Most embarrassing thing you're willing to admit

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Replies

  • RainRedfield
    RainRedfield Posts: 597 Member
    Let me start by saying I have a seafood allergy that causes things to liquify and travel through my body at high rates of speed.

    I was visiting Alaska and decided it would be alright to enjoy a Halibut filet before going deep sea fishing on a speedy little fishing vessel. They didn't bother to let me know the restroom (AKA the "head") wasn't functional. So a short while after our departure (and at a high rate of speed) my body was not happy. Well, the captain was under a time constraint so he wouldn't turn back (he didn't even want to slow down) so I dropped trou and hung off the ladder on the back of the ship and just let loose. Happily, everything cleared myself and the vessel, but I was ever so slightly embarrassed by my rectal pyrotechnics.
  • sadiebrawl
    sadiebrawl Posts: 863 Member
    So, I had just started on a high protein diet........as some of you might have experienced........it gives you terrible stinky gas. I work in a very small office of women and we have what we refer to as the "fart closet" a small little utility where we tend sneak in when we feel like we need to let one rip. Well after spending a big portion of my day either clenching it up or hanging out in the closet, it was finally time to leave, yayyy! I couldn't wait to get in my car and let it all out! The moment i got in my car in was on......it was the most amazing ( and smelly lol) fart i ever experienced! A second later I hear a knock on my window.......the cute doctor down the hall is outside, crap! I waited a moment, hoping the that somehow the smell would go away. He kept looking at me like" what the heck is wrong with this girl?" I finally decided to roll down the window, what else could i do? I was hoping he would keep his distance, but no, he literally leans into my car!! I know he could smell it!!! i was mortified, I still feel embarassed when I see him lol.

    you should have laughed and asked if he had a match. :laugh:

    guys appreciate fart humor...

    hee hee this one made me laugh... i love the walk of shame to my care at the end of the day.... R E L I E F
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    I'm a moderator of an anon community which is considered one of the wrost place on the web.

    Everybody knows about it, everybody reads it, but nobody admits they post there.

    OaklandRaidersNation.com ??? :huh:
  • sadiebrawl
    sadiebrawl Posts: 863 Member
    I'll add to the poop party. story I have never told anyone except my husband.

    I was pregnant and constipated. A winning combo BTW. I was at a baby shower at a hotel. I ate a good amount of food an suddenly started sweating... I knew it was coming.... I had to waddle to the hotel lobby's bathroom because I was scared of using the one in the hall since it had been quite a few days.....

    I clogged the toilet. Do you know how hard it is to clog a hotel toilet? Very! It was like the toilet exploded. I just ran back to hall. A few minutes later I heard people yelling outside "close down that bathroom!!!!"

    ugh.
  • ashandstuff
    ashandstuff Posts: 442 Member
    REALLY GROSS:
    Back in 6th grade (must have been 11 years old) I started my TOM during class. The class was very long and I was too paranoid to move, so it just...kept...happening.

    By the time the class ended there was blood EVERYWHERE.

    Everyone saw, and no one helped. My male teacher had no idea what to do. I just walked around the rest of the day with blood soaked pants. :(

    Pretty mortifying for an 11 year old.
  • veggievixen79
    veggievixen79 Posts: 109 Member
    Some of these stories are killing me!

    I work for a construction college, teaching English and Math to construction workers in their 20's. One day I put on my favourite pair of skinny work pants and realised that the last time I wore them, the whole butt had split from crotch to waist. I have no idea how much of the lesson I taught with my neon-green thong (along with the rest of my booty) hanging out of those trousers! And the little jerks didn't say a word.....

    Needless to say, split trousers = back on MFP, stat!! And I'll be wearing boyshort undies to work for the rest of my life.
  • missmuse1
    missmuse1 Posts: 11
    I was in college, in a cafe ranting about one of my friends on the Internet when I suddenly realized that friend was silently standing behind me, looking at the screen.

    I spun it somehow.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
    I can only think of things that are completely inappropriate TMI. they shall remain my secrets....you will be spared.
  • The_Aly_Wei
    The_Aly_Wei Posts: 844 Member
    I'm afraid of balloons. And I have a crush on Optimus Prime and Archer....

    I have a crush on Archer too!
  • BarbellBlondieRuns
    BarbellBlondieRuns Posts: 511 Member
    I'm afraid that a ghost will grab my ankle from under the bed when I go to sleep at night :indifferent:
  • Orion782
    Orion782 Posts: 391
    REALLY GROSS:
    Back in 6th grade (must have been 11 years old) I started my TOM during class. The class was very long and I was too paranoid to move, so it just...kept...happening.

    By the time the class ended there was blood EVERYWHERE.

    Everyone saw, and no one helped. My male teacher had no idea what to do. I just walked around the rest of the day with blood soaked pants. :(

    Pretty mortifying for an 11 year old.

    That might be the worst thing. EVER.
  • jchap389
    jchap389 Posts: 54
    REALLY GROSS:
    Back in 6th grade (must have been 11 years old) I started my TOM during class. The class was very long and I was too paranoid to move, so it just...kept...happening.

    By the time the class ended there was blood EVERYWHERE.

    Everyone saw, and no one helped. My male teacher had no idea what to do. I just walked around the rest of the day with blood soaked pants. :(

    Pretty mortifying for an 11 year old.

    You poor thing. I can't decide if this one wins, or the guy that sh** himself in the gym....
  • megnay
    megnay Posts: 65 Member
    One time I was so drunk, I peed the bed LOL
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    I pee everytime I do jumping jacks ..lol

    ^ This, but everytime I jump on a trampoline, cough or sneeze.

    Ah, love what pregnancy has done to my bladder control.
  • GC527
    GC527 Posts: 272 Member
    If I have to pee in the middle of the night I run to the bathroom and then fly onto my bed upon return to prevent any monsters from grabbing my feet as I am getting in or out of the bed. I know.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Women will understand the horror of this one....my worst fear ever happened:

    When I was in labour with my second son and I was at the start of the "pushing" stage, I crapped all over the delivery table spread eagle right in front of the doctor and nurse. The aroma filled up the room. I just wanted to DIE.

    My labour came on so fast that I didn't have a chance to clean myself out prior.
  • Reedern
    Reedern Posts: 525 Member
    When I was a teen we went to Lagoon (the amusement park close by) and while riding one of the rides the spins and squishes you up against the outside edge, I peed myself. I had denim on which as you know stays wet FOREVER. Needless to say the next ride I went on was one that gets you very wet to try to hide it!
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    I still play Dungeons and Dragons

    I also collect Magic Cards...

    Although I'm not really embarrassed by all that.

    I used to have an awesome blue deck - with Unglued cards. People hated playing with me. :P
  • crashdolly
    crashdolly Posts: 19 Member
    These are hilarious!

    One that still affects me all the time - including today in the supermarket - I'm scared of mushrooms. I'm ok with the factory farm style closed-cup but anything else creeps me out - even just slightly different. I have been known to scream and run away on opening the fridge to find my husband had put one out of place where I wasn't expecting it.

    I have also fallen out of a portaloo drunk at a festival with my trousers down! Luckily I had chosen to wear men's boxers that day and they were firmly up!

    The more I think about it, the more ridiculous things I remember!
  • KeepGoingKylene
    KeepGoingKylene Posts: 432 Member
    I wanted to be Zack Morris and be in the Zack Attack. Friends forever....lol

    Awesome! I always wanted to be Kelly lol
  • MCarbary
    MCarbary Posts: 48 Member
    I bought new gym shorts that I thought would be long enough for me to lift in but when I sat down and was getting ready to bench, a young lady walked up to me to let me know that a certain part of my body was hanging out the leg of my shorts :\
  • MuscleAndMascara
    MuscleAndMascara Posts: 1,260 Member
    I'm starting to like my gyms crappy music....


    :embarassed:
  • elusive_design
    elusive_design Posts: 1,095 Member
    I once walked through a closed glass door, in highschool, because I was being tormented by a young vixen and not paying attention to where I was going. Not into. Through.
  • brabbit42069
    brabbit42069 Posts: 120 Member
    >driving with friend
    >accidentally grab his leg instead of gearstick
    >we both laugh and I unzip his pants
    >park the car while I fondle his balls
    >he is laughing because he knows it's just a joke
    >start suckin his **** in this empty parking lot
    >almost choke on it because I'm laughing so hard
    >he is also laughing his *kitten* off
    >he starts yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO"
    >he cums and I swallow it all like some stupid *kitten*
    >I kiss him and call him a *kitten* while laughing

    I love playing pranks on my friends
  • vervains
    vervains Posts: 51
    I watch and record all the Cheaters episodes that air daily. It's my guilty pleasure.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    I have "Call me, maybe" stuck in my head and I kind of don't mind
  • TE76RA
    TE76RA Posts: 209 Member
    A few years back I was out with friends and a man came up behind me and started kissing my neck and his hands were wandering. I thought it was my bf but when I turned around it was some random guy, I dont know who was more embarrassed me or him as his date was wearing the same clothes as me, he thought I was her!!
  • StacyRenee77
    StacyRenee77 Posts: 2,732 Member
    Many years ago, I got so drunk I pissed in the cat pan!!
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    REALLY GROSS:
    Back in 6th grade (must have been 11 years old) I started my TOM during class. The class was very long and I was too paranoid to move, so it just...kept...happening.

    By the time the class ended there was blood EVERYWHERE.

    Everyone saw, and no one helped. My male teacher had no idea what to do. I just walked around the rest of the day with blood soaked pants. :(

    Pretty mortifying for an 11 year old.

    I teach 6th grade and this happened in my class last year. Luckily, the girl kind of signaled to me what the problem was and I was able to create a diversion while she left the room. Then when the bell rang and the kids were gone I busted out the biohazard cleanup kit. I felt bad for her, but I don't think anyone noticed. I feel like teachers should get badges for the different kinds of bodily fluids we clean up. I'd do it again though. Kids can be mean as hell...
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I once got busy in a burger king bathroom

    I once got busy behind a dumpster in an alley
    I also got busy at my local nature trails I walk, behind a tree

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