Funniest things said in bed

135

Replies

  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
    "Did you just snort?!"
  • emmaemz1985
    emmaemz1985 Posts: 140 Member
    It's not just the saying that are hilarious it's mainly the faces ppl pull!!!, :)
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    is that your heel in my *kitten*?
  • emmaemz1985
    emmaemz1985 Posts: 140 Member
    is that your heel in my *kitten*?

    Love it!!!! Lmfaooooooo
  • I've remembered another one:

    "Oh for the love of all things holy haven't you finished yet?"

    In my defence, I was tired, hadn't slept for nearly 4 days and he was trying far too hard. Poor sod, he was understandably upset with me after that. I still feel guilty even though it was a very long time ago.
  • Just_Scott
    Just_Scott Posts: 1,766 Member
    "Is it in?"

    We're done?!?
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    "Just forget it.. Let's watch tv"
  • Was asked: "Can I choke you?"
    I answered: "Only if you REALLY want me to rip off your testicles."

    I could swear he thought about it for a second.... :laugh:

    LOL!!!
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    "Is it in?"

    We're done?!?

    Sadly, pretty much both of these things!! :laugh:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    You're welcome.
    THIGH CRAMP! THIGH CRAMP!!!
    I think you just won like...fifty points.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
    Whispers in my ear in BABY TALK "Is your little lovehole ready for my shaft". Um....
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    Whispers in my ear in BABY TALK "Is your little lovehole ready for my shaft". Um....


    Omg hahaha
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    A guy once meowed at me during... it was easily the most hilarious sexual experience I've ever had, sadly hilarious doesn't equate to good

    ::laugh:


    Well the same guy who screamed, "That was excellent" after is the same guy who my neighbors heard and thought is was me doing the screaming! lol

    Male Neighbor : Looks like you were having fun last night."
    Me: No, hon, it was him yelling like that!
    Male Neighbor: Shocked cause he knew him a little and cracked up, saying, "I could have sworn that was a female scream!" LOL
  • VeggieKidMandy
    VeggieKidMandy Posts: 575 Member
    he whispered " Its in"....I was like ummmm...okay? lmao
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    "Just forget it.. Let's watch tv"
    I'm guilty of this one!!! I've said that!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Now I feel so evil!!!
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    During I can't recall but

    Post- I was recently told "I would so go make you three sam-miches right now, but I can't walk to the kitchen".
  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    he whispered " Its in"....I was like ummmm...okay? lmao

    LOL!!!

    Been there too once, unfortunately.. Not really used to it though! :laugh:
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    During I can't recall but

    Post- I was recently told "I would so go make you three sam-miches right now, but I can't walk to the kitchen".

    Need a date?
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    "did you just piss? "


    "I think the neighbor is listening"
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    "You took it like a champ".

    LOL!!!!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    "You took it like a champ".

    LOL!!!!

    I said that ONE time. :angry:
  • "You took it like a champ".

    LOL!!!!


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Whispers in my ear in BABY TALK "Is your little lovehole ready for my shaft". Um....


    :noway: :noway: :noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    oh, is it really that little?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    On a front seat encounter with a firefighter between dinner and the movie was just supposed to be a make-out session for first date but then I guess he found it hot and left it wet as they say about those guys. Premature whatevs. (he was so worried about the impression he was leaving and thought if I got mine then he'd still be in good standing I guess? IDK) Since I just started dating him I didn't trust him to finish me off plus I didn't want to be late to the movie so when I bragged off/pleaded/excused him with the fact I could finish myself in 30 seconds it turned into a bet. I really didn't want to miss that movie and he really didn't want to pay the bet so he yelled at me at the top of his lungs in the parking lot..."GO GO! You can do it! Do it for your country!!!!" The whole time. I won the bet. I also won patriotism that night. :wink:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Whispers in my ear in BABY TALK "Is your little lovehole ready for my shaft". Um....


    :noway: :noway: :noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    anytime if a guy ever says shaft I right away hear 70's funkadelic music and that guy in the show. it's haylair. but only to me.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Guy: Feels good huh

    Me: er yeah (not at all)
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    'Did i just break your nose?' My now ex wife asks as we were on yhe trampoline changing positions....or what my ex gf said (i wake up in her mouth and hear 'now that you are awake you have 3 minutes to finish or you are on your own' (as she hits the timer on her watch)
  • aquarabbit
    aquarabbit Posts: 1,622 Member
    One time my husband threw his arms in the air screamed "I AM AWESOME!" Lucky he did it to be funny because I burst out laughing and didn't stop for a good 10 minutes.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    Not necessarily funny, but i did have one guy try to convince me that I DID actually come after he asked me and i said "nope". He found it unbelievable that he didn't get me off and he was actually pissed off at me afterwards.