Does anyone actually want help?

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  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
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    Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..

    As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
    Nothing worse than so called 'Fitness Professionals' with a holier than thou attitude. In my experience and reading a lot of advice given by them on these boards 'Fitness Professionals' are some of the biggest perpetuators and instigators of fad diets and dodgy bro science.

    People have different goals sometimes 'advice' given is totally inappropriate to the question asked. A lot of the time responders 'Agendas' get in the way or it feels like the person asking the question is being shouted at. Yes people may be following dodgy advice but shouting at them and calling them names wont help.

    There an large proportion of people who actually take advice given in threads and use that information so I think your only reading selected threads or on a different forum to the rest of us.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    Not really? I joined to use the food diary, but I wasn't looking for support or motivation. Not that I haven't found it, there are some awesome people I've met here. I don't need anyone to hold me accountable for my actions, the only one who can do that is ME. I don't need motivation from anyone else, I know what I'm aiming for and that's motivation enough. I don't look for support on the message boards, because I've seen a lot of hangry people here. No thanks. I am grateful for the friends I've made here, they've been a saving grace I appreciate immensely.

    Losing/gaining/maintaining weight is never the same for everyone. It's a struggle a lot of people need help with, and there's no good reason not to give it. There are a lot of desperate, angry, tired, stressed people here who look to make themselves feel better by taking it out on those asking questions. Yeah, you may read the same question 10 times in a row. Yeah, they may ask about a dangerous diet or calorie goal. Being snide and/or sarcastic when answering is wasting your time. The person is not going to listen to you.

    If you give genuine advice and it's ignored, don't take it out on the next person asking. They may very well take your advice and be thankful you took the time to give it.

    False. All the advice I've taken on MFP has been at least slightly snide and always sarcastic. If a person can't see the forest through the tired and long suffering trees well...JSF then. It hurts no one but the people seeking advice.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1088600-dear-mean-people-of-mfp
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.

    Fine. Obese. Semantics.
  • CulturedCowgurl
    CulturedCowgurl Posts: 136 Member
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    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...

    I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....

    Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.

    I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.
  • mgorham13
    mgorham13 Posts: 168 Member
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    Can anyone recommend a good 21 day cleanse? I'm looking to drop that last 60 pounds in the next 30 days!

    Hehehehe just kidding
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
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    My experience on these boards showed me that even though OP's often do not listen to what I and others say.....several other people who read the thread, *do*. And that's a good thing.

    I'd say 5 out of 10 times that I post something and see nothing back from the OP after several people have given great advice, I get a private message from a random person I've never seen before saying, "great advice on that thread about xyz...I need help." People are watching, even if they're "silent" - and *they* are being positively affected.

    That, to me, makes it all worth it to respond to an OP. :)

    Truth is like a rock. People bump up against Truth and Truth doesn't move. Thus the person has to do something about that rock. Some people choose to whine and cry that it "hurts" to bump up against it. Yet some people use that moment to stop and think about why they bumped up against it, and how can they move beyond it. It's that second group I'm interested in reaching, and continue to do so through PM's.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.

    It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?

    I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look. :)
    I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
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    I think there are those who truly are ready to change and are serious when they ask for help and then there are those who think they're ready to change but can't quite make the transition. They ask for help but aren't ready for the harsh reality that they really do have to change in order for change to happen to their bodies. I've been both and I've encountered both on this site.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.

    Fine. Obese. Semantics.

    Just trying to be helpful. Sorry if I was too blunt. :flowerforyou:
  • goodbyefreshman15
    goodbyefreshman15 Posts: 71
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    I think you're correct, although I personally prefer the truth to sympathy.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Yep. And that is exactly why failure rates are so high.

    The idea of losing weight and getting fit is a lot more appealing than the actual commitment of actually losing weight and getting fit, for an awful lot of people.

    The bottom line is that an awful lot of folks are, deep down, comfortable with their obesity and lack of physical fitness.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...

    I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....

    Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.

    I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.

    Rather than losing interest, try to take the advice and adapt it to work for you. Yes, log calories, and yes, weigh food (food scales are super cheap). If the workout isn't what you can do, then adapt it to what you can do. Even a can of soup can function as a hand weight for a new start. Don't take the advice so literally - basically they are just saying mix weight lifting and cardio. Doing some lunges or stairs uses your own body weight for resistance and can count as weight training for a beginner.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.

    Fine. Obese. Semantics.

    Just trying to be helpful. Sorry if I was too blunt. :flowerforyou:

    thanks for the flower! :blushing:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person. Far too many young adults were fat long before they had a say in what and how much they ate. The choice was made for them by parents or care-givers. Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them. But to say that every obese person made themselves that way is simply not true.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.

    It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?

    I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look. :)
    I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.

    There are also ways to phrase things so that they don't sound accusatory - "fault" is generally associated with something bad happening. People who are overweight and want to change are well aware that their decisions got them there (barring medical reasons), so shaming language like that really does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. There is a line between enabling someone and kicking them when they are down.
  • smoofinator
    smoofinator Posts: 635 Member
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    Things I'm sick of hearing...

    "But it worked for my friend's, aunt's, cousin's friend so don't tell me it won't work for me!"

    "I'm netting -600 calories a day and I'm not losing weight??"

    "I workout like CRAZY and I'm not losing weight??" (10 minute walk twice a week)

    "I don't care what you ALL say, the more calories I cut the more I will lose!"
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.

    It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?

    I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look. :)
    I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.

    There are also ways to phrase things so that they don't sound accusatory - "fault" is generally associated with something bad happening. People who are overweight and want to change are well aware that their decisions got them there (barring medical reasons), so shaming language like that really does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. There is a line between enabling someone and kicking them when they are down.

    I used the term because I was answering the post of the previous person, who used the term.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    nope. No help!

    I DO WHAT I WANT
  • Stoshew71
    Stoshew71 Posts: 6,553 Member
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    I do not want any help. I am only merely seeking justification for my bad decisions and poor habbits. If i really wanted help, I would go to Dr. Oz!

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