Action offends the inactive
tyrsnbdr
Posts: 234 Member
I read an heavy lifting site and they had this gem of a story today. Thought I would share:
http://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/action-offends-the-inactive
You're not imagining it. When you decide to better yourself, you'll be immediately surrounded by people trying to stop you. Action, it seems, offends the inactive.
They'll usually be subtle about it. Offering you foods that work against your nutrition plan, often presented as gifts or treats. Expressing false worry about your supplement usage, your food choices, and the number of days you go to the gym. They'll find plausible reasons for you to cheat on your diet or skip a workout. They'll encourage you to be discouraged. They'll even get mad at you for how your positive choices are affecting their lives.
If anger doesn't work, they'll bribe, they'll mock, and they'll carefully plant seeds of negativity. All because you've decided to be better, to be more.
It's the story of the crabs in the bucket. Put a bunch of crabs in a bucket and some will try to crawl out and avoid becoming dinner. The rest won't try to escape, but they'll reach up and pull the others down.
When you set a new goal, physical or otherwise, you have unintentionally pointed out other people's weaknesses. Their faults and shortcomings. Their inability to plan and lack of desire to express one iota of willpower. They sit around and want. You have royally pissed them off by doing.
Piss them off anyway. Offend them anyway. Crawl out of the bucket and find new friends and better relationships.
Remember, action offends the inactive. And that's their problem, not yours.
http://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/action-offends-the-inactive
You're not imagining it. When you decide to better yourself, you'll be immediately surrounded by people trying to stop you. Action, it seems, offends the inactive.
They'll usually be subtle about it. Offering you foods that work against your nutrition plan, often presented as gifts or treats. Expressing false worry about your supplement usage, your food choices, and the number of days you go to the gym. They'll find plausible reasons for you to cheat on your diet or skip a workout. They'll encourage you to be discouraged. They'll even get mad at you for how your positive choices are affecting their lives.
If anger doesn't work, they'll bribe, they'll mock, and they'll carefully plant seeds of negativity. All because you've decided to be better, to be more.
It's the story of the crabs in the bucket. Put a bunch of crabs in a bucket and some will try to crawl out and avoid becoming dinner. The rest won't try to escape, but they'll reach up and pull the others down.
When you set a new goal, physical or otherwise, you have unintentionally pointed out other people's weaknesses. Their faults and shortcomings. Their inability to plan and lack of desire to express one iota of willpower. They sit around and want. You have royally pissed them off by doing.
Piss them off anyway. Offend them anyway. Crawl out of the bucket and find new friends and better relationships.
Remember, action offends the inactive. And that's their problem, not yours.
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Replies
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I lost what I thought was a good friend some years ago, when she decided that my diet & fitness made her feel inadequate. I was devastated at the time as she was like a sister to me, but once the hurt had left, I realised how much better off I am without her in my life!0
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wow very cool!!0
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F yea!0
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you are only as good as your worst friend!0
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He ain't lying.
*kick* get off me crab!
Crabs are bad. Our date is off.0 -
He ain't lying.
*kick* get off me crab!
Crabs are bad. Our date is off.
I WAS going to take you for a nice crab and lobster dinner, followed by a night out on the town. Guess not. My Friday night just opened up......0 -
People like that are just horrible and mean! :explode:
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I read an heavy lifting site and they had this gem of a story today. Thought I would share:
http://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/action-offends-the-inactive
You're not imagining it. When you decide to better yourself, you'll be immediately surrounded by people trying to stop you. Action, it seems, offends the inactive.
They'll usually be subtle about it. Offering you foods that work against your nutrition plan, often presented as gifts or treats. Expressing false worry about your supplement usage, your food choices, and the number of days you go to the gym. They'll find plausible reasons for you to cheat on your diet or skip a workout. They'll encourage you to be discouraged. They'll even get mad at you for how your positive choices are affecting their lives.
If anger doesn't work, they'll bribe, they'll mock, and they'll carefully plant seeds of negativity. All because you've decided to be better, to be more.
It's the story of the crabs in the bucket. Put a bunch of crabs in a bucket and some will try to crawl out and avoid becoming dinner. The rest won't try to escape, but they'll reach up and pull the others down.
When you set a new goal, physical or otherwise, you have unintentionally pointed out other people's weaknesses. Their faults and shortcomings. Their inability to plan and lack of desire to express one iota of willpower. They sit around and want. You have royally pissed them off by doing.
Piss them off anyway. Offend them anyway. Crawl out of the bucket and find new friends and better relationships.
Remember, action offends the inactive. And that's their problem, not yours.
This...should be a sticky. Seriously. When I realized this, in my own way, I dropped 20 lbs. in 3-4 months. The thin lady at work who brings snacks daily, but never eats them, because she's worried about gaining weight? Watch her...and for god's sakes, don't eat her cheap store-bought garbage. The miserable overweight person who enjoys agonizing with you about their inability to lose weight, but who is the first to tell you, "Oh. It's just one little bite, one little piece. You only live once." Watch them, they're trying to rationalize their behavior and bringing you down with them.
Your resolve should be that of Will on "Good Will Hunting.":
Will: My father was an alcoholic. Mean [effin'] drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: Why?
Will: Cause *kitten* him, that' why.
...And that's why I succeed, because *kitten* them. That's why.
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I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.0
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I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.0 -
Excellent article. My husband has been very down on my choosing to live a healthier life but i realize that it is his own insecurites that are the problem. I tune it out and brush it off. I didnt make the choice because of him nor will I quit because of him.0
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I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
Oh good, so its not just me.0 -
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
Agreed to this.
I definitely see value in the advice of the OP, and agree with the sentiment...
But, I have never had anyone like that in my life - at least not yet. Most of my circle has been supportive, those who aren't actively supportive have been quiet but never actively working against me.0 -
I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
Lol! It's not THAT literal or that obvious. It's a mindset. In some cases, these people actually do exist, and most do it subconsciously. However, most people are pretty happy to just not care what you're doing/not doing, or you're just good enough at ignoring people that it isn't a problem.0 -
Unfortunately I can't disagree. And for some extra angst add marriage.0
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I have noticed this with most health-related things. Not just exercise, but eating well (or what YOU consider to be well) especially.
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Not always true but it happens - I like to see people succeed in meeting their goals it's inspiring and it has motivated me to do more.0
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Well, sorry to hear that you had to go through that experience.
I suppose I am blessed to be surrounded by people that are ok with what I am doing. My actions are encouraging my husband to be more active.0 -
This is so true! I've made several Facebook posts recently about my weight loss and I've gotten very rude messages from people that I thought were my friends!! Some of the friends that I would go out with to dinner would try and force me into the unhealthiest meal at the restaurant. It used to work and I would cave, but now, I'm much stronger..It irritates them to no end when I say "no!"
I found an amazing picture that I keep on my desktop, it helps remind me that this is about ME and not about what other people think/feel. It says the following:
"They wanna see you do good, but never better than them. Remember that."0 -
Everything about this is100% accurate. Excellent article.
And of course i deal with this very often and its sad the person has to be my mom.0 -
Over-eating junk food is part of our culture, so when you start improving what you put in your body, you are actually going against the norm and against the majority.....so its strange to them.
It also depends on type of people you know. Everyone I know is always interested to know about any new diet methods etc. I might wanna share with them, they're all on board with eating healthy and are doing excellent.0 -
Bump0
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This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
Agreed to this.
I definitely see value in the advice of the OP, and agree with the sentiment...
But, I have never had anyone like that in my life - at least not yet. Most of my circle has been supportive, those who aren't actively supportive have been quiet but never actively working against me.
Agreed. I feel like I'm either lucky in this regard, I'm oblivious to "sabotage attempts" from my friends/coworkers, or other people are actively looking for ways in which they think others are trying to bring them down. If someone asks whether I want to try a dessert they brought in for the office to share, I don't feel like they're attempting to subtly trying to stop me from getting healthier; they would have made the exact same offer regardless and it has nothing to do with my weight loss/fitness goals. Not to say it never happens, but at least in my experience people have been interested and supportive in my routine/goals, I've never felt like people are actively (or subtly) working against me.0 -
I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
Oh good, so its not just me.
In for this as well.
But LOL @ crabs.0 -
I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
Lol! It's not THAT literal or that obvious. It's a mindset. In some cases, these people actually do exist, and most do it subconsciously. However, most people are pretty happy to just not care what you're doing/not doing, or you're just good enough at ignoring people that it isn't a problem.
Well crap! Maybe I need to look harder for the jelly sabotagists since it's a KNOWN FACT that they are EVERYWHERE tryna subliminize me into staying in bed and eating sticks of butter wrapped in twinkies.
ETA: LOL crabs.0 -
I think some of you guys need better friends.0
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I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
Oh good, so its not just me.
I couldn't be happier with my friends and family and their fantastic support.
your friends are your choice.0 -
I think some of you guys need better friends.
Friends who won't give you crabs.
:laugh: Crabs..... :laugh:0 -
I keep reading this trying to decide if the author is serious. I really don't see people in my life offering me food, or expressing concern, or asking me to skip a workout as them being out to get me. Nor do I think that anyone else really cares enough about my eating and fitness plan that it would make them feel bad about themselves or that they do feel bad about themselves and their choices. Maybe I just lucked out in the friends and family department.
This. My world seems to lack the totes jelly haterz that everyone else complains about.
shut up and have a donut!
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