Came for support....so disappointed
Replies
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I've been where you are! I've worked my butt off for 3 years and my weight only kept going up. I saw several doctors and nutritionists and worked with a personal trainer...they didn't know how to help me...they were completely baffled. As my weight increased so did my depression and it got to the point I had a hard time leaving my house because of how terrible I felt about myself. Turns out that I have PCOS and am insulin resistant but there is still another component that my doctors can't put there finger on yet because even with PCOS I should lose weight when I am working as hard as I have been. Since being prescribed the maximum dose of metformin for my PCOS/insulin resistance I have started to see the weight slowly come off.
*edit* I should add...I tried phentermine but it didn't work for me because overeating was not the problem. I never had any negative side effect. I also want to add that my endocrinologist says that she has a handful of people like me who gain/can't lose weight despite doing "everything right." She says that we all have numbers that are borderline low...not quite low enough to need medication. She thinks that some people may be more sensitive to hormone levels than others.0 -
Not sure what I’m missing but if you have a calorie deficit (medically induced or not) I don’t understand how you wouldn’t lose weight.
I haven’t read all the threads and quite frankly I don’t have the time to do so but if people have been rude to you in their remarks it is rather easy to just skip their comments.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Good luck.
V/r,
Exactly. You don't fully understand. It's not always about the calories. I gained 30 lbs one month on a seizure medication. I did not increase my calories at all. In fact I wasn't that hungry, yet I still gained 30 lbs. There are just some issues, thyroid, gut flora or medications that will keep you from losing weight.
DW0 -
You need to get yourself a good group of friends. That's where all the support comes from. Start friending people, and as the weeks go on, don't be afraid to delete those who do not support you. Before you know it, you will have an awesome group of friends that encourage you, cheer you and support you. Good luck!!0
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OP -- I saw that you said your blood work was in the low normal range. If this is in reference to thyroid levels, you may want to seek out a thyroid and/or metabolism specialist. I had some tests that were low normal and so for years, I was told everything was "fine" or "within range". It wasn't until I looked further into it and sought out a specialist in thyroid (not just endos -- two of those told these things as well) who was able to look past certain blood tests, measured for other things (he was the first to test for antibodies -- which is text book for Hashi's -- but none had done so before), look into other avenues and treat symptoms, that I finally received the treatment I needed.
Here's a good article on this sort of need to look beyond blood tests (in this case TSH) and about low normal values: http://www.thyroid-info.com/articles/woliner.htm
On thyroid boards, I've found many, many people with similar experiences(especially those with Hashi's) -- who's TSH level is within range, but they're still suffering horrible hypo symptoms.
My doc also looked beyond thyroid to adrenal issues, liver issues, various vitamins and sugar/insulin issues. He found insulin resistance (which was a big surprise to me) along with a couple of severe vitamin deficiencies (D and magnesium). Once, I got all of this on track, I started losing weight like a "normal" person.
Before that I was doing the exact same things and had a 700+ daily caloric deficit and was barely losing or staying the same (I lost 2.2 lbs over 3 months, when according to the calculations, it should have been 15-18 lbs). I shared my experience on these boards and was called some nasty things by some people -- that I was in denial, was crazy, didn't know how to count calories (I was fastidiously weighing EVERYTHING), was a liar, wanted to be coddled, was a "special snowflake" etc. -- much as you've described. It was a great relief to me to finally figure out what the issue was and fix it, but people's reactions on these boards were very disappointing.
I'm so sorry you're struggling with your experience. Sadly things like thyroid and insulin resistance aren't as uncommon as many would believe. Some groups estimate up to 80 million Americans have insulin resistance (or 25% of the population) and thyroid is something like 20 million (60% of which are undiagnosed) according to the American Thyroid Association. It's not just 1% or less. And things like this may be why you're having such a hard time taking off the weight -- I know I did.0 -
OP -- I saw that you said your blood work was in the low normal range. If this is in reference to thyroid levels, you may want to seek out a thyroid and/or metabolism specialist. I had some tests that were low normal and so for years, I was told everything was "fine" or "within range". It wasn't until I looked further into it and sought out a specialist in thyroid (not just endos -- two of those told these things as well) who was able to look past certain blood tests, measured for other things (he was the first to test for antibodies -- which is text book for Hashi's -- but none had done so before), look into other avenues and treat symptoms, that I finally received the treatment I needed.
Here's a good article on this sort of need to look beyond blood tests (in this case TSH) and about low normal values: http://www.thyroid-info.com/articles/woliner.htm
On thyroid boards, I've found many, many people with similar experiences(especially those with Hashi's) -- who's TSH level is within range, but they're still suffering horrible hypo symptoms.
My doc also looked beyond thyroid to adrenal issues, liver issues, various vitamins and sugar/insulin issues. He found insulin resistance (which was a big surprise to me) along with a couple of severe vitamin deficiencies (D and magnesium). Once, I got all of this on track, I started losing weight like a "normal" person.
Before that I was doing the exact same things and had a 700+ daily caloric deficit and was barely losing or staying the same (I lost 2.2 lbs over 3 months, when according to the calculations, it should have been 15-18 lbs). I shared my experience on these boards and was called some nasty things by some people -- that I was in denial, was crazy, didn't know how to count calories (I was fastidiously weighing EVERYTHING), was a liar, wanted to be coddled, was a "special snowflake" etc. -- much as you've described. It was a great relief to me to finally figure out what the issue was and fix it, but people's reactions on these boards were very disappointing.
I'm so sorry you're struggling with your experience. Sadly things like thyroid and insulin resistance aren't as uncommon as many would believe. Some groups estimate up to 80 million Americans have insulin resistance (or 25% of the population) and thyroid is something like 20 million (60% of which are undiagnosed) according to the American Thyroid Association. It's not just 1% or less. And things like this may be why you're having such a hard time taking off the weight -- I know I did.
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Hi hun I hope you don't mind me saying but I have read up on phentermine and it has lots of side effects so please be very careful. Also if you have a thyroid problem are they treating that? You may also find it more difficult to lose weight even almost impossible according to some research I have done but all I will say is stick to the calorie intake suggested by MFP and exercise and you should be fine and please do not listen to the haters as I think they mean well but don't know how to address people x:happy:0
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...for the last 18 months I have not lost anything, even when doing everything correctly...
The fact you can make a statement like that after 18 *months* says you to me that you haven't learned a damn thing.
You ARE NOT doing "everything correctly". Until you can accept that reality, you will continue to fail.
I'd wish you the best of luck....but it's really not about luck.0 -
Not sure what I’m missing but if you have a calorie deficit (medically induced or not) I don’t understand how you wouldn’t lose weight.
I haven’t read all the threads and quite frankly I don’t have the time to do so but if people have been rude to you in their remarks it is rather easy to just skip their comments.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Good luck.
V/r,
Exactly. You don't fully understand. It's not always about the calories. I gained 30 lbs one month on a seizure medication. I did not increase my calories at all. In fact I wasn't that hungry, yet I still gained 30 lbs. There are just some issues, thyroid, gut flora or medications that will keep you from losing weight.
DW
If that is the case then you would know that there was a reason and not make a statement like this person has made. You would know that your meds were the reason and any sane person would then work with their Doctors on the solution and not here.0 -
Not sure what I’m missing but if you have a calorie deficit (medically induced or not) I don’t understand how you wouldn’t lose weight.
I haven’t read all the threads and quite frankly I don’t have the time to do so but if people have been rude to you in their remarks it is rather easy to just skip their comments.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Good luck.
V/r,
Exactly. You don't fully understand. It's not always about the calories. I gained 30 lbs one month on a seizure medication. I did not increase my calories at all. In fact I wasn't that hungry, yet I still gained 30 lbs. There are just some issues, thyroid, gut flora or medications that will keep you from losing weight.
DW
I'd be very interested to know what AED you were on that made you gain weight. I've been on several and my main issue with them has been nausea, loss of appetite, and weight loss, not weight gain.0 -
Not sure what I’m missing but if you have a calorie deficit (medically induced or not) I don’t understand how you wouldn’t lose weight.
I haven’t read all the threads and quite frankly I don’t have the time to do so but if people have been rude to you in their remarks it is rather easy to just skip their comments.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Good luck.
V/r,
Exactly. You don't fully understand. It's not always about the calories. I gained 30 lbs one month on a seizure medication. I did not increase my calories at all. In fact I wasn't that hungry, yet I still gained 30 lbs. There are just some issues, thyroid, gut flora or medications that will keep you from losing weight.
DW
If that is the case then you would know that there was a reason and not make a statement like this person has made. You would know that your meds were the reason and any sane person would then work with their Doctors on the solution and not here.
Except for those of us that went untreated for years (sadly, common with thyroid issues -- they estimate something like 60% are undiagnosed) or were told that everything was "fine" or "within range". Except for those people.0 -
This is the last time I am going to respond to this thread. I will answer some of the questions that people have asked me and then I am done. I am not going to continue to be called names and listen to the nastiness.
I have never said anything about cutting/adding carbs. If that is what it said, it was a typo...I meant cardio.
I am not taking the phentermine to control my appetite, I am taking it for the metabolism booster. Unfortunately there are no other medications that just boost the metabolism. Appetite is not my problem. I am not a binge eater. I have a difficult time getting my calories in everyday.
And, I understand that this is not a long term medication. That was never the plan. I have been working with my nutritionist and doctor and we have a plan in place. I do not intend on taking it for the full 12 weeks. And, there is medical research (actual research published in journals, not just anecdotal online stuff) that indicates a boost in metabolism given by the medication may have long terms effects, even after the medication is out of your system.
I am not saying the calorie deficit doesn't work. And I am not saying I am doing everything correctly. I am saying that everyone always says calories in/calories out and that is what I have been doing. I have been measuring, weighing, logging for longer than I can even remember. I don't put it into my mouth if it is not in my food log and if it hasn't been on the scale. I have had 4 professionals all monitoring me and they have all said that they do not know why I am not losing weight. It is extremely frustrating when you are doing what you are told and nothing is happening. Now, you can continue to judge me and call me a liar, and that is fine. You don't know me. You don't know what I have been doing. You don't know how I feel when I look in the mirror and you don't know how I feel when I am working my butt off to get results and nothing is happening. It is a terrible, terrible feeling and I truly hope NONE of you ever have to feel it. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Again, I wish everyone luck on their journey. I have made my decision. I was fully informed and it was not one that I took lightly. I certainly do not need everyone to support me or agree with me. My original post was that people have been mean and nasty. I can take constructive criticism and I have answered questions that people have had. And now I am done. I am not going to continue to defend my choice, because it was my choice. I am certainly not saying anyone else is wrong for how they feel and I am not trying to change anyone's mind. I guess my original thought was that maybe if we could ask the questions and give criticism without name calling and bashing, then these boards would be much more helpful.0 -
If you're going to post on this forum you've got to learn to soak in the good, and laugh at the rest.
I just had an obese woman in another thread, with only 12 lbs down on her ticker, lecture me about how I chose to eat and lose weight. Trust me, stick around enough and you learn to guffaw your behind off at some of the know-it-alls, bullies, and trolls on this board.0 -
Exactly. Calorie deficit doesn't just work some of the time. If you are calculating it right it works all of the time.I feel for you. I've been plateaued/ gaining for over two years while supposedly eating at a deficit. I have run every calculator on the web, and I have tried a deficit from 250-750 calories. I think this covers a reasonable margin of error. I have tried a "reset" and thus gained 15 lbs. NOTHING is working for me either. I bought a new food scale. I weigh, I measure, I even count my chips and nuts. I work out. Usually six days a week. 4 days of circuit training with a lot of strength and 2 days of cardio, usually running. I used a heart rate monitor. I now use a Bodymedia. I have figured net calories and eaten back exercise calories. I have used the %off TDEE method. I tried straight lifting for awhile. I am human, so I'm sure that my logging of both food and exercise is not 100% accurate, but I have tried various deficits! and I should at least be seeing a small loss! not as gain! Currently I am just including a margin of error in my deficit/goal.
Nothing works. NOTHING. (And it used to work. Four years ago I lost nearly 45 lbs using MFP reccomendations. I am still maintaining a healthy weight, but I am unhappy with regaining 15 lbs and not being able to lose it.)
So I certainly understand your frustration. And people on the boards are not kind about this. (Please don't tell me I eat too little--the calculators say I should maintain at 1490 cals for sedentary, so anyone with half a brain can do the math for creating a deficit. Small, low body weight people simply don't burn many calories, even when you add in more exercise ise cals--say 150-200 more a day.)
I personally would not want to try a stimulant, especially since heart issues are all over my family tree, but I would think this has more to do with your doctors recommendations for YOU and no one else. My biggest question would be, and I think you pointed this out--will the metabolism boost from the meds remain when you stop the meds. Very valid question.
I would echo the good advice of several--try to ignore the idiots on the boards who have not been taught basic social skills, sift comments carefully, and add friends carefully who will help you. Add me if you like. I don't have the answers but I am searching and I love hearing new ideas that are presented I a courteous manner.
how did you lose 45 pounds if calorie deficit does not work for you???
I love the bit where you say you even 'count your chips'. Maybe you should try eating 'clean' instead of processed rubbish. That along with a calorie deficit should help you no end :O)0 -
Exactly. Calorie deficit doesn't just work some of the time. If you are calculating it right it works all of the time.I feel for you. I've been plateaued/ gaining for over two years while supposedly eating at a deficit. I have run every calculator on the web, and I have tried a deficit from 250-750 calories. I think this covers a reasonable margin of error. I have tried a "reset" and thus gained 15 lbs. NOTHING is working for me either. I bought a new food scale. I weigh, I measure, I even count my chips and nuts. I work out. Usually six days a week. 4 days of circuit training with a lot of strength and 2 days of cardio, usually running. I used a heart rate monitor. I now use a Bodymedia. I have figured net calories and eaten back exercise calories. I have used the %off TDEE method. I tried straight lifting for awhile. I am human, so I'm sure that my logging of both food and exercise is not 100% accurate, but I have tried various deficits! and I should at least be seeing a small loss! not as gain! Currently I am just including a margin of error in my deficit/goal.
Nothing works. NOTHING. (And it used to work. Four years ago I lost nearly 45 lbs using MFP reccomendations. I am still maintaining a healthy weight, but I am unhappy with regaining 15 lbs and not being able to lose it.)
So I certainly understand your frustration. And people on the boards are not kind about this. (Please don't tell me I eat too little--the calculators say I should maintain at 1490 cals for sedentary, so anyone with half a brain can do the math for creating a deficit. Small, low body weight people simply don't burn many calories, even when you add in more exercise ise cals--say 150-200 more a day.)
I personally would not want to try a stimulant, especially since heart issues are all over my family tree, but I would think this has more to do with your doctors recommendations for YOU and no one else. My biggest question would be, and I think you pointed this out--will the metabolism boost from the meds remain when you stop the meds. Very valid question.
I would echo the good advice of several--try to ignore the idiots on the boards who have not been taught basic social skills, sift comments carefully, and add friends carefully who will help you. Add me if you like. I don't have the answers but I am searching and I love hearing new ideas that are presented I a courteous manner.
how did you lose 45 pounds if calorie deficit does not work for you???
I love the bit where you say you even 'count your chips'. Maybe you should try eating 'clean' instead of processed rubbish. That along with a calorie deficit should help you no end :O)
Um... no. Eating "clean" vs. "processed" doesn't matter. If there is a deficit, in most people,weight will be lost. The type of food only affects muscle loss and nutrition.0 -
And I am not saying I am doing everything correctly.
That is *exactly* what you said in the OP.0 -
I am very new to MFP and the message boards but I feel quite honestly sorry that you want to blame everyone for your feelings.
No one posted any hurtful comments. They are just asking inquiring questions. Some have even given great advice about hormonal issues. It took me 9 months to lose 40 lbs and 2 months to gain 20 lbs even though I still worked out like crazy but had some extra binges here and there. I decided to see a NMD to check all of my hormones and get regulated because it is more frustrating doing everything right and you can't lose. Meanwhile, my husband eats stricly junk food and loses 10 lbs.
I do need to correct some of your post. Phentermine is not a "metabolism booster". It is an appetitie suppressant. It has similar pharmacologic activity as amphetamines. Metabolism is such a loose, broad term and very inaccurate term.
I feel you are misinformed and feel that your weight issues are the result of your failure. They are not of your failure and everyone on this forum is trying to help you and give you advice you can either take or not.
I have been told by nutritionists that calorie deficiet isn't always an appropriate weight loss tactic. Sometimes calorie intake needs to be increased with reduction or increase of certain macronutrients to find your correct balance.
I wish you well in your endeavor.0 -
Don't let a few bad apples spoil this site for you. Everyone I have met on here has been wonderfully supportive. As long as you are losing your weight in a healthy way then you shouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks. At least you're trying to do something about it which is a lot more than so many overweight people can say. Feel free to add me if you need a supportive buddy
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Don't let a few bad apples spoil this site for you. Everyone I have met on here has been wonderfully supportive. As long as you are losing your weight in a healthy way then you shouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks. At least you're trying to do something about it which is a lot more than so many overweight people can say. Feel free to add me if you need a supportive buddy
Totally agree x0 -
This is a very interesting thread to read through. To all who say this OP and others like her are not calorie counting correctly I have this to say: just because you have had success with your TDEE and calorie deficits does not mean that everyone else who uses the same formula and does not have success is doing it wrong. I recently read that our BMR and TDEE calculators can be off by 30-40%! That is a big difference when you are trying to find a calorie deficit for your body!
I do have a question for those who are knowledgeable on these calculations. Other than body fat percentage not being accounted for, what else can cause the calculation to be off by so much?0 -
This is the internet. People are blunt and mean. Most folks on here (who I have encountered) don't like the idea of using any gimmick to help weight loss. They swear it's not sustainable. It probably isn't. The thing is, they also don't know your motivation. Perhaps you WANT to yo-yo. They also don't know your research. Perhaps, you've found the one silver bullet to rapid and sustainable weight loss.
Again. This is the internet. People CAN be horrible, because they are safe behind their screen. It's not like you can jump through the screen and beat them up. Tho, life would be interesting, if we could.
There *is* support and motivation and help here. You have to look past the idiots and jerks to find it. You also have to have a thick hide for when you really *are* doing it wrong and people bluntly tell you. There really isn't a lot of sugar coating on the internet forums.0 -
Hey a very great site to go to on Facebook is Steps to good health very supportive and gives you suggestions to do. I say go to that site very informative.0
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Hi there I'm new to mfp and I'm so sorry people have been horrible to you that's very unfair. I understand how you feel I have to work very hard to get the weight to come off, harder than most people. I even had Lapband surgery 5yrs ago and while I lost 20ks I've still found it difficult to lose the rest. People just choose not to understand sometimes I think. If you don't mind me asking have you had your thyroid checked as if you have a under active thyroid it can be extremely difficult to lose weight no matter what you do. I'd love to support you and you can talk to me if you'd like to, don't give up, keep going and ignore those who haven't a clue, you're doing what needs to be done for you. Good luck and I'd love to chat again.0
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This is the internet. People are blunt and mean. Most folks on here (who I have encountered) don't like the idea of using any gimmick to help weight loss. They swear it's not sustainable. It probably isn't. The thing is, they also don't know your motivation. Perhaps you WANT to yo-yo. They also don't know your research. Perhaps, you've found the one silver bullet to rapid and sustainable weight loss.
Again. This is the internet. People CAN be horrible, because they are safe behind their screen. It's not like you can jump through the screen and beat them up. Tho, life would be interesting, if we could.
There *is* support and motivation and help here. You have to look past the idiots and jerks to find it. You also have to have a thick hide for when you really *are* doing it wrong and people bluntly tell you. There really isn't a lot of sugar coating on the internet forums.
I've been on internet forums for years. I have never seen cruelty like this. Especially when someone is asking for support.0 -
If it wasn't for the mean, blunt, rude bullies of mfp I would be courting an eating disorder. Did I like what they had to say? No! Did it hurt to.admit they were right? Yes.
Am I alive and healthy because of it... Sure am!
Instead of being ill miserable and sickly I am.strong and happy.
Had they been nice and supportive about it I wouldn't have had the shock I needed to change.0 -
If it wasn't for the mean, blunt, rude bullies of mfp I would be courting an eating disorder. Did I like what they had to say? No! Did it hurt to.admit they were right? Yes.
Am I alive and healthy because of it... Sure am!
Instead of being ill miserable and sickly I am.strong and happy.
Had they been nice and supportive about it I wouldn't have had the shock I needed to change.
Did you grow up in an abusive household? "He wouldn't hit me unless he loved me!". This is one of the saddest comments I've ever seen.0 -
If it wasn't for the mean, blunt, rude bullies of mfp I would be courting an eating disorder. Did I like what they had to say? No! Did it hurt to.admit they were right? Yes.
Am I alive and healthy because of it... Sure am!
Instead of being ill miserable and sickly I am.strong and happy.
Had they been nice and supportive about it I wouldn't have had the shock I needed to change.
Did you grow up in an abusive household? "He wouldn't hit me unless he loved me!". This is one of the saddest comments I've ever seen.
+1
There is a difference trying to explain something to someone and to be flat out mean to them, make fun of them and basically be a bully.
It is typically the same little group of people, and come in to dominate the thread telling people how dumb, illogical and stupid they are.
We treat people the way we want to be treated, I have a feeling if half of these posters were talked to in real life the way they talk to people on these forums, they themselves indeed would have a "butt hurt".
There is a difference between brutal honesty and being belligerent.
I also see a great deal of people offering up their opinion on things instead of their experience. As someone said on my wall the other day, The Dumb Is Strong On The Forums....0 -
I am just posting this because I am very disappointed in my experience so far on this message board. I came here for support, just like everyone else has and instead I have been judged, told I was wrong, been called lazy and countless other things. I have been on this weight loss journey for a long time and for the last 18 months I have not lost anything, even when doing everything correctly (and that has been verified by 2 personal trainers that I work with, a nutritionist and my doctor). Because of this, I have decided (after LONG and THOUGHTFUL consideration and much real research) to be prescribed a medication to assist me. And, this is where people get judgemental and quite honestly, downright mean. I understand that for most people calories in/calories out works - and for those of you that it does - that is awesome! I applaud you! Great job on your successes and I truly wish you every success on the rest of your journey. That didn't work for me. We played with calorie intake. We increased and decreased activity level. We increased weights and decreased cardio...then vice versa. Me, along with my trainers and doctor have worked and worked to get the weight to come off and it hasn't. So, as I am starting this medication, I decided to join MFP to get a little support to help me with this journey. That has not been the case. I understand that I am not doing it the traditional way - but I am trying a medical plan to assist in something that I have been struggling with. I am not changing anything - I am continuing to work out, I am continuing to monitor my calories, track and weigh everything I put in my mouth and I am continuing with both of my trainers, my nutritionist and my doctor. I just don't understand why just because I had to ask for help to treat a problem, that makes me any "worse" than anyone else. I am doing the work - I am just not seeing the results and haven't for 18 months. I appreciate all the work everyone else is doing to make themselves better - I just am not getting that same appreciation or support from here - which is what I thought was the whole purpose for this message board. I am not ready to give it up yet...I am hoping that maybe I can find just a few people who can be supportive, but if that doesn't happen, I guess I will just leave the community.
It's so funny that these people were all picked on at some point in their lives and they turn around on these message boards and snoot their stuck up noses and become the bully themselves. There are a lot of people on here who are downright rude and should be given the boot because all they are doing is bullying people if it doesn't fit in their way of doing things. Just ignore them. I'm sure if they think about some of the things they say , they will realize they are no better than the bullies who bullied them. There are a few really nice people on here. Keep your head up and there is nothing wrong with taking meds. Not any different than getting surgery and "cheating" that way. Keep your head up :-).0 -
I understand that I am not doing it the traditional way...
I'm not doing it the "traditional way" either. Hell I don't even count calories or log food, I come to this board for entirely different reasons. I'm breaking a lot of MFP rules, but I'm doing what works for me. Loud mouths who like to tell me I'm wrong can kiss my ticker.
You're not losing weight communally. You don't owe any of these people a pound of flesh. There are lots of loud mouth know-it-alls around here who seem personally insulted if you don't reach Rome using their road. Who cares? Do what you need to do. There will always be others around who share your view.
And if not here, there is a big, open internet filled with just about every support group message board imaginable. Happy losing!0 -
If it wasn't for the mean, blunt, rude bullies of mfp I would be courting an eating disorder. Did I like what they had to say? No! Did it hurt to.admit they were right? Yes.
Am I alive and healthy because of it... Sure am!
Instead of being ill miserable and sickly I am.strong and happy.
Had they been nice and supportive about it I wouldn't have had the shock I needed to change.
Did you grow up in an abusive household? "He wouldn't hit me unless he loved me!". This is one of the saddest comments I've ever seen.
yes, being aware of your cognitive dissonance is exactly like child abuse, well done!
I see the same thing with science deniers all the time so it wasn't hard to recognise in myself.
People are sometimes blunt with the truth. It's not abusive.0 -
If it wasn't for the mean, blunt, rude bullies of mfp I would be courting an eating disorder. Did I like what they had to say? No! Did it hurt to.admit they were right? Yes.
Am I alive and healthy because of it... Sure am!
Instead of being ill miserable and sickly I am.strong and happy.
Had they been nice and supportive about it I wouldn't have had the shock I needed to change.
Did you grow up in an abusive household? "He wouldn't hit me unless he loved me!". This is one of the saddest comments I've ever seen.
yes, being aware of your cognitive dissonance is exactly like child abuse, well done!
I see the same thing with science deniers all the time so it wasn't hard to recognise in myself.
People are sometimes blunt with the truth. It's not abusive.
But there is a difference between being blunt and being cruel. You can deliver hard truths in a compassionate manner. You can be supportive, firm, honest and kind -- none of those traits are mutually exclusive. Given your post, I'm not sure you understand the difference.
You literally advocated people being mean, rude bullies. Talk about cognitive dissonance -- I think may still have some work to do on that.0
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