Funniest things said in bed

124

Replies

  • Amadbro
    Amadbro Posts: 750 Member
    Not directly "bed related" but my fiance and I had been dating for a little while and I had been staying at her apartment. After a few months she was getting letters from her apartment manager about complaints of "bedroom noises" late at night. Was rather embarrassing lol.
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
    Was in hotel with VERY thin walls my girlfriend and I had "finished" we heard the people in the next room "start" They lasted about 2 minutes and my girlfriend beats on the wall and yells "You got ripped off!"
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Was in hotel with VERY thin walls my girlfriend and I had "finished" we heard the people next store "start" They lasted about 2 minutes and my girlfriend beats on the wall and yells "You got ripped off!"

    I call bullsh1t...i got mine....
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    Was in hotel with VERY thin walls my girlfriend and I had "finished" we heard the people next store "start" They lasted about 2 minutes and my girlfriend beats on the wall and yells "You got ripped off!"

    I think your girlfriend is awesome!
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
    Was in hotel with VERY thin walls my girlfriend and I had "finished" we heard the people next store "start" They lasted about 2 minutes and my girlfriend beats on the wall and yells "You got ripped off!"

    I think your girlfriend is awesome!

    She was pretty awesome
  • Just_Scott
    Just_Scott Posts: 1,766 Member
    "Just forget it.. Let's watch tv"

    That was you?!?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Not necessarily funny, but i did have one guy try to convince me that I DID actually come after he asked me and i said "nope". He found it unbelievable that he didn't get me off and he was actually pissed off at me afterwards.

    THAT is haylarious. "Oh you know what you're right after all I think I did, don't know how I missed it?". Like WHAT do you say to that?
  • Amadbro
    Amadbro Posts: 750 Member
    "where's the rest of it?"
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    I always get 'you effing s** girl' hehehehehe

    such a turn on.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I accidentally got headbutted once. :grumble:
  • findinglessjess
    findinglessjess Posts: 126
    ME: "Wow your bed is comfy I could totally fall asleep."

    HIM: "No, you have to stay awake for at least 2 more minutes."
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    I accidentally got headbutted once. :grumble:
    And I apologized after I uncuffed you.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    ME: "Wow your bed is comfy I could totally fall asleep."

    HIM: "No, you have to stay awake for at least 2 more minutes."
    Try seventeen seconds -rolls eyes-
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • findinglessjess
    findinglessjess Posts: 126
    ME: "Wow your bed is comfy I could totally fall asleep."

    HIM: "No, you have to stay awake for at least 2 more minutes."
    Try seventeen seconds -rolls eyes-
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Actually turned out to be about 30 minutes lol
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I accidentally got headbutted once. :grumble:
    And I apologized after I uncuffed you.

    Totally not what I was expecting after you asked if I liked it rough.
  • mammamaurer
    mammamaurer Posts: 418 Member
    "Ooo i have sparkly balls!" - me to my husband
  • findinglessjess
    findinglessjess Posts: 126
    I accidentally got headbutted once. :grumble:
    And I apologized after I uncuffed you.

    Totally not what I was expecting after you asked if I liked it rough.

    Damn, this reminds me of the time I was handcuffed and fell forward and slammed my head on the floor...good times!
  • hailzp
    hailzp Posts: 903 Member
    Is that you bleeding or me?


    He nosebleed all over my face and tits.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I accidentally got headbutted once. :grumble:
    And I apologized after I uncuffed you.

    Totally not what I was expecting after you asked if I liked it rough.

    Damn, this reminds me of the time I was handcuffed and fell forward and slammed my head on the floor...good times!

    At that point you just go with it and treat the injuries later.
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    I accidentally got headbutted once. :grumble:
    And I apologized after I uncuffed you.

    Totally not what I was expecting after you asked if I liked it rough.

    Damn, this reminds me of the time I was handcuffed and fell forward and slammed my head on the floor...good times!

    At that point you just go with it and treat the injuries later.
    Did she fall? Or was she pushed?

    Also, what were you expecting when I was mentioning "rough?" You were still conscious because the roofies didn't work...
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    ME: "Wow your bed is comfy I could totally fall asleep."

    HIM: "No, you have to stay awake for at least 2 more minutes."
    Try seventeen seconds -rolls eyes-
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Actually turned out to be about 30 minutes lol
    You got SO lucky!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    I wasn't sure what to do with myself when mine happened rofl.
  • BekaBooluvsu
    BekaBooluvsu Posts: 470 Member
    "I can't feel it"
    " I'm afraid I'll break it"
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    ME: "Wow your bed is comfy I could totally fall asleep."

    HIM: "No, you have to stay awake for at least 2 more minutes."
    Try seventeen seconds -rolls eyes-
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Actually turned out to be about 30 minutes lol
    You got SO lucky!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    I wasn't sure what to do with myself when mine happened rofl.

    I bet you just went and had a Twinkie
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    ME: "Wow your bed is comfy I could totally fall asleep."

    HIM: "No, you have to stay awake for at least 2 more minutes."
    Try seventeen seconds -rolls eyes-
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Actually turned out to be about 30 minutes lol
    You got SO lucky!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    I wasn't sure what to do with myself when mine happened rofl.

    I'd just go ahead and and finish it myself.
  • fitaholic718
    fitaholic718 Posts: 19 Member
    lol
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I was dating this guy for about a month, and one night he told me it would turn him on if I would join him in wearing adult diapers during foreplay. He was not joking, and believe me, I had hoped he was. Then he argued that I was a prude when Is said there was no way I was doing that. I had already been on the fence about the relationship, but that was the end of that. My friends get way too much amusement at my expense out of this story. Lol.
  • CharleePear
    CharleePear Posts: 1,948 Member
    "Why is your stomach so jiggly?" Thanks bro, needed to hear that.

    "Oh soz." Firstly shortening sorry to soz and seriously, 30secs?
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    I was dating this guy for about a month, and one night he told me it would turn him on if I would join him in wearing adult diapers during foreplay. He was not joking, and believe me, I had hoped he was. Then he argued that I was a prude when Is said there was no way I was doing that. I had already been on the fence about the relationship, but that was the end of that. My friends get way too much amusement at my expense out of this story. Lol.

    Umm?.. What now?.. :huh: :laugh:

    Aww bless you! :flowerforyou:
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    "You like how I do it?"

    "I'm going to make your insides vibrate."

    Said to penis: "Why won't you stay up? I didn't drink that much!"
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    ME: "Wow your bed is comfy I could totally fall asleep."

    HIM: "No, you have to stay awake for at least 2 more minutes."
    Try seventeen seconds -rolls eyes-
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Actually turned out to be about 30 minutes lol
    You got SO lucky!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    I wasn't sure what to do with myself when mine happened rofl.

    I'd just go ahead and and finish it myself.

    That's what I'm saying.

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