Punishment for my son. I need ideas!

I remember when I was a teen, my stepdad made me wash the car 16 different times in a single day. He just kept saying that I missed a spot and made me do it all over again. I'm not sure what I did to piss him off, but I'm pretty sure I never did it again.

Just break up?

Last year, my son did something similar when he was in grade 7. My new junior high kid, was a little full of himself and figured he knew everything. At the beginning of the year, I tried to talk to him about study habits, homework, etc. He's always found school pretty easy, so figured he already knew all that I was trying to impart and asked me to refrain. So I did. I didn't nag him about school, homework, studying. I had to refrain from using PowerSchool, because I knew I wouldn't be able to shut up if I saw he had something due, or low grades. He is very bright.

Well, he was planning to get honours. He figured his minimum would be enough, so he had to watch his friends collect their awards, while he sat on the sidelines. He was embarrassed and disappointed. I decided to mention a few of the finer points of review and he asked me why I didn't tell him this before. I reminded him that I had, at the beginning of the year and he knew better. He remembered that conversation very well.

This year, grade 8, has been very different. He has maintained honours and is feeling proud of his efforts. He knows he is putting in the work. Grade 7 wasn't a write-off, but it was a good lesson. Far better to learn it then, when a year of poor grades doesn't impact the rest of his life.

Coming from the side that has been where he is, maybe don't be so hard on him. Ask him why he's not turning in or doing his homework. Ask him if it's just hard, or if he really just doesn't remember. This could be more than just 'I can do what I want'. He might be having real trouble and taking away his life isn't going to help that
Trust me, I've been there.

Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.

The all-knowing, all-powerful Max

(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)

This is true. I did this with my son when he was in 3rd or 4th grade. I told him whatever he ends up with is up to him. I also told him that in order to get into college, you need to have good grades. He's graduating 10th in his class this year.

I am still dealing with this & my son is 15, but also diagnosed ADHD. After realizing that taking away all the games & privledges didn't really do the trick, I finally had to tell him that he would not be getting his driver's permit or begin the 6 hour driver training until he got on board with the homework And the frustrating thig is, he is a smart kid, just really lazy. In 2 of his classes his non-homework-ways has brought an A- down to like a C or D!

The other approach we are thinking of is to "hire" another older honors student to kind of hang with him afterschool @ the library or something to be sure that he does the homework, and can help him if needed. I think this will play into the attention part well, as he will still be in "school mode". The annoying part of the scenario is the local HS is not even forcing the teachers to put the homework etc. on-line where we parents can track it!

Hope this was some help & good luck!

Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.

The all-knowing, all-powerful Max

(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)

I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.

Are you serious right now? Providing consequences for your children so that they can avoid setting their lives up for failure is actually what a parent is supposed to do. Do you really think he will care if he flunks math now? He might care when he is 30 and flipping burgers, but not right now.

Make him listen to Justin Bieber and New Direction on a daily basis..............take away all of HIS music - ONLY Bieber and New DIrection.

Being a 12 year old boy - this might make him snap out of it....................

P.S. I'm fairly certain they employ this technique at GITMO

Are you sure this is laziness? You know your son best... I'm just wondering if there's any sort of underlying cause.

* Trying to fail so he doesn't have to go to school for some reason (could be logical in a kid's head)

* Actual problem learning the material and perhaps needs help (we thought the same of my cousin to discover he was dyslexic, and simply jumbled type fonts helped tremendously)

* He's just being a rebellious pre-teen *kitten*? LOL

Or maybe he's being bullied or struggling in school? Try finding out what the issue is besides him thinking he knows everything.. 7th grade was a huge stress in my and my cousins lives so there could be something going on.

I would totally make him wear bum outfits to school, until he starts doing his homework.

Horrible idea.

I was a rebellious teenager, doing so would definitely make me start doing my homework! I had my belongings taken away, grounded, screamed at, etc, nothing seemed to work at the time.