In love with a guy who is engaged!
Replies
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How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.
Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you.
He is a complete loser for doing this to his poor fiancee and this... girl is completely wrong for encouraging an engaged man. I'll rephrase that. PEOPLE like that make me sick.
If someone else's business riles you up this strongly you really need to check yourself. That's not healthy at all.
She's free to have feelings. He's free to have feelings. We're all human. Sometimes things happen and life doesn't go the way we were expecting it to.
But I would agree that this guy does sound like bad news. If he had broken off the engagement already it would be one thing. I would be cautious.
They're free to have feelings but if he is still with his fiancee then that's obviously the decision he has made! It riles me up because I think about if some girl was having an emotional relationship with my boyfriend, knowing that he is with me, I'd feel so disrespected and cheated. Obviously the guy is a complete @#$%^&&* and he is an awful person for either flirting with this girl or pursuing somebody else while he is in a committed relationship but she is the one writing a post about it. She knows right from wrong and this is OBVIOUSLY wrong. Ugh.
This...it takes 2. She's not innocent.0 -
Just stop. This is bad news all around. If he won't stop, you definitely should. Here's the thing...he's engaged. He is already someones. Imagine how she would feel, if she knew he was canoodling with this other girl, hanging out with her and telling her all these things that he feels she just doesn't "get." Say, you win....say he leaves her and goes to you. How do you know he isn't gonna go and just do the same thing to you? Find another girl who he feels can fulfill him better. You have to end it. Tell him you've loved the time you spent together and consider him a great friend at this point, but he has a fiancee and should really be trying to work things out with her (be it staying together, or separating.) I'm really sorry you're in this situation, as I know this is really hard. But you have to do what is right, and I think you know the right thing isn't helping him cheat.0
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It just seems there is some strong attractions and will probably turn into a mess. I think YOU really like him and want to see things a certain way.. NOT Judging just my opinion.0
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Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
Just sayin', you know what you are doing is wrong. Just admit it and keep doing it. Ultimately he is the one at fault since he is violating the trust of his partner, unless you are friends with his fiance.0 -
Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
Don't need to know the whole story to get the picture. Having the attention of another woman makes him feel good so he's stringing you along while keeping his engagement. And you are playing right along with it and acting innocent. Either tell him how you feel, wreck his relationship, and have him cheat on you emotionally and possibly physically after a few years... or move along and find a man worth your time who is SINGLE.0 -
Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.
There are other guys in this world, I promise.
This!0 -
If you end up engaged to him he will just find a "new best friend" and will tell her you "just don't get him".
Move on and be glad he is someone elses problem.
Don't agree you'd be a homewrecker, but do agree with this ^^^0 -
Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
lol because it's an internet forum. of course people don't know you or him. we are going off what you provided, and it sounds sketchy the way he flirts but is engaged to be married. if she doesn't get him like you do, he shouldn't be with her still while flirting with you.0 -
I know what it feels like to fall for someone involved. and It's hard to walk away but it's best for you if you do. He obviously doesn't care about you or his fiancé if he's stringing you along and lying to her. do yourself a favor and walk away. because what happens if he dumps his fiancé and gets involved with you? Who's to say he wont turn and go flirt with another woman and take her to the movies while you're late at work? free yourself from the jerk.0
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Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
How long have you even known this guy?
What i was thinking.. He is a co-worker he can make himself to be anything he wants to come off as. I married my wife cuz i knew in my heart i could trust her and that she would always understand me and be there for me... aside from her being super hot. "oh i want to marry you cuz you don't get me".... wait... what?0 -
It sounds like he's testing the waters because he's getting cold feet. Don't think your anything special to him. His ego just wants to know he can get it. I can't believe people are saying he's not married yet. There are plenty of people who don't believe in marriage but are committed to each other. A piece of paper shouldn't be the reason why you keep your pants on. Hell we all know if someone wants to cheat they will their title doesn't mean Anything...0
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I wouldn't want a relationship with a guy who behaved like that, honestly. The whole "but my fiancee doesn't get me like you do" line sounds super shady, and I'm betting he didn't tell her he went to the movies with you.0
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Anyone who is engaged is off limits. Period.
If he doesn't treat his fiancé with more respect than to flirt with other girls, why would you think he'd treat you better?
People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.
He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women.0 -
Pass the popcorn0
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Anyone who is engaged is off limits. Period.
If he doesn't treat his fiancé with more respect than to flirt with other girls, why would you think he'd treat you better?
People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.
He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women.
:drinker: YES0 -
Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
How long have you even known this guy?
6 months.0 -
Anyone who is engaged is off limits. Period.
If he doesn't treat his fiancé with more respect than to flirt with other girls, why would you think he'd treat you better?
******People are giving you blunt advice because this is an extremely simple situation.******
He's just not that into you. If he were, he'd be engaged to you.
He's obviously just not that into his fiancé either. If he were, he wouldn't be flirting with other women.
THANK YOU0 -
If you want a guy who flirts outrageously while he's engaged to someone else -- go for it. Break them up (you'll certainly be doing HER a favor!), and you can both go off and be the kind of people you really are, no pretenses. Of course, it won't be long before you don't "get" him any more, and some cute little thing will be pouring on the charm and listening sympathetically to his problems with YOU. With any luck, by then you will have discovered another shiny piece of tinsel hanging from a branch and you'll be flirting your head off too, and wondering what's the "right" thing to do....0
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The fact that you're considering wrecking another couple suggests that you need to get a little distance from this man to clear your head. I think you need to just get away from this guy and this situation. I'm not trying to sound judgmental. I just think you're losing yourself. Ask yourself if you really want to wreck someone else's engagement. And ask yourself how you would feel if someone did that to you. Forget all this talk of missed opportunities and unanswered questions. Don't do it because you're going to loathe yourself for it later.0
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Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
How long have you even known this guy?
6 months.
6 months and you think he could be the one you marry?
I'm not trying to be mean, but do you get a lot of attention from guys normally or is this kind of a first?0 -
hes not married.. I say go for it.. just my opinion.. you will regret not telling him . .. even if it does not work out and he does not feel the same way.. you will 100% regret not telling him..
you are not being a home wrecker.. he is not married.
and if he does feel this way too, its better he face it now then after hes married.
GO FOR IT!!!0 -
If this couple are not right for each other then it will fall apart in its own time regardless of your input, these things generally do. So could you just stay in touch, maybe through social media or something, to see what happens to them? If they break it off then you would be free to tell him how you feel without feeling guilty about breaking up a couple, if they don't then maybe they really were meant for each other, and in the meantime it leaves you free to meet Mr Right, maybe somebody in a less complicated situation!0
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He ain't married yet dear. Do the damn thing!0
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hes not married.. I say go for it.. just my opinion.. you will regret not telling him . .. even if it does not work out and he does not feel the same way.. you will 100% regret not telling him..
you are not being a home wrecker.. he is not married. and if he does feel this way too, its better he face it now then after hes married.
GO FOR IT!!!
i agree with this.
if she's wrecking their relationship just by being honest then the relationship was already wrecked to begin with. just because she says something doesnt mean the guy will comply, or are some of the people in this thread so sexist that they really believe that a guy can't turn down any woman who's interested in him?0 -
Hi seajolly!
I would just like to say, woman to woman, I've been in this sitch recently.
I worked with a guy that every part of us was clicking. Problem was... I had someone, he had someone.
He was considering moving in with his GF and did, yet we still texted.
Then things got boring. I never thought they would, as talking to him was so exciting. I think it was a "fling" in my mind, but if I could go back, I would never have given him the time of day. I realized that it's not okay 1) on my part as I had someone and 2) I didnt know HER. What would she do if she read some of those texts? It would have crushed her. And no faithful, loving woman deserves that.
Dont ruin their engagement. She is probably planning their wedding and is thrilled to be doing so. And chances are, he is excited too. Some guys get scared like little dogs trapped in a corner, and they act out. You are who he's acting out on. I'm sorry honey.
You will love yourself so much more for moving on and letting him go. You will find someone someday and the "story of how you met" will be much cuter to tell your kids than "He was engaged to someone else and we talked behind her back..."
Please move on girl. You'll thank yourself later, I promise
Ps. posting stuff on MFP threads is like swimming in a pool of sharks and dolphins... you're going to get a lot of attacks. Be careful when reading some of the other posts... dont let the negativity bring you down 0 -
Based off info given, it's reasonable to believe the guy views her as a female BFF and opie is the one who caught feelings. If it's been 6 months and he hasn't even tried to kiss you or broken up with his fiancé ...
HE IS NOT THAT INTO YOU.0 -
I wouldn't want a relationship with a guy who behaved like that, honestly.
this, over and over.
even if his engagement does end, and hes all yours for the taking....dont think that he wont do the same thing to you.0 -
Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
How long have you even known this guy?
6 months.
Then my advice is walk away! He has been engaged to this other woman for probably longer then 6 months and hasn't changed his mind about getting married to her. If he was really doubting marrying her then I do believe he would have made that clear.
second
put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself how you would feel about the situation if you were her.0 -
Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?
Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.
I stopped reading here. You posted asking for advice - do not get upset when you get it. Secondly, it sounds like you have made up and your mind and want affirmation. No affirmation from me either. I say get out........wait, I'm sure I'm just jumping to conclusions as well.
/exits thread0 -
I think he's playing you
if he had seriously strong feelings for you he would have broken it off with his fiancé, I would tell him how you feel and it would be best not to be alone with each other until he thinks what he wants, I know he's not married but he is still in a serious relationship and to take this any further would be horrible for the other girl, if he genuinely thinks u both have a spark he will call of his engagement and keep his distance until he figures out his head...but I suspect he may try take what he wants and leave u heartbroken,
Could also be just a fear of settling down if his other half is putting pressure to marry soon
Whatever u decide good luck and always remember that there is someone for everyone x0
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