In love with a guy who is engaged!
Replies
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Anyone who is engaged is off limits. Period.
If he doesn't treat his fiancé with more respect than to flirt with other girls, why would you think he'd treat you better?
People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.
He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women.
Well said.0 -
lol so true.If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.
If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!0 -
In the history of mankind, this story has played out at least 300 times, in every bar, every night. Also in every office, in every classroom, and in every church.
Good lord. It's a pick-up line.
"She doesn't 'get' me like you" is the world's best and oldest pick-up line.
Here's how it plays out. He tosses hints and waits for you to make a move. You make a move and he pounces on it. Then, once the deed is done, he suddenly finds his conscience, tells you how much he loves her, and you end up exactly where you were before, minus your dignity.0 -
In the history of mankind, this story has played out at least 300 times, in every bar, every night. Also in every office, in every classroom, and in every church.
Good lord. It's a pick-up line.
"She doesn't 'get' me like you" is the world's best and oldest pick-up line.
Here's how it plays out. He tosses hints and waits for you to make a move. You make a move and he pounces on it. Then, once the deed is done, he suddenly finds his conscience, tells you how much he loves her, and you end up exactly where you were before, minus your dignity.
Dude's got mad skilz. I bet she at least gets the big O.0 -
******People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.******
He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women
Actually disgusted by the amount of people that say it doesn't count because he's not married... There are people that have been together (unmarried) for decades; does that rule apply to them too?
Think about his poor fiance, excitedly planning their future together whilst he's off spinning lines to the nearest pretty little thing (OP) that he can find.
Pretty horrid that you'd even consider doing this to another human being, have you never been cheated on? It's one of the most painful things in the world, don't be a part of it!
true actually.. he doesnt have to be married but shes still not to blame for wrecking anything when he is the one who is already in a relationship.0 -
All the nope. All of it is one tremendous flashing red light alerting you to the fact that this is not what you think it is. There is a reason why men in these situations using phrases like "she doesn't understand me the way you do" or "she doesn't get me like you do" has become a cliche. It's not, as the makers of terrible movies would have you believe, a terrible pick up line. It is something that, in that moment, they genuinely believe to be true. The reality, however, is that their wife / fiancee / girlfriend has heard all of this stuff before. Honestly, they have. It's just no longer interesting to them. All of that deep, soul-baring conversation, the appreciation of those odd little quirks, they get buried under the day to day of a grown up relationship. She's seen that deep, soulful side of him. She's also seen him spend three straight hours farting into her sofa. She's lost interest in his esoterics because she is busy building a life with him in the real world. If he doesn't want that life then he should absolutely break off the engagement. But not because of you. And not with you waiting for him when he falls. The issue here is emotional immaturity, and you catching him when he shatters his world will only make that worse. It's fine if he wants you and not her. That's not a crime. But he has to end it with her, and then get over her, before he starts anything with you. From what you're saying it doesn't seem like either one of you is prepared to give it that kind of time.
Source: A lifetime of screwing up relationships and hurting truly decent women because "OMG I found my MUSE!!!".
This is perfect. I wish it could be made into a poster and given to every child when they hit puberty.0 -
Hit it and get it out of your system OP.
^^you must be a guy.. im totally not surprised then.. WTH!!!^^^
ROFL.. tee hee
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Looking for a little advice. I met a guy while at work, and we really hit it off. We are very close friends, and seem to have everything in common. We get along better than anyone I've ever met in my life, and quickly became good friends. We talk a lot outside of work, and even text each other on the weekends and nights and holidays. I now consider him one of my best friends. Only problem is, he is engaged. And to my defense, we flirted and I fell for him before he ever told me he was engaged.
I flirt quite a lot with this guy, and he flirts right back to me. He also confides things in me that he says he can't tell his fiance because she won't understand, or she just doesn't "get it" like I do. He invited me to the movies one night when his fiance was staying late at work. He hasn't tried anything, and I haven't either, but there is a ton of flirting going on here and also deep conversations. I honestly feel like if I had met this guy and he was single, we would be together in a heartbeat and I feel like this is the guy I should marry. But he is engaged!
This job is coming to an end, and I feel like it's now or never. I feel like if I don't say something to him, I will live with regret for the rest of my life and always wonder "what if?". I feel that the worst thing that could happen is he never talks to me again and marries his fiance. And then the best thing that could happen is that he doesn't.
Thoughts? Opinions? Advice for me?
theres other guys out there. dont be that KIND of girl... have a little more respect for yourself...0 -
Sounds like a bad idea to me...
Go for the nerdy guy at the gym with muscles.... He only has eyes for you, and wouldn't flirt with other women when your engaged to him, when you weren't looking.0 -
Ugh this makes me sick.0
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lol so true.If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.
If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...0 -
Hit it and get it out of your system OP.
^^you must be a guy.. im totally not surprised then.. WTH!!!^^^
ROFL.. tee hee
I know, I am suuuch a typical guy. :laugh:0 -
If you tell him how you feel then what have you done wrong? Nothing. Say how you feel. If you however do anything other than just say how you feel knowing he's engaged then you're equally guilty. If this guy and you are so good and are meant to be and this guy feels the same way about you then he'll dump his soon to be wife and he'll start trying with you. If he doesn't feel that way and he loves his soon to be wife more because he feels like he wants to be with her for the rest of his life then he'll obviously go with her. If he's just some guy who just wants to have sex then he'll just do you then not care the next day.
my advice? Tell him how you feel and get it off your chest. You'll live life with no regrets when you do. Don't have sex or even kiss until he makes the decision of whether he'll have something with you after he dumps his current girl, or just remain friends if he decides to be with his wife.0 -
I'm with everyone above, don't do to someone what you would not wont done to you. Do the right thing because clearly he is'nt.
You are pretty & smart just be smart enough to know when you are been led up the path way. Walk away
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Hit it and get it out of your system OP.
^^you must be a guy.. im totally not surprised then.. WTH!!!^^^
ROFL.. tee hee
I know, I am suuuch a typical guy. :laugh:
ba ha ha ha this threads fun 0 -
lol so true.If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.
If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...
people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P0 -
I FEEL FOR YOU...... BUT...... People do this to other people all the time. Its sad when guys want the attention of many, many women.... and are NEVER SATISFIED.
IF HE PLAYS THESE KIND OF GAMES WITH YOU - YOU WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO TRUST HIM.
ITS NOT THAT YOU GUYS ARE CLOSE..... SO MANY PEOPLE ARE WEAK, AND INSECURE AND FEEL THEY NEED A COUPLE OF STAND BYS.... OR BACK-UPS IN CASE THEY DECIDE TO DROP #1.... HIS OVERALL BEHAVIOR IS NOT DECENT..... HE PULLED YOU INTO A RELATIONSHIP (OF SORTS) AND YOU FELL FOR IT WITHOUT HAVING ALL THE INFO.
PLEASE DON'T GO THINKING HE'S DOING YOU ANY FAVORS! THATS HOW CON ARTISTS WORK! ITS A TYPICAL CON! ITS AN UNDER-HANDED SCHEME.
ITS A RED FLAG......
A REALLY RED FLAG!
RUN.... DON'T WALK!
SERIOUSLY.... YOU DESERVE BETTER.....
GET REAL WITH YOURSELF....... THE EYES ARE THE WINDOWS OF THE SOUL..... IS HE ABLE TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYES AND TALK ABOUT HER WITH A STRAIGHT FACE?
DO YOU LIKE THIS QUALITY IN A MAN?
IF SO - JUST GIVE IT AWHILE, AND IT WILL COME HOME TO HAUNT YOU.
SERIOUSLY...... TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE EQUATION. :-)0 -
If you tell him how you feel then what have you done wrong? Nothing. Say how you feel. If you however do anything other than just say how you feel knowing he's engaged then you're equally guilty. If this guy and you are so good and are meant to be and this guy feels the same way about you then he'll dump his soon to be wife and he'll start trying with you. If he doesn't feel that way and he loves his soon to be wife more because he feels like he wants to be with her for the rest of his life then he'll obviously go with her. If he's just some guy who just wants to have sex then he'll just do you then not care the next day.
my advice? Tell him how you feel and get it off your chest. You'll live life with no regrets when you do. Don't have sex or even kiss until he makes the decision of whether he'll have something with you after he dumps his current girl, or just remain friends if he decides to be with his wife.
what he said ^^^^^^ but dont remain friends it will tear you to pieces and you need to move on.0 -
lol so true.If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.
If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...
people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P
i disagree. there are people who have sex addictions, and they cheat, regardless... there are people who have personality disorders or emotional disorders who will cheat, without thinking about it, because at times they act irrational... either your that kind od person or your not. even if your not madly in love with someone, if your a good person, you break it off before starting in with someone else... otherwise, your a cheating *kitten*. cheating on a person, breaking that trust, is a betrayal that speaks to your character... right person or not, you either have a trashy character, or you dont.0 -
lol so true.If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.
If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...
people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P
I think even the best possible relationships take work sometimes, and commitment not to cheat just because you met someone else to whom you're attracted.
A person with integrity breaks off their current relationship before pursuing a new one.0 -
Hear hear.Back off. A decent person would.0 -
What's that saying....if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.
Seriously though, once you found out he was engaged why didn't you say "Woooooaaaaa! Didn't know that buddy, good luck planning your wedding!"? Not only that do you wanna be with someone who JUST got out of being engaged? That just seems like recipe for disaster.
Quite frankly, he sounds like the type that has no intent of leaving the fiancée, but does want a "side piece".
Even if he's a good guy - do you realllly think you could trust him? What if he is working somewhere and finds another "best friend" that "totally gets him" in a way that you don't?
C'mon girlie, buck up. You're not the first girl to fall for this con.
p.s. My dad was a notorious cheater, he used the same approach "You get me like no one else does". It's a con. Sorry.0 -
It will never ever work, leave it alone, before its too late.0
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There is nothing wrong with realizing you asked the wrong person to marry you and ending it. What is wrong is staying engaged to that person while "shopping around" for the next best thing. Best scenario, he would have already ended it realizing he had made a mistake, on his own without another person in the picture. Even in a best scenario situation, you could end up being the rebound girl. Worst scenario, he wants a last minute fling before making things permanent with his fiancé. The thrill of someone new is a powerful thing, but it burns out fast. The fact that he wasn't open about his engagement when the flirting began is a good indicator of his character. Don't sell yourself short for this guy, you deserve to be more than "the next girl". If you simply walk away and he ends up ending things and comes looking for you further down the road, you'll know it was something more than just a last minute fling.0
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lol so true.If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.
If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...
people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P
I think even the best possible relationships take work sometimes, and commitment not to cheat just because you met someone else to whom you're attracted.
A person with integrity breaks off their current relationship before pursuing a new one.
fully agree! finding the right person means nothing... its all about who / what YOU are inside...0 -
lol so true.If you pine after an engaged man, and he stays with his fiance, you will be brokenhearted.
If you pine after an engaged man, and he leaves his fiance for you, then you are stuck with a man who would leave his fiance. Enjoy planning your wedding!
this 100%... what makes you any different than her, either hes a *kitten* and will betray his FIANCE, or he wont... and if he will, then he will do it to you too... and, likewise, either your the type of girl who would insert yourself into someone elses relationship, or your not... and there are names for girls who will...
people always say once a cheat always a cheat.. its bs . If you have found the right person you wont cheat... simple :P
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Uh no. lol
My dad was a serial cheater, and HE told me that "once a cheat, always a cheat". It was during one of his lovely "talks" when I started dating as a teen.0 -
Usually it is guys with your mentality. Not saying its wrong but its not my thing. Case and point though why I say I'm just married rather than engaged because then and ONLY then does a guy (or a girl in this case) back off. I'd walk away from the dude but it really is what you make of it.0
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I can't believe you are asking for some advise on this!! I think you know what to do! If this guy say he care for you like I know he is telling you, then he should leave you alone and stop be playing with your emotions. Bottom line is, How would you feel if it was being done to you? If the relationship is that bad, why is he still engaged? RESPECT YOURSELF BECAUSE HE IS NOT GOING TO!!!0
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OK, I'm not even going to go into the whole cheating topic. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. What I want to point out is that maybe he is who HE is with you BECAUSE you are not his "Girlfriend". Just a friend that happens to be female. Flirting is not always meant as romantic interest. I have male friends in my life who have been there for over 20 years now. We hang out, we talk, we share similar interests, we flirt. We have been there through thick and thin. I would not trade that friendship for any of my relationships. Let it be.0
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Go for it girl! What are you waiting for?! Obviously you get him WAY more than that other girl..and just think of the romantic story you'll have for future children when you tell them how the man who's meant for YOU was actually engaged to some silly other woman, but your love beat all odds in the end once he realized that you were the only one to get the secrets of his SOUL. ERMMAHGAD ROMANCE! :flowerforyou:
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