The meanest thing just happened :-(
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Currently, i weigh 136 at 5'6. Which is 8-11 pounds lighter than my outdated pics on here (most of them I was around 144, one I was at 147) so I know im not big and blah but I'm so desperate to get to 125. I was just at the gym when this guy who is usually there when I am comes up to me for the first time and says *it's so nice to see you here so often! Once you lose 20 pounds, Youre going to look amazing.* I just said *um. I don't intend on losing 20 pounds* and he goes *well, that's my recommendation. I think you should rethink your goals.* I literally went into the lockerroom and cried :-(. Just wanted to share it. Too embarrassed to rant to anyone I know so thanks for reading.
I bet he was "negging" you, which is a pick up artist trick to lower women's self esteem. Sounds too calculated. Seriously, what an *kitten*.
God, you're at like, my super daydream goal weight, and I'm 2" shorter than you. You are definitely fine where you are, and you'll look fine at 125 too.0 -
You should've told the jerk that "sometimes a snickers bar is more satisfying than a loud mouth with a centimeter peter".0
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"What a prick! I pity him. It must be a miserable existance to be so mean. You are gorgeous (and your current weight is perfectly healthy)!"
This ^
Just remember that people throw rocks at things that shine
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Btw, one day he is going to ask you out on a date. Then you say "you should rethink your goals."
OH.
This is the best comeback ever.0 -
Wow...can't imagine what that guy would think about me being at the gym :frown: He'd probably tell me I'm a lost cause and to go home.0
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It's a ploy......He says something mean, you'll think about, then ask him for his recommendations, he gets to know you better and then he'll ask you out.
You look great! So that was the only way he could think of to approach you. "Break you down, make you vunerable and then pounce".
Stir clear.... act like he doesn't exist and the conversation never happen. I'll bet you he'll approach you in the "I'm sorry if I offended you.......
This is a thing? I had no idea. Thanks for spelling it out Javonjay and others.Btw, one day he is going to ask you out on a date. Then you say "you should rethink your goals."
^^ and this!0 -
This is one of those moments where it's okay to kick the guy in the balls as hard as you possibly can (the goal is to make sure he can't procreate).0
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Next time you see him, spit in his face, kick him in the nads and then do this:
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The guy's a tool. Don't let him get you down. Just keep working to your goal and not worrying about people like that. I think you look pretty good in the pics that are outdated and heavier. Put a new one on here so we can tell you how good you look! 0
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I once dated a guy who liked the skeletal look. I was under-weight when we started dating, then gained 10lbs to a healthier weight and he immediately starting calling me fat and telling me I needed to go on a diet. You look amazing in all of your pics, don't let some skeleton lover get you down.0
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The head of our seminary tells us that "kindness" is not always "nice." The "kindest" thing you could do now - and maybe the most empowering - would be to tell him off in NO uncertain terms the next time to see him. That IS a very mean thing that he did - and he had no right whatsoever to do it. AND - it is also 100% INACCURATE. BOOOOOOO HISSSSSSS!0
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You know he had to try and "take you down" a notch or two because he knew he couldn't ever get a hot one like you. I'm sure that the douche was overcompensating for something.
You look great and you're losing right so to hell with him. I see very many lonely dates (with either Rosie, or Letty ie Right or Left) for him in the foreseeable future.
If you lived in the Vegas area, I'd have a recommendation of one of the Las Vegas Athletic Clubs where all the guys (young, old, ripped or not) are encouraging to those of us ladies doing it the right way. Every time I've been to this location regularly, I've had so many of them encourage me to do one more rep or notice that I'm doing things right (either in weight lost, or in technique). The "good ones" are out there, so don't let one "douche" ruin your day, week, month or year!!!!!
Keep up your good work. Keep lifting (if you are) or start lifting (if you aren't) so that you can keep looking as great as you do!!!!!0 -
Keep your head held high and know that you are doing what is right for YOU, not anyone else. That guy is a douche and will never be good enough for you. Know your worth.....you are doing an amazing thing by taking care of you and working out. Though it does hurt when someone gives you their mean spirited unsolicited opinion, do not shed tears, they are not worth it. Instead feel sorry for him - he's obviously lonely and doesn't feel very good about himself. After reading all of these responses I hope you feel better about yourself and feel stronger.
Next time you see him, make it known that you didn't appreciate his unsolicited advice and that you would prefer he stay away from you or you'll report him to the management for harassment.
Keep up the great work!!!0 -
Look on the bright side... you could be married to him.
Btw, one day he is going to ask you out on a date. Then you say "you should rethink your goals."
I had to bump this because that's the best comeback line ever when he does ask you out. And I believe as others do, he had to put you down to try and make you vulnerable!0 -
Hmm... Not sure how I would have responded. But it would not have been nice. He may just like uber-skinny girls, but it's ridiculous to tell a girl she should try to reach his ideal weight to be considered attractive.0
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Perhaps he's following the d-bag rules of dating? You know, compliment a girl in a way that is an insult also so that she is off balance and vulnerable...then move in for the kill. I actually have know guys who do this....and it sadly does work pretty well for them.
I totally agree with this! I think he was back-handedly trying to hit on you...0 -
A couple of years ago, I had been working out at the pool for some time, and was 5 pounds from my goal weight. I had arm muscles, my thighs were finally tight and slim again, and I looked and felt great. I could even run a couple of miles without my inhaler. At 46, for the first time in my life, I felt a little bit athletic.
A male friend looked me over at the pool one day and said I was looking really good, and then offered to help me with my ab work...
Ack.0 -
Wow...what an A**hat.0
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Btw, one day he is going to ask you out on a date. Then you say "you should rethink your goals."
^^^^^^THIS is PERFECT!:drinker:0 -
omg wow
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
You're a beautiful girl with a stunning body. Please don't let this a-hole get to you.0 -
Two things:
1. I agree that this was a weird backwards attempt to connect with you. It means he's been noticing you for a while.
2. Some people don't have real insight into what "20 pounds" actually equates to. Not that he should have been allowed to comment on your body, AND where you're at is already super healthy and fit for your height, BUT I suspect he really meant something less, but 20lbs didn't seem like that big of a number to him. A bigger guy's 20 lbs might be closer to a smaller woman's 5 lbs.
In any case, you already look fantastic and you have every right to say to him in the future, "Stop. You are not allowed to comment on my body. Now now. Not ever again. Do you understand?"
And if he doesn't, you can report him to the gym.0 -
You snould have said, "And I think you are a moron."0
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**** move for sure, you look great and you know where you need to be!!0
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I would have told that a-hole he needed to lose 20 pounds of douchebaginess. You look fine, don't let idiots like that get you down.0
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I bet he was "negging" you
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The first question you need to ask yourself before you let this jerk upset you is, "What are his qualifications to tell me what my weight should be?" I'm betting he has none, that he is talking about his preferences for women that have bodies like pre-pubescent boys. I don't mean to sound like a creeper, but the pictures on your profile look to me like you're in a great place. Nobody, especially not some stranger in a gym, should have that kind of effect on you - especially an unqualified moron offering unsolicited advice. Get to where YOU are happy, as long as it's a healthy place........0
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My opinion of the guy: Dumba$$
My opinion of you (for what it's worth): RAWR! (loosely translates to 'you look great' - just more fun to say!)
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Does this guy just bully people at random to stay in practice? This is is totally a reflection on him and the person he is, has NOTHING to do with you. There's a fitting song for this twit: "Were you born an *kitten*, or are you a self-made man?" I'm sending you a virtual hug. Barbara0
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You could be 500 pounds from goal and he'd STILL not have a right to say anything to you about your weight! Rude and cruel!0
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What a douche bag!!!!! You look fabulous! forget him. And stick to your goal.0
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