has plenty of beer and smokes so he wont have to leave the computer screen except to relieve him self or smack the "old lady" around a little. What ever makes everyone happy. :drinker:

How is that "celebrating" differences? Forgive me but I tend to take words at their literal meanings and I don't see how doing things for a woman that you wouldn't do for other men constitutes a celebration. Also, different does not mean better. But doing things for them you wouldn't do for others does say "better."

In my mind doing these things does not say "better," it says "different." I think that is the crux of the conversation, it says different things to us. Perhaps it's a generational thing or maybe a different world view.

While most of this I would do for anyone regardless of gender, there are certain things that I will only do for a woman and a few things that I will only do for my wife. I will hold the door for a man who is exiting or entering behind me but I will open the door and step aside for a woman to allow her to enter first (or a man who is trying to catch up to his family). If I'm on a bus and there is an elderly couple, I will gladly give my seat to one of them but I will give the elderly woman the right of first refusal with all else being equal. When at a table at a restaurant, if a woman gets up, I will always rise also but will only do so for a man when meeting to shake his hand or to offer help when he needs it.

Unfortunately, I don't think we'll reach agreement on this. At this point I think the discussion becomes a series of circular assertions.

I am sooo gonna get some back lash on this but I don't really care. It is my opinion. Not saying it is fact or should be everyone's opinion but it is what i believe to be true as a Christian woman. I believe a woman's place is in the home. I believe she should be taking care of the home and raising the children while the man works. I believe that things spiraled downward and children got out of hand when the mother's left to home to work. I don't believe a woman is equal to a man. I don't believe a woman can do anything a man can do nor do I believe they should be in a man's position. There were far less problems with society when women knew their place and did their job. Sorry if this offends any of these women on a power trip out there. I don't mean be let your man mistreat you but don't complain about Chivalry being dead when when it was the women that wanted to be treated equal to men. You all just ruined it for the ones that know our place as women.

dafuq?

This is horribly offensive. I'm a man, I don't want to work.

A lot of men don't want to work these days. They want to stay home and play video games or World of Warcraft while drinking their beer and popping their pills or smoking their pot while the women they mistreat and never appreciate work 2 or more jobs just trying to keep the bills paid and a roof over your head. By all means it is socially accepted to be a sorry piece of crap these days go right ahead and join in. Women went from raising kids and taking care of the home to raising kids the best she can while holding down a couple of full time job, keep the house clean and make sure the hubby has plenty of beer and smokes so he wont have to leave the computer screen except to relieve him self or smack the "old lady" around a little. What ever makes everyone happy. :drinker: