Why does everyone hate me? The forum Survival Guide.

i am offended by this post

its not allowed.

And yet you claim to not be butthurt.

/amused

thats not hard for you though is it?

Do you feel like being hard to amuse is a positive attribute? Because personally I find that being able to find humor and laughter in most things is a great trait to posses.

So yes, you're right, it's not hard for me to get a chuckle. I hope to never be at a point where amusement is hard to find.

I'm sorry I didn't deliver it with flowers and a get well card,

Again, to compare the nice boards with the rest of the net, I've been on boards where they actually tell newbies they shouldn't be posting until they've lurked for awhile. And most will either outright ignore a newbie, or shred them to pieces.
I have never seen that happen here, in fact, MFP is very pro new posters. They even allow for the same topic to be posted again whereas most boards discourage posting the same type of posts over and over.

(Not that I think its a bad idea to get a feel for a board before posting)

It might read that they have only been on since Feb 2014 but that doesn't mean they know nothing regarding calorie counting/fitness or nutrition

So, your new here and you think you've found the support group you've been desperately seeking to hold your hand through the difficult months to come. You gingerly click on "Community" and either browse a few topics or get eagerly right to sharing your enthusiasm for the newest Rachel Ray endorsed magic pill or that diet plan you found on the internet that claims eating only chick peas will burn every once of fat on your body in 28 days. Then suddenly... something unexpected happens, a fellow user who you've pre-judged as an brother or sister in weight loss solidarity... disagrees. But not just disagrees mind you, but firmly and without consideration for your feelings makeing sure you are fully aware that your new plan of attack will not only fail? But they won't even listen to your clearly internet researched proof as to why they might just might not be privy to the bandwagon.

Then, much to your surprise.. several more members agree with your nemesis and it becomes an epidemic. If they would only listen to reason right? Clearly, you've been attacked and the only solution is to start a new topic let them all know how disappointed you are in how they've chosen to use the forum.

Does this sound like you? Then pay attention.

Welcome to - How to use the internet (specifically MFP) socially 101.

Lesson One: Realize... You could be wrong.

When more then one person contradicts a "dieting experiment" you bring to the table with logic (ie. Just eating food like a normal person), instead of arguing with them until your feelings are soaked in your own tears? Try listening. They clearly aren't trying to hurt you by helping you enjoy food, in fact they WANT you to succeed much more then the people who refuse to tell you the truth for fear it will hurt your feelings. Fun fact? There is so much more to learn if you approach a public forum with and open mind.

Lesson Two: You can't fight science.

Unless you have a medical condition that alters the way your body processes food? Chances are your composition directly relates to the calories you eat, just like everyone else. You are not the exception to the rule so don't waste a learning experience with self diagnosed mumbo jumbo. That piece of bread is NOT your enemy, stop villainizing it.

Lesson Three: Read more then you type.

One great way to avoid an onslaught of internet meanies is to learn the lay of the land long before you contribute to it. The forum is awash with hundreds of the same five topics. "How do I eat all of my calories?", "Why am I not losing weight?", "Does the Atkins Diet work?". If you take the time to look through the history of what others have pioneered, you will avoid an embarrassing faux pas. Plus, you joined this forum to lose weight which means you have something to learn about the process. If the elder members who HAVE reached their goal provide you advice (with a hug or a glare) shut up and listen. Arguing your point is like telling your doctor even though he's diagnosed you with a cold, you know it's a fever whether or not you have the symptoms to support it.

Lesson Four: Stop searching the internet for a substitute to hard work and responsibility.

If the first thing (or 15th thing) you contribute and defend to your death in a public forum is not sustainable and even dangerous? Realize not only will people disagree but they may even do so with prejudice. When you log in, you forget that you are NOT the only new cookie on the dessert tray. There are dozens of others just like you desperate seeking the magic answer to the weight loss goals they've set for themselves... I mean why else would you be here right? But when you post "solutions" that require rainbow colored pills, quarantining food groups, or drinking your meals like a kid with new braces? You are essentially affecting the health of every new virgin soul that stumbles on your witch doctory. I know you may think you are sharing the word of the gods, and the forum gurus just don't know it yet? But had you learned Lesson Three (see above) you'd realize 25 other people posted the same sorted public service announcement last month, each which also met a rather disagreeable end and for good reason.

And last...

Lesson Five: SURPRISE this is a PUBLIC forum.

I know, crazy right? But it's true!! There are people of all walks of life and varied personalities all inhabiting one little corner of the inter-webs. You know what that means? Different opinions, disagreements, and possibility of a lack of emotion when addressing your situation. Now I know you had hoped everyone here was as sweet as your Grandma Ester, I mean she would never say anything without a hug right? But that's NOT the real world. Other members may certainly identify with your struggle but the connection ends there. Don't expect that every one here is looking way to feel special while they shed pounds. Don't expect that everyone has the same level of decorum as you are sure you possess. And don't assume that opposition means "RUDE" when in most cases it's a clear offer of help short spoken or not.

For the most part, if you just read and learn? The forums are a fun place to grow and find success in your weight loss journey. But when you approach a herd of lions like an Alpha and no mane to support it? You will quickly find yourself in the middle of a feeding frenzy with barely enough room to come up for air. Health and nutrition is a very personal subject for a lot of people so when it becomes overly emotional "hurt butt" is a common result. Just realize that even if the lessons are hard? They are ALL trying to help you achieve LONG TERM success not short term Yo Yo-ing.

Now stop crying and start learning and if you feel the need to sniffle? Go spend an hour reading the comments on Youtube, because you've yet to experience "mean".

Good Luck!

you do not need to defend yourself its the internet you can write it how you want.. The post was actually fine, I am not keen on the delivery but the post is not aimed at me anyway. i actually was responding to the bit you said after someone commented WOW. I simply said if you get tired dont respond.

You say that with the assumption that I ever do respond to the posts I'm addressing. Feel free to check my history... I don't. Now can we move on?

you do not need to defend yourself its the internet you can write it how you want.. The post was actually fine, I am not keen on the delivery but the post is not aimed at me anyway. i actually was responding to the bit you said after someone commented WOW. I simply said if you get tired dont respond.

You say that with the assumption that I ever do respond to the posts I'm addressing. Feel free to check my history... I don't. Now can we move on?

move on from what?

Whatever this is I keep pressing reply to with you.

Awesome! I don't know how you get things made "sticky", but this one should be...needs a little grammar and spelling editing though. Don't take offense, just trying to help! :flowerforyou:

Looks at the clock.... Girl, it was like 4:30 am when I wrote that, which is roughly half past the loss of the English vernacular and 4 hours away from a the now 26 hour involuntary insomniac video editing marathon I'm currently experiencing. Grammar or spelling is the LAST thing I'm thinking about right now. You're lucky I could see the screen well enough to press "Post Topic". ;D

Oh, I get it. I am not immune to spelling and grammar mistakes, far from it. Just saying it needs to be cleaned up a bit before become a sticky, especially since a lot of people get called out on their posts for similar mistakes.

Calling out spelling/grammar mistakes is actually against the Community Guidelines.

Just putting that out there.

Huh, I didn't know that. You see quite a bit of it on the boards, especially put in less-than-kind terms. Sorry, no offense meant, just think its important in getting one's point across in a post that is intended for a large audience.

Now stop crying and start learning and if you feel the need to sniffle? Go spend an hour reading the comments on Youtube, because you've yet to experience "mean".

Good Luck!

I really like this line : )

Yup... I like this line too... and could add Babycenter and sodahead into it too.