Why did you dump the person above you?

She didnt like dogs in coats.

Refused to accommodate my fascination with dimples.

She said I looked like Puck from the Real World San Francisco.

because they kept sending me text messages all day saying things like...

I want to wear your privates like a meat mask

or

can I preserve your eyes in a mason jar?

the worst was when they bought me that set of henckel knives (claiming that they were new) for my birthday and when I pulled the first one out of the butchers block there was the stain of blood and a post it note taped to the blade saying "thinking of you"


do you blame me?

She eating another gal's honey and would not share.

wouldnt give me mustache rides

Arrested for writing bad cheques in 13 states.

Kept leaving all his armor *kitten* all over the house, and after umpteen stubbed toes I decided he had to GO.

He brought his G.I. Joe toys to bed.

wouldnt give me mustache rides

The Hell he wouldn't!

LOL

He pulled my shirt above my head and beat me up

Because he owns a kilt and he's not William Wallace.

she kept trying to lick me face!

@haleynorman

She wouldn't let mackenzies lick her face.

Because she hates on men in kilts, and men in kilts are AWESOME.

Off base, but...I like your hair, is that your natural color?

Thank you! It's actually a couple of shades darker, I have a lighter strawberry blonde color naturally, but I like the way the darker red looks with my skin.