Do you feel like people treat you diffrent now that you've l

Try being morbidly obese like I am...you are mostly invisible the heavier you are. People don't get to know me--they don't know how great a person I am and the wonderful things I have done. Professionally, it doesn't matter that I have a Master's degree. I actually had a prospective employer last year tell me they were not hiring me because of my weight. This is not a kind world to obese people. My general goal is for me to become healthy so I can live a fuller and longer life. However, a side goal is to lose weight in hopes that I will be less discriminated against.

YES!!! Its sad.:huh:

it is not just men. woman can be just as brutal.

my best friend growing up was over 200 lbs

I was 100 lbs soaking wet. I actually had a waitress bring me a big peice of mother butlers pie one night that i didnt order.

when she sat it down she told me to 'eat up honey, and dont share with your freind'. I told her to go to....well :devil: .... a hot place and not florida. we walked out and didnt pay for any of the check. we were 19 yrs old.

this girl could kick my but at jazzersize and could out run most of the boys in school.

oh for goodness sake-- let's not make an issue out of a non-issue. So what if people are "nicer" to you once weight is lost? Maybe they have a healthy respect for you/me/him/her because we're doing something respectable and taking off weight.

"Prejudice against fat people" is still acceptable because it's the one thing we can control for crying out loud. We weren't born fat. We got fat because we ate too much and exercised too little, and some of us, and we know who we are, were downright disgusting in our eating habits.

I let myself blow up after each pregnancy out of stress. I chose to eat, chose to get fat, chose to let myself look bad. If people want to judge me because of it, they have every right. Once I choose to take off the weight and do something respectable, I will love reaping all the rewards, some of which will be extra attention from humanity.

Lighten up people.

oh for goodness sake-- let's not make an issue out of a non-issue. So what if people are "nicer" to you once weight is lost? Maybe they have a healthy respect for you/me/him/her because we're doing something respectable and taking off weight.

"Prejudice against fat people" is still acceptable because it's the one thing we can control for crying out loud. We weren't born fat. We got fat because we ate too much and exercised too little, and some of us, and we know who we are, were downright disgusting in our eating habits.

I let myself blow up after each pregnancy out of stress. I chose to eat, chose to get fat, chose to let myself look bad. If people want to judge me because of it, they have every right. Once I choose to take off the weight and do something respectable, I will love reaping all the rewards, some of which will be extra attention from humanity.

Lighten up people.

Oh great going Marla, continue the stereotypes that fat people are out of control and lazy, and don't care about themselves. Each fat person is different and people don't get to know their story because of attitudes like yours. I was normal weight until I was repeatedly raped. I was very much in control of gaining weight...I was building up armor. My medications also made me gain weight. I have always ate healthy also...my eating habits are not disgusting. No, I wasn't eating a gallon of ice cream every night. Sometimes I was also too poor to afford "good food"...fat is cheap.

I am treated like a nobody because of my weight. That is wrong. It doesn't matter the wonderful things I have done with my life, I am just a lazy, out of control fat person in most people's eyes. Discrimination is wrong, no matter what kind it is. Gee, thanks, for saying it's okay to do so.

Now back to the topic!
yup! I'm getting stares again! woo hoo! (doin' a dance!)

:laugh: :laugh: :blushing: :blushing:

Now back to the topic!
yup! I'm getting stares again! woo hoo! (doin' a dance!)

:laugh: :laugh: :blushing: :blushing:

Well, you're lookin good lady!!!
:flowerforyou:

Please remember that threads are an online "conversation" of support and common interest - if you don't like the topic, please just scroll past it. What is of interest to you, might not be of interest to me - such is life.

Everyone has a story as to 'why' and 'how' they gained their weight - let's not judge each other, but support each other instead. :flowerforyou: As we are learning here, it only takes 3500 excess calories to gain a pound, so someone could gain 20 pounds in a year if they ate an extra 2 bananas a day!

Laurie49120 - my heart breaks for you story - I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. You have great courage and strength to (1) share that story, and (2) make the change in your weight, that will ultimately bring up all of those feelings that got you here. Bravo to you for starting this journey!

We can have compassion for the 'why' and 'how' and IMHO, that's the kind of support that encourages weight loss and success! :flowerforyou:

Ditto a million times!

Laurie, my heart goes out to you! I'm positive you're a wonderful person. Don't let ANYONE ever get you down. Hold your head high. Congrats on making a change in your life for a better you! We all are here to support you, in your lifestyle change and in your everyday general life. Welcome to the MFP family! :flowerforyou:

I do feel like people treat me differently. Oh well, it is what it is!! I think part of it is because my posture is better, I look people in the eye and simply smile more because I am happier, have more energy and just feel better. So, it very well could be because my entire demeanor has changed as the pounds came off, which in turn makes me more attractive to people.

I have to say that when I was a teen and was in pretty great shape (though I was taller and not anorexic looking but rather looked like a jock) I FELT like I big gross blob of a girl. I was looking at some old photos the other day in awe at what the mind can do to control the eyes. I looked GREAT! But I got NO attention from guys and was basically treated like I felt about myself. In university I became a lot more confident (despite the yet-unknown decline of my thyroid which led to mystery weight gain and a much lumpier body!) and I started getting LOTS of attention.

Now, the biggest difference I notice is surrounding food. It makes me SO angry! 2 months ago before I started this, if I said something about loving food or cooking or discussed food or ate dessert at a restaurant people would make this self-conscious face. Now that I'm looking a lot more athletic again (my muscles develop easily so it's obvious that I work out if my arms are showing, even if there's still way more fat on there than I'd like..) I don't get those looks. People are happy to discuss food with me. Frustrates the heck out of me.

But we are definitely taught to make assumptions about fat people. And most people I know in that demographic have a story that would surprise a lot of the people who judge them.
And I must say that I find it horrifying and sad that anyone who is a part of this website could condone the kind of treatment discrimination brings, regardless of the roots. Sheesh.

Well, as someone already said, here's to us all becoming conscientious fit people who don't pay that particular behaviour forward!

Thanks for sharing your story! I love what you said about looking back at pics from the past and seeing a beautiful girl... even though you are working on getting fitter, remember that you are beautiful RIGHT NOW!!!!
:flowerforyou:

Now back to the topic!
yup! I'm getting stares again! woo hoo! (doin' a dance!)

:laugh: :laugh: :blushing: :blushing:

That's cause you're looking HOT in that dress! Show that pic again! That pic should be your default! lol
*whisltes*

awww shucks!:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:
Thanks Crystal!

Okay Jen, where's this pic???? Come on girl...

This is a sensitive topic for me.
I've been debating whether or not to respond to this thread, and have decided to do so after great consideration.

I myself have never been obese, although I have struggled with being overweight for the last few years. My father had a twin sister, however, who has since passed away, that was medically classified as "morbidly obese". She had a thyroid disorder that went undiagnosed for far too long, and she gained about 300 pounds. By the time she was correctly diagnosed, she'd carried around the weight long enough to wreak havoc on both of her knees. I lived across the street from her, and we joined her frequently for mealtimes- my aunt didn't eat any more than anyone else at the table did. The stress on her knees made it very difficult to work out - she tried water aerobics, but was humiliated when she needed the help of a few people to get in/out of the pool and didn't go back. Even walking at that point was painful. When she did go out in public, people stared at her, and made cutting comments about her as if she weren't within earshot. It infuriates me to no end when people make generalizations about the reasons why people are overweight. The kind of people that view being overweight as some kind of weakness, and themselves as somehow superior because they've escaped getting "that big". The kind that say things like "I would NEVER let myself go that far", and "How can they stand to live like that?" The kind that view the obese as worthless wastes of space instead of living, breathing, FEELING human beings. I loved my aunt Debbie more than those kind of people will ever know, and the majority of them don't give a flip. She died trying to lose weight. She died trying (unsuccessfully) to bring her own body under her control again. Heck, even if she didn't have a medical issue, and she was an emotional eater, food can be an addiction like any other. I'm not suggesting that people not take accountability for their physical condition, I'm suggesting that other people show some compassion and offer encouragement instead of belittiling those that ARE trying, that haven't given up on themselves.

As far as the discrimination goes, with the "discriminating against people that are overweight is okay because you can control your weight" logic, why don't we just start discriminating against people with red hair? Or glasses? Or french manicures? Those are also things within the spectrum of our control, and would be equally ridiculous as qualifiers of worth.

I'm not trying to be divisive, and I'm finished commenting on this topic- I just wanted to add my two cents.

I love you all,

Manda

As far as the discrimination goes, with the "discriminating against people that are overweight is okay because you can control your weight" logic, why don't we just start discriminating against people with red hair? Or glasses? Or french manicures? Those are also things within the spectrum of our control, and would be equally ridiculous as qualifiers of worth.

I'm not trying to be divisive, and I'm finished commenting on this topic- I just wanted to add my two cents.

I love you all,

Manda

I get this all the time cause I am blonde....drives me nuts....

I am very sorry for you aunt though, she sounds like a very strong woman to me.
It can be so hard to make changes when the world is always pointing the finger and playing the blame game.
She is way braver then me.....I haven't owned a swimsuit in YEARS! What an honor it would of been to have known her.

You come from strong stock Manda, don't ever doubt that.

:flowerforyou:

She WAS a wonderful lady...

Debbie L.

2/6/1955 -7/14/2001

She was such a loving person- she always had a funny story to tell, she was forever laughing at something... We used to sit on the front porch eating our sugar-free fudgesicles together, and I went with her to her doctor's appointments while she was on her weight loss journey... She was a mother to me when my own mother wouldn't be. I miss her so so much.

I'm with Manda (Thanks for responding Manda, and thanks for sharing your story). :flowerforyou:

Let's not judge each other, and oversimplify the situation. My simplified version is this: IMHO it's never okay to refer to people as "fat" and "disgusting", simple as that. Let's be supportive! :flowerforyou:

Just because one includes themselves in a group, does not make derogatory comments acceptable. If I were to use a racial slur about my own ethinicity, that does not make it okay. It still references all others in my group with ugliness and hate.