Any child free peeps on MFP?

Your mom wishes she was child free

I have been reading these comments and this made me LOL! :laugh:

One of my besties is CHILD-FREE and she gets harassed all the time. She has also been with her b/f for 7 years or so and so there is of course, when are you getting married comment. To each their own I say! I am sure she dreads the day they do marry because I am sure the "when are you having kids" question will pop up more often. I never understood why people push for other couples to make these decisions. If they are happy, they are happy. They dont' need your advice. She has also told me that she doesn't want children, I respect that.

The same can be said for me who divorced 10 years ago, I am asked non-stop, when are you going to re-marry! :huh:

Also my boyfriend is childless (37 yr old) but accepts that I would like to remain BABY-FREE since my kids are older. Maybe I should start that thread.

Cheers, fun topic to read and interesting responses all around. We all have to do what makes us happy!

There are so many factors that go into the choices we make. People that choose not to have kids for environmental reasons have other deeper more personal reasons as well why they do not want to birth children. Adopting and fostering is a very important and involved job that should not be entered into lightly or by every person. It is a commitment that a person needs to be certain is right for them and the child(ren). Pre-counseling may determine that it isn't. Some people have an instinctual drive, influences from family or their upbringing. We are humans, learning as we go along, from all of our life experiences. I had a very strong drive to be a mother when I was young. I have since reflected on the many origins of that. Personally, I learned a lot from motherhood that was important to me personally (but would not be for other people). I have 2, and have made the firm and solid decision to never be pregnant or birth any more children.

I think it's sad if a person experiences difficulty from their child free choice.

I wish people could respect each other. Respect a child free choice. And be respectful to children and parents.

I planned on being child free by choice, but then it just happened. I was young. But I'm glad I was young because now I'm 36 and almost empty nesting, it's nice to have a house sitter/pet sitter when I go on vacation without having to hire one! lol

I tell him all the time I had him just so I would have a free maid now that he is a teenager. (half joking)

My boyfriend is strictly child free by choice, thinks babies are horrible parasites and the world is far too overpopulated and hopes for a massive catastrophe that leaves a clean slate, just the animals to inherit the planet.

So your boyfriend hopes that you, him, your son, and everyone you know and love dies a horrific death?

I wonder what a psychologist would say that that tells us about him? And what it tells us about anyone who would choose to be with him knowing that about him, and to expose their impressionable teenage child to him?

I feel bad for your son

I planned on being child free by choice, but then it just happened. I was young. But I'm glad I was young because now I'm 36 and almost empty nesting, it's nice to have a house sitter/pet sitter when I go on vacation without having to hire one! lol

I tell him all the time I had him just so I would have a free maid now that he is a teenager. (half joking)

My boyfriend is strictly child free by choice, thinks babies are horrible parasites and the world is far too overpopulated and hopes for a massive catastrophe that leaves a clean slate, just the animals to inherit the planet.

So your boyfriend hopes that you, him, your son, and everyone you know and love dies a horrific death?

I wonder what a psychologist would say that that tells us about him? And what it tells us about anyone who would choose to be with him knowing that about him, and to expose their impressionable teenage child to him?

I feel bad for your son

I think her boyfriend is probably referring to something like the biblical flood. Sometimes I think this planet needs a fresh start as well.

No kiddos. I'm happy with my life the way it is. So is my fiancé.

Yup - but obviously I'll change my mind (ask anyone they've told me often enough since I was 19 years old).:huh:

Haha me too 43 now so I think the clock might be winding down on that one.

I planned on being child free by choice, but then it just happened. I was young. But I'm glad I was young because now I'm 36 and almost empty nesting, it's nice to have a house sitter/pet sitter when I go on vacation without having to hire one! lol

I tell him all the time I had him just so I would have a free maid now that he is a teenager. (half joking)

My boyfriend is strictly child free by choice, thinks babies are horrible parasites and the world is far too overpopulated and hopes for a massive catastrophe that leaves a clean slate, just the animals to inherit the planet.

So your boyfriend hopes that you, him, your son, and everyone you know and love dies a horrific death?

I wonder what a psychologist would say that that tells us about him? And what it tells us about anyone who would choose to be with him knowing that about him, and to expose their impressionable teenage child to him?

I feel bad for your son

I think her boyfriend is probably referring to something like the biblical flood. Sometimes I think this planet needs a fresh start as well.

"leaves a clean slate, just the animals to inherit the planet. " <--- Think that is pretty clear and not at all what the bible says. Boyfriend doesn't seem to be referencing the bible or anything like it at all, just hoping for massive widespread death and destruction that leaves no humans. At least based on OPs paraphrasing.

I just reread her comment and she didn't say it like that. And I was referencing the flood as an example. Quit being a douche.

The assumption being that those with large family do not adopt, foster, etc. because of having a large family.

my angle: if one has a large family, i should hope to god it's large because you've adopted/fostered, and not because you've just made a bunch more people. having said that: make a bunch of kids if want. but plan and prepare for them. make sure you have the resources.

down the street from my mother is a couple who has 7 kids. i've met them; they seem like super nice, good people. they own (at least) one business, big property, nice house, lots of stuff. as far as i can tell the oldest are off to college and the youngest are about in middle school. i never asked, but i've guessed they've adopted/fostered some of their kids, because mom and dad are white and a couple of the younger kids are mixed. even if none were adopted/fostered, i would still have no problem because (as far as i can tell) these younglings are not running around terrorizing the neighborhood, they're well fed/clothed, etc. prior to this family moving to the neighborhood there was a family two houses down who had 8 biological kids, college-age to age 3. they had a small house and apparently not as much resources, but the kids seemed exceptionally well cared-for and well-mannered. no problem there. elsewhere in my town there's a young mother on her own with 4 young kids and another on the way, daddy's in "treatment" (i.e. jail), and the 3-year-old likes to take off all his clothes and sit naked in a snowbank during outside playtime at Head Start, because he needs attention (this from his teacher @ HS). that's a problem.

Just so you know I am not offended or upset with you or your opinion, I just like to have to think and be able to both support my opinions as well as seeing the "fallacies" in the position of people whose opinion is different from mine. Keeps me sharp in my old age

GMTA even when they disagree
:flowerforyou: :bigsmile: :drinker:

My mind is honestly quite boggled by these responses. I guess most people here do not know of "childfree by choice" being a thing?

it's not the same as just not having kids, or having an empty nest because your children are older now...

I think a lot of people would find you pretty mind boggling as well!
I'm 18 and obviously have no kids yet. I'm an Aunty to three young ones and at my age that's quite enough for me! However, somewhere down the track I'd love to have a few kids of my own. Can I ask, out of curiosity of course, why did you choose not to have kids?

There are SO many different reasons people choose not to have children: dislike or children, rather focus on career and/or travel, spouse didn't want kids, history of mental health or medical issues, etc. etc. For me personally, it comes down to the fact that I have never once felt called to be a mother and knew when I was a kid myself that I was never going to have kids. I am possessive of my free time and would ignore/resent a child being there demanding it. I'm not convinced that actually having a child would change that for me or that a child is a great reward worth the sacrifices I would have to make. Raising a kid is a big deal! I think you really have to be 150% on board with what you're getting yourself into. Those who are make amazing and wonderful parents. They enjoy raising children, so they should be the ones doing so. Not someone like me who "might" change their mind if I happen to get pregnant (and I got sterilized to remove the possibility of an "oops").

My mind is honestly quite boggled by these responses. I guess most people here do not know of "childfree by choice" being a thing?

it's not the same as just not having kids, or having an empty nest because your children are older now...

I think a lot of people would find you pretty mind boggling as well!
I'm 18 and obviously have no kids yet. I'm an Aunty to three young ones and at my age that's quite enough for me! However, somewhere down the track I'd love to have a few kids of my own. Can I ask, out of curiosity of course, why did you choose not to have kids?

There are SO many different reasons people choose not to have children: dislike or children, rather focus on career and/or travel, spouse didn't want kids, history of mental health or medical issues, etc. etc. For me personally, it comes down to the fact that I have never once felt called to be a mother and knew when I was a kid myself that I was never going to have kids. I am possessive of my free time and would ignore/resent a child being there demanding it. I'm not convinced that actually having a child would change that for me or that a child is a great reward worth the sacrifices I would have to make. Raising a kid is a big deal! I think you really have to be 150% on board with what you're getting yourself into. Those who are make amazing and wonderful parents. They enjoy raising children, so they should be the ones doing so. Not someone like me who "might" change their mind if I happen to get pregnant (and I got sterilized to remove the possibility of an "oops").

I agree. This was something I thought about since I was in my teens.This is an important decision to make. Someone's life is on the line here. Being the oldest of 4- I knew what it would take to take care of children from an early age. I decided that I might not have what it takes patience wise to be a good parent. I don't hate kids. I just didn't want any of my own.

I also agree with alphaloria. I've never felt any "motherly urges" right down to never having participated in nurturing fantasy play as a child--I nurtured animals but not baby dolls and never once pretended to be a mommy. I've never particularly liked children, even as a child, and as an adult I don't feel any want to have children even though I respect those who do make excellent parents. I like being an auntie and that's about as much interaction with kids as I can handle.