In love with a guy who is engaged!

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  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
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    Back off. A decent person would.
    Hear hear.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    What's that saying....if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.

    Seriously though, once you found out he was engaged why didn't you say "Woooooaaaaa! Didn't know that buddy, good luck planning your wedding!"? Not only that do you wanna be with someone who JUST got out of being engaged? That just seems like recipe for disaster.

    Quite frankly, he sounds like the type that has no intent of leaving the fiancée, but does want a "side piece".

    Even if he's a good guy - do you realllly think you could trust him? What if he is working somewhere and finds another "best friend" that "totally gets him" in a way that you don't?

    C'mon girlie, buck up. You're not the first girl to fall for this con.

    p.s. My dad was a notorious cheater, he used the same approach "You get me like no one else does". It's a con. Sorry.
  • piscesjh
    piscesjh Posts: 15 Member
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    It will never ever work, leave it alone, before its too late.
  • chell_dare
    chell_dare Posts: 4
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    There is nothing wrong with realizing you asked the wrong person to marry you and ending it. What is wrong is staying engaged to that person while "shopping around" for the next best thing. Best scenario, he would have already ended it realizing he had made a mistake, on his own without another person in the picture. Even in a best scenario situation, you could end up being the rebound girl. Worst scenario, he wants a last minute fling before making things permanent with his fiancé. The thrill of someone new is a powerful thing, but it burns out fast. The fact that he wasn't open about his engagement when the flirting began is a good indicator of his character. Don't sell yourself short for this guy, you deserve to be more than "the next girl". If you simply walk away and he ends up ending things and comes looking for you further down the road, you'll know it was something more than just a last minute fling.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.

    If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
    lol so true.

    this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...

    people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P

    I think even the best possible relationships take work sometimes, and commitment not to cheat just because you met someone else to whom you're attracted.

    A person with integrity breaks off their current relationship before pursuing a new one.

    fully agree! finding the right person means nothing... its all about who / what YOU are inside...
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.

    If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
    lol so true.

    this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...

    people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! Uh no. lol

    My dad was a serial cheater, and HE told me that "once a cheat, always a cheat". It was during one of his lovely "talks" when I started dating as a teen.
  • LC458
    LC458 Posts: 300 Member
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    Usually it is guys with your mentality. Not saying its wrong but its not my thing. Case and point though why I say I'm just married rather than engaged because then and ONLY then does a guy (or a girl in this case) back off. I'd walk away from the dude but it really is what you make of it.
  • Unashamed1
    Unashamed1 Posts: 5
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    I can't believe you are asking for some advise on this!! I think you know what to do! If this guy say he care for you like I know he is telling you, then he should leave you alone and stop be playing with your emotions. Bottom line is, How would you feel if it was being done to you? If the relationship is that bad, why is he still engaged? RESPECT YOURSELF BECAUSE HE IS NOT GOING TO!!!
  • ninnyfurr74
    ninnyfurr74 Posts: 111 Member
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    OK, I'm not even going to go into the whole cheating topic. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. What I want to point out is that maybe he is who HE is with you BECAUSE you are not his "Girlfriend". Just a friend that happens to be female. Flirting is not always meant as romantic interest. I have male friends in my life who have been there for over 20 years now. We hang out, we talk, we share similar interests, we flirt. We have been there through thick and thin. I would not trade that friendship for any of my relationships. Let it be.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
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    Go for it girl! What are you waiting for?! Obviously you get him WAY more than that other girl..and just think of the romantic story you'll have for future children when you tell them how the man who's meant for YOU was actually engaged to some silly other woman, but your love beat all odds in the end once he realized that you were the only one to get the secrets of his SOUL. ERMMAHGAD ROMANCE! :flowerforyou:

    25ft24k.gif
  • karl39x
    karl39x Posts: 586 Member
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    Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

    Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

    How long have you even known this guy?

    6 months.

    Slut!.gif
  • hstoblish
    hstoblish Posts: 234 Member
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    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.

    What? He's not married, she wouldn't BE a freaking "home wrecker."

    People get out of engagements ALL THE TIME. Get engaged to someone, then they meet someone else, etc. etc.

    The way I see it, there isn't a ring on his finger, anything could happen still.
    Tell him how you feel, be completely honest about it, and if he feels the same way, he'll have some serious thinking to do. If he keeps playing you along, while remaining engaged to be married, he's a d-bag playing around with your feelings and you need to get away.

    And if he marries his fiance... Do not pursue!

    No, no ring on HIS finger... man. What about this other person. Engagements can (and often are) placeholders while you plan a wedding and a marriage. This is still a relationship, and you're either the kind of person who respects that or you're not.
  • j0705
    j0705 Posts: 185
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    If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.

    If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
    lol so true.

    this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...

    people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! Uh no. lol

    My dad was a serial cheater, and HE told me that "once a cheat, always a cheat". It was during one of his lovely "talks" when I started dating as a teen.

    like i said .. if someone cheats then they arent with the right person. ill admit ive cheated, then i met the right person and was faithful for 20 yrs. :P
  • Unashamed1
    Unashamed1 Posts: 5
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    Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

    Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

    You must understand when you ask a question you are now at the mercy of other people's mentalities. You will get responses that you don't like and you might not agree with; therefore, you if you are only conditioned to hear what you like or what you are comfortable with, please don't asked questions because the truth hurts sometimes.
  • Pete0725
    Pete0725 Posts: 36 Member
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    I'm not going to bash the guy because there's two sides to each story and we are only hearing one side. So i think the folks that are saying he is a loser should just chill and stop judging. Dude may have set her straight and she failed to see or hear it. Sometimes we hear what we want to hear.
  • erulasse
    erulasse Posts: 141 Member
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    Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

    Mature would be not letting your feelings and naïveté rule your better judgement; a mature person would look at this situation, gather a little dignity and say NOPE. He's taken, he's obviously a **** person for stringing other women along when he's engaged.

    If he was a decent guy and if he really wanted you, he'd have left her ages ago. Right now you're thinking about taking something that isn't yours. Grow up, get some empathy for this poor woman and move on... There are billions of other men out there.
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