Just an observation....almost scared to post!

"mean people suck................"

I think about 90% of the time the "mean" people are not actually being mean, but bluntness can be misinterpreted as nastiness when you can't hear inflection. The only time I really see people start to lose their tempers is when someone asks a question with a certain answer in mind and then dismisses all the good advice that doesn't fit that answer.

Bottom line: don't ask a question you don't want an honest answer to. And give people the benefit of the doubt; most are genuinely trying to help.

Yes, this!!!!

yup, some nasty people up here, the mean ones don't know how to avoid a thread and not make a dumb mean comments!!! They get joy in being a**holes to people!!! If you think the thread,question,comment etc is stupid how about you don't comment if its rude and mean! BUT the world if filled with them, there like cockroaches in NY, there every where!!! lol

And sometimes it's the oversensitive people looking for any reason to be butthurt that end up labeling others as mean.

And many times, their comments aren't dumb, but rather insightful and full of good advice. It's just deemed mean because it isn't "supportive".

I remember a certain someone in a joke thread that got offended in one of those quirky rate type threads and accused someone of being racist because of who they were married to....even though it was just part of the thread game and in reality, had nothing to do with that person.

It's all on how you choose to take something. In truth, tone is very hard to derive from text and what you project or imagine it to be is what tends to set you off...not the person.

The problems happen when advice is requested by the OP, appropriate advice is given by posters, and the OP disagrees and tells them that their advice is wrong, and that they were doing it right the entire time.

Don't post and ask for opinions unless you actually want them.

Take what you like, and leave the rest. End of story.

^^ This.

When people sincerely post a question looking for advice, most of the responses I've seen have been helpful and friendly.

LOL I am waiting for the wolf pack to jump in...

\m/

Here's the thing. Most of the posters labeled "mean" around here are actually very nice, knowledgeable people who make sincere efforts to help when they see questions. Their tone is civil and honest, but what they say is often not what the asker wanted to hear, so they are called "bullies," "mean," "trolls," and "know-it-alls." Honestly, the vitriol/snark I see on this board is posted by the people spreading or looking for misinformation because they want a quick fix or just can't admit they don't know everything ever.

Some handy things to keep in mind while posting and reading around here, in my experience...

1. Someone disagreeing with you does not equal a bully, meanie, or troll.
2. Someone neglecting to sugar-coat the truth for you does not equal a bully, meanie, or troll.
3. Someone asking to see your scientific, peer-reviewed evidence does not equal a bully, meanie, or troll.

Watch the tickers and you'll see a trend in who actually knows what they're talking about. These folks are awesome, have great senses of humor, and will help you if you let them.

:flowerforyou:

LOL I am waiting for the wolf pack to jump in...

\m/

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I haven't been posting or even reading these posts very much until recently, but wow.....has anyone else noticed how mean people can be? I'm afraid to ask any questions for fear of being ridiculed for being utterly ignorant about how my own body works. Yes, I'd like to lose weight; Yes, I realize it takes hard work and dedication; Yes, I am HUMAN and make mistakes, excuses, missteps, etc. No one is perfect.

As I said, just an observation.

Well here is advice I've given my boys who grew up in the internet age (they literally do not recall NOT having the internet around, even if we did start with dial-up way back when!)
"What do you care if someone you don't know and will never meet says something mean to you on the internet?"
Yes, there is a lot of great advice out there, but just like a garden, you sometimes have to deal with weeds and pricks to get to the gorgeous flowers and I ignore the awful two and enjoy the wonderful bouquet of helpful advice.
Anyone here losing weight didn't always have it together or they'd not be here, so if someone acts like EVERYONE should know something, then they are not someone I'd want to take advice from anyway.
Don't let others harsh your mellow...but in that same vein, don't expect people to hug and kiss you virtually when you say you are eating your 'poison', it's good to have a realistic kick in the butt reminding you to GET ON TRACK!

LOL I am waiting for the wolf pack to jump in...

\m/

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lol I forgot about moon moon!

Some handy things to keep in mind while posting and reading around here, in my experience...

1. Someone disagreeing with you does not equal a bully, meanie, or troll.
2. Someone neglecting to sugar-coat the truth for you does not equal a bully, meanie, or troll.
3. Someone asking to see your scientific, peer-reviewed evidence does not equal a bully, meanie, or troll.

Watch the tickers and you'll see a trend in who actually knows what they're talking about. These folks are awesome, have great senses of humor, and will help you if you let them.

Also, this ^^ You might want to do what I do - I found a bunch of great, successful, helpful people and added them to my Friends List. THAT'S my first stop when I have questions.

This is totally new to me!

Fresh crop of newbies = fresh crop of mean people threads

On the bright side, the chances of hitting MFP Bingo is on a rise!

Anyone get a bingo yet!?

(I really need to start playing... Joy, send me the card again?)

i don't mind the mean people and some SOME know what they're talking about and tell you home truths and some are total tw@ts so ignore them and laugh at them they're not worth it.. internet warriors haha

Its the pervs i dont like grrrrrrrr

Fresh crop of newbies = fresh crop of mean people threads

On the bright side, the chances of hitting MFP Bingo is on a rise!

Anyone get a bingo yet!?

(I really need to start playing... Joy, send me the card again?)

joy, can you send me the card too?

tis the mfp bingo season!

\m/

Oh how I have missed Moon Moon.

Op, if you look, I've been here a while and yet have few posts. Here's what I have learned:

You aren't going to be BFFs with everybody. You're not going to like the advice some people give, you're not going to like the way they give it and you're going to think they suck (I think I can say that; translate to your negative emotion as needed). And that's ok.

Read the forums for a while. Note who seems to make sense to you. Follow them and make sure they aren't serial killers in disguise. If you are feeling brash, FR them. Sometimes they will accept, sometimes not. Don't worry about that.

There are an astonishing number of people here who give their time, their talent and their extensive knowledge to new people over and over and over again. Understandably, sometimes they become weary of people arguing with them no matter what advice is given. Of course the favorite topics have already been mentioned but if you don't want a question answered honestly, do not ask it.

The same people who have been labelled "mean," or "the wolf pack" are the same people who have answered my questions (on and off the forums) with grace, patience and kindness. Some of them are my friends, some are not. But all are valuable to me because they've saved me from magic unicorn fixes, injury from stupidity in the gym, and they make me laugh every day.

Don't mistake sarcasm and weariness for meanness. And don't waste the tremendous help these meanies can offer you. They are incredible.