Weight loss FEARS?

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  • EHolstrom
    EHolstrom Posts: 2,563 Member
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    Excess skin and that my husband would stop loving me. Seriously. He supports me and is proud of me but in the back of my head im always concerned he wont love me the same
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    In all honesty that my husband wont be as attracted to me....:noway:

    I am the currently the smallest woman he's has ever been with...at one point I was mid range for him.

    He has told me tho it doesn't matter to him what I weigh as long as I am happy and confident and sexual he will be attracted to me.
  • DefiningMyHealth
    DefiningMyHealth Posts: 92 Member
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    That I'll lose all the weight and still be ugly... Lol! I try to make light of it, but it's still a legitimate fear. That I'll never actually be happy with myself.
    From what I can see, you are beautiful now. I can only imagine that your beauty will still shine through after weight loss.
  • toronto_j
    toronto_j Posts: 206 Member
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    I don't know if I will lose enough to worry about excess skin...but my bras are already too big after 20/25 pounds lost. :( I also worry about the money I'll have to spend on new clothes. I bought a lot last year, before I decided to lose weight. :( And even though I feel an inherent change in the way I relate to food and exercise, I do worry that I will give up and gain it back. Have to remember how much better I look and feel!
  • blkane1984
    blkane1984 Posts: 23
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    My fears are more emotional. I fear that people will relate to me differently. Also, I fear the response from people to my changing look. I don't like drawing attention based on my appearance. It feels shallow for people to focus on just my outward appearance and offends me in a way that feels discriminatory. I want people to notice me because I'm smart and a good person regardless if I'm thinner or heavier. The journey to be thin is mine and just for me.
  • Nix_Way
    Nix_Way Posts: 201 Member
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    Biggest fear is after I lose all my weight, I'll become one of those jerks who after its all over act like they are the bomb dot com..
    Please, PLEASE someone smack me upside the head if I do!!

    Thank you in advance! :flowerforyou:
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
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    I'm worried about the loose skin too. With 4 pregnancies and limited elasticity in my skin and only 40 pounds from my goal weight and I'm already perfectly happy with the way I look aside from my stomach, I think about it daily and work on it nonstop, it is working but I fear I will always have to tuck my stomach into my pants :sad: I am waiting until I get really close to my goal and I'm going to talk to my doctor about what can be done. Gaining it all back is another huge fear but I think I finally got it now...
  • DefiningMyHealth
    DefiningMyHealth Posts: 92 Member
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    Biggest fear is after I lose all my weight, I'll become one of those jerks who after its all over act like they are the bomb dot com..
    Please, PLEASE someone smack me upside the head if I do!!

    Thank you in advance! :flowerforyou:
    HA!!! I love that, the bomb dot com!!!!
  • elothen
    elothen Posts: 155 Member
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    The breast thing seriously doesn't matter. I think a beautiful body has a lot to do with proportion. Look at the celebraties, they come in all sizes too.

    @Lemondrop - Not possible, lol

    The excess skin... well, that's an honest concern and seems to be a real pot shot. I avoided it, many others have too, but many have not. Even if that is a problem for you, you will still feel sooo much better physically that it really is worth it.
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
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    My fears are more emotional. I fear that people will relate to me differently. Also, I fear the response from people to my changing look. I don't like drawing attention based on my appearance. It feels shallow for people to focus on just my outward appearance and offends me in a way that feels discriminatory. I want people to notice me because I'm smart and a good person regardless if I'm thinner or heavier. The journey to be thin is mine and just for me.

    This will likely happen, I've lost friends with my weight, I think some people were only friend's with me because with me, they were no longer the fat one so I made them look better. They were never my friends anyway.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Re: loose skin - part of this is genetics, part of it's how you lose the weight and if you're active and age (the younger you start the better). You just have to hope for the best. Also, it can take up to 2 years after meeting goal for your skin to recover so you're going to have to be patient about the results.

    Something to think about for those of you worried about the loose skin thing...

    I've lost a little over 90 pounds over the last 4+ years and I definitely have loose skin. HOWEVER, I've pretty much come to terms with it. When I was heavy I had to hide my body so while I wish I could "flaunt" a bit more with my slimmer figure, it's just not going to be possible. So basically I went from one reason to hide certain parts to another but so be it. Plus, I still have some fat to lose so I'm hoping the skin tightens up a bit as I get closer to goal. And at 40 years old, I'm never going to be a bikini model so does it really matter in the end? Nope. I love myself for several other reasons than how my body looks naked.

    My brother on the other hand was quite heavy and also lost fairly slowly but ended up with minimal loose skin. So you just never know.

    To be honest, I wish "the girls" hadn't deflated so much and I'm seriously considering plastic surgery to get them back to where they should be. I'd also considered having my stomach done, but honestly, I think that's a slippery slope because I've got plenty of loose skin in my upper arms, thighs, where my back fat was, etc that I'd have to get my whole body done to look perfect and that's just too much money spent and too much of a risk. It's one thing to want nice cleavage but another thing entirely to want a whole new body IMHO.

    In the end, you have to just come to terms with the fact that your body is going to do whatever it does. Instead of focusing on getting skinny or getting to a certain size, focus on improving your diet, fitness and overall health. I may not be bikini model material but I'm still cute as hell and kick *kitten*! :)
  • EreborsPrincess
    EreborsPrincess Posts: 139
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    That I'll lose all the weight and still be ugly... Lol! I try to make light of it, but it's still a legitimate fear. That I'll never actually be happy with myself.

    Madeline, you're gorgeous!! You have the most beautiful complexion and you look so pretty.

    Hush your mouth, girl. :flowerforyou:
  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
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    I lost a lot of weight in my face and it made me look older, and it shows how long my face is, which is weird.
    So my fear is looking skeletal.
  • DefiningMyHealth
    DefiningMyHealth Posts: 92 Member
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    The breast thing seriously doesn't matter. I think a beautiful body has a lot to do with proportion. Look at the celebraties, they come in all sizes too.

    @Lemondrop - Not possible, lol

    The excess skin... well, that's an honest concern and seems to be a real pot shot. I avoided it, many others have too, but many have not. Even if that is a problem for you, you will still feel sooo much better physically that it really is worth it.
    You know every time I see a post I like I want to click "LIKE" Damn it anyway that they don't have a like button on MFP!!!!! This was great though and head on,
  • Shelley6591
    Shelley6591 Posts: 156 Member
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    That I'll lose all the weight and still be ugly... Lol! I try to make light of it, but it's still a legitimate fear. That I'll never actually be happy with myself.


    Ugly??!! you're going to have to pick a new fear....:noway:
  • hush404
    hush404 Posts: 95 Member
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    As with most of the replies here, excess skin and re-buying clothing at least enter my mind. As does the possibility of not reaching a certain feeling with my goal. Will meet all of that when the time arises, I guess.

    To any women out there that worry their husbands/boyfriends out there won't love them because they lose weight (including breast volume), you shouldn't worry. If they truly love you, they'll love you no matter the weight or condition. If for some reason they use the excuse, there's deeper issues to how they feel than just your body image.
  • DefiningMyHealth
    DefiningMyHealth Posts: 92 Member
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    To any women out there that worry their husbands/boyfriends out there won't love them because they lose weight (including breast volume), you shouldn't worry. If they truly love you, they'll love you no matter the weight or condition. If for some reason they use the excuse, there's deeper issues to how they feel than just your body image.

    AGREED!
  • centaurizoe
    centaurizoe Posts: 115 Member
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    Like some others, I worry I won't be happy with how I look...I am worried that since I just had a breast reduction, my boobs might look limp (although I've been assured that with slow weight loss and weight training that shouldn't be much of an issue). Mostly, and this might sound vain, I am worried that people will talk meanly about my old weight. For instance, a friend commented on how my breasts before "would just plop to both sides when I lied down before" - something I'd always been embarrassed about, but knowing others thought it was unattractive/gross was upsetting. I fear that people will say things like "NOW you look good in a pencil skirt, before you never did!" or the comment I FEAR MORE THAN ANYTHING "now your body matches your face" (I've always been told I have a pretty/beautiful/blah blah face).

    Yep, depressing forum.
    Oh, at the same time, I am worried that I will be too sexy that too many guys will want to be my boyfriend and I won't know which one to choose! And I will go broke buying new clothes. :laugh:
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    Biggest fear is after I lose all my weight, I'll become one of those jerks who after its all over act like they are the bomb dot com..
    Please, PLEASE someone smack me upside the head if I do!!

    Thank you in advance! :flowerforyou:

    you don't have to be a jerk but you can still be the bomb...I feel sexy as hell to be frank and love my new body...I feel like da bomb, act like it but not a jerk about it I hope...
  • toolzz
    toolzz Posts: 163 Member
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    As someone who has lost 50 lbs (in my 40's) and maintained for over 6 years..currently 50 and in the best shape of my life I think I can tell you that you will grow to love your new body, your renewed health, the general optimism that comes from being the best that you can be. It eventually becomes less about a number on the scale and more about all the posibilities a healthy lifestyle affords you. I have a little bit of everything that has been mentioned, smaller boobs, a little loose skin, chubby cheeks turned into cheekbones.....it's all good because I'm happy.

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