Came for support....so disappointed
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I am just posting this because I am very disappointed in my experience so far on this message board. I came here for support, just like everyone else has and instead I have been judged, told I was wrong, been called lazy and countless other things. I have been on this weight loss journey for a long time and for the last 18 months I have not lost anything, even when doing everything correctly (and that has been verified by 2 personal trainers that I work with, a nutritionist and my doctor). Because of this, I have decided (after LONG and THOUGHTFUL consideration and much real research) to be prescribed a medication to assist me. And, this is where people get judgemental and quite honestly, downright mean. I understand that for most people calories in/calories out works - and for those of you that it does - that is awesome! I applaud you! Great job on your successes and I truly wish you every success on the rest of your journey. That didn't work for me. We played with calorie intake. We increased and decreased activity level. We increased weights and decreased cardio...then vice versa. Me, along with my trainers and doctor have worked and worked to get the weight to come off and it hasn't. So, as I am starting this medication, I decided to join MFP to get a little support to help me with this journey. That has not been the case. I understand that I am not doing it the traditional way - but I am trying a medical plan to assist in something that I have been struggling with. I am not changing anything - I am continuing to work out, I am continuing to monitor my calories, track and weigh everything I put in my mouth and I am continuing with both of my trainers, my nutritionist and my doctor. I just don't understand why just because I had to ask for help to treat a problem, that makes me any "worse" than anyone else. I am doing the work - I am just not seeing the results and haven't for 18 months. I appreciate all the work everyone else is doing to make themselves better - I just am not getting that same appreciation or support from here - which is what I thought was the whole purpose for this message board. I am not ready to give it up yet...I am hoping that maybe I can find just a few people who can be supportive, but if that doesn't happen, I guess I will just leave the community.
There are two types of people who comment on threads:
1. Blunt and honest - they tell you as it is (many will back it up with science) regardless of whether they agree with you or not. They give you the facts. It can come across as them telling you you're wrong in an aggressive manner, but many just want to give accurate information, which may contradict what you're doing.
2. Trolls - people that get a kick out of being rude and aggressive, and start arguments for the sake of it.
I have been 'attacked' by trolls on the forums. Best thing to do is report them (if necessary) and ignore them. Majority of people on here are pretty supportive. I get most of my support from my 'friends'. Feel free to add.0 -
The problem is OP that daily people will post that they are doing everything right and not losing weight. Of course there must be something special about them. When we dig a little deeper normally what happens is it's obvious that they are not logging accurately or just using highly inflated exercise figures. I've just had a look at your original post and it reads like that to me. You say you want support but you of course are doing everything right. So if as you say you are doing everything right you obviously only want people who agree with you
There was some great advice given to you in that thread it was up to you how you act on that information. Also the only person to call you lazy was yourself. A lot of time it takes an out side influence to point out where someone is slipping up you however need to be open to others giving their ideas.
Weighloss pills can work in certain circumstances when prescribed correctly but it now seems to be the norm for a lot of doctors to prescribe them without thinking. As people have mentioned before an average GP only has a few hours of Nutrition training and really. Also the majority of personal trainers knowledge of nutrition involves more dodgy Bro science than anything else.
Rather than acting the victim go back look at what people have actually said. Speak to your Doctor and get referred to a dietitian.. Double check your logging is accurate and your using the correct figures. If you are a normal healthyish person you will lose weight if eating at a deficit. If you actually hang around hear you will find in between all the dodgy science and rather strange people there is some good information to be had. Good luck0 -
I have noticed that as well.. lots of judgemental people here... you do what's best for you forget all the haters here. We aren't all like that!0
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The problem is OP that daily people will post that they are doing everything right and not losing weight. Of course there must be something special about them. When we dig a little deeper normally what happens is it's obvious that they are not logging accurately or just using highly inflated exercise figures. I've just had a look at your original post and it reads like that to me. You say you want support but you of course are doing everything right. So if as you say you are doing everything right you obviously only want people who agree with you
There was some great advice given to you in that thread it was up to you how you act on that information. Also the only person to call you lazy was yourself. A lot of time it takes an out side influence to point out where someone is slipping up you however need to be open to others giving their ideas.
Weighloss pills can work in certain circumstances when prescribed correctly but it now seems to be the norm for a lot of doctors to prescribe them without thinking. As people have mentioned before an average GP only has a few hours of Nutrition training and really. Also the majority of personal trainers knowledge of nutrition involves more dodgy Bro science than anything else.
Rather than acting the victim go back look at what people have actually said. Speak to your Doctor and get referred to a dietitian.. Double check your logging is accurate and your using the correct figures. If you are a normal healthyish person you will lose weight if eating at a deficit. If you actually hang around hear you will find in between all the dodgy science and rather strange people there is some good information to be had. Good luck
I certainly don't believe I am "special" - I am just merely sharing what I have been doing and what wasn't working. I don't at all expect everyone to agree with me - I understand that isn't realistic; however, my point has always been there is a way to disagree and be disrespectful. It wasn't on this thread that the word "lazy" was used - it was another. I have read all of the comments, and yes, there were some great points. I am logging and weighing my food. I am mixing up my workouts. I have had tons of medical tests done and while they are in the normal range, they are low normal, so no need for medical treatment. As far as my trainers, they are both certified through NASM in both exercise and nutrition and I have been to a dietician/nutritionist several times throughout this process. And, my doctor was not quick to prescribe...this was a several month process to get to this decision.
I am not saying I am special - I am just saying that I have been doing the work and super frustrated because I have not been seeing results and am looking to change it so that I don't give up completely. I am certainly not trying to be the "victim" as you say, I am merely sharing my story and sharing how disappointed I was in this message board. Just in this thread alone I was called a liar, as well as other nasty comments. Think what you want, but this is not a decision I came to easily and it isn't a "quick fix" as others so easily want to point out. For me it is a last resort to see some results so that I don't give up completely.
And...for those sharing I should join a group or find friends, thank you for that. That is what I have done and wish I would have known that from the beginning.0 -
I still don't understand how if you are in a calorie deficit, and are saying a calorie deficit isn't working for you, why you would go on an appetite suppressant whose sole purpose is to cause a person to eat less and create a calorie deficit.0
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The problem is that you say a lot of things that lose credibility. You had doctors and trainers telling you to cut carbs and start carbs and all of that just sounds like fad dieting. You even got tested for medical problems and the numbers came back normal, so your metabolism/throid/body isn't shot. Every day someone comes on the forum and says that they're eating 1,200 calories for 4 years and they've gained 50 lbs (exaggeration). People get frustrated because it is hard work, so they blame their bodies. I can't tell you how many times I have read, "I've tried everything!" with various numbers of exclamation points.
So you've decided to take weightloss pills. That is your choice. I personally do not recommend it, especially phentermine. I have anecdotal stories of friends who developed heart palpitations, anxiety, and irritability while on that medicine. One of them almost killed her marriage due to sudden lack of libido coupled with panic attacks (that she had NEVER had before in her life). I have found studies online demonstrating the same.
Since there is no medical reason for you to be experiencing weight gain/plateaus, you don't have a long term solution. Weightloss pills are not recommended for lifetime use, especially if you experience the very common bad side effects (50 women with refractory obesity received phentermine resinate for a mere 20 weeks. Three defaulted from the study due to incapacitating headaches without significant change in blood pressure. Two additional patients defaulted due to complaints of irritability. A whooping 10% of women on that study couldn't even stay on the medicine for 4 months).
The FDA only recommends that phentermine is used for "up to 12 weeks" in conjunction with diet, exercise, and behavioral modification. Unless you know why you can't lose weight now, the drug will only temporarily suppress your appetite. You will likely gain back all of the weight when you get off of the drug.
It is possible that the drug will help you realize that you are sated with less food, that you have been over estimating or under estimating something in your diet and exercise. People have tried to communicate that to you without the drug because it has the potential to damage your mental health, in addition to other negative physical side effects (like frequent diarrhea and headaches).0 -
The forums suck, stay away. Only add supportive friends and you'll be fine.0
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yes... only add people that support all decisions.The forums suck, stay away. Only add supportive friends and you'll be fine.
if it wasn't for these forums, I would've continued on in my little bubble of "well, I certainly know more than these people, I just need cheerleaders" mindset.
You can approach this two ways. You can surround yourself with SUCCESSFUL people and ask how they did it, and use their tips... or you can just do it your own way surrounded by cheerleaders.
Now, you can make your own choice, but I'd rather have someone that can kick my *kitten* into gear with what I need to hear / how I need to hear it, and wind up losing 50% of my starting weight... or I can continue on, on my little ship of fail... with my cheerleaders providing me enough hot air to stay afloat.
condemning these forums because you don't agree with people is ridiculous. there are more helpful people here that just get awfully tired of folks like this OP. They keep insisting that they're doing it right and the folks that have lost 100... 140... 150 lbs are telling her otherwise.
So, you tell me... what do you want? a hug and a pat on the back, or success in your goals?0 -
Yeah.. that sucks.
I've only been on here (in the message boards) for the last week and I've seen a LOT of negativity that people perceive as being motivational. Not everyone responds well to negativity/bluntness/criticism/sarcasm, etc.
I would say to find a few friends that ARE supportive and stick with them (as domane1 mentioned).
Not everyone understands another person's situation, so they can be callous.
I hope you don't give up.
I dealt with something similar the year before last when I gained about 60 lbs over the course of 9 months. And 'no' I wasn't pregnant. lol. I tried EVERYTHING. literally, everything from exercising, calorie counting, checking my thyroid, and having a brain MRI (!!). No one could figure out why I was not only gaining, but also unable to lose any weight doing EXACTLY what had previously worked for me.
Then all of a sudden, it just seemed to stop. It was the craziest *kitten* I have experienced in my life. Apparently, my doctors too. So at the end of last year, when I started seeing my efforts were making a difference, I began to really get motivated and go at it again.
Don't be discouraged. Hopefully it will work out for you. But you have to do what YOU and your doctors think is right for you.
Find a good base for support and stick with it, maybe stay off the threads. You can add me if you'd like.
Good luck!0 -
I agree0
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This is a very valid point. If you are sticking within your calorific range and exercising properly etc HOW is an appetite suppressant going to help? It will just make you less hungry so you will struggle to eat the required amount of food to lose fat. I would be more inclined to ask them to check out your thyroid than put you on a suppressant.0
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OP- this form is like anything else in life. You're going to find some people willing to hold and pat your hand and say 'there there'; you're going to find caustic people who themselves have skin of steel and can't fathom that their delivery (however correct their information may be!) hurts; you're going to have people who don't care how they come across; you're going to find others who might vehemently disagree with you but do so in a considerate and polite manner, and you're going to have others who just comment nothing of real value.... point is, and others have already said this, but it's up to *you* to sift through it, glean whatever good stuff you can and discard the rest. It's really no different than anything else in life.
Believe me, I understand your point and I'm of the mind that honey catches more flies than vinegar, but not everyone thinks the same way. That's just life. Deal with it :flowerforyou:0 -
Here's my question: If you're following calorie counts correctly and not overeating or binging, then why do you need phentermine? It's purpose is to subdue hunger, but apparently that's not your issue? Or is it?
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Not sure what I’m missing but if you have a calorie deficit (medically induced or not) I don’t understand how you wouldn’t lose weight.
I haven’t read all the threads and quite frankly I don’t have the time to do so but if people have been rude to you in their remarks it is rather easy to just skip their comments.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Good luck.
V/r,
DW0 -
The forums suck, stay away. Only add supportive friends and you'll be fine.
this is like telling the football team they'll win every game as long as the cheerleaders are on the sidelines.0 -
So if we see someone heading towards a cliff, do we support them?...or tried telling them that direction will lead you to a dangerous path?
Since you, OP, been medical check out and in the normal. The reason your not losing is your NOT in a deficit!!
ETA: OP stop saying people called you lazy, that's a straight out lie!! YOU were the only one who said lazy!! JS
TRUTH HURTS!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I kind of agree. I got called a troll on my board for no reason.0
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I'm sorry that you told people you're using Phentermine and then those people told you that using a pill to lose weight is a bad idea and hey, I'm even sorry that you're feelings are about it.
That doesn't make diet pills not stupid and potentially dangerous and it doesn't mean that people are wrong for saying such. Just means your feelings are hurt.
Some people have no choice, do you think they prefer to take meds. Not everybody does. My doctor finally had to put me on something because NOTHING was working. I dropped a lot of weight and kept it off until I had some surgeries and now I have other issues. I HAVE to workout twice a day if I want to lose 1 lb a week, if I don't and continue to eat under 1400 calories I can and will gain 3 lbs in a weekend. And that is monitored, NO I'm not eating or drinking anything that I'm not supposed to. I stopped working out for a month and gained 10 lbs. Once they realized it's hormonal and I have a low to normal thryroid they prescribed me something to assist me and yes I'm finally losing. Do I prefer to take meds to help with weight loss, NO, do a lot of people, NO. But if you're under a physicians care and you are still eating healthy and working out then kudos to them. It does not make them stupid or lazy. I commend them for not throwing in the towel and giving up completely. Now some pills are potentially dangerous that's why if you are going to take them you should be monitored. I see a doctor/nutritionist weekly. Have EKGs done, constant bloodwork to make sure that I am on the right "diet" medication for my body.
People can be harsh and hurtful and make you feel stupid and lazy that you're taking the easy way out of it, let me tell you. This is NOT the easy way. Go ahead and friend me if you like but whatever you do, don't give up and don't let these simple minded people make you feel worthless.0 -
I'm sorry about that. The best you can do is try to take bad opinions with a grain of salt and find good people. Don't let rude people ruin your progress
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I'm sorry that you told people you're using Phentermine and then those people told you that using a pill to lose weight is a bad idea and hey, I'm even sorry that you're feelings are about it.
That doesn't make diet pills not stupid and potentially dangerous and it doesn't mean that people are wrong for saying such. Just means your feelings are hurt.
This.0
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