Came for support....so disappointed

Hello I am really sorry you are having a bad experience. I joined a year ago and never got started due to the fact
that I have no time for judgmental people and I have a great support system in family and friends around me.
I recently got a friend request from my dear guy friend and I am here. Sometimes its better to link up with that
one person and get a mentor/motivator. You don't need to be judge by a whole forum of people who know
absolutely nothing about you. Sometimes our bodies just don't function the way it should because of stress,
medication or we just have a slow metabolism. I don't need to be here. I can lose weight by cutting carbs and
I will melt off 20 pounds in two months which is too fast but my metabolism is extremely high. If you wish you
can send me a friend request and we can share info, foods, exercise plans etc. We need support not ignorance.

I've noticed a lot of people confuse "support" with "agreeing with everything I say no matter how dangerous or silly it is." If you just want people to say yes yes yes to you, you're in the wrong place.

^^^^ This

+ 1

OP: sometimes, just sometimes, telling someone that they're wrong and what their doing is possibly dangerous and isn't helping them achieve their goals, is supporting them, because they don't like to see other people doing things that are going to only lead to failure and health problems further down the line. You know, because they actually care about the person doing this to themselves.

Sorry you took it so personally, but my advice is to take the advice of the people telling you to ditch the pills and go for slow and steady weight loss with a sensible deficit.

you posted about taking phentermine and told people who are anti-weight loss drugs not to reply, and you said in your post that each time you used it in the past, you regained the weight

what kinds of replies did you expect?

She expected that we've never heard the "special snowflake" story before.

Apparently, I'm a mean person...

So here is a flower :flowerforyou:

You do what you want. If this is a decision that you're sure about, you shouldn't give a rats @ss what I have to say about it.

As others have already said, if you're looking for people to agree with you about your decision to take diet pills you're probably on the wrong website. No one has actually called you 'lazy' on the forums (it's interesting you believe that word has been used), so you're just going to have to...

I feel like I've seen this thread before. Meh.

Wait, that's mean of me. What I meant was to pat you on the head say "there, there", and assure you that you ARE a special snowflake. Of course diet and exercise doesn't work for you. It will all be OK.

Blunt and honest is fantastic. I have looked at many parts of this forum and there is a very clear difference between blunt and honest and very rude and mean spirited.

And I don't want to be coddled myself, or for anyone to agree with everything I say. I belong to another forum where you're encouraged (in the user agreement) to call someone out on their crap. It is also a support forum.

And people there can become very rude, OR (the thing I seem to come across here the most) wait until one person posts the first mocking/rude reply and then HELLO, PITCHFORKS!

I've also been the person that was rude to other people. I mean RUDE, not blunt. There was a problem with the rude part.

People are rude because they are insecure. If they feel like they have more information than you, then they feel "better" than you. Or they can while they momentarily tear you a new one. Sadly, I've done it. I stopped because 1. It was upsetting people and 2. I didn't like being that person.

So, equipped with that knowledge and having gotten over that portion of my life, I laugh at/ feel sorry for the people who are mean because they *think* they are superior. I'm not intimidated by post count on an internet forum, that literally means nothing, especially if 50% of it is being in the Cool, Super Insecure Kids group that goes around being rude to other, newer posters.

They don't have to be mean. It just looks awesome to their internet friends. Which is hilarious.

So, take what you can, leave the a-holes. They are actually very sad people. And I literally mean ignore them. Don't respond, nothing. They are a little blip. That's all.

Find people who are successfully doing something you want to do.

Listen to these people.

Do what they do.

Succeed.

Or, there's the opposite plan.

For the record, the thread OP is referencing is here (and she was not the poster of the topic) : http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1232454-after-stopping-phentermine-don-t-reply-if-anti-diet-pills

CindyB97 said to you

You said you are "proof" that calorie deficits don't work for everybody. Then what exactly is the point of an appetite depressant? Since a deficit won't help you lose weight, why eat less? I'm confused.

Does anyone see OP being called lazy here?

I said,

Phentermine is an appetite suppressant. It works by making you not hungry so you eat less and therefore have a calorie deficit.

So... calorie deficits work and you just could not maintain a calorie deficit without chemical help.

Calling OP lazy? No. Stating what I considered factual information? Yes.

I also later said this to her:

When you cut calories, oftentimes your NEAT (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis) goes down as your body tries to regulate itself to less calories. While this does "slow" your metabolism, it can be countered without medications such as phentermine. You simply need to be more conscious about movement. Undoubtedly, without the phentermine you were not in a calorie deficit. If you moved more, ate less, or did a combination of the two you would have seen weight loss.

Phentermine is a stimulant as well as an appetite suppressant and you can only use it for 12 weeks at a time. It has a lot of side effects including:

Chest pain
decreased ability to exercise
dizziness
fainting
fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse
headache
numbness or tingling in the arms or legs
swelling of the feet or lower legs
trembling or shaking of the legs, arms, hands, or feet
trouble breathing
trouble with thinking, speaking, or walking
weakness

The fact that you can only take it for 3 months at a time also means that if you become dependent on it to suppress your appetite, the rug is quickly pulled out from under you when you stop taking it because your appetite will come back and you still will not know how to deal with it.

Which I also did not think was mean spirited or calling her lazy. It was mostly not directed to her as she'd already made her decision but to those lurking and considering taking phentermine.

Edit: fixed quote boxes.

And to add, you're going to be hungry...that's part of the deal. That's why a lot of people can't succeed in losing weight. Sorry, but if you really don't want to keep regaining weight, you have to learn to deal with less food.

I feel for you. I've been plateaued/ gaining for over two years while supposedly eating at a deficit. I have run every calculator on the web, and I have tried a deficit from 250-750 calories. I think this covers a reasonable margin of error. I have tried a "reset" and thus gained 15 lbs. NOTHING is working for me either. I bought a new food scale. I weigh, I measure, I even count my chips and nuts. I work out. Usually six days a week. 4 days of circuit training with a lot of strength and 2 days of cardio, usually running. I used a heart rate monitor. I now use a Bodymedia. I have figured net calories and eaten back exercise calories. I have used the %off TDEE method. I tried straight lifting for awhile. I am human, so I'm sure that my logging of both food and exercise is not 100% accurate, but I have tried various deficits! and I should at least be seeing a small loss! not as gain! Currently I am just including a margin of error in my deficit/goal.

Nothing works. NOTHING. (And it used to work. Four years ago I lost nearly 45 lbs using MFP reccomendations. I am still maintaining a healthy weight, but I am unhappy with regaining 15 lbs and not being able to lose it.)

So I certainly understand your frustration. And people on the boards are not kind about this. (Please don't tell me I eat too little--the calculators say I should maintain at 1490 cals for sedentary, so anyone with half a brain can do the math for creating a deficit. Small, low body weight people simply don't burn many calories, even when you add in more exercise ise cals--say 150-200 more a day.)

I personally would not want to try a stimulant, especially since heart issues are all over my family tree, but I would think this has more to do with your doctors recommendations for YOU and no one else. My biggest question would be, and I think you pointed this out--will the metabolism boost from the meds remain when you stop the meds. Very valid question.

I would echo the good advice of several--try to ignore the idiots on the boards who have not been taught basic social skills, sift comments carefully, and add friends carefully who will help you. Add me if you like. I don't have the answers but I am searching and I love hearing new ideas that are presented I a courteous manner.

Blunt and honest is fantastic. I have looked at many parts of this forum and there is a very clear difference between blunt and honest and very rude and mean spirited.

And I don't want to be coddled myself, or for anyone to agree with everything I say. I belong to another forum where you're encouraged (in the user agreement) to call someone out on their crap. It is also a support forum.

And people there can become very rude, OR (the thing I seem to come across here the most) wait until one person posts the first mocking/rude reply and then HELLO, PITCHFORKS!

I've also been the person that was rude to other people. I mean RUDE, not blunt. There was a problem with the rude part.

People are rude because they are insecure. If they feel like they have more information than you, then they feel "better" than you. Or they can while they momentarily tear you a new one. Sadly, I've done it. I stopped because 1. It was upsetting people and 2. I didn't like being that person.

So, equipped with that knowledge and having gotten over that portion of my life, I laugh at/ feel sorry for the people who are mean because they *think* they are superior. I'm not intimidated by post count on an internet forum, that literally means nothing, especially if 50% of it is being in the Cool, Super Insecure Kids group that goes around being rude to other, newer posters.

They don't have to be mean. It just looks awesome to their internet friends. Which is hilarious.

So, take what you can, leave the a-holes. They are actually very sad people. And I literally mean ignore them. Don't respond, nothing. They are a little blip. That's all.

I don't understand posts like this. you complain about people being rude

then you post to say that the people you perceive as being rude are all (add very rude assumptions and underhand insults based on amateur psychology here, about people you've never met and know nothing about here)

....interesting.

If someone's being rude then by all means call them out for it, but you don't need to say a whole bunch of mean things about them in the process.

“We find comfort among those who agree with us -- growth among those who don't.” - Frank A Clark

That is all.

As others have already said, if you're looking for people to agree with you about your decision to take diet pills you're probably on the wrong website. No one has actually called you 'lazy' on the forums (it's interesting you believe that word has been used), so you're just going to have to...

I think I laughed harder at this gif than I have about anything in the past week. Thank you for that! :laugh:

Blunt and honest is fantastic. I have looked at many parts of this forum and there is a very clear difference between blunt and honest and very rude and mean spirited.

And I don't want to be coddled myself, or for anyone to agree with everything I say. I belong to another forum where you're encouraged (in the user agreement) to call someone out on their crap. It is also a support forum.

And people there can become very rude, OR (the thing I seem to come across here the most) wait until one person posts the first mocking/rude reply and then HELLO, PITCHFORKS!

I've also been the person that was rude to other people. I mean RUDE, not blunt. There was a problem with the rude part.

People are rude because they are insecure. If they feel like they have more information than you, then they feel "better" than you. Or they can while they momentarily tear you a new one. Sadly, I've done it. I stopped because 1. It was upsetting people and 2. I didn't like being that person.

So, equipped with that knowledge and having gotten over that portion of my life, I laugh at/ feel sorry for the people who are mean because they *think* they are superior. I'm not intimidated by post count on an internet forum, that literally means nothing, especially if 50% of it is being in the Cool, Super Insecure Kids group that goes around being rude to other, newer posters.

They don't have to be mean. It just looks awesome to their internet friends. Which is hilarious.

So, take what you can, leave the a-holes. They are actually very sad people. And I literally mean ignore them. Don't respond, nothing. They are a little blip. That's all.

I don't understand posts like this. you complain about people being rude

then you post to say that the people you perceive as being rude are all (add very rude assumptions and underhand insults based on amateur psychology here, about people you've never met and know nothing about here)

....interesting.

If someone's being rude then by all means call them out for it, but you don't need to say a whole bunch of mean things about them in the process.

You're right. I thought it wasn't rude, but I could have left some of that stuff out. I could see how it could be seen as rude.

I'm not calling the people out because it doesn't do anything. I found that people just want to be called out on it. I just don't want to feed into that. I could do it. I have specific people in mind here.

It would have been more rude, honestly, if I'd called out specific people, IMO. I would not name people by name. Then it's what? Time for people to attack that person or me? Either way, it's giving both sides something to beat into the ground for the millionth time. I don't want to be a part of drama so I'll leave the names out.

Sorry if I did offend anyone with that. I was really just talking about the rude/mocking people. Not the blunt people. As I said, there's a difference. I just don't see why it is that people justify being rude with "Oh well, we've seen this question a million times from noobs and we're sick of it!" Okay, well roll your eyes and move on to the next post? I don't know. Sometimes it's sad.