Funniest things said in bed

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  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
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    I've pulled the shut up and F me line in bed before too...the guy was a talker and just wouldn't shut up...and when he asked if he could get me pregnant...I almost snapped on him!
    So, is he a father now?
    -runs away before being shot in the face-

    LMAO!!! HELL NO!!!!
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    My husband once said Yahtzee upon completion...

    Bingo sounds more appropriate.

    ...but, "you sunk my battleship!" would be funnier.

    "Man overboard"!
    Marco Polo....now that would be a fun game.

    Tic Tac Toe!
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
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    "Is it in?"
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
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    Dang dog...several times over and over. Both of us said it several times :laugh:

    My dog didn't like being put in another room and literally kept knocking on the door...originally I thought it was someone at the door knocking so I had to check out the windows to see if someone was here...nope...then I realized it was coming from the other bedroom...dog was KNOCKING!!!!! Wouldn't stop until after I released her...but I didn't release her till we had ours....LOL
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
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    "Is it in?"
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas...Um, thanks?

    Clumsiest attempt to introduce BDSM into an encounter ever.
  • FatHuMan1
    FatHuMan1 Posts: 1,028 Member
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    My husband once said Yahtzee upon completion...

    Bingo sounds more appropriate.

    ...but, "you sunk my battleship!" would be funnier.

    "Man overboard"!
    Marco Polo....now that would be a fun game.

    Tic Tac Toe!

    Would Pin The Tail On The Donkey be considered offensive?
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
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    My husband once said Yahtzee upon completion...

    Bingo sounds more appropriate.

    ...but, "you sunk my battleship!" would be funnier.

    "Man overboard"!
    Marco Polo....now that would be a fun game.

    Tic Tac Toe!

    Would Pin The Tail On The Donkey be considered offensive?

    Would cow tipping?
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    I find it fascinating when these kinds of threads pop up and guys usually share things that they have said and women generally share things that were said to them by guys.
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
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    I find it fascinating when these kinds of threads pop up and guys usually share things that they have said and women generally share things that were said to them by guys.

    Cause boys be dumb
  • _TastySnoBalls_
    _TastySnoBalls_ Posts: 1,298 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    These are great...keep em coming.

    I don't have any cause i'm lame
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Was asked: "Can I choke you?"
    I answered: "Only if you REALLY want me to rip off your testicles."

    I could swear he thought about it for a second.... :laugh:
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
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    Was asked: "Can I choke you?"
    I answered: "Only if you REALLY want me to rip off your testicles."

    I could swear he thought about it for a second.... :laugh:

    Lmao... I usually just say... Sure

    That was a joke... Please don't send me creepy PM's
  • nofearbebravelive
    nofearbebravelive Posts: 49
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    I once yelled "My hip fell out" I have very bendy joints and get dislocated a LOT, well, my hip became dislocated, but the way I said it sounded like I was 80 not 21. For years that was a running joke prior to the event "I hope your hip doesn't fall out"
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
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    "It wasn't me.. I swear!"
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
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    I find it fascinating when these kinds of threads pop up and guys usually share things that they have said and women generally share things that were said to them by guys.

    Cause boys be dumb
    Yes.

    He made a comment implying I was a *kitten* and I told him the guys normally leave the money on the nightstand.
  • Dino_bacon2112
    Dino_bacon2112 Posts: 341 Member
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    "You're going to have to pay if you want to watch." To my cats.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
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    He said.. "Daaamnn...." with an awkward smile on his face, as I was there waiting.
    So, I guess not in bed yet hahaha.

    ETA: It was very weird for me. Yes, it was.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,255 Member
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    I asked my husband if he felt used once. LOL He laughed
  • fozzie500
    fozzie500 Posts: 177 Member
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    " sorry bout that" after accidently banging her head on to the toilet bowl,she followed up with "s'ok"......was pretty funny to us at the time.

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