My fiance can be such a jerk sometimes

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Replies

  • AusAshMommy
    AusAshMommy Posts: 845 Member
    Um is there any reason you can't run at the Inner Harbor?

    I have to agree with others it sounds like either he's worried about your safety (and rightly so) all the while you still have some insecurity issues - right or wrong - compromise and communication make for better marriages - honestly you need to work this out with him, not us. If I was running anywhere near the projects around our house my hubby would want me to take our dog with me or even better yet NOT DO IT because he worries for my safety - my question is why aren't you worried about your own safety?!?!?! I am from Maryland and have heard many a horror story about the Baltimore projects and have seen a lot of news reports about that area...
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  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    he seems maddening. I mean, gah, can't he get it together and let you get hot??
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    3/10

    :yawn:
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
    I've been in a controlling relationship and he is not controlling. Maybe he's not tactful by making comments about other women. But if he was controlling your run would be timed or he would be following you or going with you or you would not be going at all. Not to mention that he would control or attempt to control every, and I mean every, other aspect of your life down to the time you go to the bathroom.

    If you want to break up for other reasons that you have not mentioned that's one thing. But the guy obviously cared enough to propose and he obviously cares enough to not want you to run in the projects after dark where it is dangerous. Maybe because I'm older but I think you should sit him down and talk to him about this and negotiate a compromise you can both live with. Engaged and married people separate over finances, not being able to live together and get a long, adultery, lying, alcoholism/drug abuse, abuse in general, etc. not where/when one or the other is going to run.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Yet another one of these troll posts so you can see how many people actually fall for it and try to give serious advice, then feel like an idiot when they realize they have been trolled.

    Cheap entertainment for some really bored people.

    And like I have to remind my son when he tells the same joke for the 20th time,- it was funny the first time, then it gets annoying.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Um is there any reason you can't run at the Inner Harbor?

    I'm afraid of falling into the water.
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  • jagh1952
    jagh1952 Posts: 6
    Does he typically say obnoxious things or is he truly worried? You can always buy a used treadmill, stand bike, or nu-step. They all burn the calories. I would never walk or run where you are going. Are there steps in the bldg where you work? Go up and down the steps. Any cardio will work. I would always use an alternative before I would place myself in a dangerous situation. I am on board with him. Married 43 years and going strong.
  • AusAshMommy
    AusAshMommy Posts: 845 Member
    Um is there any reason you can't run at the Inner Harbor?

    I'm afraid of falling into the water.

    Um yeah...sounds like you need to re-think things slightly - given the choice I'd take the Inner Harbor over the Projects any day and six ways on Sunday...
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    well is running through the projects training for a "run for you lives" event? What is your time and stride?
    It varies depending on whether I'm being chased. Adrenaline rushes always up my time.
  • Docmahi
    Docmahi Posts: 1,603 Member
    this has to be a troll
  • SailorKnightWing
    SailorKnightWing Posts: 875 Member
    Mediocre trolling attempt.

    4/10, probably wouldn't report.
  • IronMikeFox
    IronMikeFox Posts: 458
    Yeah, fiancees and spouses who care about your safety can be such A-holes. I really used to like running stairs in this condemned building. It was an awesome workout. Having to navigate the rubble, be sensitive to stairs that started to collapse underfoot, and dodge falling debris all made for an awesome workout. Then my annoying wife made me stop. She "claimed" that she was worried about me getting hurt. She was obviously just worried about me getting too hot. I still resent her for being so selfish and thoughtless!
  • patrickblo13
    patrickblo13 Posts: 831 Member
    OP was trying to be funny but failed miserably...
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    I think you should find someone in the projects and just do him. That will show your fiance who the boss it.:bigsmile:
  • JMel86
    JMel86 Posts: 124 Member
    My husband is the same way. I kept blowing him off until I had a bad run in with a homeless guy. I now hit the gym, if I jog late at night. I know it's hard, I felt he just didn't understand coz I love my jogs. They're one of the best parts of my day. He was just genuinely concerned about my safty & after that incident, I see he had good cause. They have various buddy apps you guys can use. Also, my husband knows my routes, in case I get hit by a car or something. I don't think it's control but safty. I guess you know your fiance best. Maybe he is a jerk. Idk.

    Edit; I feel silly. Didn't know it was a troll.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    OP was trying to be funny but failed miserably...
    I never try to be funny.
  • cupcakes_and_cardio
    cupcakes_and_cardio Posts: 369 Member
    To me it seems he's just being protective. by the information you're giving, I wouldn't see how he's being a jerk. My fiancé wouldn't want me running near the projects either, it's just not safe, even I know this.
  • eAddict
    eAddict Posts: 212 Member
    Make him go with you when running. Compromise for a safer area or ask him what exercises he'd like to do with you. Make it a team effort and maybe he'll get into being more healthy too and understanding your drive.

    THIS
  • TheSwollMinister
    TheSwollMinister Posts: 246 Member
    He doesn't want you running near the projects at night and that's because of his insecurity??? Uh, no. Sounds to me like he just wants you to be safe. Is there somewhere else you can run that isn't near the projects? Can you stick to the treadmill until daylight savings time starts? Could you run during lunch? Sorry OP, but if I was in your fiance's situation, I would likely feel the same way.
    I'm not going to change my workout routine just to make him happy!

    He's genuinely worried about your safety. Look at it from his point of view.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    :yawn:
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    My suggestion? Carry a gun...that's what I do.

    You should actual carry an assault rifle, in plain site. Then those thugs will know you are serious about your workouts.
  • ScottishGirlXO
    ScottishGirlXO Posts: 15 Member
    I'm really trying hard to do this whole lifestyle change thing and I like to exercise outside. It gets dark so early these days, though, and I can only go after work. We're really close to the projects in Baltimore and he keeps telling me I shouldn't run there at night, but I NEED to get my workout in.

    I'm pretty sure he just doesn't want me to lose weight. It's just his insecurity, thinking I'll leave him if I do. Anyone else dealing with an unsupportive SO?

    Maybe he genuinely is just worried for your safety. Re-assure him that your going to be OK.
    I think you need to sit down and talk to him, tell him you wont leave him when you reach your fitness goal.
    You need to re-assure him at all times. Maybe he can go with you a few nights a week? Which will let him know you are safe and you will be both losing weight!

    Hope everything works out for you guys!!
  • Tammer81
    Tammer81 Posts: 38 Member
    1) At least in my experience, physically-appealing grocery store cashiers are regrettably few and far between, so it does merit notice to have come across one; it is in fact possible to appreciate the positive attributes in others while remaining in love and committed to one person exclusively.

    2) There's no such thing as a man who doesn't want his fiancée to lose weight; to the extent he discourages you from jogging after dark through the projects of Baltimore, which nationally ranks near the top in violent crime per capita, it's out of his highly justifiable concern for your safety and the reasonable fear that such a trek may result in your physical assault, rape and/or murder. Surely an indoor treadmill is a satisfactory compromise…
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    I'm really trying hard to do this whole lifestyle change thing and I like to exercise outside. It gets dark so early these days, though, and I can only go after work. We're really close to the projects in Baltimore and he keeps telling me I shouldn't run there at night, but I NEED to get my workout in.

    I'm pretty sure he just doesn't want me to lose weight. It's just his insecurity, thinking I'll leave him if I do. Anyone else dealing with an unsupportive SO?

    It's possible that he is concerned for your safety.
  • lsorci919
    lsorci919 Posts: 772 Member
    Buy yourself a tazer. ZAP!

    This

    hang-over-taser.gif
  • kaotik26
    kaotik26 Posts: 590 Member
    Couldn't it just be a male instinct to want to keep his woman safe? Nah, maybe not. I mean why would a guy that intends to marry you worry about you getting mugged/raped/murdered on a dark street. Men never do that.
  • claudie08
    claudie08 Posts: 154 Member
    If you're carrying some weight they want you to lose.
    If you lose weight they'll think that you'll look too good to want to stay with them.

    Do what you need to do for YOURSELF!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Just break up.
    I think that might be the answer.

    I forgot to add that once we went to the grocery store together and after we left he said something about how he thought the cashier was pretty. He says things like that, which obviously means he thinks I'm fat and ugly, and then won't even support me running at night in the projects.

    Are you a troll?

    Is this a joke?

    I believe she already pointed out that she bears a strong resemblance to Howard Stern. Is Howard Stern a troll?
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