In love with a guy who is engaged!

Beastmode454

unless a couple is into that kinda weird ****.

yelliezx

How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you.

He is a complete loser for doing this to his poor fiancee and this... girl is completely wrong for encouraging an engaged man. I'll rephrase that. PEOPLE like that make me sick.

If someone else's business riles you up this strongly you really need to check yourself. That's not healthy at all.

She's free to have feelings. He's free to have feelings. We're all human. Sometimes things happen and life doesn't go the way we were expecting it to.

But I would agree that this guy does sound like bad news. If he had broken off the engagement already it would be one thing. I would be cautious.

They're free to have feelings but if he is still with his fiancee then that's obviously the decision he has made! It riles me up because I think about if some girl was having an emotional relationship with my boyfriend, knowing that he is with me, I'd feel so disrespected and cheated. Obviously the guy is a complete @#$%^&&* and he is an awful person for either flirting with this girl or pursuing somebody else while he is in a committed relationship but she is the one writing a post about it. She knows right from wrong and this is OBVIOUSLY wrong. Ugh.

Soccermavrick

So you think he thinks he might have made a mistake??? So if he never met you, he gets married and lives happily ever after, but because he met you, now he cannot.

if he made a mistake then, he ends it, but the fact that he told you that he was engaged tells me that he is not having second thoughts. Either he thinks he is a player and playing you, or I think that you are misreading him badly.

If you want to do Anything, point out that your job is ending, mention that you will miss him, then Purposely Avoid him and all calls. If you think his feelings are so strong see how he acts. But honestly, I think you are the other woman, and either asking/begging for trouble or being played.

MinMin97

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

Does "mature" mean that we give you the thumbs up?

keem88

if he' engaged and acting like that what's to say if you do get together with him he wouldn't then act that way with another female? i personally wouldn't want to be with someone who is engaged that flirts like that. he needs to end things with her if he can't talk to her about **** and goes out with you while she's working late.

yelliezx

Next time he starts flirting with you tell him to stop and say it feels wrong because he is engaged. That would make him think about whether it is harmless flirting or whether he actually has feelings for you.
Then its up to him what to do about it.

Exactly.

KenziesFrenzies

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

Does "mature" mean that we give you the thumbs up?

I think mature just means *not* calling her a trollop.
(NOT NAMING NAMES OR ANYTHING...)

Seajolly

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

Does "mature" mean that we give you the thumbs up?

No, absolutely not. It's fine if you disagree - in fact I expected 95% of people to respond to disagree! But there's one thing to give advice and disagree, and another thing to call me a homewrecker and various forms of tramp.

SaintGiff

I doubt that this will get read because I don't exactly look like a person you get relationship advice from, but...

This does not end the way you want it to. Look, in theory I'm right there with you. Yes, you can meet the exact perfect person even after you've asked someone else to marry you. Even after you've married someone else. That happens all the time and it doesn't make anyone involved a bad person. Every relationship is day to day when you get right down to it. There are times in even the strongest marriages where one person will wake up in the morning, look over that the person laying next to them, and just have nothing. Just... nothing. But you stay. You choose to stay because you know that very recently you felt a ton for them. And you know that they feel a ton for you. And you've built a life. So you stay. And after a few days or weeks or months you wake up in the morning, look over, and it all clicks again. That's just being human. Every relationship is a choice you make every day. However....

...He also confides things in me that he says he can't tell his fiance because she won't understand, or she just doesn't "get it" like I do. He invited me to the movies one night when his fiance was staying late at work. He hasn't tried anything, and I haven't either, but there is a ton of flirting going on here and also deep conversations. I honestly feel like if I had met this guy and he was single, we would be together in a heartbeat and I feel like this is the guy I should marry....

All the nope. All of it is one tremendous flashing red light alerting you to the fact that this is not what you think it is. There is a reason why men in these situations using phrases like "she doesn't understand me the way you do" or "she doesn't get me like you do" has become a cliche. It's not, as the makers of terrible movies would have you believe, a terrible pick up line. It is something that, in that moment, they genuinely believe to be true. The reality, however, is that their wife / fiancee / girlfriend has heard all of this stuff before. Honestly, they have. It's just no longer interesting to them. All of that deep, soul-baring conversation, the appreciation of those odd little quirks, they get buried under the day to day of a grown up relationship. She's seen that deep, soulful side of him. She's also seen him spend three straight hours farting into her sofa. She's lost interest in his esoterics because she is busy building a life with him in the real world. If he doesn't want that life then he should absolutely break off the engagement. But not because of you. And not with you waiting for him when he falls. The issue here is emotional immaturity, and you catching him when he shatters his world will only make that worse. It's fine if he wants you and not her. That's not a crime. But he has to end it with her, and then get over her, before he starts anything with you. From what you're saying it doesn't seem like either one of you is prepared to give it that kind of time.

Source: A lifetime of screwing up relationships and hurting truly decent women because "OMG I found my MUSE!!!".

lsorci919

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

How long have you even known this guy?

wolfsbayne

How would you feel if somebody were doing this kind of thing with your fiancee behind your back? Girls like you make me sick. There are billions of other men out there and you go for one that is taken. Shame on you! He sounds like an absolute loser too. Maybe you two deserve each other. Pathetic.

Edited to say: If you do get your way and you two are together, I hope he does exactly the same thing to you.

He is a complete loser for doing this to his poor fiancee and this... girl is completely wrong for encouraging an engaged man. I'll rephrase that. PEOPLE like that make me sick.

If someone else's business riles you up this strongly you really need to check yourself. That's not healthy at all.

She's free to have feelings. He's free to have feelings. We're all human. Sometimes things happen and life doesn't go the way we were expecting it to.

But I would agree that this guy does sound like bad news. If he had broken off the engagement already it would be one thing. I would be cautious.

They're free to have feelings but if he is still with his fiancee then that's obviously the decision he has made! It riles me up because I think about if some girl was having an emotional relationship with my boyfriend, knowing that he is with me, I'd feel so disrespected and cheated. Obviously the guy is a complete @#$%^&&* and he is an awful person for either flirting with this girl or pursuing somebody else while he is in a committed relationship but she is the one writing a post about it. She knows right from wrong and this is OBVIOUSLY wrong. Ugh.

This...it takes 2. She's not innocent.

CoffeeNBooze

Just stop. This is bad news all around. If he won't stop, you definitely should. Here's the thing...he's engaged. He is already someones. Imagine how she would feel, if she knew he was canoodling with this other girl, hanging out with her and telling her all these things that he feels she just doesn't "get." Say, you win....say he leaves her and goes to you. How do you know he isn't gonna go and just do the same thing to you? Find another girl who he feels can fulfill him better. You have to end it. Tell him you've loved the time you spent together and consider him a great friend at this point, but he has a fiancee and should really be trying to work things out with her (be it staying together, or separating.) I'm really sorry you're in this situation, as I know this is really hard. But you have to do what is right, and I think you know the right thing isn't helping him cheat.

Beastmode454

It just seems there is some strong attractions and will probably turn into a mess. I think YOU really like him and want to see things a certain way.. NOT Judging just my opinion.

wheird

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

Just sayin', you know what you are doing is wrong. Just admit it and keep doing it. Ultimately he is the one at fault since he is violating the trust of his partner, unless you are friends with his fiance.

smelius22

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

Don't need to know the whole story to get the picture. Having the attention of another woman makes him feel good so he's stringing you along while keeping his engagement. And you are playing right along with it and acting innocent. Either tell him how you feel, wreck his relationship, and have him cheat on you emotionally and possibly physically after a few years... or move along and find a man worth your time who is SINGLE.

Love4fitnesslove4food2

Seriously? You know he's engaged, don't be a home wrecker.

There are other guys in this world, I promise.

This!

janatarnhem

If you end up engaged to him he will just find a "new best friend" and will tell her you "just don't get him".

Move on and be glad he is someone elses problem.

Don't agree you'd be a homewrecker, but do agree with this ^^^

keem88

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

lol because it's an internet forum. of course people don't know you or him. we are going off what you provided, and it sounds sketchy the way he flirts but is engaged to be married. if she doesn't get him like you do, he shouldn't be with her still while flirting with you.

Howdoyoufeeltoday

I know what it feels like to fall for someone involved. and It's hard to walk away but it's best for you if you do. He obviously doesn't care about you or his fiancé if he's stringing you along and lying to her. do yourself a favor and walk away. because what happens if he dumps his fiancé and gets involved with you? Who's to say he wont turn and go flirt with another woman and take her to the movies while you're late at work? free yourself from the jerk.

Beastmode454

Can't believe the quick judgement being passed here by many. You guys don't know me, or him, OR the entire story, yet you feel like it's okay to call us slurs and judge our whole relationship?

Thanks to the mature people in here who are giving their input but aren't jumping to conclusions.

How long have you even known this guy?

What i was thinking.. He is a co-worker he can make himself to be anything he wants to come off as. I married my wife cuz i knew in my heart i could trust her and that she would always understand me and be there for me... aside from her being super hot. "oh i want to marry you cuz you don't get me".... wait... what?