Why did you dump the person above you?

She was too female

@ Cali- I wanted to be the pretty one in the relationship

To paraphrase Hoobastank: She had a reason. And the reason is you.

She loved her bubble baths more than she loved me :sad:

I didn't get any of that bacon :sad:

she stole all my bacon

@Fatty Can't keep track of his bacon.

@Inner Doesn't eat bacon. Wth?

Stole my identity, made huge orders with Colombia House

She would borrow my shoes without asking

Would stretch my shoes out with his big *kitten* feet