Any child free peeps on MFP?

BTW, I would defend anyone who is childless by choice. I, in general, believe that people should have the right to be, do, live, etc. as they want.

I'm child free by choice, not because I never wanted to have children of my own, but because society today seems like such a terrible environment to raise kids in, what with all the mass school shootings, terrorism, etc. going on. Basically, I'm too chicken to have kids because of everything that's going on in the world today. And for that reason, I actively prevent it from happening.

I planned on being child free by choice, but then it just happened. I was young. But I'm glad I was young because now I'm 36 and almost empty nesting, it's nice to have a house sitter/pet sitter when I go on vacation without having to hire one! lol

I tell him all the time I had him just so I would have a free maid now that he is a teenager. (half joking)

My boyfriend is strictly child free by choice, thinks babies are horrible parasites and the world is far too overpopulated and hopes for a massive catastrophe that leaves a clean slate, just the animals to inherit the planet.

So your boyfriend hopes that you, him, your son, and everyone you know and love dies a horrific death?

I wonder what a psychologist would say that that tells us about him? And what it tells us about anyone who would choose to be with him knowing that about him, and to expose their impressionable teenage child to him?

I feel bad for your son

I think her boyfriend is probably referring to something like the biblical flood. Sometimes I think this planet needs a fresh start as well.

My mind is honestly quite boggled by these responses. I guess most people here do not know of "childfree by choice" being a thing?

it's not the same as just not having kids, or having an empty nest because your children are older now...

The assumption being that those with large family do not adopt, foster, etc. because of having a large family.

my angle: if one has a large family, i should hope to god it's large because you've adopted/fostered, and not because you've just made a bunch more people. having said that: make a bunch of kids if want. but plan and prepare for them. make sure you have the resources.

down the street from my mother is a couple who has 7 kids. i've met them; they seem like super nice, good people. they own (at least) one business, big property, nice house, lots of stuff. as far as i can tell the oldest are off to college and the youngest are about in middle school. i never asked, but i've guessed they've adopted/fostered some of their kids, because mom and dad are white and a couple of the younger kids are mixed. even if none were adopted/fostered, i would still have no problem because (as far as i can tell) these younglings are not running around terrorizing the neighborhood, they're well fed/clothed, etc. prior to this family moving to the neighborhood there was a family two houses down who had 8 biological kids, college-age to age 3. they had a small house and apparently not as much resources, but the kids seemed exceptionally well cared-for and well-mannered. no problem there. elsewhere in my town there's a young mother on her own with 4 young kids and another on the way, daddy's in "treatment" (i.e. jail), and the 3-year-old likes to take off all his clothes and sit naked in a snowbank during outside playtime at Head Start, because he needs attention (this from his teacher @ HS). that's a problem.

My mind is honestly quite boggled by these responses. I guess most people here do not know of "childfree by choice" being a thing?

it's not the same as just not having kids, or having an empty nest because your children are older now...

I think a lot of people would find you pretty mind boggling as well!
I'm 18 and obviously have no kids yet. I'm an Aunty to three young ones and at my age that's quite enough for me! However, somewhere down the track I'd love to have a few kids of my own. Can I ask, out of curiosity of course, why did you choose not to have kids?

There are SO many different reasons people choose not to have children: dislike or children, rather focus on career and/or travel, spouse didn't want kids, history of mental health or medical issues, etc. etc. For me personally, it comes down to the fact that I have never once felt called to be a mother and knew when I was a kid myself that I was never going to have kids. I am possessive of my free time and would ignore/resent a child being there demanding it. I'm not convinced that actually having a child would change that for me or that a child is a great reward worth the sacrifices I would have to make. Raising a kid is a big deal! I think you really have to be 150% on board with what you're getting yourself into. Those who are make amazing and wonderful parents. They enjoy raising children, so they should be the ones doing so. Not someone like me who "might" change their mind if I happen to get pregnant (and I got sterilized to remove the possibility of an "oops").

Most likely won't have any human kiddos but do feel some guilt for not providing grandchildren. I'm open to my life and wishes changing, though. I don't think I'll ever want to actually create children, but if children end up in my future, I'd be happy to foster or adopt.

Great thread - thanks for starting this. I had no idea there were so many like minded folks out there. I am currently surrounded by friends and family who are actively, purposely, procreating. I have to keep making younger friends to avoid baby prattle.

i don't go around turning my nose up at those who choose to reproduce (ok, a little: you have 4 kids? great: how many are adopted/fostered?? oh, you're just making more? :smh:). i know that i am in the minority. i know that reproducing is a basic human drive that is incredibly instinctual and fundamental to the human experience. not wanting to reproduce makes me the weird one. i'm okay with that. i'm weird for a lot of other reasons too, so i'm accustomed to the feeling. i also know that humans tend toward uncharitable judgment on things they don't understand, and weird minority incliniations are generally not well understood. i expect to get flak for not following the status quo, and i'm okay with that. humans are goofy critters.

Are you kidding me? These aren't pets we're talking about here.

1 adult + 1 adult = 2 people. you may make 2 people to replace those when they inevitably wear out. need more people in your family? adopt and/or foster. 2 ppl making >2 ppl is selfish when parentless children continue to suffer and the world is running of clean air and water. IMHO.

So you don't want people judging you for not wanting to reproduce, but you're judging others for choosing to have biological children over fostering or adoption. They're not the same. Not even a little. When it comes to adoption and fostering, adopting an infant is the closest thing to having a biological child but they're still not at all the same. It costs thousands and thousands of dollars, can require leaving the country multiple times, additional money for prenatal care depending on the situation, and possible heartbreak if the birth mother changes her mind or things fall through for some other reason.

Adopting or fostering a child isn't even in the same ballpark. You're talking about kids who have been abused, neglected, disappointed, and often act out because of it. No one wanting to be a parent hopes that their kids will grow up to be emotionally stunted and require intensive therapy to be a functional person. If you raise a child who requires it, of course you'll provide that and help them in whatever way you can, but no one intentionally raises a child that way. To suggest that it's selfish for people to have more than 2 kids rather than adopt or foster a child is completely absurd. Just as absurd as suggesting that someone who is "childfree" is selfish for not reproducing, or not fostering, or not adopting. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood and even less are cut out for fostering or adopting a child (not a baby), which is unfortunately why so many fostered kids have such a hard time.