I need a new husband

124

Replies

  • Begood03
    Begood03 Posts: 1,259 Member
    Learn from your mistakes and don't get married again!
    Yes, live with them, don't marry them. It makes upgrading much easier.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    Learn from your mistakes and don't get married again!
    Yes, live with them, don't marry them. It makes upgrading much easier.
    ^^^^^^This
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Learn from your mistakes and don't get married again!
    Yes, live with them, don't marry them. It makes upgrading much easier.
    ^^^^^^This

    Yeah I kinda figured that out 2 years ago when I decided I want a divorce and can't seem to get out alive.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Okay I guess I need to clarify that by "getting out alive" I do not mean that he beats me (although he'd like to he knows I'd put his *kitten* in the ground). I just mean I can't get out on my own two feet and don't have outside help.

    Can we get back to the witty jokes? It was really making my day...
  • ImaWaterBender
    ImaWaterBender Posts: 516 Member
    Yes. I have one of those.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Yes. I have one of those.

    have one of what?
  • ImaWaterBender
    ImaWaterBender Posts: 516 Member
    I meant to copy your message where you mentioned that he undermines your weight loss because he is insecure. I have one of those.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    I meant to copy your message where you mentioned that he undermines your weight loss because he is insecure. I have one of those.

    I just can't wrap my head around people like that. Don't they realize it's their behavior that will make us leave, not our achieved good looks?
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    Have you heard of the mechanical boyfriend? I hear it doesn't talk back, never tells you no, an dyou can take batteries out at anytime.

    They generally lack good conversation ;)

    go to toastmasters..... LOL
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Have you heard of the mechanical boyfriend? I hear it doesn't talk back, never tells you no, an dyou can take batteries out at anytime.

    They generally lack good conversation ;)

    go to toastmasters..... LOL

    Haha don't think that's going to help much. I mean, it's not going to say anything other than vvvvrrrrrrrrr so what's the point? I mean, do I need to take him to Dr. Phil too? lol
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    think that's all the conversation you need at the moment... well that and "yes please, another double margarita would be lovely" :drinker:
  • williamshl10
    williamshl10 Posts: 60 Member
    I think you need to reconsider the whole B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) scenario. Just open your mind and take B.O.B. with you everywhere you go around the house. Sit him at the dinner table and fix him a plate. When your husband doesn't understand what is going on, simply tell him that you have upgraded to someone that cares about your needs, doesn't insult you and always knows how to have a good time :) Don't fold his clothes, only yours. Fix dinner everynight for yourself, not with him and always have B.O.B. in your back pocket, because you are unseperatable :) Sometimes you have to treat a child like a child. I use a stuffed animal for my kids, I talk to it and make it lunch and play with it and they get really upset I am not giving them attention and I tell them, "If you don't think you need to listen to your mother, then I might as well have this bunny be my new kid. She sits still, doesn't yell at me and knows how to get along with others." It takes about a day of that and they are all back to their "Mother may I" stage :)
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    I think you need to reconsider the whole B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) scenario. Just open your mind and take B.O.B. with you everywhere you go around the house. Sit him at the dinner table and fix him a plate. When your husband doesn't understand what is going on, simply tell him that you have upgraded to someone that cares about your needs, doesn't insult you and always knows how to have a good time :) Don't fold his clothes, only yours. Fix dinner everynight for yourself, not with him and always have B.O.B. in your back pocket, because you are unseperatable :) Sometimes you have to treat a child like a child. I use a stuffed animal for my kids, I talk to it and make it lunch and play with it and they get really upset I am not giving them attention and I tell them, "If you don't think you need to listen to your mother, then I might as well have this bunny be my new kid. She sits still, doesn't yell at me and knows how to get along with others." It takes about a day of that and they are all back to their "Mother may I" stage :)

    That won't work for my husband, but now I have to try the stuffed animal with my kid! Thanks!
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    I do not approve of this thread :angry:
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    *sigh*
  • aprilyankee
    aprilyankee Posts: 345 Member
    I love this thread! Wildly entertaining :) I need a new boyfriend as well as I kicked mine to the curb. Give the BOB a chance, conversation is overrated.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    haters-gonna-hate-comb.gif
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    I just want somebody to kill spiders for me.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    I just want somebody to kill spiders for me.

    Date an exterminator?
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    I just want somebody to kill spiders for me.
    giphy.gif \m/
  • kittyrevealed
    kittyrevealed Posts: 8 Member
    RUN! Run like the wind! My ex was like that. I'm intensely grateful that we ended it and it was done in such a way that he was the one that felt like he did it. It helps. I'd rather he and his friends talk about the wicked witch ex than still be there. My current guy is much more supportive and caring and loving and I am actually getting healthier along side him and he helps cheer me on.

    I hope things get better for you.

    Congrats and thank you :)
    Sadly, I'm not financially stable enough to run away from this one yet. Maybe I should start adding requirements to my replacement.

    I did that. These were my top 3:
    * Must like sushi.
    * Must like Indian food.
    * Must like to be set on fire. ;)
  • pilatesXOpixie
    pilatesXOpixie Posts: 70 Member
    I just want somebody to kill spiders for me.


    hahaha, true story.
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
    My boyfriend's name is Hitachi. When you want quality, always buy European or Japanese. ALWAYS.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    (Okay trolls, have fun. I really need the laugh tonight.)
    I think you have our roles confused.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I say divorce or find a boyfriend.

    Or get some awesome battery operated boyfriends and get on here for conversation. :)
  • chele1028
    chele1028 Posts: 248 Member
    After what mine said to me yesterday, I raise my hand to this, and I like the BOB idea as well!! Lol
  • histora
    histora Posts: 287 Member
    Depending on the size of the hubby, you could lose anywhere from 180-300+ lbs should he meet an unpleasant demise.

    Does he like hiking in the canyons near unguarded drop offs?

    (I kid, NSA!! You know I prefer disposing of the body in the pig pen.)
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
    My boyfriend's name is Hitachi. When you want quality, always buy European or Japanese. ALWAYS.

    That *kitten* is cheating on me!!! :)
  • luadams2
    luadams2 Posts: 122
    Get a dog instead. They don't argue with you, are always happy to see you, are loyal, and can be trained to obey on command.
  • MrsPaulSmith
    MrsPaulSmith Posts: 401 Member
    I'm thinking a string of boy toys... That would be fun.

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