Ladies, how do you feel about being a stay at home mom/wife?

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Replies

  • ideang
    ideang Posts: 95
    I am currently a stay ay home mom, but I have also been the working mom. There are things I like about both. I do like being home with my kids, but really miss having adult conversations.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453 Member
    I admit, I'm very old fashioned. I would love taking care of the home and family while my husband worked. I know with the conomy so bad that it's not as common for women, or men to stay at home. My uncle is a stay at home dad while my aunt works. And you know what? they love it. So I guess if one spouse has a good income then it's possible.
  • 1flowergirl
    1flowergirl Posts: 57 Member
    I've been a stay at home wife and mother for most of 30 years, I loved it, went to every school program and field trip with the kids (so did my husband),even sent them to private school. Could we afford it ,no, but we did it. What I got out of it was a very close relationship with my kids, I knew all their friends and parents, if I had worked I'm sure I still would have had the same result, as a good parent is a good parent regardless of weather they stay home or not, what I would have done differently is taken some classes that interest me, now I want to return to work, my recently married daughter says no! who's going to babysit the grandkids! I don't have any yet, so I babysit the epileptic granddogger,am I happy with my life ? Yes!
    If staying home is your desire do it, about finances you will always find a way, just don't forget yourself, its easy to forget your worth if you don't get out now and then.
  • shelly_36536
    shelly_36536 Posts: 5 Member
    I have been a SAHM for a couple of years now and I enjoy it! With my first child, I feel I missed so much of her life even though she was at the same childcare center I worked at. I have had no trouble with having adult conversations and making friends due to finding a Mom's group near me. I love being home with my youngest and also being here when my oldest daughter (13) gets home from school. Like many have said though, it's a personal choice and depends on your income. I couldn't afford to stay home with my first child, but have become fortunate enough to be able to stay home now.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453 Member
    I've been a stay at home wife and mother for most of 30 years, I loved it, went to every school program and field trip with the kids (so did my husband),even sent them to private school. Could we afford it ,no, but we did it. What I got out of it was a very close relationship with my kids, I knew all their friends and parents, if I had worked I'm sure I still would have had the same result, as a good parent is a good parent regardless of weather they stay home or not, what I would have done differently is taken some classes that interest me, now I want to return to work, my recently married daughter says no! who's going to babysit the grandkids! I don't have any yet, so I babysit the epileptic granddogger,am I happy with my life ? Yes!
    If staying home is your desire do it, about finances you will always find a way, just don't forget yourself, its easy to forget your worth if you don't get out now and then.

    I love this the most^^^ very inspirational. You sound like a awesome mom!
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
    I'm not a mother, but I'd like to be a stay at home wife one day if it's financially able with my husband. And if I ever have children I would want to be there to raise them. What do you think?

    I see nothing wrong with it. If your husband is making enough to live comfortably and not breaking his back to do it and you stay home taking care of the house and spending time raising the children then I think its great. I would hate to have to resort to putting my kids in daycare and hire babysitters. If I can't be there I would need a family member (grandma or someone) to be able to care for them during the day. Daycares freak me out. But, in an ideal situation where money was coming that easy to my family I wouldn't want to work if I could stay home with my kids and cook extravagant and healthy meals for my family all day long lol. In NYC that is never really an option unless you're the 1% though so I don't foresee that in my future unless I hit the lotto haha.
  • samanthacohoe
    samanthacohoe Posts: 11
    I'm a full-time mom, and I wouldn't do it any other way. It's worth making the sacrifices to swing it. As for everyone saying they missed adult conversation, that's what play dates are for! I get lots of time to talk to my other mom friends while our kids play.
  • crimsonandclovers
    crimsonandclovers Posts: 35
    I'd love to be a stay-at-home-mum when I have kids, but of course that depends if it's financial viable with whoever I marry.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    It can be a drag at times, but its what we feel is best for our family. I plan on going back to work once the youngest is at school. I know its easier to have someone at home full time for holidays and when kids are sick etc, but can't really justify having me home alone all day every other day
  • cjmight
    cjmight Posts: 2
    As a mom of 4 - 3 now over 18 - I highly recommend raising your own children if its at all possible. Who would love them most in all the world? You & your hubby. If there is ever a question - watch other families in both situations. I love my kids & was blessed to be with them most of their lives.
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
    I have worked the entire time that I have been a mother. I will say this- when my first son was born, I had to go back to work when he was two weeks old because of financial problems (financial problems=I married a POS who wouldn't work) and I never bonded with my oldest. I went back to work when my youngest was 6 weeks old and I bonded with him so much more than I did my oldest. The time together really makes a difference. When they were 2&3, I started a new job and I was on midnight shift. I pretty much knew nothing about my kids at that point.. I was working or sleeping and I was a complete stranger to them. I am on days now and I still don't get to see them very much but it's much better than it was before! I would love to have more time with them.

    On the other hand, I know moms who are stay at home mom and hate it. They love being with their kids all the time, but they have very little adult interaction and stay at home almost all of the time because only one parent working does make it harder to get by.. but children do tend to be a little smarter when their parent is a stay at home mom. And no matter if a parent will admit it or not, all kids do get annoying at times! Especially when you're sick or in a bad mood. It's a lot easier to manage your time and organize things if you get to stay at home more often, too..

    Both of the things have pros and cons. If I had a choice, I'd choose to work part time somewhere, daytime hours.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    I think being a stay at home mom/wife is fine and dandy.

    But I personally will never ever rely on a man financially- husband or not. I will always want to work and make my OWN money.

    What if you get married and for whatever reason end up wanting a divorce? You won't have the money to hire an attorney. You won't have the money to buy yourself a new home. You won't have the money to take care of your children. My mother and father always told me that I would get a college education, establish a good career, and make enough money to be able to get a divorce (and all the things that come along with it) if I wanted one. You don't want to be stuck in a bad marriage.
  • Shellitz
    Shellitz Posts: 188
    I have just returned to work part time after staying at home with my son for 8 months. There is pros and cons to both sides, I found that while we had less money coming in, I also didn't spend as much money as my son is only little so we didn't go out much and also I was able to cook more so much less money spent on convenience food, plus less fuel from not driving to and from work everyday.

    We probably could have survived with me not working, but I chose to go back to work for a few reasons, 1) so that my husband only had to work 5 days instead of 6, as he needs to spend time with our little boy too, 2) I didn't want to stay out of the workforce too long as it is harder to get back in the longer you are out, and 3) to give me a break from looking after bubs. I love him to pieces but it is nice to have a few hours a couple of days a week without a little person crawling over you, and it makes me enjoy the time I am at home with him so much more.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    One of the downsides of staying home is that i'm pretty much bricking it to go back to work when my youngest is 5 now as I will have been out of the workforce for 10 years then. I hate job interviews LOL

    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/
  • ElizabethFuller
    ElizabethFuller Posts: 352 Member
    I went back to work full time after my elder son was born but I found the long hours too stressful and gave up work after about a year. I then stayed home for about 6 years until my younger son was 3. I loved having time with my children, I spent hours drawing, playing, having picnics in the park etc. I didn't have the stress of having to take time off work when they were sick and I watched every play, carol concert, sports day without any hassle. I loved it BUT I'm an adult, and I missed the company of other adults and the challenge of work. When I went back to work I took a job that gave me the school holidays off so I kind of had the best of both worlds. There are advantages and disadvantages to both staying at home and working, it depends on what you need at the time. I really wouldn't want to be home all day with no children, I think that would be quite lonely as most friends would be at work or busy with their children, but it always depends on your personal situation.
  • htimpaired
    htimpaired Posts: 1,404 Member
    To each their own, but it is absolutely not for me - I spent way too long getting an education and building a successful career to give it up. And I want to be a productive member of society, I would not be ok with my husband supporting me and not contributing myself.

    Ditto.
    Plus in my marriage, I am the one with the degree and therefore the one with the income. But even if the roles were reversed, I couldn't stay home all day. I don' t know how my mother did it when she was raising me!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Before kids, I worked part time, just to not be bored. After kids I stayed home and took care of them. We have 3 boys. I ended up homeschooling them. They are now 17,19, wo. I do a littl school with the 17 yr old and work part time a health food store (as of last August)

    I loved being home with them!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    I'm not a mother, but I'd like to be a stay at home wife one day if it's financially able with my husband. And if I ever have children I would want to be there to raise them. What do you think?

    I was a working mother (still work but the kids are grown up). If I had it to do all over again, I would stay home. I had excellent day care, took time off work when I needed to for special events, cooked dinner every night for the family, etc. but I missed a lot and so did they.

    That being said, it's not for everyone. You should decide what's best for you. If staying home is best for you, then make it work. I think you will only have regrets if you go against what you believe is best for your family. When we made the decision for me to work, it was what was best for our family at the time. If I could do it over knowing now what I didn't know then I would decide differently, but I don't regret it.
  • FerretBuellerr
    FerretBuellerr Posts: 468 Member
    It's something I'm highly considering doing. I want to home school my children too, if possible, but I would probably want to work part time at least anyways to make a little extra money.

    It's my life plan :smooched:
  • mjones6599
    mjones6599 Posts: 129
    I was a stay at home mom for 10 years when our children were small. I LOVED it, but at the same time, I was BORED to death, especially when they were at school. I did the next best thing ~ I became a teacher. I have roughly the same schedule as them, weekends and summers off!
  • cassylee
    cassylee Posts: 107 Member
    With my first son, my husband stayed at home for a year. With my second son, I stayed home for two years. After that I worked part time. I had wednesday off. I worked longer hours during the other days but not full time. My sons went to day care and then to after school care. My children are healthy, happy and well behaved. They know where they are going in life and have worked hard to get them there.

    The point is that it doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mum or a mum that works. That is a choice for you and your husband to work out.

    To be a great mum is that you have to be involved in your childrens lives. You have to love them and hold them and praise them and discipline them and you have to be consistent. You also need a support network for you to have a little break every once in awhile to recharge. They take a lot work both metally and physically. There will be tough days and wonderful days and maddening days and fun days. The key is to balance and to ask for support.

    Remember - the kids wont remember how long it took you to iron that shirt but they will remember when you sit down and spend quality time with them.
  • mychanges83
    mychanges83 Posts: 12 Member
    I am a stay at home mom & I really love it. My husband is in college full-time and works during the summertime so it is very important to watch what is spent money wise. I think as long as you are financially stable it is a great idea for you. If not, then there will be many issues and will be very stressful. Having kids is a wonderful feeling and you are never alone but also remember to have your own goals and things you can do for yourself too.
  • SCV34
    SCV34 Posts: 2,048 Member
    I'm not a mother, but I'd like to be a stay at home wife one day if it's financially able with my husband. And if I ever have children I would want to be there to raise them. What do you think?

    I was a stay at home Mom for 15 years and if I had to do it all over again, I would repeat that decision.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    Personally, I would go crazy being a stay at home wife with no children.

    On second thought, I'm going crazy being a stay at home mom with 4 children!

    But I absolutely refuse to believe that I'm not a productive member of society because I've chosen to not earn a paycheck. My husband earns all the money and we're happy with that. He doesn't treat me as a burden at any time. Staying at home with children all day is a hard job, and he knows that. It really is just a personal decision. It doesn't work for everyone.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453 Member
    To the peson who said being a stay at home mother isn't contributing to society..what about your own mother and grandmothers? to attack a woman who chooses to stay at home with her family is childish and petty.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    It's the hardest and best thing you will ever do!
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!
    Exactly, without well raised people (no matter who it is that raised them) there is no society.
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
    If I got married and my husband made enough money I would stay at home. Raising kids takes a LOT of work. And I'd rather be doing it than a stranger. But then, I've also had my fill of the working "career" world so I don't think I'd feel unfulfilled.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    To each their own, but it is absolutely not for me - I spent way too long getting an education and building a successful career to give it up. And I want to be a productive member of society, I would not be ok with my husband supporting me and not contributing myself.
    Whaaaa??!!
    **fans self**

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