Guys - Wowen in the gym - Lululemon's or short shorts

Well I figure if a guy is looking at me from behind..he's not at the squat rack. I know men will look. Heck, today someone wolf whistled at me as i ran to get coffee this morning with my face not washed, hair in disarray and I was basically in sweats.

But staring? Ugh. I had this one guy behind me stare while I did my deadlifts. Creeped me out. He wasn't doing anything either. Now I am sure the guys around me have looked..and being men, of course they will, but they should be respectful and try to not be obvious. Heck, they stare if I wear pants from Target.

This really goes beyond Lulu's/shorts shorts. It's about , "how would you want your mother or sister treated" if she went to the gym.

Though I admit I have used my feminine side to steal a squat rack by batting my eyelashes and saying pretty please(we only have 4 at my gym)....

and yes, that is hardcore.

After that, I drop the nice act and get to lifting.

I go to a gym where the majority of men are openly gay. I get stared at routinely by gay men. And trust me, a man staring at a girl is one thing. A confident gay male staring at another man is another thing altogether. MUCH more obvious. lol..

Anyways, it's not quite the full on sexual assault some of you on MFP make it out to be.

Slightly uncomfortable. Slightly. I don't need to lower my hat, get my glare ready, puff out my lats, wear my beat up clothes, and make it known I DEADLIFT and SQUAT (hardcore stuff!) just because a gay man made eye contact with me.

Life must be REALLY uncomfortable for some of you that can't handle being appreciated by the other gender.

And I fully understand that outright leering is a bit gross. But lets be real, very few men at the gym are outright leering. I've spent my fair share of time at the gym to know what goes on.

Agree with this guy's post. There are a lot of homosexuals at my gym. Although, it is uncomfortable it's not a reason to alter your behavior at all. Completely, agree with the comment about people making it sound like some form of sexual assault. Now on the other hand, I wouldn't mind it at all of women were staring even if I had no attraction to said lady

And this is another classic example of why what is said in the male locker room really needs to stay in the male locker room...

I just want to point out that a man's experience growing up is very different from a woman's. I won't go into details, but men (GROWN MEN) begin learing at us the second we develop breasts and some of them are more bold than others. A lot of women have been sexual assault victims, too.

I'm not saying you shouldn't look, but I am saying you probably don't understand what we have gone through or why we feel the way we do. A few gay men ogling you in the gym, while you are both adults, is not comparable.

That sounds like a very individual experience. I had a size D chest by 7th grade. I don't ever remember anyone making me feel uncomfortable about it. Maybe because I loved having them.

So you didn't have boys asking you if you could touch your elbows behind your back? Grown men catcalling you from cars as you walked down the street? Boys who thought it was OK to touch them just because they were there?

I guess you were just lucky.

Oh yeah. Then there were the 30-plus-year-old men who would openly tell people in front of me how they couldn't wait until I turned 18 so they could legally have sex with me.

And, no, this is not only MY experience. I know a lot of women who had that experience as young girls. And the more women I meet, the more I realize just how common sexual abuse and rape are. It never happened to me, but I'm finding probably 60% of the women I know experienced it. I was quite shocked the more stories I have heard over the years.

I don't think this thread was necessary. As others pointed out, a lot of women are uncomfortable going to a gym because they fear this kind of thing. It's easier for them if they can pretend it isn't happening, but here it is in black and white shoved in their faces.

Oh my!

I would take bets that the guys posting about leering at women do not actually do it...or at least not as obviously as they are trying to make out in this thread.

Most people glance and appreciate (whether it be form, the weight you are lifting, or how good your booty looks) - the vast majority of the time they do not leer and drool. This thread is a bit unfortunate as the slightly pre-pubescentness (yes, I realize that is not a real word) may be very off-putting to some women..but I bet all it is in most cases is exaggeration.

I have been to a number of gyms, and people watch between sets. You rarely see more than an appreciative glance and I have never seen anyone actually make lewd comments.

Point in case, there was this stunning woman it my gym - she looked like she was a fitness model. Her donk was absolutely fantastic (she did squats and deads btw) and she had a largish bust (proportionately). She wore skin tight pants and tops made out of really thin material. She used to just get on with her work outs. If anyone was going to get leered at, it was her (I had serious glute envy). However, no-one ever bothered her or gave her more than a glance or two.

People really are there to just focus on their work-outs 99% of the time.

So you didn't have boys asking you if you could touch your elbows behind your back? Grown men catcalling you from cars as you walked down the street? Boys who thought it was OK to touch them just because they were there?

I guess you were just lucky.

Oh yeah. Then there were the 30-plus-year-old men who would openly tell people in front of me how they couldn't wait until I turned 18 so they could legally have sex with me.

And, no, this is not only MY experience. I know a lot of women who had that experience as young girls. And the more women I meet, the more I realize just how common sexual abuse and rape are. It never happened to me, but I'm finding probably 60% of the women I know experienced it. I was quite shocked the more stories I have heard over the years.

I don't think this thread was necessary. As others pointed out, a lot of women are uncomfortable going to a gym because they fear this kind of thing. It's easier for them if they can pretend it isn't happening, but here it is in black and white shoved in their faces.

I guess I always felt they gave me power, femininity. If someone wanted to be an *kitten* about them, I brushed it off, and promptly forgot about it. Truly can't recall anyone ever making me uncomfortable.

I don't have a problem with my breasts. My point is that comparing grown gay men looking at grown straight men is not the same as what women have experienced (in general -- just because it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen to a lot of women).

And I promise you that you would not feel so empowered if creepy old men were making sexual comments to you when you were 12.

I would take bets that the guys posting about leering at women do not actually do it...or at least not as obviously as they are trying to make out in this thread.

I think this is very true.

I have been a member of various gyms over many years and whilst many men will look (and appreciate) few will leer (and intimidate.)

I think it is easy for that to get lost in translation online.

This is why I don't go to the gym.

For what it's worth I never had any issues at all with other members at my gym. I workout at home now, but I was there 5 times per week for 9 months and I was never made to feel uncomfortable.

I would take bets that the guys posting about leering at women do not actually do it...or at least not as obviously as they are trying to make out in this thread.

I think this is very true.

I have been a member of various gyms over many years and whilst many men will look (and appreciate) few will leer (and intimidate.)

I think it is easy for that to get lost in translation online.

I agree.

And I'm not so naive as to think even the nicest, sweetest men aren't going to look at an attractive bum walking by. But the women who are uncomfortable about that kind of thing didn't need to see this. It's easy to not think about it until you're forced to.

This thread made me a little uncomfortable, which is funny because I'm not uncomfortable when I actually catch a guy checking me out. It's less creepy than the posts in this thread.

There's also a lot of chain pulling in this thread. Between the real creeps and the hypersensitive there lies the vast majority of people who don't mind being appreciated but certainly don't appreciate being harassed either.

I would take bets that the guys posting about leering at women do not actually do it...or at least not as obviously as they are trying to make out in this thread.

I think this is very true.

I have been a member of various gyms over many years and whilst many men will look (and appreciate) few will leer (and intimidate.)

I think it is easy for that to get lost in translation online.

I agree.

And I'm not so naive as to think even the nicest, sweetest men aren't going to look at an attractive bum walking by. But the women who are uncomfortable about that kind of thing didn't need to see this. It's easy to not think about it until you're forced to.

This thread made me a little uncomfortable, which is funny because I'm not uncomfortable when I actually catch a guy checking me out. It's less creepy than the posts in this thread.

There's also a lot of chain pulling in this thread. Between the real creeps and the hypersensitive there lies the vast majority of people who don't mind being appreciated but certainly don't appreciate being harassed either.

Here is no place for your reasonable tone in here!!

I would take bets that the guys posting about leering at women do not actually do it...or at least not as obviously as they are trying to make out in this thread.

I think this is very true.

I have been a member of various gyms over many years and whilst many men will look (and appreciate) few will leer (and intimidate.)

I think it is easy for that to get lost in translation online.

I agree.

And I'm not so naive as to think even the nicest, sweetest men aren't going to look at an attractive bum walking by. But the women who are uncomfortable about that kind of thing didn't need to see this. It's easy to not think about it until you're forced to.

This thread made me a little uncomfortable, which is funny because I'm not uncomfortable when I actually catch a guy checking me out. It's less creepy than the posts in this thread.

Yep.

The "tone" (and yes, I know it is very hard to decipher actually tone online) comes across as very unfortunate. I don't think that was intended but I am for more women being in the gym (and the free weights section in particular). Does this do anything to alleviate their fears that they will be faced with an uncomfortable or intimidating environment? No.

Yes, yes, yes.

I've been going to gyms for years. I have even been approached by men in the gym. They were ALWAYS perfectly respectful, though. I'm not afraod of that environment at all. But I am also a lot bolder than a lot of women. And when you also have the women who have been overweight all their lives, who are either not used to or are actually afraid of any attention, the problem is compounded.