People suck.
Options
Replies
-
When my office has a luncheon or potluck I don't eat tons and tons of food...I just eat a normal amount of food and enjoy myself. There are some really exceptional cooks at my office and I enjoy their cooking and I can easily manage to hit my calorie goals and macro goals. Portion control is a beautiful thing...you don't have to eat granola bars and diet food and what not to lose weight...you can eat actual food and stuff.
Many people when they are just starting find it hard to deviate from the plan without going overboard. She is doing a good job by understanding herself and what she can handle. One step at a time.
Portion control seems like step one to me. *shrugs*
Right and if portion control is preplanning your meals everyday so that you know what you're eating then she's doing it. I preportion ALL of my meals during the work week. I know exactly what I am eating and the macro nutrients in it. Someone brought in donuts to my class. I didn't take one. they looked AMAZING, but I'd already eaten all my calories by 8pm, so I couldn't have one. Weekends are terrible for me because I have to feed my boyfriend too. So I completely understand not wanting to have to worry during the week about messing up my planned meals
I'm going to go out on a limb and say these are two different scenarios. A pot-luck, at least a successful one, isn't a surprise. She should have known that it wasn't going to occur unlike the sporadic appearance of donuts. And portion control doesn't have to mean pre-planning every meal every day. It can be only putting a scoop of mashed potatoes instead of making Mount Doom and not having space for the 3 or 5 helpings of lasagna. Portion control can be the fact that lunch turned out more expensive than originally planned and so instead of the guilt free double scoop of ice cream for desert, she only takes a small cone from Dairy Queen. Portion control comes down to being action after awareness, not necessarily anal retentive to the point of exclusion. And I will also say, that one day over does not weight gain make. Go on into that break room OP, there are probably some left overs.
Good point! I have turned down a random doughnut (even a free one) on occasion by simply saying, "Hey I just had a candy bar and don't wanna crash this afternoon" or "I'm having cake/pie/[insert high cal dessert] after dinner tonight and want to save my calories." But I'm thinking an office luncheon is generally pre-planned...0 -
Maybe next potluck you can bring a healthy dish to share with everyone? I mean, I don't need to repost the one everyone is quoting about not patting you on the back. I get where you are coming from but if it's a potluck why didn't you participate? You missed an opportunity to bring in one of your favorite healthy dishes - or even just make a big veggie or fruit salad. Not all potlucks I've been to have high calorie foods - it's usually a mix and like every other meal watch your portions.0
-
Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you, and be silent.
Epictetus
Roman (Greek-born) slave & Stoic philosopher (55 AD - 135 AD)0 -
Again, I didn't put anyone down for the food choices they made. I tried to be as polite as possible when SEVERAL comments were made, including the plate in my face incident (how I succeeded in being nice, I don't know). I would love to eat that food. It's been smelling up the office since 8 am. I didn't exclude myself from the potluck entirely, I just didn't eat that food. I didn't say anything in a snotty way or make anyone uncomfortable. I certainly wouldn't go around saying "I'm eating a granola bar and you're all eating ****ty food, you should be eating what I'm eating because I'm better than you!!" I kept my cool. Not saying I'm perfect or any measure of the word, just trying REALLY hard and they make it hard to stick with it. That's all. I wouldn't go out of my way to put down anyone's choices. Usually I'm excited for the stuff-fest, because I like to cook (and eat) but not this time around.. I know that some were just trying to include me (which I appreciate), but some were just downright rude, per the usual.
You don't need to defend yourself. It is a frustration... I get the same types of comments, "You don't need to lose weight, why are you dieting..?" Though I appreciate their observation, I am much more aware of my body composition then they are. I'm never rude about it.. usually a "Well Thank you.." and I leave it at that, but it does get frustrating because you know it's 9 times out of 10 they hate you for being dedicated in an area that's hard to accomplish for most people.
It is with great fear and trepidation I quote you ma'am, but I don't believe the 9 out of 10 rule to be true. Again, it is only my experience, but most times the individuals couldn't care less about me in particular and are instead simply failing in their social skills. Someone has a plate full of food and you have barely anything, so they make a lame joke. It's an awkward situation. Someone works really hard on a dish and is looking for some kind of validation of their accomplishment (motivation and support thread) but doesn't get it and is trying to deal with that immediate lack by some light-hearted teasing. They have a different view of healthy, and honestly can't see why someone would eat so limited. So they make a well intended, poorly executed comment. None of these things are about them hating you or being jealous of your will power. It goes to the fact that people, lacking the time and ability to edit and think out their clever responses, seldom handle social awkwardness gracefully. I would suspect that 9 out of 10 want you to succeed and just have a bad way of expressing it.0 -
When my office has a luncheon or potluck I don't eat tons and tons of food...I just eat a normal amount of food and enjoy myself. There are some really exceptional cooks at my office and I enjoy their cooking and I can easily manage to hit my calorie goals and macro goals. Portion control is a beautiful thing...you don't have to eat granola bars and diet food and what not to lose weight...you can eat actual food and stuff.
Many people when they are just starting find it hard to deviate from the plan without going overboard. She is doing a good job by understanding herself and what she can handle. One step at a time.
Portion control seems like step one to me. *shrugs*
Right and if portion control is preplanning your meals everyday so that you know what you're eating then she's doing it. I preportion ALL of my meals during the work week. I know exactly what I am eating and the macro nutrients in it. Someone brought in donuts to my class. I didn't take one. they looked AMAZING, but I'd already eaten all my calories by 8pm, so I couldn't have one. Weekends are terrible for me because I have to feed my boyfriend too. So I completely understand not wanting to have to worry during the week about messing up my planned meals
Oh, so lunch was a total surprise? And it was impossible to change the food diary in the afternoon or evening? Ok, wow! That was omitted from the OP.
If were impossible to ever change a diary entry, or to make up from a big food day, then I might have agreed. All I know is life is change, and you gotta learn to take things one day at a time and to make adjustments as needed without freaking out. :flowerforyou:
I'm pretty sure no one's freaking out. In fact she handled it quite well IMO. You're right, life IS change, and that's what she is trying to do with hers. It wouldn't hurt any of us to respect her dedication. I'd agree with you if she had went psychotic on her fellow workers, but in this instance she is only expressing her frustration to us. Nothing wrong with that as it IS a support thread right?0 -
When my office has a luncheon or potluck I don't eat tons and tons of food...I just eat a normal amount of food and enjoy myself. There are some really exceptional cooks at my office and I enjoy their cooking and I can easily manage to hit my calorie goals and macro goals. Portion control is a beautiful thing...you don't have to eat granola bars and diet food and what not to lose weight...you can eat actual food and stuff.
Many people when they are just starting find it hard to deviate from the plan without going overboard. She is doing a good job by understanding herself and what she can handle. One step at a time.
Portion control seems like step one to me. *shrugs*
Right and if portion control is preplanning your meals everyday so that you know what you're eating then she's doing it. I preportion ALL of my meals during the work week. I know exactly what I am eating and the macro nutrients in it. Someone brought in donuts to my class. I didn't take one. they looked AMAZING, but I'd already eaten all my calories by 8pm, so I couldn't have one. Weekends are terrible for me because I have to feed my boyfriend too. So I completely understand not wanting to have to worry during the week about messing up my planned meals
I'm going to go out on a limb and say these are two different scenarios. A pot-luck, at least a successful one, isn't a surprise. She should have known that it wasn't going to occur unlike the sporadic appearance of donuts. And portion control doesn't have to mean pre-planning every meal every day. It can be only putting a scoop of mashed potatoes instead of making Mount Doom and not having space for the 3 or 5 helpings of lasagna. Portion control can be the fact that lunch turned out more expensive than originally planned and so instead of the guilt free double scoop of ice cream for desert, she only takes a small cone from Dairy Queen. Portion control comes down to being action after awareness, not necessarily anal retentive to the point of exclusion. And I will also say, that one day over does not weight gain make. Go on into that break room OP, there are probably some left overs.
I get that. All I'm saying is that when you are starting out and learning about portions it is sometimes easier to plan everything and just stick to it. Its security and control.
I preplan everything because if I don't then I have to get take out. I have work and then class most nights so I make my frozen meals and make salads for my lunch at the beginning of the week. I don't have to think or worry about what I'm eating because I know. I also know that I don't have room for certain things.
Yes she could have made something herself and brought it, but then you really are expected to eat other things. And it is hard trying to figure out the calories in some of that stuff. And if you don't know whats in it how do you know if you are sticking to a certain number of calories. She could have just stuck to the veggie tray, but then she would probably still have gotten flack. She could have eaten later and just mingled. She still would have gotten flack if anyone saw her eating later most likely. I don't know what else was offered, I don't know how many calories she had allotted for lunch.
And yeah she knew about it but she didn't know what was being brought so she couldn't have any way of figuring that into her daily totals. My grandma's birthday was yesterday and I gave up rice with my curry so I could have cake, but I figured out all the calories ahead of time and knew exactly how much I could eat. Portion control isn't just about one scoop of this instead of 5, its about knowing how calorie dense something is too and if it fits.0 -
You don't need to defend yourself. It is a frustration... I get the same types of comments, "You don't need to lose weight, why are you dieting..?" Though I appreciate their observation, I am much more aware of my body composition then they are. I'm never rude about it.. usually a "Well Thank you.." and I leave it at that, but it does get frustrating because you know it's 9 times out of 10 they hate you for being dedicated in an area that's hard to accomplish for most people.
It is with great fear and trepidation I quote you ma'am, but I don't believe the 9 out of 10 rule to be true. Again, it is only my experience, but most times the individuals couldn't care less about me in particular and are instead simply failing in their social skills. Someone has a plate full of food and you have barely anything, so they make a lame joke. It's an awkward situation. Someone works really hard on a dish and is looking for some kind of validation of their accomplishment (motivation and support thread) but doesn't get it and is trying to deal with that immediate lack by some light-hearted teasing. They have a different view of healthy, and honestly can't see why someone would eat so limited. So they make a well intended, poorly executed comment. None of these things are about them hating you or being jealous of your will power. It goes to the fact that people, lacking the time and ability to edit and think out their clever responses, seldom handle social awkwardness gracefully. I would suspect that 9 out of 10 want you to succeed and just have a bad way of expressing it.
[/quote]
I'll totally give you that. Though, I choose a random number... I don't actually think 9 out of 10 people are jealous. But your reasoning is just as valid. Can we agree however, no matter how light hearted it is when you are just starting this journey it becomes discouraging to have constant reminders that you are separating yourself from the group? As humans we are often so pack orientated that making the decision to do something different is unnerving enough, and it's only natural to get frustrated when others pick on that choice. Would you agree that she is justified in feeling that frustration?
(and no need for trepidation, I'm only a sarcastic *kitten* when approached with juvenile sentiment .. I'm very fond of mature debate)0 -
When my office has a luncheon or potluck I don't eat tons and tons of food...I just eat a normal amount of food and enjoy myself. There are some really exceptional cooks at my office and I enjoy their cooking and I can easily manage to hit my calorie goals and macro goals. Portion control is a beautiful thing...you don't have to eat granola bars and diet food and what not to lose weight...you can eat actual food and stuff.
Many people when they are just starting find it hard to deviate from the plan without going overboard. She is doing a good job by understanding herself and what she can handle. One step at a time.
Portion control seems like step one to me. *shrugs*
Right and if portion control is preplanning your meals everyday so that you know what you're eating then she's doing it. I preportion ALL of my meals during the work week. I know exactly what I am eating and the macro nutrients in it. Someone brought in donuts to my class. I didn't take one. they looked AMAZING, but I'd already eaten all my calories by 8pm, so I couldn't have one. Weekends are terrible for me because I have to feed my boyfriend too. So I completely understand not wanting to have to worry during the week about messing up my planned meals
Oh, so lunch was a total surprise? And it was impossible to change the food diary in the afternoon or evening? Ok, wow! That was omitted from the OP.
If were impossible to ever change a diary entry, or to make up from a big food day, then I might have agreed. All I know is life is change, and you gotta learn to take things one day at a time and to make adjustments as needed without freaking out. :flowerforyou:
I'm pretty sure no one's freaking out. In fact she handled it quite well IMO. You're right, life IS change, and that's what she is trying to do with hers. It wouldn't hurt any of us to respect her dedication. I'd agree with you if she had went psychotic on her fellow workers, but in this instance she is only expressing her frustration to us. Nothing wrong with that as it IS a support thread right?
Mocking the office for not having her ironclad willpower is hardly "handling it well" IMO. If this really was so unimportant to the OP, I doubt she would have posted a thread seeking validation for her snub.
I can't imagine being so strict that one cannot deal with a pre-planned potluck without derailing a diet bodes well for long-term adherence.
As my husband often says, you'd be surprised how little people actually think about other people.0 -
Yes she could have made something herself and brought it, but then you really are expected to eat other things.
She actually did do that... ;D0 -
Yes she could have made something herself and brought it, but then you really are expected to eat other things.
She actually did do that... ;D
Missed that. Good for her.0 -
Mocking the office for not having her ironclad willpower is hardly "handling it well" IMO. If this really was so unimportant to the OP, I doubt she would have posted a thread seeking validation for her snub.
Where precisely did she mock anyone? She described what most food laden events become... all you can eat binges. She did NOT however say that it was unhealthy for anyone else, she didn't express distaste for their choices, nor did she impose her "willpower" choice on anyone else.
Are you trying to create drama? Because it certainly is odd to be so defensive of some random people you've never met in a situation that wasn't as serious as you're making it out to be.
Oui, this is silly. So much butt hurt over some random persons food choices.0 -
I'll totally give you that. Though, I choose a random number... I don't actually think 9 out of 10 people are jealous. But your reasoning is just as valid. Can we agree however, no matter how light hearted it is when you are just starting this journey it becomes discouraging to have constant reminders that you are separating yourself from the group? As humans we are often so pack orientated that making the decision to do something different is unnerving enough, and it's only natural to get frustrated when others pick on that choice. Would you agree that she is justified in feeling that frustration?
(and no need for trepidation, I'm only a sarcastic *kitten* when approached with juvenile sentiment .. I'm very fond of mature debate)
Much agreed. If I wasn't eating a salad for lunch than everyone who walked into the break room felt the need to make a comment on whatever it was. It got to the point where I was eating my food out in my car just so I didn't have to deal with folks. What ended up happening was that one of the guys that was giving me the hardest time, ended up searching me out and telling me that everyone was asking about me and some of them were worried since they knew I was trying to lose weight and thought I was hurting or sick. Long story short, it was horrible execution for well intentions from all involved, myself included. Excluding myself wasn't the answer, much as their teasing. Making a dramatic change from the popular culture is terrifying to start out and can be very frustrating. My whole contention with the OP was more with her mindset of "the stuff fest". Kind of like the different threads where folks demonize certain foods, there is no reason to point at an office potluck with the amount of disdain she seemed to hold at first.0 -
When my office has a luncheon or potluck I don't eat tons and tons of food...I just eat a normal amount of food and enjoy myself. There are some really exceptional cooks at my office and I enjoy their cooking and I can easily manage to hit my calorie goals and macro goals. Portion control is a beautiful thing...you don't have to eat granola bars and diet food and what not to lose weight...you can eat actual food and stuff.
Many people when they are just starting find it hard to deviate from the plan without going overboard. She is doing a good job by understanding herself and what she can handle. One step at a time.
Portion control seems like step one to me. *shrugs*
Right and if portion control is preplanning your meals everyday so that you know what you're eating then she's doing it. I preportion ALL of my meals during the work week. I know exactly what I am eating and the macro nutrients in it. Someone brought in donuts to my class. I didn't take one. they looked AMAZING, but I'd already eaten all my calories by 8pm, so I couldn't have one. Weekends are terrible for me because I have to feed my boyfriend too. So I completely understand not wanting to have to worry during the week about messing up my planned meals
Oh, so lunch was a total surprise? And it was impossible to change the food diary in the afternoon or evening? Ok, wow! That was omitted from the OP.
If were impossible to ever change a diary entry, or to make up from a big food day, then I might have agreed. All I know is life is change, and you gotta learn to take things one day at a time and to make adjustments as needed without freaking out. :flowerforyou:
I'm pretty sure no one's freaking out. In fact she handled it quite well IMO. You're right, life IS change, and that's what she is trying to do with hers. It wouldn't hurt any of us to respect her dedication. I'd agree with you if she had went psychotic on her fellow workers, but in this instance she is only expressing her frustration to us. Nothing wrong with that as it IS a support thread right?
It sounds like freaking out to me. Perception....
0 -
Office pot luck lunches were one of my earlier challenges to overcome. Sometimes, I would be the first one at the door. I try to always remember that peoples' goals are different than mine now. Unless they actually been down this journey then they don't have a glue as to your struggles to lose weight. I remain respectful but no longer attend office pot luck lunches even though I strongly believe in moderation. If anyone would ask, I am honest with them and never had any problems. As far as waving the plate of food in your face, I really don't think they meant any harm. Co-workers could be silly at times, especially over free food. Just try and remember that people have to come to terms with overeating just like we did and it takes longer for some. The same with family and friends. Try not to allow it to upset you too much.0
-
Stay cheerful and don't enter the conversation?0
-
Rock on sister. Welcome to the club....I just ignore them....do your thing and smile at your success
At the end of the day they are just jealous. 0 -
It sounds like freaking out to me. Perception....
To each their own I guess. Well, you go ahead and continue to ridicule the ridiculed and I'll keep seeing what I can do to help, in the end we'll see who comes out with the positive result. Luck to you. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'll totally give you that. Though, I choose a random number... I don't actually think 9 out of 10 people are jealous. But your reasoning is just as valid. Can we agree however, no matter how light hearted it is when you are just starting this journey it becomes discouraging to have constant reminders that you are separating yourself from the group? As humans we are often so pack orientated that making the decision to do something different is unnerving enough, and it's only natural to get frustrated when others pick on that choice. Would you agree that she is justified in feeling that frustration?
(and no need for trepidation, I'm only a sarcastic *kitten* when approached with juvenile sentiment .. I'm very fond of mature debate)
Much agreed. If I wasn't eating a salad for lunch than everyone who walked into the break room felt the need to make a comment on whatever it was. It got to the point where I was eating my food out in my car just so I didn't have to deal with folks. What ended up happening was that one of the guys that was giving me the hardest time, ended up searching me out and telling me that everyone was asking about me and some of them were worried since they knew I was trying to lose weight and thought I was hurting or sick. Long story short, it was horrible execution for well intentions from all involved, myself included. Excluding myself wasn't the answer, much as their teasing. Making a dramatic change from the popular culture is terrifying to start out and can be very frustrating. My whole contention with the OP was more with her mindset of "the stuff fest". Kind of like the different threads where folks demonize certain foods, there is no reason to point at an office potluck with the amount of disdain she seemed to hold at first.
Again, I can totally see your point. I don't see her as demonizing food yet, and it would be unfair of me to make that assumption based on one comment. I took a look at her diary and she's eating in a health range, a variety of foods as well. I think she just chose a bad descriptive in this situation. I think however, if we help her cope vs. ridicule her? We could help her learn to handle those situations better. Trust me, I'd be a jerk if she'd responded to anyone with disrespect... but she's not been an *kitten* at all. Quite sweet rather, just frustrated.0 -
Ah, OP, I know how annoying that is. But people honestly don't know what they're doing. It's one thing if they KNOW you are trying to change your lifestyle and are flaunting food in your face. That, IMO, is just rude and unwanted behavior. Their behavior was uncalled for, but I don't think they meant to be mean.
But I agree with what someone else posted earlier. Humans are awkward and weird. If they see you doing something different, they don't know how to act. Common sense would be to just not react at all, and keep their noses out of your plate, but well, a lot of humans lack that, and some are just nosy and/or concerned.
I sometimes get those comments because potlucks scare me lol. I'll only eat the food where I know who cooked it. I don't want to eat food if your cat was on the counter dropping her dingleberries in the bowl or if you are a "taster (sticking your fingers in the bowl or licking the spoon)" LOL but i'm deviating from the topic.
Just ignore them and continue to eat your own food. Or you can just eat small portions. But only if you want to. Don't let anyone else dictate your choices.:flowerforyou:0 -
It sounds like freaking out to me. Perception....
To each their own I guess. Well, you go ahead and continue to ridicule the ridiculed and I'll keep seeing what I can do to help, in the end we'll see who comes out with the positive result. Luck to you. :flowerforyou:
Not ridiculing anyone, just providing alternative reactions to an office luncheon. :flowerforyou:0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 399 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 981 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions