Super skinny boyfriend comments on my weight ALL THE TIME

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  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Lose the boyfriend and you will probably lose the weight.

    I don't think your stats sound like you are overweight so you might also want to get yourself some counselling about body image.

    Spend your money on fresh food and start looking after yourself. Making up your calories on lollies is not all that good for you, and doing it just to make your "boyfriend" stop picking on you doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Really, do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who makes you feel like ****. Get rid of him.

    Notice how NO-ONE is supporting this skinny little *****. He's not worth it.
  • PandaCustard
    PandaCustard Posts: 204 Member
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    Please dump his *kitten*. And if you can't bring up the courage to do so, find a bunch of empty food boxes, fill them all with spiders, and strategically place them around your kitchen. Invite him over for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Small snakes will work, too. When he pours himself a big bowl of spiders, grab his chin, look deep into his eyes, and quietly say, "You brought this upon yourself. Now you are cursed." Problem solved.
  • LazyCatNap
    LazyCatNap Posts: 15 Member
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    First, tell him everything that you just told us. It sounds like you never really call him out on anything so he might not even realize what an inconsiderate douche he's being. If he doesn't seem to think that he's in the wrong at all, dump his *kitten*. He needs to acknowledge how bad he's treating you and then show a clear effort to CHANGE. It doesn't matter how much you love him, if being with him is draining you, emotionally or financially, then it's just not worth it.
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
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    Please dump his *kitten*. And if you can't bring up the courage to do so, find a bunch of empty food boxes, fill them all with spiders, and strategically place them around your kitchen. Invite him over for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Small snakes will work, too. When he pours himself a big bowl of spiders, grab his chin, look deep into his eyes, and quietly say, "You brought this upon yourself. Now you are cursed." Problem solved.

    I like you. A lot. :flowerforyou:
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
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    You could lose 120 pounds today with just a few words.
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    Thank you everyone; this is all really helpful!
  • cottagegirl71
    cottagegirl71 Posts: 167 Member
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    agree - an easy and healthy way to lose 120lbs immediately :)
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    Please dump his *kitten*. And if you can't bring up the courage to do so, find a bunch of empty food boxes, fill them all with spiders, and strategically place them around your kitchen. Invite him over for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Small snakes will work, too. When he pours himself a big bowl of spiders, grab his chin, look deep into his eyes, and quietly say, "You brought this upon yourself. Now you are cursed." Problem solved.
    Lol! But he loves bugs and snakes! He'd probably never leave if I gave him free spiders!
    I figured out how to quote!
  • RitaRose91
    RitaRose91 Posts: 38 Member
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    It sounds like you need to take a serious look at your relationship.
    Why are you with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself?
    Why are you supporting someone who doesn't want to support themselves?


    exactly this. and it kind of sounds like he's just using you for the food, especially if he doesn't want to buy his own or what not. I think you really need to evaluate your relationship first before you focus on the weight loss.
  • liha0808
    liha0808 Posts: 31 Member
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    Have no idea how old you both are, but he for one, sounds like he's in high school, yet you've been together for 'YEARS' and he's not making more money yet to contribute financially. I got married 5'2" 110 and was skinny so it doesn't add up that you where chubby, we divorced...primarily over my weight gain. This is called red flags. Your women's intuition.

    Also it doesn't add up that he eats 5 boxes of cereal and all the pasta being a diabetic. Another sign he is immature and isn't taking care of himself. That job will also fall into your hands if you stay...buying the food and monitoring what he's eating.
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    Maybe those comments are his way of getting you to eat less so he can scarf down more of your food.
    Seriously though, his penis must be HUGE.
    :D Well, I don't have anything to compare it to.
    But that could actually be his scheme all along... hmmm...
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    I stayed with a guy for four years who criticized my appearance, gave me an eating disorder, and made me incredibly depressed and insecure. Then I kicked him out, and now I'm healthy and happy. It doesn't matter how long you've been together if he treats you like *kitten*. Lose him, now.
  • SportSpork
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    Sounds like you should focus on losing more than just weight.
    exactly can he atleast get a JOB as like.. a clerk..?
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
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    Wow, this is a lot of information to take in! It sounds like this has been on your mind a lot. Good for you for getting it all out there. Firstly, I am sorry you have to take verbal abuse from your boyfriend. The things he says or insinuates is very insulting. It sounds like he is insecure with himself, so feels the need to take you down in order to make you feel less than what you are. Those comments are NOT supportive of you and is definitely not helping you lose weight. It's a very negative and toxic relationship to be in.

    Second, if he keeps eating all of your food I would be like, hey.. you can't come over because you keep eating my food, or, Hey...next time you come over, bring your own food with you. I think it's so disrespectful for him to just keep staying at your place and then leaving you with nothing. Have you ever told him that it isn't respectful? That's something I would expect a child visiting home from university to do, not a boyfriend!

    Why are you with him? Do you love him? Does he make you happy? Are you are a better person for being with him? I surround myself with people I enjoy being around. Do you enjoy being around him/look forward to hanging out with him? I would think really hard about all of these questions. If you have been with him for awhile, you may just be staying with him out of habit and are scared of the change. But don't be! It sounds like he is greatly holding you back from reaching your full potential and is sabotaging all of your efforts to be more healthy, AND draining your pockets!
    I feel like it'd be mean/selfish to tell him to buy his own food, because I KNOW he never has any money. I mean, I know he needs to get a job but he seems content just waiting for his relatives to give him money and doesn't seem to want one... He did buy his own food occasionally, stuff that I would never eat because I'm a vegetarian and the junk food he sometimes offers me is what made me gain weight in the first place!
    He makes me happy sometimes, and says nice things that make me feel good about myself (mostly only when we're pillow-talking?). I feel like the comments are never intentionally hurtful but it always makes me feel awful. I feel like I'm not exactly letting him hold me back, but I'm holding myself back and just using him as an excuse to not do the things I should, like get a part-time job, lose weight, make friends, etc..... He's definitely insecure, but I'm super insecure too so it's a bad cycle, and whenever I'm assertive I feel bad afterwards.
    I do like hanging out with him, although we don't have much in common. I really have no one else to hang out with because I never made friends properly here when I moved because I was always trying to be focused on him.
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
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    Just break up. Criticising weight or appearance should be an instant deal beaker! He clearly doesn't respect you at all.
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
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    Also you can d waaaaay better than someone who "makes you happy sometimes". That's like the bare minimum standard for a human being!
  • hstoblish
    hstoblish Posts: 234 Member
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    Oh man, I have been right where you are.

    1. This is not about you.

    2. A lot of guys struggle with their significant others being bigger than them in all sorts of ways: physically (taller, wider, whatever), making more money, having better jobs, etc etc. I'm not saying that's the majority of guys by any means, but some guys are like this. And a lot of skinny guys and short guys find this particularly hard. Without going into details, I have really been there myself, but now I'm with someone who doesn't need me to be shorter, smaller, worse at things, less intelligent for him to feel tall, big, talented or intelligent. And that is something worth holding out for.

    3. I'll repeat: this is not about you or your size. This is about your boyfriend feeling insecure about being a skinny guy and putting you down so you stay insecure with him.

    You have a few options - dump him. But I'm guessing that he has some good qualities that you are attracted to and want to see through. In which case, I'd highly suggest counseling because you should have a supervised conversation about this, if for no other reason than having someone else tell you that you are not crazy and that your boyfriend is, in fact, being unkind and perhaps a little bit manipulative. However, don't stick with the guy just because you want to justify the last 4 years.

    Finally, have a look at this: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted and see if his behaviour seems to make more sense. When you try to talk about this, does he make it about your reaction instead of about his own actions?
  • BelindaComedy
    BelindaComedy Posts: 21 Member
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    To put it bluntly he sounds like an *kitten*, and you should work on healthy relationship skills in addition to getting healthy eating wise.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    agree - an easy and healthy way to lose 120lbs immediately :)
    I've seen at least a dozen versions of the same post. And no shortage of people giving the obvious answer. Crazy.
  • tallmominfl
    tallmominfl Posts: 20 Member
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    Dump him. Life is too short for stupid- ness!:grumble: