In love with a guy who is engaged!

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  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    "it's now or never...."



    Ummm... Never.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I think you should tell him how you feel, and back off. If he feels the same way you do-then so be it but you would have to back off to let that play out. Otherwise, it all seems like wishful thinking on your part. And I do agree with other posters in saying: There is a chance he's just that kind of guy and likes the side connections on top of the main squeeze he's got at home. So I'd beware if I were you.
  • yelliezx
    yelliezx Posts: 633 Member
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    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiance behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
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    Move on. I know it will hurt, but it is the right thing to do.:flowerforyou:
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
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    Dance at his bachelor's party.
    You can be his last "fling."
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
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    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.

    What? He's not married, she wouldn't BE a freaking "home wrecker."

    People get out of engagements ALL THE TIME. Get engaged to someone, then they meet someone else, etc. etc.

    The way I see it, there isn't a ring on his finger, anything could happen still.
    Tell him how you feel, be completely honest about it, and if he feels the same way, he'll have some serious thinking to do. If he keeps playing you along, while remaining engaged to be married, he's a d-bag playing around with your feelings and you need to get away.

    And if he marries his fiance... Do not pursue!

    If they live together then she would be a home wrecker...

    That is absolutely ridiculous to pursue an engaged person because they click...he asked this girl to MARRY him, he's not just dating some other chick...by the time you get engaged you are pretty freaking serious about this other person.

    OP you need to back off out of respect for his fiancee...if they break up then fair game and more power to you, but do not be the reason they break up.
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
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    Don't be that girl!!! Please move on..
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,529 Member
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    Wait, he can tell you things that he can't tell his fiancee? And you believed it? Trust when I say as a guy, if he hasn't left his fiancee for you by now, then he just isn't that into you. Sorry.

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  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    This is an easy one.

    Find out where they are going to be one night and show up. See how he acts. You will for sure know where you stand then.
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
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    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.
  • gmhaggie06
    gmhaggie06 Posts: 207
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    Engaged doesn't mean ANYTHING, go for it! If I had to worry about my wife loving someone else I wouldn't have married her. All engaged means is that he's "planning" on marrying someone, he's not locked down yet! Maybe you'll both fall in love any marry each other one day, then it will have been totally worth it!
  • a_stronger_me13
    a_stronger_me13 Posts: 812 Member
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    I feel like you throw the word love around pretty loosely.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.

    Not rude. FACT.
  • jooles48
    jooles48 Posts: 14
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    He already knows how you feel based on how you act with him, he is still engaged, he has made his decision time for you to make yours. Walk away.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

    Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you. :)

    WOW. Calling this rude would be an understatement.

    Not rude. FACT.

    Not really, she is not doing anything wrong here. He is the one engaged, not her. It is not girls like this that should make anyone sick, it is guys like him that give the rest of the men out there a bad name.
  • KenziesFrenzies
    KenziesFrenzies Posts: 1,014 Member
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    Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

    There are other guys in this world, I promise.

    What? He's not married, she wouldn't BE a freaking "home wrecker."

    People get out of engagements ALL THE TIME. Get engaged to someone, then they meet someone else, etc. etc.

    The way I see it, there isn't a ring on his finger, anything could happen still.
    Tell him how you feel, be completely honest about it, and if he feels the same way, he'll have some serious thinking to do. If he keeps playing you along, while remaining engaged to be married, he's a d-bag playing around with your feelings and you need to get away.

    And if he marries his fiance... Do not pursue!

    If they live together then she would be a home wrecker...

    That is absolutely ridiculous to pursue an engaged person because they click...he asked this girl to MARRY him, he's not just dating some other chick...by the time you get engaged you are pretty freaking serious about this other person.

    OP you need to back off out of respect for his fiancee...if they break up then fair game and more power to you, but do not be the reason they break up.

    We don't know if they live together.

    And it's not ridiculous to pursue an engaged person; who's to say that you won't meet the love of your life after you've already agreed to marry someone else?

    If I was the guy in this scenario, and found myself loving the OP more than my fiance, it wouldn't be fair to the fiance to marry her when my heart belonged to someone else. That'd be the true d*ck move, if you ask me.

    If he wants to be with her, he will be, and if he doesn't.. he'll marry his fiance. But either way, I think she should make her feelings known.
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
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    So you want him to cheat with you, then dump the girl that he is engaged to??? I have a hard time seeing this end well. He might be flirting, wrong yes, but that might just be him. Thinking that it could go somewhere..... He told you that he was engaged, that to me is a clear sign that he was putting up a border. Would he cross it, maybe, but will he end it to leave her for you to live happily ever after, extremely doubtful.

    If he is a friend leave it at that, if not, leave it alone.
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
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    ok here's my take....

    the guy obviously isn't scared around women....he's engaged to one and very easily made friends with you...

    he's NOT shy....

    so the fact that he hasn't addressed any "connection/attraction/feelings in that way" at this point means...he's probably not feeling it like you are....

    and he's happy where he is...with a great fiance and a kick *kitten* BFF who happens to be a girl.

    perhaps you should take that hint and walk away before someone *you* gets hurt.

    don't assume he's too shy to express what you are feeling and so obviously he must be too.
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
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    Thanks for all of the responses. Some are a little harsh, but totally expected.

    For the record: I haven't tried anything with him out of respect for his fiance.

    Also, to the person who said he made his choice by asking her to marry him, not me, well I met him after he was engaged so how does that work? Do people not think that you can be engaged and realize that you made the wrong choice about who to ask to marry, because maybe you hadn't met that right person yet? Yes, no, maybe?
  • jxchambe
    jxchambe Posts: 49 Member
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    Bump....I want o see how this plays out.

    But dont do it....dumb.
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