husband jokes' about my body
Replies
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For the love of god kick his *kitten* out when he acts like a jerk. Go to your Moms for a few weeks and just tell him that you are joking .
This. Honestly, I would wonder why I was married to such a person, and you are about to have his baby? Goodness, my heart goes out to you.0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!0
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I'm glad you stood up to him and told him that you wasn't being overly sensitive, he was being insensitive. You deserve better than that and so does your baby.
Enjoy pregnancy and being a mum!
Congratulations. 0 -
Your husband is a jerk! You're pregnant for gods sake. Even if you weren't he should love you for who you are not what you look like. Im sure you are not in the same shape as when you got married and he isn't either. That's called life. We all change as days go by. Sit him down and make him listen to how you really feel. If you don't feel you can do that write him a letter and mail it to him. You could mail it registered mail so that he has to sign for it and that way he cant say he didn't get it.0
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Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
In for wild generalizations, xenophobia, and blatant sexism. :drinker: :flowerforyou:0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
Oh brother.0 -
Ask him to drop his pants. Look at him for a second, then smirk a little, shake your head and walk away.
When he mentions it, tell him you are just teasing and he should quit be so super sensitive.
^^^ this. Love it.0 -
Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
Thank goodness your eggs are all dried up!0 -
Ignore your husband.
Pregnancy isn't about how you look so much, obviously it's important....but don't go limiting yourself in calories and nutrients your baby needs to grow.0 -
He has a nasty streak- playing on your vulnerability.
I don't care how good looking he might be - that behaviour is UGLY.
You will always be beautiful if you are a kind and happy person.
Enjoy your pregnancy and your beautiful little baby!0 -
Honey--i am so sorry that your husband has no respect for your feelings..I hate men like that and I think you should GET RID OF HIM..Kick his Butt to the curb..I know that you are pregnant and it is hard=this man is only gonna make you paranoid and your self esteem will be lower--You need to stay positive and think about yourself and the Baby.. I am so glad that I have a wonderful Hubby.. He loved me when i was 448 lbs and now he loves me afte i have lost almost 250 lbs--thats realy love..Too many people are so judgemental in this world..I pray that people learn to take the speck ou their own eyes before they judge others..Only God has the right to Judge.. Hugs and Prayers Dear--I wish you the Best..SusieQ from PA0
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I am 21, 5'4, weighing in at 220 pounds ???? I am currently taking in around 1000-1100 calories a day and needing to start my running and HIIT! Any suggestions!?! I plan on losing 60+ pounds in 5-6 months! Is it do-able!?! Please help me0
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Do Mediterranean men simply want to be the children to their wives rather than have them? If I were a fertile young woman dating men of that culture I'd get sterilized or move. Or maybe import a man. And I thought American men were terrible!
Oh brother.
This is awful!!!
Also, if anyone suggested violence I want to say violence is never ok.
Anyway. Op is probably gone, if not a troll. But, go see a counselor, not mfp forums.0 -
Im totally frustrated with my husband. Im 20 weeks pregnant, i gained 5-6 pounds since i got pregnant (started at 123 lb now 128-129 for 5'8). I dont think i am fat, and i actually enjoy my pregnancy body, i dont feel like the rest of my body changed, beside bigger boubs and belly bump.
I am slight straight apple shape, but it never been an issue for me, i actually always liked my body, and always used to get compliments. My self esteem just dropped, even before getting pregnant, if i gain a pound or two, he will try to pinch on my waist or if i am naked he will tell me to look athim, stare at my belly/waist, for a little while, and i am juststanding therenaked , waiting/hoping for a compliment and he will say nothing. I f i ask him, he will just sigh and say: "nothing".
When i tried bringing it up, that it bothers me, he just turns the whole thing into a joke, saying, " im just teasing you are being super sensitive" or that i should know that he adores my body and that i used to model before so i shouldnt even question how attractive i am.
But i dont want to be attractive to others or to fashionmagazine or to other men, i want my own husband to compliment my body to not only pick on it.
Since i became pregnant, of course iam only getting thicker around my waist and my belly, so its getting worse. Today after athe silly fight, he tried making up with me, and he came over saying : well i am sorry my little whale, you actually not a whale, you were shaped as a tennis racket, now you look like a frog,....tahnk god you are pregnant of boy not a girl"
I just lost it, and started crying, he said come one im teasing you, and then decided thag i was jusg being dramatic and continued toact like nothkng was going on.
I cant even imagine how hard on me he is going tobe when i will gain more weight, orwill my body will change after the baby is born, what if im not stick skinny right away, or if I got stretch marks, or if my boubs saggs!
I really dont know what to do, it makes me want to stop eatkng completly so i wont gain another pound!!
Im sorry for the hormonal rant but i feel like im losign it and i dont know what to do anymore.
Why do you stick with such a guy?0 -
I am 21, 5'4, weighing in at 220 pounds ???? I am currently taking in around 1000-1100 calories a day and needing to start my running and HIIT! Any suggestions!?! I plan on losing 60+ pounds in 5-6 months! Is it do-able!?! Please help me
You should start your own new topic thread otherwise you're threadjacking the original poster's thread about what her husband says to her. A post like this buried in a thread about a different topic isn't likely to get you that many responses, so please start your own thread.
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Uh huh... I see...I really dont know what to do...0 -
guess I'll be the jerk and play devil's advocate...so was he a shallow jerk when you married him? Did he continue to act like a shallow jerk after you were married? Did he tease people with you based on how they looked and nothing else? I'm guessing you knew what he was like when you married him.
You indicate that you were/are a model. Is he also in the industry in some manner? Does he model or work with model's regularly?
remember, we're only getting one side of the story here. He may have a totally different take on the situation and you're looking for goblins where non really exist or at least not to the extent you think they do. Is he acting toward you the same way he has always and you didn't mind, but it's just now that your pregnant (hormonal), body changing, feeling insecure, etc., so he is having a tough time adjusting so quickly to your changing body and mindset?
Like I said, just playing devil's advocate. Sounds like this guy may have been a jerk way before you became pregnant.
2 sides to every story.0 -
I hope OP finds what she needs0
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He has a nasty streak- playing on your vulnerability.
I don't care how good looking he might be - that behaviour is UGLY.
You will always be beautiful if you are a kind and happy person.
Enjoy your pregnancy and your beautiful little baby!
Awesome0 -
Happily, your priorities are about to change. Focus on doing what's right for the baby (inside you, not the one you live with). Sorry about the husband, he sounds like a prick.
So agree! He does not realize how fortunate he is to have you and his future child! Put a stop to this behavior, NOW!:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:0 -
Honey..I don't know if you are still reading this thread...but I wanna tell you a story.
I was married to my college sweetheart. He seemed like a great guy. Then I gained weight. I'm not talking 20 lbs but over 75 lbs from where I started.
We were in a bad stretch with money at the time and he was looking to start a new job in another town with us moving. Things were very stressful. He never said anything particular about my weight except that he "wanted me to live as long as him" and "take better care of myself." He was lucky enough to be able to eat anything he wanted and not gain at this point.
He started to, how should I put this, develop hydraulic issues. When after repeat issues with this, I mentioned that we might want to un-stress our lives a bit, that maybe it's taking a bit of a toll on us. I was informed that the issues he was having was not him at all, but directional proportional to the size of my behind (not exact words but you get the drift). After a good fight, another good fight two weeks later and one month of tense living, I moved out.
Now, he's with my ex-friend and a father to at least one kid I think.
Before you think I'm babbling, here's what I'm trying to say. Leave. Or go to counseling, or something. The problem you have is this, if he is this way about a natural concurrence happening in your body that he helped create, what is he going to say to you or your kid in the future?
I just see problems. I am happier than I have ever been and I believe he is much happier without me too. It's not easy to walk away, but sometimes you just have to do it. Take of your kid and you.
Good luck, and if you need support, feel free to write me.0 -
he is an insecure manipulator. he controls you by making you feel bad about yourself in order to feel better about himself. don't take the bait! if you are happy with your body, let no one's ignorant comments bother you, including your husband, who vowed to love, honor & cherish you, yet enjoys making you squirm with thinly veiled negative judgment.
Live for you & your baby, take care of your body because you are living for two. Let your husband know that his passive/aggressive bullsh*t is not the way a loving husband treats his wife, & will not be an acceptable form of communication for either you or your child - THINK ABOUT THAT - WILL HE TALK TO YOUR CHILD THIS WAY TOO?!! You're letting it happen to you, will you let that happen to your child?
Surround yourself with people who help you see the beauty you possess, gather your confidence, & stand up to him. Your happiness & your baby's happiness depend on it.0 -
When your self esteem is intact - no amount of insults can get to you.
It does not mean that hey should be spoken or tolerated. Your husband is fortunate not to know the loss of a wife or child. Congratulations and take care and blessing to you and your dear child.0 -
I wish there is some way I could give you a hug.
Your body is changing because you are making a human being.
If your body wasn't changing, then you'd have something to worry about!
You may want to find an illustrated guide on pregnancy and how a baby grows and take your husband through it with you, step by step.
I think sometimes men just don't "get" what making a human being means, they get anxious, and their nervousness comes out in thoughtless comments.
Next time he makes a thoughtless remark say: My body is making our child. If it wasn't changing, our child wouldn't be growing.0 -
Hello everybody, thanks you all for taking time to answer and support me!
I dont have relatives over here, besides his family, so I wont be able to move out for a while, I just got a room in a touristic center for the week end.
His comment about it being a boy not a girl its about some cultural old belief, that boy make that mum pretty during pregnancy, and girls make the mum swell even more and gets ugly. My sister in law is pregnant of a girl, and my in laws cant stop comparing us, how i stayed thin bc i have a boy and how she swell bc its a girl ( she is 8 months pregnant, thank god she gained weight),.... sensitivity or personal boundary seems be missing in the constitution of this country!!!
Anyways, this is how it went this morning, he wake up all lovey dovey, being all nice and sweet, he clearly knew i was still mad, saying come on, why I was still mad, I didnt respond, until he saw me packing, then he wents nuts, starting saying how i was blowing things out of propoertion, and get me to tell him what did he wrong!? Where was i going to go !? And why i was packing a swimsuit.
Then i went on: dont you dare make this about me overeacting and that his little whale needs a break and will go take a dive". He did his usual speech:" You know that i am just teasing you, i adore your body, i think you are perfect,..yadi yadi yada."
I then name how frenquently he does it, and how often i tell him that i find it hurtfull, whats the point of joking or teasing me about smth, that according to u its not even true, that i dont think its funny and that hurts me !?! And you know it does!!! Would you like me to give you a taste about your own medicine, would you think its funny, how would you react !?
He recognize, that he wouldnt like it either, he wont do it again and he apologize for being so insensitive, BUT, when i asked why does he do it then, he keeps on apologizing and saying that he doesnt know why, just didnt realize he went that far.
I then said, that for him to stop, he needs to know whats the reason behind that behavior, that i need a break for the weekend anyways, i will go back monday after work, but by then I hope he will figure out a solution to find out why.
He tried coming with me or making me stay, I just told him that I was not mad at him anymore, just really concerned about his behavior, and the baby and us serve healthier environnement to live in. BUT I really needed this weekend off everything.
He can understand, and he will go to therapy if he needed to , I jumped on the idea, and i said i think its great you thought of it, Monday after 6, works for me!
So we will see...thanks again, I really would have lost it without your support, thanks a lot!!
Just read this sincerely hoping for the best, take care.0 -
Pregnancy and kids are HUGE stressors on a marriage.
Suddenly you go from being responsible for yourself and one other adult, to being responsible for the total care and well-being of a helpless little person you love more than life itself.
If I had to do it over again, I'd spend less time on the nursery and more time in couples' therapy to get ready for this huge change. It is pretty wonderful to be a parent, but it takes work to stay a couple with all the new demands on you and your relationship.0 -
Pregnancy and kids are HUGE stressors on a marriage.
Suddenly you go from being responsible for yourself and one other adult, to being responsible for the total care and well-being of a helpless little person you love more than life itself.
If I had to do it over again, I'd spend less time on the nursery and more time in couples' therapy to get ready for this huge change. It is pretty wonderful to be a parent, but it takes work to stay a couple with all the new demands on you and your relationship.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: good thinking!!!!0 -
Ask him to drop his pants. Look at him for a second, then smirk a little, shake your head and walk away.
When he mentions it, tell him you are just teasing and he should quit be so super sensitive.
And repeat frequently.
This! He shouldn't be such a jerk!!0 -
No. your child comes first, you second, and your abusive husband dead last after the litter box.
^^^^ THIS ^^^^
I'm not an abusive husband... but I am in that exact same pecking order. The kid first, the dog second, then, the wife... and if there's still a few minutes left in the day, me. That's just how life works. Some days the dog gets first priority. The boy is older now.
Good husbands (read: you) take priority over the litter box. But just the litter box. 0 -
I agree -- kick him in the butt and leave for a few days. He should be praising your new body and the wonders that are going on. He is an idiot and not worth your worry. Those kind of jokes hurt and should not happen. You could always say with what is below your belt I should be happy I was able to get pregnant then laugh and walk away. Give as good as he is and he will find out how bad it feels.0
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